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Twat in suit uses words "Robust and Rigorous" one time too many. Bludgeoned.

Some twat in a senior management position, wearing a drecky Marks & Spencer two piece and light blue stay-prest shirt (but, as if to claw desperately at the last remaining tendril of his...

blokefromstoke 04.11.13 2:02pm
Jonah qualifies for Wales following new 3 day residency rule 2
irreverendJ 04.11.13 1:59pm
70’s Light Entertainer admits molesting self

One of the few remaining figures in 70’s light entertainment not to be questioned as part of Operation Yewtree yesterday admitted molesting himself on repeated occasions over a 30 year period....

blokefromstoke 04.11.13 1:40pm
Co-op and Food Bank set to merge

The troubled Co-op Bank is in talks to merge with the Food Bank in an attempt to prevent branch closures and save jobs. Spokesman for the Co-op, Andrew Gilhooley said, “It’s genius really. ...

Coco 04.11.13 1:22pm
New Schools Chief meets with Headteachers in disused abbatoir

The Secretary of state for Education, Michael Gove has announced the appointment of a new Chief Inspector for Schools. Ronnie “The Animal” Henderson has been brought in to, in Mr Gove’s words,...

blokefromstoke 04.11.13 12:55pm
Midfield Diamond
Royal Mail collapses as penchant for 'open letters' on the rise 0
KateWritesStuff 04.11.13 12:14pm
Juan Sheet does Katie Price 1
Oxbridge 04.11.13 12:11pm
Open Justice: Your guide to televised UK Court proceedings

Despite the much publicised introduction of television cameras in the Court of Appeal, it appears that the general public are still confused about what exactly lawyers and Judges are talking about...

jamsieoconnor 04.11.13 10:59am
Jeepers Creepers

Not to be out done by J Sainsbury and their exciting free 'wandering spider' offer Tesco are offering a selection of free venomous creepy-crawlies with their assorted fruit and vegetables-Buy 0ne get...

vanhellsink 04.11.13 10:17am
Maidstone Prison Riot

..lock 'em all up I say...

vanhellsink 04.11.13 10:08am
Chaos on Welsh Countdown as winner top scores with nine consonents 2
AReader 04.11.13 10:04am
John Wiltshire
From the grave, Jimmy Savile calls for press regulation

Speaking through a weeja board, Jimmy Savile has lent his support to Chris Huhne and called for tighter press regulation...

ronseal 04.11.13 1:09am
I'm Unknown Get Me Out Of Here

Hold onto yer boomerangs cobbers, it's nearly that time of the year again when a motley assortment of unemployable mentally challenged pommie Z list no-hoper's descend on the land of Oz. Yes, it's...

vanhellsink 03.11.13 8:08pm
BBC Mausoleum denies Lord Reith’s embalmed body is 'fake'

In the new BBC Mausoleum, deep in the bowels of Broadcasting House, nothing seems to have changed, since it was built by the British Broadcasting Commissariat over 40 years ago. The first thing you...

nickb 03.11.13 7:38pm
Middle-aged man wins cock drawing of the year award

In a fiercely contested battle of the best knob art, Jon Veitch, a 43 year-old QA inspector from Kent, has won the prestigious title of cock drawing of the year. Jon's piece was among thousands of...

Robopop 03.11.13 5:04pm
Fruit growers' trade paper suffers "sloe news day" 1
nickb 03.11.13 5:02pm
Entrance to Downing Street to be renamed 'Plebgate' 1
bonjonelson 03.11.13 4:19pm
blokefromstoke - that emotional acceptance speech in full

In a lavish ceremony at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Hollywood, an emotional Blokefromstoke accepted his Golden Biscuit from Annette Benning. Miss Benning, appearing as she did in the cult hit...

blokefromstoke 03.11.13 3:22pm
'I make plenty of my own gas, thank you very much', claims Eric Pickles

Conservative politician Eric Pickles has slammed recent claims that be may be involved in the latest expenses scandal that has rocked the Houses of Parliament, by stating outright that he makes 'more...

Jesus H 03.11.13 2:22pm
Jesus H
Racist sick of being targeted by prejudiced police

Barry “Pukey” Gascoigne has spoken out today about the way he and his fellow skinhead racists are discriminated against by police simply for looking the way they do. “Just because we wear...

TobiasBV 03.11.13 2:08pm
Mowvember causes spate of sick leave due to testosterone deficiency.

A group known as the Mowvember Nazis are thought to be responsible for normally conscientious male employees calling in sick due to feelings of inadequacy. Amid pressure to go unshaven during...

MADJEZ 03.11.13 12:59pm
Dangling footwear latest - 'fears grow' for missing tightrope walkers

A spate of dangling footwear on elevated wires has given rise to fears of a vendetta against tightrope walkers. Police have confirmed that there have been a growing number of reports relating to...

Dick Everyman 03.11.13 12:56pm
Paddy Berzinski
Newsbiscuit 'not good enough' to be banned

Despite seven years of ill-considered wit, grammatical errors and excessive references to the Isle of Wight, has thoroughly failed to 'offend anyone of importance'. While popular...

Wrenfoe 03.11.13 12:48pm
Paddy Berzinski
Afghan Taliban ban Pakistan Taliban urban turban

Sunni and Shia hit ‘Then He Kissed Me’ also outlawed, but ‘Bang Bang’ encouraged...

farmer giles 03.11.13 11:35am
Ian Duncan Smith buys monocle and riding crop on eBay 0
blokefromstoke 03.11.13 10:16am
Will Self Completes Paragraph With Normal-Length Words: Paramedics Called 0
deceangli 03.11.13 9:17am
Coalition Latest : Nick Clegg "Can't Remember What I Came In Here For" 0
deceangli 03.11.13 9:10am
Welsh Language Society to Sue Twitter Over 'Absurd' Character Limit

"140 characters is just silly", said a spokesman. "Some Welsh words are barely getting started after 140 characters. We have longer placenames than that". Future targets for the Society include...

deceangli 03.11.13 9:03am
Yewtree Police Swoop on Camberwick Green. Local Miller Arrested

In the latest arrest of a well known celebrity from 70s light entertainment, Officers involved in the Operation Yewtree investigation last night confirmed the arrest of a 68 year old man described as...

blokefromstoke 03.11.13 3:19am
Ref Minor
Strike averted after union agrees to fit Stannah stairlifts to fire engines. 1
dominic_mcg 02.11.13 11:56pm
Psycadelic Squirrel