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Dyslexic fireworks show organiser disappointed by underachieving polytechnics

(Gets coat)...

2
Smart Alex 10.06.13 10:09am
Wrenfoe
GCHQ Staff Lose Will To Live After Trying For Two Years To De-Code NB Posts 2
Titus 10.06.13 10:08am
Wrenfoe
MP shocked to discover he spoke to an undercover constituent

MP Michael Hughes, MP for Alder Valley, expressed his 'shock and outrage' when it was revelaed that someone he took to be an undercover journalist was actually one of his constituents. 'It's...

0
John Wiltshire 10.06.13 9:58am
John Wiltshire
GCHQ praised as only government department that actually listens to its voters. 5
bonjonelson 10.06.13 9:17am
Dick Everyman
£375m Euro Lottery winner chokes to death on celebration ticker tape

Neat-O following disastrous and embarrassing first attempt...

3
Dick Everyman 10.06.13 8:47am
Smart Alex
Fans of Australian rum gather in Watford for the Bundaberg conference 0
johnnydobbo 10.06.13 8:42am
johnnydobbo
BBC weatherman reprimanded for 'insufficient glee' when reporting bad weather. 1
FOAD 10.06.13 8:09am
Arthur
Innovative NewsBiscuit double sided ticker tape claimed to be twice as funny. 0
weematt 10.06.13 7:54am
weematt
Accuweather Pro offers better weather to $15/month subscibers

The leading metrology website Accuweather.com can now offer better weather to subscribers prepared to pay $15/month for its premium service. 'A mere $15 each month means that the gloomy prediction...

1
antharrison 10.06.13 7:39am
Arthur
Woman who threw eggs at Cowell...

had hidden supplies of milk, flour sugar, butter and salt. Police think she planned to batter him to death...

3
FOAD 10.06.13 7:35am
Lindy Moone
MP Traps Journalists With 'Sting' Operation By Falsely Pretending To Be Corrupt 5
Titus 10.06.13 7:09am
Arthur
Britons have nothing to fear from large floating "Death Star"

Having quelled fears about internet snooping by GCHQ, William Hague made it clear that voters should not be worried by the partially constructed space station seen in the night sky above Slough. A...

5
Wrenfoe 10.06.13 7:01am
Sinnick
Man Complains After He Hacks Into GCHQ And Finds GCHQ Has Hacked His Emails 3
Titus 09.06.13 9:59pm
Titus
Vatican pledges to cut down on sainthood emissions

The Pope has responded to demands from environmentalists to stop what they call the “runaway canonisation spree” that has characterised Vatican policy in recent years. He has promised to limit...

0
sydalg 09.06.13 9:48pm
sydalg
Sperm bank bailout "will milk taxpayers dry", economists warn 0
sydalg 09.06.13 9:34pm
sydalg
Sperm Bank Crisis Latest: Government Resolve “Holding Firm”

The continuing fall in the sperm count in the Urethrazone has in recent days led to panic withdrawals as deposits dry up. Labour Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls has taken the lead in denouncing...

0
Iggy Pop-Barker 09.06.13 9:27pm
Iggy Pop-Barker
Jamie Oliver develops new range of Freezers - Bish-bash Bosch 0
Smart Alex 09.06.13 9:21pm
Smart Alex
Airfix aims to crack US market with new Drone and Afghan Wedding kit 5
pere floza 09.06.13 8:12pm
Arthur
Man with addiction to unnecessary amputations says it has cost an arm and a leg 0
Ian Searle 09.06.13 8:11pm
Ian Searle
Shopper detained by supermarket security for not having up to date Nectar card 0
Ian Searle 09.06.13 8:09pm
Ian Searle
Lard to be renamed L'Ard in major image makeover 0
sydalg 09.06.13 8:07pm
sydalg
US, China deny responsibility for “funny smell” coming from the internet

“I was just Skyping my nephew in Australia, and something weird happened,” recalls Jane Smyth, a teacher from Surrey. “We both started to detect this really odd smell from our wireless routers...

0
nickb 09.06.13 8:07pm
nickb
GCHQ Facebook page taken down after not enough likes 0
nickb 09.06.13 7:56pm
nickb
Tim Yeo denies his new “Yeo Sushi” Commons restaurant breaks parliamentary rules 0
nickb 09.06.13 7:55pm
nickb
MP "only" grooming NOT coaching

Fighting allegations that he helped private companies influence Parliament, Tim Yeo insists that it was he who seduced them not the other way around. The Conservative MP made it clear that any...

0
Wrenfoe 09.06.13 4:14pm
Wrenfoe
Man who ate scrabble set hopes to pass words soon. 3
weematt 09.06.13 3:46pm
irreverendJ
UK has nothing to fear from GCHQ - Hague

"Apart from Jennifer Sutton of Common View, Cardiff - wow, that was an [i]interesting[/i] phone call."...

0
apepper 09.06.13 2:56pm
apepper
Young Armed Robber Threatens To Use His Pa's Sword To Obtain Money 4
Titus 09.06.13 1:37pm
Al OPecia
Satirical News Site “Definitely Not Hacked” by Beautiful and Talented GCHQ Staff

‘Absolutely no evidence’ exists that online satirical publication Newsbiscuit is being hijacked by clever and charming spies at GCHQ, said Foreign Secretary William Hague today. Mr Hague was...

0
Ablative Fabsolute 09.06.13 1:14pm
Ablative Fabsolute
Death kills Time in pub; Time heals all wounds.

Witnesses claim, 'It's a miracle!'...

1
Lindy Moone 09.06.13 12:52pm
Lindy Moone