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Office worker loses pen 7
Yikes 3 years

John Smith turned up to work on Monday. He sat down. He reached for his pen. It wasn’t there. He looked for it for a while before having a cup of tea. Refreshed, he had another look. Still no luck....

'Two out of four' children dont understand fractions 0
Underconstruction 3 years
Infantry leader re-tweets 0
Underconstruction 3 years
Comparison website apologises for advert "simply not annoying enough" 0
Crippen 3 years

"We feel like we have not only let the public down, but ourselves too, said a representative for Compare-U-Ware website today. We could not come up with a daft dog, racist meerkat, singing oaf or...

Olympic Military Presence Causes False Starts Uproar 0
GKen 3 years

Athletes competing in this summer's London Olympics are reported to be up in arms (sic) at the prospect of a huge military presence at the Games. They fear that the firing of ground-to-air and...

AA Gill snears at BB King 8
nickb 3 years
Murdoch in market for more “free war” sports 0
pitflaps 3 years

Rupert Murdoch, the sinister 80 year old selective amnesiac media baron has expressed an interest in broadcasting sports events bundled with free mounting civil unrest. Last weekend’s Bahrain...

Seasoned traveller recommends vinaigrette sun cream 0
nickb 3 years
Lucky Strike smoker unluckily struck by Lucky Strike truck 0
nickb 3 years
Wettest drought since records began 0
Oxbridge 3 years
Cameron says "No Grand deal with Murdochs", Its was several Hundred Grand 0
virtuallywill 3 years

Brown envelope later...

Business News: Screwfix to market Viagra brand 1
weematt 3 years

Screwfix, the catalogue and online tool specialists are to market a new range of products under the Viagra brand., Explaining the move, Screwfix CEO John Thomas said 'Tools of all shapes and sizes...

Train suicide man faces 45 year wait for train to heaven due to live man on line 2
kga6 3 years

Recently deceased, Martin Rackly, is one of a number of ex-persons awaiting access to heaven. Despite taking his own life by jumping in front of a train during rush hour just outside London, there is...

IKEA sponsorship of superhero movie ill advised after Avengers Assemble failure 0
simonjmr 3 years
UK Border Force prepared for "near catastrophic meltdown" over Olympics 0
grumblechops 3 years

The UK Border Force says it is now fully aware of the shit storm in which it will soon be engulfed, as millions of people from all over the world attempt to negotiate their way through the chaotic...

Coroner's Court judges Gareth Williams MI6 death an open and shut case 2
charlies_hat 3 years
Ground-to-air missile system to be sited on Eastenders Queen Vic during Olympics 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Land-bank fraud victims told to invest in unicorn studs & money trees instead. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

More stories of gullible folk soon...

Animal Cloning Arm of WWF to re-brand as WTF 0
allmyownstunts 3 years
James Naughtie vindicated 8
medici2471 3 years
Please Pull Our Shrowds Down When Your Finished 0
Youngcrow 3 years

An Egyptian man who “mistakingly” thought that the Egyptian Farewell Intercourse Law had already been passed has been awarded undisclosed damages after his passionate farewell to his dead...

Maverick Taliban who doesn't do things by The Book is TV cop show smash hit 12
ronseal 3 years

Abu Basada was no ordinary Taliban. He broke all the rules and the Mullahs in head office hated him - but he always got results. And now, he's coming out of retirement for one last case, a...

MI6 death: chief tells maverick detective it's an open and shut case 2
ronseal 3 years
Body in bag spy disliked MI6 ‘being padlocked inside a holdall’ culture 5
Gary Stanton 3 years

The spy found dead in a padlocked holdall hated the ‘flash sports bag and leathery confinement culture of the MI6’ , according to reports. Gareth Williams, 31, told his sister, Ceri Subbe, he...

Customs officer asks MI6 spy "Did you pack yourself in this bag? More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Pointless satire getting sharper 0
Ostsee 3 years
Goal line technologist changes his mind after being surrounded by Moan U players 0
ronseal 3 years

Manchester United officials have announced they are ready for new decision making technology. In a trial of goal line technology at Old Trafford, a pack of angry Moan United players successfully...

Border Control Agency announces height restrictions to reduce queues at UK ports 0
Underconstruction 3 years

Human Rights groups have reacted angrily to news that a 1.9 metre height restriction is to be imposed at all Passport Control Desks for visitors to the UK., Head of Immigration and Alien Control,...

BA announces economy seat leg room to be directly linked to the economy 0
Underconstruction 3 years

British Airways Chief Executive Holly Dolly has announced that leg room in all of its economy seating areas will change in line with the growth or shrinkage of the economy., "This was an extremely...

Heathrow reports 50% fall in passenger numbers but huge demand for hold-alls 0
Underconstruction 3 years