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Olympic training success in Nottingham as Brits catch up with Ethiopian runner 0
button 3 years
Old Spice Girls to perform 'Carmina Burana' 11
V Riddoch 3 years
Satan appointed head of new regulator to clean up banking. 0
Ian 3 years

More later...

McGuinness accepts his playful 'going for gun' gesture showed poor judgment 8
cinquecento 3 years
Nat West systems working again after emergency hamster replacement... 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Murdoch blames entire world for him not being rich enough 0
apepper 3 years

Rupert Murdoch has bitterly attacked the world for him not being rich. "If they had the tiniest intelligence, they'd see I deserve plenty more money. For Chrissake, Larry Ellison just bought an...

Franz Ferdinand Final Gig in Sarajevo 0
custard cream 3 years

Scottish band Franz Ferdinand have announced they will bow out with a final concert in Sarajevo. Speaking from the Latin Bridge in the former Serbian city, lead vocalist Alex Kapranos, confirmed the...

Worker ants decline as more young ants move into service industries 2
bonjonelson 3 years
Barclays makes £1bn in 2 days after short-selling Barclays shares 0
grumblechops 3 years
Chinese astronauts return to Earth to find a planet where intelligent talking ap 0
simonhansen 3 years

Chinese astronauts return to Earth to find a planet where intelligent talking apes are the dominant species, and humans are oppressed and enslaved. China's first female astronaut, 33-year-old Liu...

Traffic police tipped off to odd driver with both hands on steering wheel 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Neil Diamond 'hurt and bewildered' by sudden hate campaign 5
V Riddoch 3 years

Legendary American singer-songwriter Neil Diamond is 'at a loss' to understand why he is suddenly at the centre of an intense and targeted hate campaign, he told journalists at a Las Vegas press...

Argentine church scandal: Vatican accuses press of bishop bashing. 0
weematt 3 years
Murderer captured, Katy Holmes escapes 0
apepper 3 years

In a strange twist escaped murderer, John Massey, has been recaptured. Meanwhile the escape of Katie Holmes has been announced...

Unsuccessful Olympic fencing hopeful blames 'sword's law' 0
Haywood Manley 3 years
GoldenBoy fixes the Euro Crisis 0
GoldenBoy 3 years

With Spain going cap in hand to the European Central Bank and 15 major European banks having their credit downgraded, many of my followers are asking me what happens next and what we can do to fix...

Chinese astronauts return to Earth where talking apes are the dominant species, 0
simonhansen 3 years

Chinese astronauts return to Earth where talking apes are the dominant species, and humans are oppressed and enslaved...

Austerity finally hits as Prince Charles only gets 11% rise to £2 million a year 0
JohnA 3 years

I have nothing else to say...

Barclays boss to forego key to the executive washroom. 0
Boutros 3 years

For a week, until the fuss blows over...

Banks say £200bn could solve integrity issues 0
rustytruss 3 years
Olympic Champions to be charged for medals 0
grumblechops 3 years

Lord Coe today revealed that recipients of medals at this summer’s Olympics would be asked to pay “a nominal fee” of around £500 if they wished to retain their award after the Games. The...

Tory Tourist Board Guide to…’Staycations’ 2
kimllfixit 3 years

With the parliamentary summer break almost upon us, it is time for MPs to get their secretaries to book a holiday for their families (in order for it to be classed as a ‘business expense’). The...

Weather presenters to be allowed to swear 0
Haywood Manley 3 years

In what has been hailed as an important step towards more accurate forecasting BBC weather presenters will from next week be able to use swear words during their broadcasts. BBC South East's Tomasz...

The Sad Decline of Britain’s Hole Punch Manufacturers 0
TheNewsWalrus 3 years

Few would doubt the size of the impact that the IT revolution has had on our lives. Online shopping is now the norm, social networking sites have helped to remove dictators and many have made their...

Peston - "I knew all along but...........said.........nothing". 0
Drylaw 3 years
Exclusive Interview with President Of Prevaricators' Association 0
Iggy Pop-Barker 3 years

Coming soon...

MTV facing legal action over new show “You’ve Been Jackass’d” 0
grumblechops 3 years

A number of Hollywood celebrities are said to be considering legal action over a new MTV show which combines the candid-camera practical joke format of shows such as Punk’d and Beadle’s About...

North East England hose pipe ban may be lifted soon 1
bonjonelson 3 years
Sacked Bishop who had consensual sex with adult woman 'a pervert' says Pope 6
pinxit 3 years
British bankers the musical 0
kevingower 3 years

British bankers debut Canary Wharf musical “Fiddler on the roof” Bob Diamond rendition of “If I was a rich man” had audiences aghast...