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New speed limit guidelines are simple explains PC Professor Burrows 1
beau-jolly 3 years

“The formula is quite easy”, the learned policeman smiled. “The speed you can go beyond the limit before being done may be expressed as (S1-S) > ((S/((100-E)/100)+/-...

Public fail to gain admission to Aintree as course packed with A-Z listed celebs 4
Basil_B 3 years

Angry scenes were witnessed today outside Aintree racecourse for todays Grand National as members of the general public failed to gain entry to the course because the capacity had already been taken...

Lexicographers at a loss to explain why "limerick" doesn't rhyme perfectly . 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
Courts to accept 'can't do mental arithmetic' defense in speeding cases. 0
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Cameron not to renew Clegg's internship. 0
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Fans furious as Status Quo Tribute Band is replaced by real thing. More soon. 4
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
Cameron Definite About Attending Royal Wedding.... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

..But may have a rethink and may call for a postponement.it all dependsbut definitely maybe.he thinks...

Management guru told me to Think the Unthinkable pleads Rose West 0
ronseal 3 years
Fans furious as second Chesney Hawkes is discovered... 12
Screenie 3 years
Balloon industry fears redundancies as plans to restrict inflation are unveiled 1
Screenie 3 years

Providers of bouncy castles are also deeply concerned but a government spokesman stated that people needed to 'stop blowing things out of all proportion'...

News Biscuit International apologised today. 1
Tammy Flugh 3 years

Not for hacking, but for publishing imaginary stories for several years...

Government unveil plans for a dribbling, incontinent workforce 7
suepersonic 3 years

The government have unveiled their plans for a dribbling, incontinent workforce by raising the State Pension Age to 95. This will mean the upper class, with their super-plus pension plans, can still...

SAS to launch own brand poo bags for people who pick up after dogs or commandos 2
ronseal 3 years

SAS poo bags, used to clear up evidence that member of the crack unit are in enemy territory, are to be launched as a commercial spin off aimed at dog owners and anyone else who has to clean up poo....

Truth is "on the increase" due to Blair being out of the country and... 1
deskpilot3 3 years

because the Daily Sport has ceased publication...

Sunbeds set to go 'ping' when the user is done. 3
Basil_B 3 years
Child used by kidnapper as mattress found to be severely orthopaedic 0
Screenie 3 years
Attempt to beat world gangbang record begins... 0
Screenie 3 years

more to cum...

Actors strike as protest to arts cuts. No-one notices. 2
beau-jolly 3 years

Leading actors including Sir Patrick Stewart and Samuel West are among those protesting against arts cuts., Sir Pat flounced, “We don’t know where the axe will fall next but it is unlikely to...

Government to create 1000s of jobs as MPs give up directorships. 1
martin2381 3 years
Social networking site 'off your face' book launched... 11
be reasonable 3 years

this enables people to share photos of themselves when drunk and to exchange mindless drivel about their tedious, unimportant livesoh, hang on, hasn't that been done?...

Court case halted as Rooney refuses to swear oath 2
Screenie 3 years

When speaking to the BBC news cameras he stated, 'I wasn't going to make that fucking mistake again. Oh bollocks'...

Telegraph: Camerons enjoy romantic holiday in Granada... 2
be reasonable 3 years

the Galaxy's in for a service...

Samuel L Jackson asked to read bible passage from Pulp FIction at Royal Wedding 1
simonjmr 3 years

There's this passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name...

NoW journalist with bad cough admits hacking 0
beau-jolly 3 years
BBC to update another old drama: Dr. Finely's Facebook 1
beau-jolly 3 years

Moorland soon, Janet...

Bicycle giant makes wheel big decision 5
Screenie 3 years

Bicycle manufacturing giants Apollo have announced that, from January next year, the wheels on their bikes will be moulded out of a single piece of plastic as opposed to the traditional metal prongs....

New Grand National fence the John McCririck sideburn to be introduced this year 0
Basil_B 3 years
Birmingham hairdresser accused of grooming 22 girls 0
beau-jolly 3 years

Did I miss something here?...

William and Kate announce bank holiday for divorce date in June 2016. 6
Basil_B 3 years

News broke from Buckingham Palace today of Prince William and Kate Middleton's divorce date which will be the 15th of June 2016. The palace issued a statement declaring that in view of modern royal...

Striking Jobcentre staff want unemployed "not to cross picket lines by working" 0
simonjmr 3 years