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Man with date of birth tattooed on arm beginning to fear he’s showing his age 7
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years
Afghan opium production 'at all time high" 1
simonjmr 3 years
UK and U.S. special forces free Woolwich Ferry 2
witless 3 years

British and U.S. special forces staged a daring raid to free the Woolwich Ferry which had been hijacked by pirates off the coast of North Woolwich today. The pirates surrendered and were arrested...

John Craven to Host the X-Tractor. 4
delightfullyodd 3 years

FORMER Newsround presenter and all round countryfile good guy John Craven has been announced as the host of BBC's new reality show The X-Tractor. Expand on this perhaps folks?...

Supreme Court rules that forced marriage is to be encouraged 0
medici2471 3 years
Desperate Blackberry users switch to conference pears 1
Runestone Cowboy 3 years
Gringotts - "Wizards to Switch to Euro" 1
apepper 3 years

In a surprise announcement, the wizarding bank Gringotts has announced that the Galleon is being discontinued and in 2014 the wizarding community will switch to the euro. "I know it seems a bad...

Squirrel Hedge Fund Leader Claims "This is the Wrong Time To Stockpile Nuts" 2
thisisall1word 3 years
Fox buggered by accusations 1
witless 3 years

Liam Fox today questioned the reporting of a [s]buggery[/s] burglary which took place in his flat around the time of the General Election. “My wife was stranded in Hong Kong due to the volcanic...

Prime Ministers questions to include 5 minute reality TV discussion every week 0
Iamthestig 3 years

In a bid to be more street, our elected members will discuss the X factor, Strictly come dancing, big brother, Katie Price and any other tat that passes for entertainment, as these are the real issue...

"Don't Ask ,Don't Tell" unacceptable response to MoD probe 0
medici2471 3 years
Ban on 1500m and 800m runners from attending 2012 Olympics slammed as racist. 0
wallster 3 years
Africa to hold Band Aid concert for poverty stricken UK 9
Perks 3 years

The governments of Ethiopia, Kenya and Somalia are to hold 3 simultanious concerts for the poor and needy families in the UK. One official told us that he realised something had to be done when he...

The Sweeney Series 8 Episode 4 0
Drylaw 3 years

"Hello, Liam." "Hello, Mr Regan." "Excuse George and I barging in like this but we had a whisper you might be up to something..comprende?" "Me Mr Regan? You should know better than that. I've...

Man United to take over London Olympic stadium to be closer to their fans. 4
MADJEZ 3 years
Fox can explain everything "It's all on the Blackberry server" 0
apepper 3 years

Defence Secretary, Liam Fox, has a document that completely explains the apparent misunderstanding about the position of Adam Werritty. "It clears up everything; why he was in my office, why he was...

I'll warrant there's nae harder man than George Alagiah - Scots fan 0
Drylaw 3 years
Wheelchair looters demand getaway ramps 3
Boutros 3 years

Disability rights campaigners are planning action in support of the wheelchair-bound looter jailed for making off with a television from a ransacked branch of Argos. "It's a clear discrimination by...

Saudi Ambassador regrets not offering Iranian delegate a Ferrero Rocher 0
Perks 3 years
Olympic stadium to become a Starbucks. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Sting Claims Credit As Special Forces Rescue Pirate Held Ship 1
The All New Jeni B 3 years

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-15261734...

Widowed fruit and veg seller finally 'back on the market' 1
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Steve Jobs' coffin not expected to have windows. 1
wallster 3 years
OCD sufferers demand action over ‘deeply upsetting’ leaning Big Ben 14
3 years

OCD sufferers are demanding immediate action to straighten Big Ben. Experts believe the clock tower could be out of kilter by as much as 0.26 degrees. “One report claims that the tower is leaning...

Bomb disposal engineers to help elderly switch on central heating 2
roybland 3 years

The government Is deploying crack army bomb disposal units to help Britain's elderly switch on their central heating this winter.,  , Fred (86) and Ethel (85) Wilkinson said they've been trying...

Rail travellers urged to cuddle during rush-hour 6
3 years

Over-crowding on Britain's rail network could soon become a thing of the past, according to transport experts. A scheme encouraging rail users to accept each other in a tight embrace could increase...

Fox in right job. Look how good at defence he is, quips PM 2
Clarky 3 years
Braehead shopping centre changes Photo Shopping policy 1
witless 3 years

The owners of Braehead shopping centre have agreed that pictures of smiling customers can once again be PhotoShopped to look miserable, as they do NOT represent the majority of their visitors....

Rooney writes to UEFA to reduce ban 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

Dear Mr UEFA Must be a Euro thing as it was Dear Jim when I was a kid. Anyway, as bans go, three's a bit harsh ennit? And I was hoping that with my serious face and an extra weave due next week I...

“Adult” sites will be required to offer public service content. 1
nickb 3 years

In landmark legislation the Department of Media, Culture and Sport will require pornographic websites to carry news, educational or community programmes, or face shut down., “We’re not...