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Could Be Worse….

…Like an easier limbo at Moscow Airport toilets...

0
Jesse Bigg 04.03.14 8:56pm
Jesse Bigg
Higg's Boson Lost

The Director of CERN has announced the loss of the Higg's Boson, the subatomic particle the Multi-Billion Euro Large Hadron Collider facility was built to find. 'It was here, in my drawer, in a...

2
throngsman 04.03.14 8:53pm
throngsman
"What's The Big Deal….

…I just came along here, with my mates for a 'selfie.", said some bloke called Putin...

0
Jesse Bigg 04.03.14 8:31pm
Jesse Bigg
Disputin Putin puts boot in after Kyle confirms he's not Rasputin

with tip to bewsniscuit...

0
irreverendJ 04.03.14 8:19pm
irreverendJ
World Cup: just 124 days until England are knocked out on penalties... 1
Tripod 04.03.14 8:16pm
irreverendJ
UK test fires "super elastic" catapult. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 04.03.14 7:58pm
Al OPecia
Reduced-size Britain to be known as FCUK (Formerly Called United Kingdom)

(acknowledgement to Andyiong)...

1
Son of Barnabas 04.03.14 7:57pm
sydalg
Nile Ripper

Former Toon player disgusted at antics of Newcastle Manager Alan Pardew...

0
foldyman 04.03.14 7:52pm
foldyman
Farage fuming over plan to rename south coast town 'Bogdan Regis'

Nigel Farage has declared that the West Sussex town of Bognor Regis will have its name changed to Bogdan Regis over his dead body! Looking clearly shaken by the news he told the press, "This is just...

0
Duff 04.03.14 7:44pm
Duff
Call for more rigorous Aides testing as Cameron loses another close friend.

More later...

3
spoole2112 04.03.14 6:39pm
jimmydodger
CPS to drop phone hacking charges

In a surprise announcement the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) today stated that the phone hacking charges facing former News of the World editor, Rebekah Brooks, were being withdrawn. However a CPS...

1
throngsman 04.03.14 6:38pm
deceangli
Defence Council: "Pistorius Will Walk" 0
BewsNiscuit 04.03.14 6:18pm
BewsNiscuit
Putin Puttin' Boot In

Not Rasputin...

0
BewsNiscuit 04.03.14 6:17pm
BewsNiscuit
Badgers "invited DEFRA to defend their cow friends"

More to follow...

0
apepper 04.03.14 6:08pm
apepper
Mobile-phone company to increase phone spying charge 0
Dumbnews 04.03.14 5:59pm
Dumbnews
Slight Rise in Council Tax Forecast

The proposed rises are expected to be in line with the local rises in the water levels, with London experiencing a moderate rise in Council Tax, Scotland seeing a slight drop due to being permanently...

0
throngsman 04.03.14 5:05pm
throngsman
Anger Attacks Might Solve Population Crisis

Research at Harvard has indicated that angry people have more heart attacks than chilled people and that the risk of a heart attack persists for up to two hours after reading the Daily Mail,...

0
throngsman 04.03.14 5:03pm
throngsman
German physicists in disarray as they realise Angular Motion isn't Chancellor

Too technical?...

0
throngsman 04.03.14 4:59pm
throngsman
Reformed 50s beat combo 'Light Brigade' advised to rethink Crimean tour dates. 0
spoole2112 04.03.14 4:44pm
spoole2112
Swearing 'absolutely not a sin', declares stressed Pope

Pope Francis announced that swearing is ‘absolutely not a sin any longer’ under Catholic teaching, just a day after he dropped the f-bomb during a Papal audience in Rome, leading to questions...

2
The Paper Ostrich 04.03.14 4:11pm
Squudge
UK & US rule out military intervention: Russia actually has WMDs

David Cameron and Barack Obama have today ruled out the possibility of taking any military action in Ukraine, on the grounds that Russia definitely does have Weapons of Mass Destruction. ‘We...

3
ianslat 04.03.14 4:01pm
Ironduke
Decisive EU warning on Crimea: 'Eurovision will be really awkward this year'

European Union leaders have made their first common statement on the Ukraine crisis, warning Russia that its actions leave them no choice but to be 'really, really frosty' at this year's Eurovision...

3
The Paper Ostrich 04.03.14 3:57pm
Squudge
Brooks freed and seconded to Putin Intelligence Unit. More soon 0
Al OPecia 04.03.14 3:55pm
Al OPecia
God joins facebook but unsure how to differentiate himself 2
Dumbnews 04.03.14 3:46pm
Al OPecia
World War 3 likely after James Blunt tour date mix up 0
Bigglesworth 04.03.14 3:38pm
Bigglesworth
Mail readers ratchet up the tension outside psychiatric hospitals

Health Authorities and Hospital Trusts are becoming concerned over what at first were isolated incidents, but that now becoming more frequent and appear to be linked to the emerging action group,...

0
Duff 04.03.14 3:28pm
Duff
Channel 5 create a legal aid based court drama called Poly Cotton. 0
Ian Searle 04.03.14 2:37pm
Ian Searle
Russia and Ukraine : War breaks out between rival news groups

As tensions between Ukraine and Russia eased off, a squabble broke out between SKY and the BBC. Tempers flaired up as SKYs Lindsey Lomax accused BBCs Vanessa Surbiton of stealing her sandwich. Fists...

0
footinmouth 04.03.14 2:33pm
footinmouth
Russian troops in Crimea "only looking for badgers". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 04.03.14 12:50pm
Al OPecia
Russian invasion of Crimea "due to climate change". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 04.03.14 12:49pm
Al OPecia