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Olympic flame action replay due to start in 19 days 2
apepper 3 years

The BBC is launching a dedicated channel for the slow motion action replay of the Olympic flame journey from Cornwall to London "the long way". The new channel, BBC Paintdry HD, will start...

Usain Bolt tests positive to a Morris Oxford 1
Yikes 3 years

In the biggest scandal in Olympics history, world’s fastest man, Usain Bolt, was found to have significant amounts of chromium in his blood after having ingested an entire Morris Oxford, Series Six...

M.I.5 To Begin Monitoring Wasps 3
daneade 3 years

Embarrassed security chiefs were caught napping on the job when it was revealed Britons are more at risk from wasp attacks than from Al Qaeda terrorists. ‘Fuck me’ said M15 Boss Jonathan Evans....

Katie Holmes misspelt statement: "Cult won't get my Suri" 1
apepper 3 years

Educational experts have attacked Katie Holmes for an obvious misspelling in her statement of "That cult won't get my Suri"...

Spain puts Euro 2012 trophy on E-Bay 2
seymour totti 3 years
EU Directive calls for Holdall renaming 0
simonjmr 3 years

The common or garden Holdall has today come under pressure to be renamed after the EU Directive for clearer naming of goods came into force. The term "Holdall" under the new guideslines is deemed to...

Royal Mail attributes 400% profit increase to rise of hate mail 0
Yikes 3 years

The debate over gay marriage has proved to be a godsend for Royal Mail as surging hate mail pushed their 2012 profit from GBP 39m to GBP 211m. Royal Mail CEO Moya Greene said the stellar result...

Waterstones creates "Sloppy fan fiction" section after success of 50 shades 0
simonjmr 3 years
Athletes to strike for extra pay during Olympics 2
jp1885 3 years
2.6m unemployed accused by Daily Mail of massive scale tax avoidance 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Film breaks out on set of new Jackie Chan movie 8
simonhansen 3 years
Khan Noonien Singh brands Klingons 'creepy and evil' 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Cash strapped NHS trust to re-introduce the tar bucket. 0
DroleNoel 3 years

With type 2 diabetes at record levels and resultant amputations being performed on a daily basis, South Essex Hospital management has decided money must be saved., After an internal audit showed the...

Bob Diamond to sue Newscorp for Libor in high court 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years
Richard Branson sets new world record for self-publicity 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Scientologists brand Murdoch 'creepy and evil' 0
Ian 3 years

More later...

Richard Branson becomes first person to walk across the English Channel. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Local man upgrades to less dumb phone 0
Dumbnews 3 years
"Who Gives A Fuck" To Be Added To US Ballot In November 0
Textbook 3 years

"Who Gives A Fuck" has beaten out intense competition from "Politicans Are Human Scum" and "They're Both Wankers" to emerge as the official third party candidate in this year's American elections....

Bookies slash odds on a Briton wining the Olympic Flame relay 0
bonjonelson 3 years
'50 shades of gey' best selling book in Brighton. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Euro final, anthems replaced with 'Una paloma blanca' and 'Shaddupyaface'. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Rogue England fans sought. More soon...

50 Shades of Grey will now have a Chav Style Follow up 0
Timerman 3 years

After the phenomenal success of sales with 50 Shades of Grey, the author has decided to release a second & third book in the series aimed at the Chav community after repeated requests from Tracy...

'Withdraw life-support' from George Osborne call 0
roybland 3 years

Demands are growing at Westminster for the withdrawal of life-support from Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne. Osborne, who is rarely seen in public and is believed to have been in a...

Wales to go online with Minitel 0
miked10270 3 years

Walles to go onlline with minitell ll ll...

Gold for Britain as Thomas beats Bolt . 0
mrlemoncurry 3 years

Britain gained a surprise gold medal in the men’s one hundred metre final . Jamaican Usain Bolt who was expected to easily win was shocked to be beaten and also see his world record smashed by...

'Wrong flame' mix up causes Olympic torch relay to be rerun. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

There were embarrassed faces at the LOCOG as it emerged that the Jubilee beacon and Olympic flames had been mixed up. It is thought to have started as a prank by junior members of both teams after a...

Online gamers become first to complete Internet on hardest setting 8
grumblechops 3 years

Two unemployed men from Woking in Surrey have become the first people to complete The Internet on the hardest setting, game designer Sir Tim Berners-Lee confirmed today. 34 year old Michael Roberts...

Wiltshire man to be ONLY person in UK NOT to carry the sodding Olympic torch. 1
MADJEZ 3 years
LAPD honour guard to beat Rodney King's coffin with sticks at funeral. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Before firing a volley of teargas over the crowd., More soon...