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Alcoholic drinks to carry mug-shot of Mel Gibson

An All-Party Parliamentary Group has recommended that, rather than ambiguous health warnings, all bottles containing alcohol should depict career suicides to emphasize the perils of drink. There will...

Wrenfoe 11.08.14 8:37am
Alcohol to carry 'May Cause Intoxication' warning 0
RobArmstrong 11.08.14 8:33am
USA To Bomb IS Till It Becomes WAS 0
Dun Dunkin 11.08.14 8:11am
Dun Dunkin
Bottom 5% to be culled

George Osborne has announced plans to cull the poorest 5% in a bid to move Britain ahead of Belgium in the ‘GDP per head’ table. “The poorest 5% really pull down the average wealth”, he told...

deceangli 10.08.14 11:37pm
Sir Lupus
'Driverless F1 cars will save a fortune on victory champagne' says Ecclestone. 0
Crayon 10.08.14 10:52pm
Mario Kart programmer wins Japanese Grand Prix with driverless F1 car. 0
Crayon 10.08.14 10:49pm
Endless blanket coverage of WWI anniversary 'all over by Christmas' promises BBC 2
Skylarking 10.08.14 10:05pm
Americans confused why they are now in a war on the same side as Syria and Iran 0
bonjonelson 10.08.14 9:47pm
Brits Celebrate Multiculturalism As ISIS Flag Raised in Tower Hamlets Or "THIS" 0
Dun Dunkin 10.08.14 8:53pm
Dun Dunkin
MIDDLE EAST: Peace breaks out following cutting Twitter meme

Jews and Arabs, Sunni and Shia danced arm in arm last night after a tweet from John Stevens of Luton was agreed by all sides to have completely 'nailed it'. Commentators have agreed that the amateur...

BAJDixon 10.08.14 7:47pm
Shape-changing Lizard People "not doing much of a job ruling the world"

Conspiracy theorists are becoming ever more exasperated by the failure of the Lizard People to maintain world order. Derek Smythe from Wolverhampton, self-styled spokesperson for the secret group...

vulture1 10.08.14 7:25pm
Black Flag of ISIS Raised In Tower Hamlets

"Why should we go to Syria to fight when we can do it at home. Not everyone can afford a flight and some have to do their homework and be in bed by 10pm so its only right we 'Think Global Act Local'"...

Dun Dunkin 10.08.14 4:12pm
Dun Dunkin
ISIS Offer to Buy £8bn in Arms to Become A Uk 'Friend and Ally' 0
Dun Dunkin 10.08.14 4:01pm
Dun Dunkin
Supermarkets Battle for Humanitarian Aid Market Share - Refugee Loyalty Scheme!

The big players in the food retail market recognize that in the face of a saturated domestic market there is a need to exploit other markets., Behind the scenes there have been major moves on the...

bandera_bunny 10.08.14 3:10pm
Hitler disassociates himself from UKIP MEP

More to follow...

apepper 10.08.14 2:02pm
Death on expensive holidays tops the list of things we have 'no sympathy for'

August marks that time of year when British holidaymakers begin their annual cull by leaping drunkenly from balconies, ignoring ski helmets or by combining scuba diving with outboard motors....

Wrenfoe 10.08.14 1:34pm
Thunderbirds Aren't Go

The recently announced tightening of British border control has had an unexpected side-effect. An anonymous spokesperson for the International Rescue organisation went on record as saying, "We've...

Coffeemate 10.08.14 12:42pm
Wheelie bin blown over in Penge. You WERE warned. 0
Squudge 10.08.14 11:43am
Tropical disappointment Bertha heralds 'return to normal'.

Weather forecasters across the country are breathing a collective sigh of relief as ex-hurricane Bertha arrived in the UK to return the British summer to more familiar patterns. For the last three...

Squudge 10.08.14 11:23am
Boy Who Cried Wolf passes Met Office entrance exam 0
deceangli 10.08.14 10:49am
Man with erectile dysfunction has best kept house on street

A man who has been suffering with impotence for the last 4 months has thrown himself into a frenzy of DIY and household chores in an attempt to hide the problem from his wife. 'It's great' said the...

bookiesfriend 10.08.14 10:45am
End of online porn in sight as Bear Grylls seeks to ban bare girls

“Bare boys are ok though” said the daredevil tv star, who also confessed to Holly Willoughby on ‘This Morning’ his favourite show is ‘Scouting for Boys’, closely followed by ‘I’m A...

farmer giles 10.08.14 9:59am
farmer giles
Millions die after neglecting severe weather warning

Millions of motorists are believed to have perished after failing to heed weather warnings this weekend. A comet struck the M6 near Stafford, leaving a smoking crater 60 metres wide. Further south...

deceangli 10.08.14 9:31am
Bear Grylls to sue George Foreman for Grill infringement

Having successfully litigated against the commercial use of the word Bear in association with knife manufacture, Mr. Grylls has instructed the law firm of Carpmaels and Ransford to stop the 'wanton...

Wrenfoe 10.08.14 8:22am
Clegg 'Siphoned Fuel was North Sea Oil replacement in case Scotland votes Yes' 0
Not Amused 09.08.14 7:44pm
Not Amused
BBC to investigate new complaint that Jeremy Clarkson breathes "in a racist way" 1
deskpilot3 09.08.14 7:40pm
US airstrikes on Iraq as part of Operation Take The Focus Away From Israel.

More soon probably needs a better title but you get the gist...

MADJEZ 09.08.14 5:19pm
US owned chemists chain abandons shops in Iraq with 'no Boots on the ground' vow 0
bookiesfriend 09.08.14 5:12pm
Global Warming, Plague, War... Government runs out of bad news to bury

There is a crisis in Government ranks as the continuing tragic news from around the world leaves them with no more bad news of their own to bury., They have resorted to borrowing a few old scandals...

vulture1 09.08.14 4:18pm
Dun Dunkin
NHS prescribes Miranda box sets fot laughing gas victims 1
Adrian Bamforth 09.08.14 3:49pm