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Tokyo wins race to host eight years of 'cynicism'

The International Olympic Committee (IOC) voted overwhelming for the people of Japan to be the 2020 'torch bearers' for world's 'lack of faith or hope' in the human race. The victorious proposal not...

Wrenfoe 08.09.13 4:15pm
Al OPecia
The Oval to be renamed Flushing Meadows after England victory celebration 0
custard cream 08.09.13 4:06pm
custard cream
Prince Andrew asks policeman 'Do you know who I am'. Wishes he hadn't.

More arrogant tosserness soon...

MADJEZ 08.09.13 3:53pm
Children warned name of first pet should contain 8 characters and a digit.

Popular pet names Rover, Cheryl and Kate could be a thing of the past. Banks are now advising parents to think carefully before naming their child's first pet. For security reasons, the chosen name...

Boutros 08.09.13 1:57pm
Ian Collier
Phil Spencer tells house sellers to clean up their shambolic shitholes

Channel 4's Secret Agent Phil Spencer told the nation's house sellers yesterday to clean up their shambolic shitholes. In a surprise outburst, he broke cover to tell lazy homeowners that a clean up...

Sfox 08.09.13 1:51pm
Prince Andrew criminal empire foiled in Buckingham Palace garden bust

The Duke of York Prince Andrew is facing a series of difficult questions under police caution today following his arrest in a dramatic police hunt that ended in his capture in the gardens of...

Jesus H 08.09.13 1:10pm
Jesus H
Prince shocked as police draw weapons, claims, 'I can get you better than that'. 0
topfotogmw 08.09.13 11:37am
Madrid “devastated” at failure to secure Tokyo Olympics

The mayor of Madrid , Ancora Smitto confessed the city was “saddened” by its failure to win the bid to stage the Tokyo Olympics. “We have a huge infrastructure in place, brilliant transport...

CulchaVulcha 08.09.13 11:23am
Diane Abbott bemused by cheering crowds as she boards Quantas plane at Heathrow. 1
FOAD 08.09.13 10:36am
Man's Abduction By Aliens Described As "Fantastic!" - 2

See what I did there? [i]Now[/i] will wtiters, journaists and commentators stop continually using that stupid, overworked and inaccurate word to describe anything which they are impressed by, and...

Titus 08.09.13 10:34am
Top Lib Dem quits in protest over making party colour "slightly less orange"

Former Lib Dem Minister Sarah Teather has resigned from the party, citing “disappointment” at the party’s decision to make its official colour less intensely orange and “a tiny bit...

nickb 08.09.13 10:07am
Galilee Health Trust: "It's a miracle loaves and fishes stunt made nobody ill" 6
sydalg 08.09.13 9:25am
New case protects your smartphone's protective case 2
Dumbnews 08.09.13 9:21am
Obama urges military intervention in BBC civil war

"We cannot stand idly by and watch this great institution destroy itself," the US president told the G20 summit yesterday. "General John Patten must not let his lust for glory create mayhem, and on...

nickb 08.09.13 9:10am
Prince Andrew Denies Calling Met Police Officers "Plebs" In Palace Gun Incident

Titus 08.09.13 9:06am
Friends pay tribute to man who set out for fancy dress party in badger costume 7
sydalg 08.09.13 8:18am
Ed Miliband to pursue X factor boy band dream 0
simonjmr 08.09.13 7:48am
Internet addiction clinic now offers treatment online 8
Dumbnews 08.09.13 6:01am
Legislation to Curb Personal Emissions in San Francisco

San Francisco supervisor will introduce landmark legislation today that he says will be key in curbing greenhouse emissions and protecting the environment for future generations. The recent proposal...

molluskflight 08.09.13 3:32am
Psycadelic Squirrel
Deadline for next Neat-O judge's acceptance speech is today 0
Arthur 08.09.13 3:13am
Damascus wins 2020 Olympics

More to follow...

apepper 07.09.13 9:44pm
Dismay From Syrian Interventionists As West Suffers 'Agression Fatigue' 5
Titus 07.09.13 9:25pm
Lens Cap
Daily Express Print Halted By Dither Over Miracle Pill / Diana Headline Choice 0
Titus 07.09.13 9:23pm
Tokio Wins Olympic Bid Despite 16,000 Tsunami Deaths

although it had been put in doubt by paranoia about damaged nuclear stations which have killed er well, no-one actually, much to the disappointment of the BBC in particular...

Titus 07.09.13 9:20pm
Shock as Daily Express has no mention of a miracle cure or Princess Diana

Media analysts up and down the country are reeling at an edition of the Daily Express that mentions neither a cure for cancer, heart disease or arthritis nor Princess Diana. "I'm frankly...

apepper 07.09.13 8:30pm
X-Factor morons introduced to announcers and contestents 0
antharrison 07.09.13 7:57pm
Safety Experts Baffled By 100-Car Motorway Pile Up

"We have been trying to explain to motorists for years that all accidents are caused drivers breaking speed limits" said a road safety expert "And that it is extremely dangerous as well as illegal...

Titus 07.09.13 7:46pm
Paddy Berzinski
New medical treatment heals pain from paying costly medical bills 0
Dumbnews 07.09.13 7:01pm
Rupert Murdoch leads party to Australia election landslide win


GordonChen 07.09.13 5:02pm
Beverly Hills prepares flood defences after Halle Berry tipped for Oscar 0
Squudge 07.09.13 3:21pm