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New Bundesliga team Möbius United unveil strip 0
DorsetBoy 3 years

<insert other football/mathematical puns here>...

"Halfwitz is our national tragedy" admits Tory MP 0
Username 3 years
Depressed mathematician proves Möbius strip has no funny side. 0
Username 3 years

.. hattip to JohnA...

6000 years of Merkel cult? 0
Username 3 years

"With a curvaceous figure and short stubby arms, the discovery of a 6,000-year-old earth mother in France shows "...

Health and safety demands of looters finally being met 0
Username 3 years

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2072683/Sony-OLED-Flat-screen-TV-rolled-pocket.html Good start, but there must be hundreds of innovative technologies and operational improvement...

'Too soon to rule out modelling as next career' reveals top cop Hogan-Howes 0
Username 3 years

.. [would be a shame to waste this as a ticker] 'I'd love to be a detective - that would be my dream job - and autopsies, anything about that. I'd like to go to a murder scene and try to work out...

von Clegg... 0
Username 3 years

is the punchline of tomorrow's ticker. How did it go again?...

Little Mix thrown back as 'undersize' under European 'good taste' guidelines 0
Username 3 years
"August Ferdinand Möbius couldn't see the funny side" says biographer 1
JohnA 3 years

Yes, NB is going to shirt. Deal with it...

Irish Dwarf band 'Little Micks' conquer X-Factor final. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

More soon, begorra.. http://getfile9.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/temp-2011-11-17/CimAyvilJHveaqkyCsDGvlvteoBstvvejHGjizctrhCjGbFcAkHHjluueney/lepreachuans-jh-01.jpg.scaled500.jpg...

Climate Change conference ends in success as snow fails to fall in Durban 0
JohnA 3 years

Al Gore failed to show up...

Clegg preparing for life as "Political Pygmy" after next election 0
MT Bucket 3 years
Global warming 2
Username 3 years

.. Want to write a one-liner with the (implied) punchline that Nigella Lawson is hotter than Nigel Lawson, but can't get it started. Any suggestions?...

Man sues Sainsburys when Bag For Life fails to save dying wife 4
brownpaperreporter 3 years

“Im not a first aider but isn’t that what it is supposed to do?” asks Mr Saddler, whose wife passed away in Mitcham Sainsburys on Saturday. “Clearly says “Bag for life” on it, but the...

Controversy as London Mathematical Society launches Möbius Strip club 9
pinxit 3 years
Eau de Pickles decared a "Retail flop" 0
antharrison 3 years

Communities minister Eric Pickles was said to be "Disappointed" that the expensive perfume that bears his name has not sold as well as predicted in the run-up to Christmas. "We were hoping to sell...

Climate change talks slammed as "Just so much hot air!" 0
dvo4fun 3 years
Cameron veto's tide, silly Cnut. 0
reforse 3 years
Eric Pickles to tackle Britiain's "problem families" by eating them. 0
MT Bucket 3 years
Huhne compares Coalition to "a marriage" and asks Hague to take his points 0
MT Bucket 3 years
Lib Dems to mount 'dirty protest' over Euro fiasco in next Cabinet meeting 0
MT Bucket 3 years
Opposition to shop worktop census grows in counter counter counter move 0
apepper 3 years

More confusion to follow...

Protuberance in Clegg's trousers could be emerging cojones 0
Drylaw 3 years
MotD's Alan Hansen explodes while explaining how a foul really can be 'cynical'. 0
dvo4fun 3 years

More (language distortion) later...

Nicolas Sarkozy Sucked up by Belgian Road Sweeping Truck 0
TheHaddock 3 years

Sarkozy get's Sucked off! The French President was reported missing at 15.10pm this afternoon after popping out to deface a Mini parked near his hotel which had a Union Jack roof. He later...

Cockerels, Snails and Croissants Banned from Britain 0
TheHaddock 3 years

Cameron Suggests we should get our Cocks out! A furious and stroppy David Cameron phoned the Ministry of Agriculture last night and swore for half an hour, he then signed off by demanding that all...

Queen gutted at canal holiday to mark Jubilee. 'Barbados would have been nice !' 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Clegg given permission by Cameron to disagree - but only once 0
Sinnick 3 years
Tories refuse to buy pram for Nick Clegg to throw toys out of 0
nickb 3 years
Wounded knight says armour "not his strongest suit" 0
Nick McCarr 3 years