The NewsBiscuit Writers' Room
Everything on these pages has been submitted by readers of the site and appears here unedited. Potential front page stories as well as one-liners for the ticker bar are welcome, so if you would like to write for NewsBiscuit please post your article on this submission board and then attempt to give yourself maximum votes over and over again. The most prolific and successful contributors will be considered for the coveted title of 'Writer of the Month'.
|Topic — Add New »||Comments||Votes||Author||Freshness|
|First Martian discovered sues Curiosity driver for whiplash||0||
The first ever life form to be discovered on Mars has filed a personal injury claim against the driver of the Curiosity rover vehicle. 'I was driving along, minding my own business, when I was hit...
|Olympic specatators shocked by attire of non-volleyball players||1||
|Film director's death result of trying to copy violent action movies.||2||
The recent tragic death of a Hollywood film director is being blamed on trying to copy scenes from action movies. The unbelievable stunts in films such as Top Gun, Beverly Hills Cops 2, Enemy of the...
|Police suspicious as boxes of Transylvanian dirt delivered to Ecuadorian Embassy||4||
Whitby prepares for a late night sailing...
|Mel and Sue to present actors career retrospective - The Great British Berkoff||0||
|Harry pots the pink||0||
then the brown...
|Florence devastated as the Machine fails PAT test. More soon.||3||
|Quango now rarer than urban fox as 100 more found axed in Whitehall.||0||
|“Palm D’Infatigability” award scooped by Assange||1||
Actor Julian Assange has declared himself “pleased, but not surprised”, on becoming only the second man in history to have been saluted for indefatigability by the prestigious “Institute Du...
|Leeds v Wolves - I don't know much about soccer, but what next?||0||
Leeds v Wolves (last Saturday) I don't know much about soccer, but what next, players from all species, teams of Bears, Lions, where will it all end?...
|Rape downgraded to "canola". More soon.||1||
|Mr McGregor being tormented by thieving bastard rabbits||3||
Archibald McGregor, a hard-working 78-year-old pensioner living in a small village in Lancashire, has been brought to the verge of a nervous breakdown by thefts from the vegetable garden he relies...
|Jane Austen 'not that good' says expert||8||
It would seem that generations of bored A level English students have been proved right, as a respected scholar has reached the conclusion that Jane Austen was actually rubbish. Professor Stanley...
|NHS trademarks "MRSA" brand in order to capitalise on lucrative foreign markets||0||
|Bradford Royal Infirmary announce 80% increase in Knocked-Up Syndrome||0||
|Mars Rover clamped as over zealous parking attendant seeks to meet quota||0||
|Olympic legacy boost as London awarded 2012 Paralympic Games||0||
||custard cream||3 years|
"I said there would be an Olympic legacy," said Lord Seb of Coe...
|Lifelong Eastbourne resident||0||
||De-spair tyre||3 years|
George Slanders 89 has been attacked for the secound time in two months on Eastbourne beach,George recently released from a short stay in Rampton mental hospital had this to say.Its disgusting,I...
|Julian Assange pleads innocents on new Dicki-Leaks web site.||2||
|Yes is always yes, explains George Galloway||2||
||Miss Hegas||3 years|
Yes is always yes, explains our new advice columnist, Agony Uncle George. So when you say, 'yes, dear, of course I love you,' that will always be the case. So says 4-times married Uncle George....
|Statue of Richard Herring to be erected in Edinburgh [Future Biscuit]||0||
Yorkshire born Richard Herring is to be commemorated with a statue near the Underbelly venue, commissioned by Countess Burdett-Coutts. Richard was accustomed to visiting Edinburgh every year, but...
|Assange launches range of alarm cocks||2||
|Galloway : Failing to clean teeth before morning sex is not rape.||0||
|New SI unit discovered: nandoseconds. The time it takes to eat more chicken.||0||
More to follow...
|Assange expelled from Embassy as CCTV shows him abusing ambassador's hospitality||0||
|Commando units complain about not being allowed to enter Parralympics||0||
|Chinese judge clarifies; 'Suspended death sentence' actually means hanging||5||
|Galloway ignores calls to withdraw||0||
|Senior Catholics explain opposition to same sex marriage||0||
"If sex is always the same in a marriage, then it puts the holy sacrament of marriage in danger. So married people have a duty to dress up in turquoise latex, use knobbly battery driven equipment...
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