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BAE Announces 1,775 Shipyard job losses

A case of, Up shit creek without a proverbial!...

0
vanhellsink 06.11.13 3:09pm
vanhellsink
Hundreds of pictures “looted” from year two discovered by teacher of year five

They are some of the most treasured artworks ever to have been created. Take Cheryl Smythe’s “banch of FlOwaS” (sic). Described by dealers as “Acrylic on sugar paper” the vibrant and...

9
nickb 06.11.13 3:03pm
nickb
Newsbiscuit backstage tour “could close” after homophobia row.

“We just wanted to say in a harmless and funny way that gay women chew carpets and have moustaches!” said a seasoned Newsbiscuiteer, one of the many behind-the-scenes folk who work tirelessly to...

2
CulchaVulcha 06.11.13 2:50pm
nickb
By 2037 William Hartnell will be the best Doctor Who

With the UK's over 80's set to double and centenarians to 'increase five-fold', in just over twenty years William Hartnell will eclipse all others as the nation's favourite Time Lord. The Office for...

0
Wrenfoe 06.11.13 1:47pm
Wrenfoe
Man with time on his hands makes meaningless post. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 06.11.13 1:19pm
Al OPecia
That Microsoft cyber-attack software fix in full

* Microsoft Office fix Computer = rubbish;, Software = rubbish;, command = STOP paying for software which allows hackers to steal your money;, action = throw them away;, action = buy Apple...

0
John Wiltshire 06.11.13 12:47pm
John Wiltshire
Super Mario fails to catch online predators

Despite the recent success of Terre des Hommes 'Sweetie' avatar, Nintendo were forced to concede that hirsute plumbers are unlikely to be an effective ‘honey trap’ for internet paedophiles....

4
Wrenfoe 06.11.13 12:18pm
Dick Everyman
Eric Pickles cast as Jabba the Hutt in new Star Wars movie

Walt Disney Films revealed today that following an open casting session in Whitehall that they have successfully filled a number of roles for the forthcoming movie Star Wars VII. Communities and...

3
cinnahmon 06.11.13 12:15pm
Al OPecia
Captain Philomena

The true story of skipper of the US-flagged MV Meerkat Alexandar, a world-weary political journalist hijacked in 2009 who picks up the story of a woman's search for her son, a Somali pirate who was...

1
Ian Searle 06.11.13 10:18am
Dick Everyman
Cunning Plan: It's Actually Cheaper To Pay The Indians To Launch Mars Mission 1
Titus 06.11.13 10:11am
Dick Everyman
Poltergeist activity in glue factory put down to high spirits. 4
sredni vashta 06.11.13 10:09am
Dick Everyman
Toronto shocked to discover mayor is fat ugly f***er..

Never mind the crack smoking http://gangoffour.ca/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/robford.jpg...

1
MADJEZ 06.11.13 10:08am
Dick Everyman
‘Take the kids to Cash Converter day’ destined to become new Xmas tradition... 2
Tripod 06.11.13 10:06am
Dick Everyman
Spoof Ofsted proposal to begin education at 2 NOT a spoof - Honest

more soon http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/10425343/Schools-should-admit-children-at-two-says-Ofsted-chief.html...

16
blokefromstoke 06.11.13 9:21am
Titus
Govesworth he sa GCSEs to become tougher, chiz - 2

Michael Govesworth, a former pupil at St Custards skool somewhere in England who is now the educashun secretary, hav put forward some proposals to mak GCSEs harder. This will mean grading from 8 to 1...

33
Oxbridge 05.11.13 11:27pm
Titus
Failed Would-Be Politician Opens A New, Nice, Spoof News Website "NewsBun"

Following complaints that some spoof news websites had upset people by publishing news stories which were controversial, upsetting, annoying, offensive, outrageous, inaccurate and sometimes slightly...

1
Titus 05.11.13 10:50pm
Titus
Newsbiscuit fans get preview of Radio 4s Now Show by reading ... Newsbiscuit. 10
MADJEZ 05.11.13 9:53pm
Titus
Louise Mensch Explodes

Police sources in New York City have confirmed that Conservative commentator Louise Mensch exploded in a midtown Manhattan Restaurant 4pm yesterday, local time. Attending the scene, Office Bernie...

18
blokefromstoke 05.11.13 8:59pm
blokefromstoke
RSPB launches 2013 winter campaign - 'Won't somebody think of the chilled wren?' 11
Idiot 05.11.13 8:15pm
sillybugger
Van Klomp's Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies found in Munich Nazi trove

News from Munich, where special art historian Otto Buchloh is overjoyed to have found a perfectly preserved original, by Dutch painter Van Klomp, hidden inside a giant Knackwurst sausage. Thought to...

2
theinvisiblecitychannels 05.11.13 8:03pm
sillybugger
Cow jumping over the moon halts Indian space mission

OK, there's loads of Indian mars shot gags on here already but hey who cares...

0
Mandy Lifeboat 05.11.13 6:59pm
Mandy Lifeboat
.......It ain't 'alf hot Mum!

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford admits smoking crack,that'll teach him to wear Polyester underpants!...

0
vanhellsink 05.11.13 6:44pm
vanhellsink
Indian space mission set to end Indian poverty

Upper caste Indians are hailing today’s launch of a mission to Mars as a big step towards eradicating poverty in the country. Prime Minister Manmohan Singh proclaimed ‘We are sure that the £45...

4
ianslat 05.11.13 6:41pm
Al OPecia
EU Bid to Ban Guy Fawkes Night 'Clearly A European Catholic Plot' 0
Titus 05.11.13 6:14pm
Titus
Success of Indian launch attributed to technology glitch 0
Dumbnews 05.11.13 6:06pm
Dumbnews
Martians Anticipate Inaugural Takeaway...

More soon....

0
misterjingles 05.11.13 6:06pm
misterjingles
Man looking forward to marriage so he can join Ashley Madison 0
Dumbnews 05.11.13 6:04pm
Dumbnews
Eddie Mair applies for Paxman's job 0
medici2471 05.11.13 5:53pm
medici2471
India launches space mission to Mars(ala) 1
custard cream 05.11.13 5:48pm
irreverendJ
Kumars on Mars to replace Kumars at 42 0
nickb 05.11.13 4:55pm
nickb