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Ship's officer denies "elusive" accusations 7
Scroat 3 years

"I don't know what all the fuss is about," Boatswain Higgs said today...

Dale Farm travellers take over Wimbledon. Offered out of court settlement. 3
weematt 3 years
CERN's Large Hadron Collider admits defeat in search for Tulisa sex tape 0
cinquecento 3 years
Microsoft injunction stops Queen unveiling Jubilee Windows at Parliament 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Muamba doctors grateful for prayers. 14
Haywood Manley 3 years

"Medical expertise alone would not have saved him," says cardiologist...

HS3 set to explode across the London skyline 3
dvo4fun 3 years

The highly popular HS2 London-Manchester high-speed rail-link, widely considered punishment of rural voters for not delivering an overall Tory majority, has finished its consultation phase. However,...

Budget Latest: State Pensions to be Linked To Chart Position of N*Dubz 2
thisisall1word 3 years

The coalition government have announced that state pensions will no longer be linked to earnings but will instead follow the street-pop fortunes of the band N*Dubz as played out in their placings...

Narnia claims sovereignty over the wardrobe. 0
Ian Searle 3 years

Sean Penn has spoken out in their support...

Dennis Waterman to host a new dating show on ITV, "Knock me out!". 0
Ian Searle 3 years

"No fighty, no likey"...

Slip of the tongue sees Queen dedicate herself to the United Arab Emirates 0
ianslat 3 years

The Queen was left red-faced earlier today as she accidentally dedicated herself to the United Arab Emirates in her Diamond Jubilee speech to the Houses of Parliament. ‘We’re honoured’ said...

NHS to recruit US hairdressers as cancer consultants 0
weematt 3 years

Following reports from the USA that hairdressers are well placed to spot and report early skin cancers the head of the NHS Latest Fads has recommended that American hairdressers be recruited and...

Fabrice Muamba update: Now playing piano and solving advanced calculus problems. 1
grottymonty 3 years

More miraculous improvements later...

Budget News: Defence spending cuts - Corporals to be privatised. 2
weematt 3 years

Rt Hon Philip Hammond MP announced today that the rank of corporal in all its forms is to be eliminated and the ranks of sergeant and above will handle their own privates in future. "Not also do we...

Boost for hassock makers as Vatican recommends better support for abuse victims 0
cinquecento 3 years
View from the Mound - a hot lesbian's take on today's world news (3/17 edition) 5
SugarTits69 3 years

Greetings lesbians! (And friends of lesbians!) What can I say? There's no excuse for the massive yawning gap between my posts, but I hope you'll understand when I tell you that me and my superhot...

Vince Cable delighted to be chosen for Buenos Aires leg of Olympic torch relay 0
ianslat 3 years
Man plunges to earth in cloud computing mishap 3
weematt 3 years

A recently qualified software developer fell to his death during what was his first solo cloud computing session. It is understood that he had recently passed all the tests required to obtain a cloud...

Road Privatisation begins as M60 Junction 7 is signposted "For Sale". 1
seymour totti 3 years
China's phone network crashes. Dumb SIMs to blame 1
weematt 3 years
Schoolchildren complain after field trip turns out to be trip to field 1
Stan 3 years
Barry Humphries retires Dame Edna: "I didn't want the act to drag on any more" 0
simonjmr 3 years
Muamba to quit professional football - claims his heart isn't in it. 0
bonjonelson 3 years

Just to divert the flack from roybland for a while!...

Olympic torch route to become one massive toll road. 0
Boutros 3 years

Olympic torch bearers were shocked and disgusted to discover the high cost of their participation when every road along the route becomes a toll road for the duration of the event. "I was looking...

Affable Stoner Hedge Fund Corners World Markets in Pickled Onion Monster Munch 0
thisisall1word 3 years
FILTHY RICH! Toffs found to have large carbon footprints 0
weematt 3 years
Relaxation of Sunday trading law builds on 'late-night opening' riots of 2011 3
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years

Chancellor George Osborne has announced plans for shops to open longer during the Olympics. In an interview on the Andrew Marr show he said: "last summer we saw a huge demand for late night shopping...

Muamba sits up, waves imaginary red card 0
Drylaw 3 years
Road to Hell to be privatised. 0
Ian Searle 3 years

As price of 'good intentions' paving stones rises...

President calling for less tolerant society horrified by less tolerant society 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Olympic torch relay to visit Buncefield oil storage terminal ... 1
Kramaring 3 years

no more soon...