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St Paul's protestor complains there's nowhere to plug in her straighteners. 1
dominic_mcg 3 years
Dean of St Paul's resigns as his position becomes untentable 2
medici2471 3 years
St Paul resigns 5
apepper 3 years

In a shock development, first century saint, Paul (AKA Saul Tarsus), has resigned. "I've been thinking about it for some time.", explained the saint via a schoolgirl's dream and a face in a puddle,...

Police station steps to become more dangerous 7
nickb 3 years

Accidental falls down police station steps are set to rise, as health and safety regulations in the force are eased. Falling down stairs in police custody reached a high in the 1980’s, as the...

Female royals allowed to inherit male baldness under new law. 0
nickb 3 years
"Labour has left us with a 'Fine mess'" says Cameron 5
dvo4fun 3 years

Up to £25 per week in Court fines will be deducted from offenders' Benefits; the government's swift response to the summer rioting, due to come swiftly into effect, sometime in late 2013. Speaking...

Poundland wins Unesco seat vote 0
apepper 3 years

Unesco has granted Poundland a vote. This is seen as the first step towards full recognition as a country. The move has been opposed by 99p Land; "They think they're up market, but 99p Land is...

7 billion people 'probably all claiming benefits in the UK' - Daily Mail 5
ianslat 3 years
Health conscious trick-or-treaters demand candy be organic 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Self-immolation branded unenvironmentally friendly protest suicide method 3
Ironduke 3 years

When budhist nun Tanzin Wangmo doused herself in petrol in a busy Tibetan market square and set herself alight, it was the last straw for watching concerned environmentalist Fortescue Alstruther....

Palestinians get EuroVision Song Contest vote 0
Perks 3 years

The people of Palestine are to get a vote in the EuroVision song contest. The move has been critised by many other countries, fearing they will only ever give twelve points to their friends and...

“I’d probably bang Bale” admits Warnock 0
Tim Collins 3 years

Self-proclaimed football manager Neil Warnock said Sunday that he received an incredible amount of sexual satisfaction from watching opponents score goals against his Queens Park Rangers team and...

Average wait for adoption now 86 years; "we have to be cautious" 0
apepper 3 years

Local authorities have attracted criticism about the length of time required to process adoption. "It's diabolical.", said Mr X, who is waiting for his adoption request to be completed. "The...

Offenders whose benefits are cut 'could start robbing' says expert 2
roybland 3 years

Government plans to dock £25 a week from benefit claimants who pay fines could encourage them to turn to robbery, according to some experts.,  , Eight-year-old Amanda Stone explained:,  , 'Say...

Cox pussy snatch tale comes to satisfying climax 1
medici2471 3 years
Male pattern baldness surges - World on verge of new recession 0
button 3 years
Sporting world shocked as Baseball World series won by an American team 3
virtuallywill 3 years

Rounders later...

F1 rebels against clocks going back - hour head start "only way to pass Vettel" 0
butagirl 3 years
Saville's last words: Bye then, bye then, ahahahahahahahahah. 0
martin2381 3 years
Hamilton unable to pee with Button next to him. Jealous of power. More Soon 0
martin2381 3 years
Npower blames energy price hikes on increased Ofgem fines 0
greg various 3 years
McDonalds to take over UK Adoption Agency. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall in uproar...

Savile Death a Giant Hoax: Home Secretary 0
Drylaw 3 years

Home Secretary Theresa May spoke out last night on a special Public Information Broadcast which cut into all UK TV channels. "Good evening. I have to tell you that our nation has been the victim of...

Confused technophobe spends half an hour phoning lost slippers 6
Clarky 3 years

A 49-year-old Wantage woman, who has had the same Motorola Razr flip-phone since 2004, spent 27 minutes recently, trying to locate her missing bedroom slippers by phoning them. ‘I rang a number...

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vertical 3 years
X factor loses direction as contestants need help getting from A to B 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Men now 'only good for one thing' claims institute of evolution 9
Screenie 3 years

At just after eight yesterday afternoon Miss Annabel Walker, with only the support and guidance of her mother over the telephone, expertly pulled off the classic pint glass and envelope technique to...

Proposed new Viagra research program put in the too-hard basket 0
DorsetBoy 3 years
Jaded stripper says it's all "tit for tat" 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Rick Santorum Caught Shoplifting, Blames Gays, Google 1
Textbook 3 years