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Tony Blair lands role as Michael Sheen in new Biopic 0
Mr_Johno 3 years

In a press release earlier today Warner Brothers confirmed the long speculated rumour that Tony Blair had landed the lead part in a new biopic about the life of actor Michael Sheen. At a press...

Churchill the dog treated for depression over constant accusations of lying 1
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

A source close to the nodding bulldog from Churchill insurance’s adverts has revealed that the iconic star has checked into a clinic to deal with severe depression. The condition is believed to...

Conan the Librarian Cert 18 1
Family Guy 3 years

A dark disturbing thriller about a body building,sword waving bisexual librarian,suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder.Brilliant a must see., ...

Cache of flint weapons ‘stashed by gangs for future riots’ claims Sky reporter 0
jp1885 3 years

A recently unearthed hoard of prehistoric flint arrow heads and axes had been secretly stored by a criminal gang of youths in anticipation of further rioting in the nation’s capital, Sky News...

"Flashmobs gone wrong, main cause of UK riots" say Government 0
simonjmr 3 years

Ken Clarke today has called for the immediate banning of "Flashmobs" as he has prove that they are directly linked to the cause of the recent UK riots. Writing in Fascism Today , he said the...

Alternative Cliche Hunt Begins as Forth Bridge paintathon concludes. 9
f0zz 3 years

Scottish parliament sounded the death knell of tiresome task metaphors this week as the cushiest number in contracting finally came to a tacky end. Patrons of the bridge had a belated epiphany, after...

Tim Cook Announces Iphone6 3
Textbook 3 years

In a bold move, newly appointed Apple chief Tim Cook today announced that the hotly rumoured iphone5 was in fact the iphone6. "It was developed as the iphone5 but towards the end of the development...

Edinburgh University introduces staggering fees. 5
Boutros 3 years

Students attending the Scottish university were shocked to learn they could soon be paying as much as £9,000 a year in fines if found 'straying left and right', 'wandering about aimlessly', or...

Arthur Scargill is Carol Thatcher's secret godfather 3
antharrison 3 years

Following revelations that Tony Blair is godfather to Rupert Murdoch's daughter Christina, it has been revealed that former prime minister Margaret Thatcher was successful in her efforts to persuade...

Scottish Tories chose name for new party: New Labour 0
arnied 3 years
New Zealand Unveils New Rugby World Cup Slogan 0
Textbook 3 years

"Yes, people still play it."...

Free schools made of Lego easily dismantled when policy changes next year 2
dvo4fun 3 years
Worlds oldest woman reveals secret to longievity 6
gaijintendo 3 years

1. Not being in serious accidents, 2. Cooking with olive oil, and not engine oil, 3. Drinking excessive amounts of alcohol over a prolonged period rather than binge drinking., 4. Driving a Volvo,...

Google plan major re-launch of Google+ 0
Dumbnews 3 years

Whatever happened to all the hype around this? Surely there is a good joke somewhere...

World Record Brussel Sprouts Demand on Christmas Day May Cause World Shortage 0
Plantarian 3 years

Uber-Vegetarian Paul McCartney has denied ordering staff at his homes in the UK and USA to stockpile Brussel Sprouts for his family to eat this christmas following fears of a world shortage caused by...

Milky Bar Kid "responsible for obesity crisis". 5
nickb 3 years

He was strong and tough, and only the best was good enough, but now The Milky Bar Kid faces widespread condemnation for singlehandedly kicking off what experts say could be a crisis of epidemic...

Martin Handford admits he never actually put Wally in any of those pictures. 2
Ian Searle 3 years
Blair Is Made An Offer He Can't Refuse 0
Duff 3 years

Veteran film director Francis Ford Coppolla is to remake the Godfather trilogy and this time round the mumbling Don is to be played by none other than former Prime Minister, Tony Blair. Speaking...

20yrs on, Celebrity UrnWatch confirms: Quality of Mercury Not Strained. 0
f0zz 3 years
Woman considered 'unlucky in love' revealed to be irritating insensitive cow 1
dicky37 3 years

[More soon..]...

Forth Bridge painting finishes & floral wallpapering starts for a fresh new look 0
charlies_hat 3 years

apparently Mrs Forth never liked that paint colour anyway...

David Walliams released back into River Thames 3
Erlang 3 years

David Walliams who washed ashore off the Isle of Dogs last Summer has been released back in to River Thames. Walliams arrival stunned naturalists who beleive his navigation was affected by the El...

Bright Dogs; assistance for 'dull' students 3
dvo4fun 3 years

A groundbreaking new partnership, between Mensa and the Department for Education, will introduce an assistance dog scheme for educationally challenged students, who find it difficult to obtain paid...

Gaddafi's sons, who vowed never to surrender have run away 0
virtuallywill 3 years

faster. later...

Snowdon driver forgiven as he comes from Cheltenham. 0
Ostsee 3 years
Rory Bremmer set to win Strictly by doing Anton du Beke impression. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Tram U-turn 'not actually possible', engineers point out 13
rickwestwell 3 years
Gordon Brown could tell Appropriate Adult where he buried the British economy 2
ronseal 3 years
Silence of the Organic Lambs 1
Glib Hemingway 3 years

People who say they like people watching either love observing the social condition or they’re cannibals. People who like to watch what they eat. People who spend a lot time following others around...

Gaddafi suspected of false reviews on Tripoli Advisor 1
fernandomando 3 years