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No cash for steel, only bankers, says son of banking family, also Prime Minister 3
la maga 2 years
Go out with a bang, advises old television to youngsters; flatscreens roll eyes 1
la maga 2 years
Pope cancels visit after Cameron's "does he shit in the woods" gaffe. 2
the coarse whisperer 2 years
M6 lanes to be widened to allow drivers to avoid potholes 1
gaijintendo 2 years

"We believe this will increase the overall safety of drivers using the road". The 140 million pound scheme is expected to save 2 million pounds a year in pothole repairs...
Man With Degree in Media Studies Solves Life's Mystery 1
afternoonslow 2 years

Most regrettably, when it came to writing it up, he couldn't get the first line right, and drank at bottle of whisky., First line came., Couldn't for the life of him remember the rest., Life sails...
Dutch leave Afghanistan, Taliban smirk: 'We knew you couldn't handle mountains' 0
la maga 2 years
Crossing your legs could pose a health risk 1
theumpire 2 years

Crossing your legs could pose a health risk, according to a medical report released earlier this year. Sitting with the legs crossed hampers the flow of blood in the legs and could cause problems...
Authorities in Japan are surprised when they try to congatulate a man 2
arrghgarry 2 years

becoming the oldest man in Japan turning 111 ,it appears he was ill (very) not 111 he had died 30 years previous...
Government outsources entire benefits system to the Taliban 1
la maga 2 years

In a bid to both discourage bogus benefits claimants and increase legitimate employment opportunities for Afghan militants, the government is to outsource jobcentres and the benefits system to the...
Jaqui Smith applies for 77K job at the BBC boasting her vast experience 0
arrghgarry 2 years

of fiddling expenses ,I am a team player and I am sure that I can show the BBC board a thing or two about fiddling expenses .I am sure I will fit in well with this group of idle ,well connected...
Pamplona to host next year's Love Parade. 0
the coarse whisperer 2 years
Anything-I-happen-not-to-like-phobia makes it into the DSM V. 0
the coarse whisperer 2 years
After Ronaldo Cristiano`s gains complete custody of his first child 0
arrghgarry 2 years

he denies that he is the New Michael Jackson ,Mark Lester did mention that he gave Ronaldo a bit of spunk once ,and should Ronaldo ask "any more " he would be willing to step up to the plate or dish...
Daily Mail readers vote Nick Clegg 'Personality of the Year' 0
PluckyMunky 2 years

Gloria Bartram, writing for the Mail, says, 'there is no doubt that Nick has left an indelible mark on the fabric that is British Society.'...
Man spends a day at work down the sewer to raise money for BBC Luvvies in Need 0
StoopyDeGunt 2 years

The British public has risen to the challenge of raising money for the BBC Luvvies in Need appeal, raising £145 each in an endless variety of zany way., Bob Jones, from Croydon, spent the entire...
X-Factor's Joe McElderry…Gay my arse ! 1
BlackAndroid 2 years

Cliff Richards speaking from his Barbados mansion today hit out in anger at yet another gay acting straight man trying to steal the limelight. Sir Cliff ranted “That little shyster is about as gay...
Dame Judi to be next Queen Mum? 0
euanc 2 years

Sources close to the palace reveal that the Grande Dame of British Theatre, Dame Judi Dench, is being strongly tipped to take on the vacant role of Queen Mother. "Her regal presence and enthusiasm...
Israeli President accuses English of anti-Semitism 0
ramblesnake 2 years

and always favouring the wogs...
West Ham ease financial crisis by selling 12,000 fans. 5
bonjonelson 2 years

In a unexpected move, the management of West Ham United have announced they have taken advantage of this summer's transfer window to sell up to 12,000 of their fans to rival clubs. Management hope...
Blue Peter's Zombie Watch critcised by Parent-Teacher Associations. 1
bonjonelson 2 years

BBC Childrens' programme Blue Peter has come under fire today from the National Association of Parent-Teacher Associations for this year's "Zombie Watch", where children are being encouraged to go...
Lyn Barber claims to have slept with 50 men during two terms 3
arrghgarry 2 years

meanwhile 50 men are having traumatic recall symptoms...
Ministry of Justice Cuts Possession to Seven Tenths of the Law 2
mugwump 2 years

Ministry of Justice Cuts Possession to Seven Tenths of the Law...
Government spokesman insists 'Fat Cunts' moniker for obese is not demeaning. 7
The Return of DroleNoel 2 years

Much more soon...
Cameron to introduce new Poor Law Bill 1
PluckyMunky 2 years

Similar to the 1834 Poor Law Act, it will address the following issues:, * reduce the cost of looking after the poor, * take beggars off the streets, * encourage poor people to work...
Tai chi 'just very slow P.E.' admits leading guru. More soon. 2
malgor 2 years
Obama diverts troops from Iraq to secure Clinton's NY wedding 0
Dumbnews 2 years
Cameron and Clegg admit 'doing tongues' at royal reception 0
PluckyMunky 2 years

'I've had better', says Cameron...
Hot cakes not actually selling that fast 0
Oxbridge 2 years
Ryanair to charge you for queueing...... 0
SilverWinterSky 2 years

Ryanair announced today its intention to charge "by the minute" for the use of its check-in queues. A spokesman said "We think this is a logical extension of our pricing model and will help...
Huntley "should not sue" - victims groups appeal to his better nature 0
Izziere 2 years

According to the BBC, "victims' groups have said that Soham killer Ian Huntley "should not sue" over jail attack." Campaigners have made an appeal to the paedophiliac child killer's better nature in...