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Persecuted Schoolchild Abmits "They Stop If I Scream 'Bully!' "

Can't be any worse than the many other contived Neat-O puns here...

Titus 02.07.13 6:27pm
Welsh Assembly announces increase in the size of Wales

The welsh assembly, fed up with Wales being used as a diminutive measurement of area, has decided to expand by 30%. Conventionally this would be done by invading a neighbouring country, but being a...

rogerg 02.07.13 6:07pm
Xmas offer - prostitute offers discount on Crimbo lays

(Gets coat)...

Smart Alex 02.07.13 5:53pm
Morsi calms Egyptian protesters through the medium of dance. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 02.07.13 5:49pm
Syria, Somalia And N Korea Upset That Snowden Has Not Yet Requested Asylum There 3
Titus 02.07.13 5:22pm
Jesus H
Trendy economist models Pryce tag 0
sydalg 02.07.13 4:52pm
Michael Brûlée fans crème themselves after stunning performance 0
Dick Everyman 02.07.13 3:31pm
Dick Everyman
Disappointed date rapist contacts trading standards after Rose Hip Oil purchase 0
Dick Everyman 02.07.13 3:18pm
Dick Everyman
Isle of Wight gears up for digital Morse code 0
sydalg 02.07.13 2:54pm
Defeated lemon "not bitter" 0
sydalg 02.07.13 2:54pm
Edward Snowden says Kremlin protection (or Krem-brolly) will prevent extradition 0
NewBiscuit 02.07.13 2:51pm
Comedy writer with attention defici... 3
Lindy Moone 02.07.13 2:48pm
ITV presents An Audience With Mervyn King

ITV's popular 'An Audience With' series will feature the former Bank of England Governor regaling celebrity guests about his decade long career at the Old Lady of Threadneedle Street. Highlights...

custard cream 02.07.13 2:28pm
Clapton, Baker and Bruce to make sweet music on new Cream Blu-Ray 0
Midfield Diamond 02.07.13 1:26pm
Midfield Diamond
Maverick cops now in the majority, says Scotland Yard head of personnel

Scotland Yard has launched a recruitment drive among the happily married community, as the the force has become 'maverick cop heavy'. "There are too many cops pulling stunts, tearing up the rule...

ronseal 02.07.13 1:23pm
Not Amused
Controversial photos taken for new Pirelli calendar <no animals were hurt in the making of this picture>...

Sinnick 02.07.13 1:03pm
Edward Snowden seeks asylum in the USA

Having had his asylum requests rejected by 194 countries, Edward Snowden has asked President Obama if he will let him seek political asylum in the USA, citing the fact that he is being persecuted by...

John Wiltshire 02.07.13 12:53pm
Qu'est que cette, le "Set Square"? Je n'ai pas compris. 5
M Cholet 02.07.13 12:45pm
Not Amused
Glastonberries and creme brulee all the rage at Wimbledon this year 0
Not Amused 02.07.13 12:10pm
Not Amused
Pirelli & F1 agree to stop making tyres from liquorice

Bernie Eccleston has conceded that the move to issue teams with tyres made from liquorice instead of rubber to "make F1 more interesting" has been a PR disaster...

grottymonty 02.07.13 12:01pm
2013 Pirelli calendar withdrawn as models suffer unexpected breast blowouts 0
Nowherefast 02.07.13 11:49am
Police protect chilled transport van from dyslexic mob 0
Not Amused 02.07.13 11:26am
Not Amused
No sighting of Canada in five years prompts fears of extinction 0
cinquecento 02.07.13 10:08am
Mr Falafel 'sick of being asked if he sells falafels'

A Lincoln businessman is considering changing the name of his city centre takeaway just two weeks after first opening its doors to the public, saying he is sick and tired of telling people "about...

Idiot 02.07.13 9:49am
Lindy Moone
Majorette champion glad she gave it a twirl. 0
weematt 02.07.13 9:45am
Dissertation on burnt custard

Neat-O …., Burnt custard, or as they say in France, Crème Brûlée , has not always been a popular desert. Indeed, it did not exist until it was 'discovered' quite by accident in a French kitchen...

weematt 02.07.13 9:14am
Mandela quickly recovered when threatened with NHS treatment

It has now been confirmed that the South African leader spent the last few weeks malingering just for the sake of a comfortable bed and being waited on hand and foot by nurses. The health trust is...

sydalg 02.07.13 9:07am
Sacked elephant handler 'not quite up to the tusk' says boss 5
Dick Everyman 02.07.13 8:55am
Lindy Moone
Controlling stroke victim wife 'in critical condition' 0
Oxbridge 02.07.13 8:03am
Humourless heart attack victim 'in serious condition' 0
Oxbridge 02.07.13 8:01am