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Classical Brit Awards: Andre Rieu accused of fiddling result 0
Nails UK 3 years
Wardrobe inspector quits after beating from jealous husband 14
jp1885 3 years

Britain’s only wardrobe inspector has announced that he is hanging up his tool after the ‘umpteenth’ beating from a jealous husband left him with several fractured ribs and serious facial...

Chief Druid announces shock resignation 0
Lemon difficult 3 years

Aegberd Williams the controversial archdruid of Glastonbury startled the religious community today with the announcement that he will give up his role to take up the position as Master of St Olaf...

Hacking latest: Lord Leveson arrested. 0
weematt 3 years

Lord Justice Leveson was arrested late in the afternoon just as he was returning from horseriding near his Chipping Norton mansion. It is understood that he had been out riding with a group of...

Richard Dawkins to be new Archbishop of Canterbury 0
apepper 3 years

The general synod of the Church of England is expected to approve Richard Dawkins as the new head of the Church of England. A spokesman explained; "Whereas most of the candidates prevaricated over...

Ryanair win contract to supply Cameron with Eire-Force One jet 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Did United and City throw Europa Cup to concentrate on title race? 0
Boutros 3 years

No. they were beaten fair and square. Now move on...

Osborne - 50% rate cut - "Champagne's not getting any cheaper". 1
ianrbland 3 years

More [i]hic[/i] soon...

Cameron in court after lost luggage claim on Air-Force one. 0
ianrbland 3 years

The Prime Minister, Mr. David Cameron and his Wife Samantha are to be taken to court by his travel insurers after submitting a fraudulent claim for lost luggage after flying on Air-Force one....

Archbishop of Canterbury quits in protest at treatment of Russell Brand 0
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

Dr Rowan Williams has resigned as Archbishop of Canterbury in protest at the 'heavy-handed' treatment of Russell Brand by the US police, Lambeth Palace has announced. Dr Williams, 61, is said to...

Crowd in shock as Carrie Oakey finally turns up for a gig. More soon... 0
ianrbland 3 years
God accepts Archbishop's resignation but demands he clears his altar at once 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Sequal to Dustin Hoffmans HBO Drama Luck, to be titled "Dogfood and glue" 0
Iamthestig 3 years

Another program where gamblers can winalot!...

Birthdays banned at Scotland Yard following fat police survey 0
kimllfixit 3 years

Possession of illegal substances now to include 'cake'...

Harry Redknapp being considered for Archbishop of Canterbury vacancy. 0
The Nage 3 years
'Jaunt Man Cameron' Gets An Earfull From Cleggy..... 2
Jesse Bigg 3 years

."How come I have to do the housework while you swan off on another easy jaunt? Mr Fake Tan Man!"...

Long term unemployed to get positions in Coalition Government 0
ianrbland 3 years

In a further bid to reduce unemployment levels the government has announced a new policy of creating new, but meaningless positions within the coalition government and appointing some of the longer...

Tories trump Labour jobs pledge with a job a uniform and a rifle 0
yussle 3 years
Husband awarded D- in DIY assessment, takes-up DIY 1
antharrison 3 years

Despite promising to undertake the vast array of DIY tasks assigned by his wife, avid golfer Andy Ariston has been awarded a D- by his wife for the pathetic progress made in the tasks and the...

Pips will pop, advise surgeons 0
Immunis 3 years
Controversial new face implants raise a few eyebrows 2
quango 3 years
Fathers For Justice support campaign for 'some sex' marriages 4
cinquecento 3 years
Argentina steps up claims for Pitcairn Islands 1
grumblechops 3 years

In a surprise move, Argentinian President de Kirchner today asserted Argentina's claim to sovereignty over Pitcairn Island, on the grounds that it is "way closer to us than them". She talked some...

'Being rich and powerful puts women off' claims thick ginger bastard 4
3 years
Here Are Some Scary Thoughts: 0
rfreed 3 years

Here Are Some Really Scary Thoughts: The people running for President have no problem wasting huge sums of other people's money and spending incredible amounts of time making themselves look good...

Fears for future of Goldman Sachs as IOW locals refuse to do business with them 0
quango 3 years

Investors are fleeing Goldman Sachs in droves as further news that the IOW will no longer do business with the global investment banking powerhouse. A trip down the local pub in Cowes reveals how...

Many people have now heard of Belgium, survey finds 0
roybland 3 years
Welsh Apple fans queue for launch of iPlaid 0
roybland 3 years
Small elite group of universities, not so elite, not so small. 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Burglars 'must be fit enough to carry large swag bag' report recommends 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years