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NASA blames Galactic Council for ‘botched’ black hole repairs 0
Dick Everyman 3 years

NASA has complained to the Galactic Council that repairs to black holes are being botched up and taking too long as well as contributing to orbital congestion. The International Space Station and...

channel 4 show how to turn a £150million football club into a £3million one 0
borednow 3 years

You simply appoint Bryan Robson as manager...

Ed Milliband told to drop his "Ah, no, that was Gordon's fault" excuse. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Spectre looms over Murdoch's future. 0
f0zz 3 years

The media mogul's troubles took a bizarre turn for the worse yesterday when his own privacy was compromised by the arrival of what could only be described as a 'sinister presence' that refuses to...

Murdoch to be grilled by M.P.’s. 0
be reasonable 3 years

I hope they remember to turn him over half way through...

Britain’s top alpha male loses man points after successfully ironing sheet 0
jp1885 3 years
Tiger Woods to take voice coaching from the Reverend Ian Paisley 0
Tom55 3 years

"Every bloody cup is going to one or other of those Northern Paddies. If the voice training does not work, I will have to start training the way they do, wearing a balaclava." said the former...

Aston Villa's new signing fait de complet 0
button 3 years

Its a given!...

I'm drunk, that's it, and I'll quit if I don't get f*cking get FP'd! 5
Dick Everyman 3 years

It's late in the evening and I'm one bottle of Cotes du Rhone down. My toys are officially out of my pram, I'm hacked off, pissed offed and Boris Karloffed. Who cares if I upset John O'Farrell (John...

Manchester International Festival. "Fooking shite,' explains local 0
SpankyMonkey 3 years
iPhone survives fall from skydiver's pocket so there is a Silicon Heaven 0
Ostsee 3 years
Wetherspoons open 'The Cock and Bull' in Wapping 0
SpankyMonkey 3 years
Row breaks out over ITV's 'So you think you can flounce' tantrum show 7
3 years

ITV's latest reality TV show has been widely condemned as 'irresponsible' by industry insiders. 'So you think you can flounce' encourages bright new egos to throw a massive wobbler in front of a live...

After 15 knives are found in Sean Hoares back, A Judge calls it the worse 0
guffaw 3 years

case of suicide he has ever seen...

Islamic clerics reconsider necessity of Burqas after visit to Rio de Janeiro 2
Dumbnews 3 years
ITV to launch new Prime-Time Saturday Entertainment show.. 0
Bismarck 3 years

Hosted by ITV's "Mr Saturday night", Harry Hill, Youve Been Hacked will bring good old family entertainment back to Saturday night, 'We beleive we have found a real alternative to Strictly Come...

Londons 'B' Minus Commisioner, Draws Critcism 0
mugwump 3 years

David Cameron today confirmed that despite heavy criticism from Labour MP’s, prospective police cadet Frankie Cruz Johnson is to be the new Police Commissioner for London. The Prime Minister said...

Culture Secretary announces move to the countryside 0
writinginbsl 3 years
Mathematicians calculate that bruised apple in lunchbox travels the equivalent.. 0
writinginbsl 3 years

of one and a half times round the world in just a few weeks...

NB exclusive interview with Martine McCutcheon - The Face of Feminine Bloating. 1
MADJEZ 3 years

More soon pass the Activia...

Boris Johnson will break with tradition and the next police commissioner will 0
guffaw 3 years

not be a complete tosser...

Neighbour cannot find words to describe the terrible coughing sounds of EX NOTW 0
guffaw 3 years

man before he succumbed...

Murdoch appearance before commons committee to be 'pay per view'. More soon. 1
red 3 years
Toyota announce new 4WD : Lange Lover 0
theumpire 3 years
Sheriff Roscoe P Coltrane to be new chief of Metropolitan Police 5
FraserWords 3 years

Sheriff Roscoe P Coltrane is to be the new Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police., The Home Office recruited the American officer, formerly chief of police in Hazzard County, Georgia, because his...

Giant pandas reclassified as useless 'pyjama cases'. 0
writinginbsl 3 years
Month related headlines attributed to time of the month 2
borednow 3 years

more period pains soon...

Health Chiefs to 'sanitize' Tour De France 7
f0zz 3 years

In the wake of a slew of horrific pile-ups at this year's flagship cycling event, concerned Health & Safety officials confirm that next year's Tour De France will take place on static flat-bed...

Professional cyclists wins ‘Campest Sports Apparel’ award for 23rd year. 0
be reasonable 3 years

This year, they had to beat off the squad of Stade Francaise rugby team and all the NFL...

Doc asks mum to be with furniture polish craving: How are your stools? 2
ronseal 3 years