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Abattoir staff 'wondered why they had been killing horses'

Staff at Britain's largest abattoir in Buckinghamshire are satisfied at finally understanding the central role they had been playing in the industrialised slaughter of horses for over two years....

2
BAJDixon 09.02.13 1:30am
dvo4fun
Stuart Hall to fight charges with huge foam hammer and bucket of water 2
Duncan Biscuit 09.02.13 1:27am
Alan Sundry
UK braces for snow story overload

The UK has been put on high alert this weekend after forecasters predicted a massive deluge of press and TV news stories about snow. One mediarologist, who couldn't be named, said: "We are going to...

3
Mik Bulk 09.02.13 1:25am
Alan Sundry
Findhoss....

.The new meaty product on the market? Nay, lad...

4
Jesse Bigg 09.02.13 12:18am
nickb
Foal found in veal 0
nickb 09.02.13 12:14am
nickb
Isle of Wight discover that Cowes is actually 29% Horses

Isle of Wight residents were shocked to discover that nearly a third of the Cowes is actually Horses. Our reporter tried to record local reactions but was burnt as a witch when he pulled out his...

1
apepper 09.02.13 12:13am
nickb
New book on history's 'hottest communication methods' found to contain morseheat 1
SJM 08.02.13 11:31pm
SJM
Dairy farmer discovers 60% of his cows are actually horses

Investigators looking into the ongoing beef/horsemeat scandal believe they may have traced the cause of the problem to a short-sighted farmer in Tipperary, who was found to have a significant...

13
Vertically Challenged Giant 08.02.13 11:12pm
Paddy Berzinski
Bargain Cheapo Burgers "A year's supply for a tenner" found to contain roadkill.

How long before we find human remains in burgers or lasagne?...

0
deskpilot3 08.02.13 11:11pm
deskpilot3
Government bullshit found to contain 29% horseshit

Nick Clegg blamed for the contamination...

1
MikeF 08.02.13 11:08pm
deskpilot3
Warning Issued - Horsemeat can give you the trots. 0
Paddy Berzinski 08.02.13 11:05pm
Paddy Berzinski
Groundbreaking TV cop show features well matched colleagues with stable lives 0
custard cream 08.02.13 11:03pm
custard cream
HMRC Traditionalists in New Customs Raid 0
SJM 08.02.13 10:54pm
SJM
Trace of Wildebeest found in Lion Bar 1
Drylaw 08.02.13 10:46pm
deskpilot3
Q&As

Is Paul McCartney a Christian? Sir,, The successful singer-songwriter Paul McCartney is indeed a practising Christian. I know so because I baptised him! Paul came to our little church in Beadle...

14
Mik Bulk 08.02.13 10:05pm
nickb
Near-Miss asteroid is not "made of fucking horsemeat!" rants astronomer

And nor does it have any connection with burgers or lasagne. "That would just be ridiculous," said an exasperated Professor Bob Stansfield. The near miss, anticipated to occur a week from now has...

0
Paddy Berzinski 08.02.13 10:03pm
Paddy Berzinski
Dancing in the streets of Brussels as EU Budget agreed

"Peace in our time", says UK PM Cameron, "I've sorted out Tunisia, Libya, Egypt, Afghanistan, Iraq and Mali - and topped it with the EU!", Cameron to be offered kingship by grateful nation...

2
custard cream 08.02.13 9:52pm
custard cream
Woman with 600 bedrooms escapes 'bedroom tax'

An elderly London woman who lives in social housing accommodation with 600 bedrooms will not have her housing subsidy cut although she has 599 spare bedrooms. From April social housing tenants will...

2
roybland 08.02.13 9:29pm
Squudge
Traces of the Chinese Year of the Horse found in the Year of the Rooster

Gung hei fat choi!...

1
Ian Searle 08.02.13 8:27pm
Underconstruction
Racehorse found to contain only 80% horse

The horse racing association has launched an urgent investigation following a routine test which discovered that a three year old race horse due to compete in this year's Grand National contains only...

0
Underconstruction 08.02.13 8:10pm
Underconstruction
Global match fixing scandal - Grimsby FC 'unlikeley to be implicated' claim 0
custard cream 08.02.13 8:04pm
custard cream
Further problems with Pantomime animals - Food Standards Agency

At a press conference held earlier today, Food Minister David Heath announced the results of the Food Standards Agency's extensive programme of DNA testing popular figures in the world of children's...

0
webcast 08.02.13 5:13pm
webcast
Cameron victorious in EU budget talks but UK will still pay more

Alice in Wonderland!...

0
custard cream 08.02.13 4:47pm
custard cream
Escargot found to contain traces of bogey

no surprise there then...

0
Lucy4 08.02.13 4:31pm
Lucy4
Latest shock revelation from FSA: Soylent Green isn't people! 0
Aviankid 08.02.13 4:09pm
Aviankid
Waitrose Praised For Assurances that all Horsemeat in Their Food is GM Free

The Friends of Green Earthpiece and various other paranoid Eco-Groups praised Waitrose for getting their priorities right. "I suppose there is always a proportion of hair, fur, hooves, trotters,...

0
Titus 08.02.13 3:37pm
Titus
Survey finds 100% of Michael Gove's pronouncements are horse**** 0
custard cream 08.02.13 3:16pm
custard cream
Horse Meat Danger is Real: "There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly ..." 0
Titus 08.02.13 3:10pm
Titus
Findus fish fingers contain 99% seahorse...

Haven't we had enough now?...

1
ThunderSquid 08.02.13 2:45pm
Squudge
No traces of originality found in the latest horse contamination jokes!

Extensive tests reveal no humour in most either...

0
topfotogmw 08.02.13 2:37pm
topfotogmw