The NewsBiscuit Writers' Room
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Everything on these pages has been submitted by readers of the site and appears here unedited. Potential front page stories as well as one-liners for the ticker bar are welcome, so if you would like to write for NewsBiscuit please post your article on this submission board and then attempt to give yourself maximum votes over and over again. The most prolific and successful contributors will be considered for the coveted title of 'Writer of the Month'.
Check the following links for info: Guidelines for writers, Writer of the Month, Help with posting.
| Topic — Add New » | Comments | Votes | Author | Freshness |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Huntley wins Lottery | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
roybland | 2 years |
| Snooker champs go for the plant as Higgins takes extended rest. | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Phlegm | 2 years |
| Clegg 40% less fanciable than three months ago | 4 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
ChrisHarrison | 2 years |
|
Following his decision to join forces with the Conservatives, Lib Dem leader, Nick Clegg, has seen his sexual attractiveness plummet. The Facebook group, ‘Nick Clegg? I would’ has seen its... |
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| Pinnipeds 'Up in Flippers', as BP Plans to 'Seal' Gulf Well | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
mugwump | 2 years |
| Huntley just fantastically accident prone , claims Prison Service | 4 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Gary Stanton | 2 years |
|
The Prison Service say they will ‘vigorously defend’ the case being pursued by litigious caretaker nonce Ian Huntley,36, and insist all injuries he sustained while banged up are due to his own... |
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| Pakistan Summons UK Envoy : Bring a bottle... should be a larf! | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
mugwump | 2 years |
| FILM NEWS: Schumacher to take lead role in "Death Race 2010" remake. | 1 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
pinxit | 2 years |
|
Another Prick in the Wall... |
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| Pauline Prescott said to be ‘well made up’ after landing One Show role. | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Stan Laurel | 2 years |
| National outcry for better quality sperm donors. | 14 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Basil_B | 2 years |
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As it's discovered Jedward were conceived this way... |
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| Gulf states order Blackberry users to cover their phones in a tiny burqa | 1 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Ludicity | 2 years |
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New laws in Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates will require that every Blackberry user dress their phone a miniature burqa and face veil. ‘The Blackberry burqa means that people can still... |
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| Authorities admit "bad week" to pebble dash stoning asylum woman's safe house | 1 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
rickwestwell | 2 years |
| A Think Tank thinks that the BBC Licence fee should be abolished | 6 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
arrghgarry | 2 years |
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The think tank`s Chairman volunteer Jonathan Ross says he has 55 million people backing, him. see Yahoo... |
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| Confusion as Gulf states unveil blackberry flan | 2 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
rickwestwell | 2 years |
| Shopping. | 1 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
biggles | 2 years |
|
3lb of new potatoes, loaf of brown bread, onion, large carrot, handcuffs, leather whip, Daily Mail, Large pot of vasaline, nipple clamps, tub of choclate ice cream, wooden shelf size 1m33cm... |
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| Man who crossed his legs wakes up next to a horse's head. | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
MrChigleysAunt | 2 years |
| Oh why oh why oh why oh why | 1 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
biggles | 2 years |
|
oh why oh why oh why me said Mr Newsbiscuit,why doesnt he take his fuckng gnomes someplace else,oh why oh why oh why... |
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| Uncle Ben and Aunt Bessie announce split | 1 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
ianslat | 2 years |
|
Famous foodie couple Uncle Ben and Aunt Bessie have today announced that they are to divorce. Citing irreconcilable culinary differences, Aunt Bessie told Heat magazine ‘we just don’t feel like... |
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| X-Factor winner realises he's gay 8 months after everyone else does | 2 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Oxbridge | 2 years |
| Ha ha harr | 2 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
biggles | 2 years |
|
Trevor laughed as he lay in bed,ha ha ho ho ha harrr stop it please he giggled to himself as he tickled his freshly shaven testicles with a giant feather.Finally he stopped and began to realise the... |
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| Scientists Announce ‘Enough is Enough’ as First True, Perpetual Motion | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
mugwump | 2 years |
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In today's keynote speech at the 13th International Perpetual Motion Symposium in Stafford, England, scientists have designated the phrase “Enough is Enough”, as the first true form of perpetual... |
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| Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari claims asylum in France | 1 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
afternoonslow | 2 years |
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He has been sent to Calais where he was last seen, with a small groups of invaders (or ‘clandestines ‘ as the French authorities refer to them), ambling around, possibly on their way to the... |
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| Pope converts to Islam | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
PluckyMunky | 2 years |
| Team GB seal victory in fish-related events. | 1 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
MrChigleysAunt | 2 years |
| Jacqui Smith applies for BBC job. Husband applies to Channel 5. | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Ludicity | 2 years |
| I can't believe it's not milk | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
ramblesnake | 2 years |
|
now on sale in cloned supermarkets... |
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| Yousuf called up to Pakisan test side. Cat Stevens rushes to buy new bat | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
brownpaperreporter | 2 years |
| Government redesignates homeless as street artists | 4 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Mrblacker | 2 years |
|
In a controversial move, the Government is to chsange the status of people living rough across the UK. The proposal from Iain Duncan-Smith, the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, would see... |
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| UK 2012 Paralympics hopes boosted with new events | 3 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Mrblacker | 2 years |
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The chance of Team GB winning a record haul of medals at the London 2012 Paralympics have received a shot in the arm from the International Olympic Committee. After months of consultation, the IOC... |
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| Boris Johnson launches 60ft long bendy bike | 7 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Ludicity | 2 years |
|
London Mayor, Boris Johnson, has unveiled his latest solution to the capital’s transport problems – the bendy bike – a 60ft long, articulated bicycle that bends in the middle. ‘The bendy... |
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| ‘Sarah’s law’ to be adopted in Eire: Paedophiles will be forced to wear cassocks | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Stan Laurel | 2 years |
|
Following the Home Office announcement that the scheme known as ‘Sarah’s Law’ is to be extended in the UK, it was confirmed that plans are well advanced to introduce a similar scheme in Eire.... |
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