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You pays your money...... 1
Jesse Bigg 3 years

for a buffoon in London and a bouffant at No. 10...

Swedish women pose greatest airline security threat 9
A Wagonload Of Monkeys 3 years

A top security expert has warned that Swedish women pose the greatest threat to airline safety following the discovery of a more sophisticated underwear bomb. "I have very specific and creditable...

Vatican issues yet more Papal Bull [edited re-sub] 1
dvo4fun 3 years

The Papal Noncio to the UK and Ireland today spoke of his concern about some of last week’s child sex abuse cover-up stories, at a conference for childcare professionals and some unidentified men...

France ditches austerity in favour of magic beans 1
Old Hat 3 years

Deluded Socialist mental-case, and president of france, Francois Hollande is to open the magic catacombs below the Eiffel Tower and extract the magic beans of Louis from within its depths. To...

General public step in to "keep law and order" as police stage protest march 2
Scroat 3 years

Home Secretary Theresa May was said to be "overwhelmed" with offers from the public to help at the protest march planned for Thursday in central London. "It really does show that deep down, the...

Study finds nobody cares about 99% of things others post on facebook 0
Dumbnews 3 years

Even more ironic, I stopped caring about things I post...

Bowel specialist's romance began on Faecesbook 3
Underconstruction 3 years
Bin Laden papers show a man frustrated at getting shot in the head 3
3 years

Newly released papers from Osama Bin Laden’s hideout reveal a leader living in fear of the ‘mad skillz’ of the US Navy SEALs and struggling to control an unruly network, the US military says....

On his 86th Birthday, Sir David Attenborough announces plans 0
Bismarck 3 years

for a new series entitled "Life in the Toilet" Filming will start in and around Wigan later on this year...

Tally-ban to outlaw counting under sharithmatic law 0
quango 3 years

There attempts to integrate poorly-derived religious verse into counting is madness" exclaimed one local shop keeper, Qu'dratic, "it just doesn't add up"...

Man who thinks he is A A Gill 'in critical condition' 1
MrBen 3 years
Weatherman admits that hurricane rumour was a wind-up 0
MrBen 3 years
Curry cancer cure put to the test as first patients undertake Keema Therapy. 14
wallster 3 years

Had to be done...

Businessman says 'No Deal' to Rangers after opening blues books 2
charlies_hat 3 years
Runaway lovers Mr Cymbal and Miss Drums commit suicide at Beachy Head 0
JohnA 3 years


Dignitas disapointed by lack of response to customer service questionnaire 1
Iamthestig 3 years
British Boxers announce coalition inspired '12 rounds of kiss and make up' 1
Perks 3 years

Following their now infamous press conference which saw scenes that disturbed those who looked on and drew criticism from many saying they brought their profession into disrepute, Cameron and...

Wooden Bygones boat includes Ed Miliband and Andy Carroll 6
dvo4fun 3 years

An Olympic celebration boat launched today includes in its construction a host a wooden artefacts. These include a sliver of Jimi Hendrix's guitar, passed OK by Police sniffer dogs and the arborial...

Dinosaur Extinction caused by extreme IBS claim experts 0
Immunis 3 years

Experts have finally discovered the main cause of the end of the dinosaurs and were surprised to discover that it was due to a global pandemic of Irritable Bowl Syndrome. Professor Mike Smith and his...

Curry cancer cure turns Birmingham into Europe's healthiest city 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

more later...

Barber of Seville found guilty of grooming 0
cinquecento 3 years
Cameron promises no let up in tough decisions on Nick Clegg 0
cinquecento 3 years
French and Greek Dyslexics reject Austin Healy measures 0
Ian Searle 3 years

And Belgian voters look set to reject Ostende territory measures...

Bottle of Daddies Sauce fails paternity test 0
Ian Searle 3 years

After appearing on The Jeremy Kyle Show with a right Nutella...

World’s most fickle football fan poised to celebrate another title 6
Yikes 3 years

Manchester man Jeremy Clode moved across town, bought a Manchester City shirt, hat, and scarf, and learnt the words to "Blue Moon", in anticipation of this weekend’s exciting conclusion to the...

Cable’s “Liz Hurley moment” steals show as Dave and Nick renew vows 0
grumblechops 3 years

Business Secretary Vince Cable was at the centre of controversy after stealing the limelight at his bosses’ re-commitment ceremony by turning up in a daring Versace number which left little to the...

MI5 discovers Miliband's leadership in locked holdall 0
ibamo 3 years

In a bizarre turn of events, and MI5 spooks-person has disclosed the recent discovery of Ed Miliband's leadership inside a red holdall bag, "locked from the inside". Agents became concerned after...

Scientists successfully neutralise Jim al-Khalili 5
MaverickRat 3 years

Scientists today revealed that they have managed to control the spread of the BBC Science guru Jim al-Khalili by the application of Jim al-Khalacid - rendering him impotent with a neutral ph of zero....

New Health and Safety fears as expert warns underwear bombs may contain nuts 0
MrBen 3 years
Clegg and Cameron deny renewing vows always sure sign of extramarital affair 0
button 3 years