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Experiment on RSC thespians show them grooming each other and swinging on a tyre 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Berlusconi/Pope's repeated under age sex denials 'smack of desperation' 1
SpankyMonkey 3 years

Deny them once and then leave it. The more you protest, the guiltier you look, Silvio/Your eminency...

nomadic tribe applies to high commissioner to secure promised land 0
4ty2 3 years

as assigned to them by the European human rights bible. However following the problems caused by forcing to convert nomads into settlers and the constant attack through their militant indigenous...

Berlusconi 'underage sex payment' shock. "I've never paid for it" says Pope 0
dvo4fun 3 years

No more efforts to fit this gag in. Honest...

Berlusconi 'underage sex payment' scandal: "I've never paid for it" boasts 0
dvo4fun 3 years

More soon [hopefully the pope line hasn't disapeared on this version]...

Miliband launches attack on strippers. 0
SpankyMonkey 3 years

There's better that can be done with this one, but I can't be arsed, and I have a meeting to go to...

in memoriam Michael Faherty or Fatharta, late of Co Galway - near Limerick 0
edmartin 3 years

Mr Michael O'Fatharta of Galway, hisself combusted and passed all away., Within the benighted, his shite had ignited, and the pall still hangs over the Bay...

Berlusconi 'underage sex payment' scandal.' "I've never paid for it " 0
dvo4fun 3 years
UBS rogue trader distraught as he fails to get a financial scam named after him 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

Kweku Adoboli's attempt to have his name last forever through having a scam named after him has failed. In a ruling from the European Court of Financial Scam Names, his attempt to be nominated in the...

Men! Turn your Four AM tinkle into a tweet 0
Drylaw 3 years
Hollywood Filmmakers Urged To Reconsider "Show, Don't Tell" Policy 0
Textbook 3 years
Flash still won't work on new iPhone - but Cillit Bang does. 2
Boutros 3 years

Bang. And the dirt, all your contacts and your entire iTunes library is gone...

THE FUHRER RECITES 0
yuri_nahl 3 years

Comrades, in safe deposit box of the Schikelguber family, following masterpiece was discovered with used condoms with names of ladies written on same, apparent “trophy condoms” of future...

Convicted polonium 210 killer receives half-life sentence. 4
spoole2112 3 years
Onion, Newsbiscuit, Losing Audience To Fox News Online 0
Textbook 3 years
Scandal: Shadow Chancellor a skinhead after Miliband shaves his Balls 0
Perks 3 years
Monkeys Write Shakespeare; "Hollyoaks is Next" 1
apepper 3 years

An experiment using millions of virtual monkeys has generated 99.99% of the complete works of Shakespeare. The programmer in charge commented, "Once this is complete, I thought what next? And...

Berlusconi found guilty - to be fed to the Christians 0
edmartin 3 years

more to come...

Tuition fees cut risks pole dancer shortage 8
Ironduke 3 years

Lap dance club owner Peter Strongfellow has slammed Ed Miliband's stated intention to cut University Tuition fees as "ill conceived and barely thought through", claiming it could "wreak havoc across...

Travellers to ply a different trade 3
greg various 3 years

"Need any legal advice mate, only I've got some left over from another job."...

Weapons company fires staff 1
greg various 3 years

Boom! Boom!...

Spontaneous combustion threat to elderly this winter, Government warns 5
roybland 3 years

Thousands of Britain's elderly could die this winter through spontaneous combustion, according to the government. The warning comes a few days after an Irish coroner decided that Michel Faherty, 76,...

Climate change agnostics demand the right to send kids to non faith schools 6
ronseal 3 years

Agnostics, who aren't sure whether or not there's an omnipotent deity in the sky who wants us all to follow Al Gore, are to be allowed to send their children to new, non faith schools, where they can...

Microsoft attempts to win over middle classes with Awnings for Windows. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Ed Balls apologises for not beating Miliband in leadership election 1
medici2471 3 years

Plenty more soon....

National Anthems are changing faster than they can be Recorded 0
apepper 3 years

The 2012 Olympics have been thrown into chaos by the surge in the number of national anthems. A spokesman for the London Symphony Orchestra, who are recording all the anthems for the forthcoming...

Healthy living adds days to your life, but removes life from your days 0
Dumbnews 3 years
REPOST Egyptian hieroglyphs early version of Facebook claims archaeologist 2
simonjmr 3 years

Mark Zuckerberg CEO for Facebook has today been served a cease and desist order issued on behalf of the Egyptian government, claiming that he stole the idea for Facebook from the ancient Egyptians....

Computer Simulations Verify that Shakespeare was Originally Written by Monkeys 0
kga6 3 years

New evidence has been found to support the theory that the entire works of Shakespeare were first written by a room of monkeys with typewriters. A recent excavation, just off Henley Street,...

Box containing 200 things worth fuck all found in the solent 0
RJWinter 3 years