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England Lose Again

The Archbishop of Canterbury has conceded defeat following the Pope's assertion that the Roman Catholic Church has 8,000 paedophile priests. "There's no way we can match that", he said...

0
Mike Turbine-Hamilton 14.07.14 2:01pm
Mike Turbine-Hamilton
Lurpak on offer at Asda, says your wife's mother at 6 in the frigging morning

According to sources close to your wife, which during the last five seconds have have been positively identified with her mother, Lurpak is on sale at 40% off in Asda this week. The news emerged in a...

10
Oxbridge 14.07.14 1:01pm
Spartacus
TSR-2 aircraft project resurrected as cheaper alternative to F-35

More plane English soon...

0
Bigglesworth 14.07.14 12:41pm
Bigglesworth
Suicide bomber calls in sick with a bellyache

It was a bitter air of resentment that filled the office at the suicide bomber training camp today as practicing martyr, Colin Troke, failed to show for work again; the third time in as many weeks....

0
Robopop 14.07.14 11:19am
Robopop
Ducking stool supervisor ducks out

Hat tips all over the place...

0
RobArmstrong 14.07.14 11:02am
RobArmstrong
Shock as Pope reveals "49 out of 50 Catholic priests are not paedophiles" 0
AReader 14.07.14 10:04am
AReader
Labour ready to form next government "now there's some money in the bank again"

Having left a note saying "there's no money left ha ha." on the door of the Treasury when they lost the last election Labour are looking forwards to another period of amusing themselves in power....

0
vulture1 14.07.14 9:58am
vulture1
Satire writers offer limp Nazi references to Germany's World Cup win 0
AReader 14.07.14 9:56am
AReader
Goaline technology cameras to be adapted to provide goalkeeper dandruff alerts 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 14.07.14 9:20am
blacklesbianandproudofit
They think it's all uber, it is now Germany win world cup. more soon 0
Thundi 14.07.14 9:13am
Thundi
Scots warned: choose soon, the border closes in 65 days

With the independence referendum fast approaching, the population of Scotland were today prompted to make their choice as soon as possible as the border with England will be closing 'once and for...

0
RobArmstrong 14.07.14 9:07am
RobArmstrong
Prince Edward to be guillotined as Bastille Day 'token of friendship' to France 0
pere floza 14.07.14 9:05am
pere floza
Mental Health charity changes MIND to Bunch of Nutters. 2
IABP 2 14.07.14 9:03am
IABP 2
Scotland, Wales & Northern Ireland Fail to Qualify for 2018 World Cup Finals.

более ckopo...

0
IABP 2 14.07.14 9:03am
IABP 2
IDS 'major cause of depression in UK' study shows

Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith is the major cause of depression in the UK according to new research published in the medical journal 'Lance-it!'. The finding comes amid reports of...

0
roybland 14.07.14 8:39am
roybland
General Synod vote YES for scat porn and high heels

‘Fuck it,’ say conservative bishops. ‘We might as well go the whole hog, and give Two Girls One Chalice the thumbs up’...

1
Landfill 14.07.14 8:37am
Wrenfoe
In Light of Recent Puns, Newsbiscuit is Supporting Calls for Assisted Satirising

No more soon...

0
IABP 2 14.07.14 8:22am
IABP 2
whoops

Posted twice again!...

0
Ian Searle 14.07.14 8:05am
Ian Searle
Type 2 diabetics to be given gastric loom bands,

It won't help the disease, but they will feel loved...

0
Ian Searle 14.07.14 8:03am
Ian Searle
Argentine government declares national day of assisted crying 0
beckfordburger 14.07.14 5:57am
beckfordburger
Descendants of Hippocrates angry with the NHS

A bunch of Greeks of possible Hippocratic lineage are considering legal action over what they see as an affront to the healing gods. The vitriol comes after it was disclosed that the Home Office has...

0
Mork 14.07.14 3:58am
Mork
Dutch Scientists Record World's Longest Ever Sullen Silence As Germans Lift Cup

Scientists from The Netherlands last night reported a resigned, disappointed silence across the entire country lasting well over 5 hours, a new world record, following Germany's triumph in the World...

0
Jonny Shlep 14.07.14 3:18am
Jonny Shlep
English bar conversation lets slip that entire German World Cup squad are gay.

More shocking revelations soon...

0
MADJEZ 13.07.14 11:05pm
MADJEZ
CoE votes for assisted suicide for women bishops

More soon[quote]...

0
antharrison 13.07.14 10:25pm
antharrison
For you, ze football is over 0
Squudge 13.07.14 10:12pm
Squudge
North Korea beat imperialist running dogs 7-1 in World Cup Final 0
virtuallywill 13.07.14 9:54pm
virtuallywill
Argentina to spend next 30 plus years claiming World Cup is rightfully theirs 0
Mandy Lifeboat 13.07.14 9:36pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Thorpe "caught gayness from Daley's swimming pool" claim Aussies 0
pere floza 13.07.14 9:23pm
pere floza
Hotpoint comes out in favour of assisted drying. 1
Maverick 13.07.14 9:21pm
cinquecento
Pope says future Ratzinger canonisation will be the first 'direct from Hell' 0
cinquecento 13.07.14 9:20pm
cinquecento