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Thousands of outdoor smokers perish during UK 'Big Freeze'

Figures released today reveal that 15,436 UK smokers froze to death during the month of March - many perishing in broad daylight outside High Street coffee shops whilst sat down quietly minding their...

0
04.04.13 6:36pm
North Korea reminded traditional etiquette is to kick off on Belgium 3
Ironduke 04.04.13 6:21pm
Ironduke
Sunderland to play in Brown Shirts. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 04.04.13 5:40pm
Al OPecia
Dave Might be Able but that Don't Make Me Cain, says Ed

Biblical narrative to follow...

0
Thewoodenleg 04.04.13 5:19pm
Thewoodenleg
Philpott's wife and mistress hammer out an agreement on conjugal visits 0
sydalg 04.04.13 4:55pm
sydalg
Scientists close to an explanation of "His Dark Materials". More soon.

Sorry Nick and ta...

0
Al OPecia 04.04.13 4:55pm
Al OPecia
Operation Yewtree "now a bigger threat to the elderly than Alzheimer's" 7
sydalg 04.04.13 4:16pm
dvo4fun
Beatrix Potter Dildo Range Pulled After Many Found to be Flopsy

I'm not a proud man - that's fairly terrible and dnoe for Neat-o too rather than for comedy gold excuses excuses...

0
thisisall1word 04.04.13 2:11pm
thisisall1word
"You we're prepared to go to any lengths to keep your partner happy" Clegg told

More soon Couldn't get the however humiliating in there in the space for a ticker...

0
Not Amused 04.04.13 1:55pm
Not Amused
Trident "Absolutely Vital" for Disguising National Decline, Cameron

Prime Minister David Cameron today set out the case for replacing the Trident nuclear weapons system, arguing it was “our best shot at fooling ourselves and others that we’re still a proper...

4
Ablative Fabsolute 04.04.13 1:16pm
baron la croix
Dyslexic Rabbi persuaded to drops anti-semitism claim against Watership Down

Neat-o .. just mixing me toes sis...

0
Not Amused 04.04.13 1:11pm
Not Amused
Di Canio annexes Hartlepool United

Hartlepool United was absorbed into greater Sunderland AFC last night in a move described as an 'historic union of ethnically north eastern football supporters' by Sunderland's leader Paolo Di Canio....

21
BAJDixon 04.04.13 12:01pm
happi
Chikd killer Philpotts says to her the taxpayers were just a meal ticket,2nd

house,pension,free travel for MP Anne Widdecome...

0
happi 04.04.13 11:55am
happi
Prosecution of Mike Philpott "A Political Attempt To Discredit Welfare State" 3
Titus 04.04.13 10:58am
baron la croix
Lags Compete To Welcome Philpott To Their Nick

Rumours abound that convicted felons are desperately bidding for the privilege of welcoming Mike Philpott to their particular prison, wing or, preferably, cell. Allegedly they are so anxious to...

1
Titus 04.04.13 10:46am
Dick Everyman
Kim Jong Un offers to act as peacemaker in Di Canio case 0
sydalg 04.04.13 10:42am
sydalg
Stadium of Light burnt down, Durham Miners Association blamed 0
Lucy4 04.04.13 10:16am
Lucy4
Media witch hunt over alleged fascist managing a football team whilst...

former communist continues to run the NHS despite unnecessary deaths at Mid Staffs and East Lincs primary 'care' trusts. How many millions died under Stalin?...

3
LensCap 04.04.13 9:40am
bonjonelson
Daily Mail exclusive: Scientists discover the secret of a long life

Researchers at the University of the 5 Counties in East Grinstead belive they have identified the secret to living to a ripe old age. Over a period of several minutes they examined a random group of...

0
baron la croix 04.04.13 9:23am
baron la croix
Energy watchdog fines SSE £10m for mis-selling. In other news, SSE tariffs rise 1
dvo4fun 04.04.13 9:16am
Yikes
Attacks On White Straights Now Hate Crime

Warning: do not attack me if I visit Manchester. Agression towards specialist sub-cultures or devotees of distinct life-styles such as dreary, complacent, white, middle-aged, middle-class, literate,...

1
Titus 04.04.13 8:31am
No No Feckin No
Osborne’s crack team on spare change offensive

Following the unpopular spare bedroom tax, George Osborne’s latest proposal for a tax on spare change led to angry scenes in parliament yesterday as he unveiled his plans to recover an estimated...

0
Dick Everyman 04.04.13 7:39am
Dick Everyman
Disney "tempted" by porn firm's offer for rights to Snow White and Seven Dwarfs

Disney executives have admitted the company is seriously considering a ten-figure offer from a major porn company for the entire Snow White and Seven Dwarfs brand "with complete rights to amend,...

0
sydalg 04.04.13 1:14am
sydalg
Di Canio rips up contract, declares himself “manager for life”... 2
Tripod 04.04.13 1:00am
Ironduke
Inflation causes influenza mutation - H1N1 now H7N9. 1
deskpilot3 03.04.13 11:59pm
Titus
Daily Mail confused as both house prices and immigration fall in North Korea 0
Ian Searle 03.04.13 11:02pm
Ian Searle
Daily Mail says April Fools Day pranks "not as good as they used to be".

Other than the cover price of 60p, obviously...

0
deskpilot3 03.04.13 10:56pm
deskpilot3
New telescope identifies Frankie Boyle script as a source of Dark Matter. 0
deskpilot3 03.04.13 10:53pm
deskpilot3
Merkel imposes lederhosen bailout condition on failing economies

Germany's Chancellor Angela Merkel will demand that in future countries like Cyprus that need Germany's financial help must agree to wear lederhosen as evidence of their resolve to reform their...

0
roybland 03.04.13 10:18pm
roybland
'I am a racist, not a fascist,' confirms John Terry 3
Hooch 03.04.13 10:07pm
Dumbnews