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Thames Barrier inventor dies – tributaries flood in 8
witless 3 years

more to follow...

Dale Farm travellers' fury at being forced to travel 0
apepper 3 years

Traveller's living in the illegal Dale Farm development are furious that their traditional way of life of "not travelling" has been overturned by the high court...

Government condemns 'Guttop Computer' release amid obesity crisis talks 1
kga6 3 years

Computer manufacturers, HP, who also sell a range of table sauces, are set to capitalise on their combined knowledge of the food and computer industries with the release of the 'Guttop', a portable...

Paul Merson denies drink-driving. "I only had Coke" 1
Perks 3 years
'Propping houses up on a ramp would solve housing slump,' car dealer claims. 12
Boutros 3 years

"It's something we've been doing for years and it never fails to attract attention," explained car dealer Cliff Sweeney, gesturing towards a second-hand Rover parked on a steep ramp, the back wheels...

Basildon Council in new appeal for fresh ideas to waste another £18m 1
roybland 3 years

Basildon Council is asking the public to suggest innovative ways the council can waste another £18m of taxpayers' money now that the Dale Farm battle appears to be over. 'Admittedly,' said leader...

Man has 1965 Austin-Healey Sprite Haynes Manual pejazzle 0
simonjmr 3 years
Fitting of security devices described as “Alarming” 6
beau-jolly 3 years
Plagiarist murder sparks fear of copycat killings 2
button 3 years
Unemployment figures to fall as Government agrees being a mum is a full time job - 2 30
Perks 3 years

Unemployment figures are expected to fall drastically over the quarter as the government pledges to agree with an often thrown around phrase, and recognise 'being a mum' as a full-time job. ...

Festival 'unsustainable' claims Council 0
tedweasel 3 years

Doubt hangs over the future of Ilkley's famous Literature Festival following a scathing attack by Bradford City Council., The Festival, opened by W H Auden in 1973 has been an annual two week event...

Marathon runner uses public transport to go from first to last 2
Perks 3 years

A man in his 30's, has gone from first to last in the London Marathon, after trying to use public transport to shorten the course. Bob Loans from Cornwall had a comfortable 3minute lead as he...

Fish rescued after Marillion dries up 0
beau-jolly 3 years
Clergy outraged as all references to ‘Christmas’ removed from explicit sex film 1
Gary Stanton 3 years

Senior members of the clergy have denounced the decision to remove all references to Christmas from top-selling pornographic DVD ‘Horny XXXmas’ as an example of political correctness gone mad, it...

Special offer: BlackBerry with free world map of telephone boxes. 0
Ostsee 3 years
Daily Mail rebranded Fox News 0
Scroat 3 years
Man making bedroom-adjacent washroom to "get around to it in his en-suite time" 0
Adam Ice Rink 3 years
MBA marketing student "Unwittingly acted a bit C2" 9
antharrison 3 years

Denise Turner a 23 year old MBA student, studying on the first year of her course, has admitted that far from acting as a regular ABC1 citizen she may have unwittingly displayed behaviour which could...

Now Dale Farm is an 'art project', claim travellers. 2
Boutros 3 years

In a last desperate bid attempt to evade eviction, Dale Farm travellers have petitioned Basildon Council for the former scrapyard to be reclassified as installation art, taking their cue from Tracy...

The Rise and Fall of the Ottawan Empire 0
seymour totti 3 years

In 1923, the Ottoman Empire, which has lasted for over 600 years, finally fell. However, many are unaware of the attempts of 1970's French disco duo "Ottawan" to re-establish this cruel regime....

Complete meltdown in Japan, but officials say there is no risk to health 0
RJWinter 3 years
'Best Man' group rallies to support Werritty 0
roybland 3 years

Thousands of best men throughout the UK are backing Adam Werritty, the 'adviser' to beleagued defence secretary Liam Fox. Mr Werritty was the best man at Mr Fox's wedding before he infiltrated the...

Fracture clinic to have Snap Inspection 0
Perks 3 years
Man Utd and Chelsea set to go head to head for 'the next next next Pele' 3
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

14 year old Sao Paulo academy player Junior dos Santos Riviero Lima da Estrada Flagrinho, better known by his nickname Bob, is said to be the subject of interest from both Manchester United and...

Mind-blowing sex warning: Over-exertion between the sheets can wipe your memory 0
witless 3 years

I have forgotten the punch line...

Tom Jones finally admits 'sometimes it is unusual' 0
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Fuel-starved families driven to beg under coal-ition 8
Clarky 3 years

‘Got any loose coal, mister?’ – that’s the cry echoing round our city centre streets, as the coalition government’s tough green energy measures begin to take their toll on consumers. With...

River Thames runs dry for two miles near London, Mayor to blame claims Panorama 0
witless 3 years

Panorama has described the running dry of a section of the river Thames near Woolwich as "a rather serious situation. There is water in the river two miles upstream so it's just flowing down and...

DNA database gaping hole to be filled by Lollipop Ladies 1
witless 3 years

A shocking 11,266,000 motorists, OAP’s and one legged jay hoppers are missing from the national DNA database, it emerged last night. The convicts, all of whom are at liberty, may have been able to...

Silence of the New Zealand Lambs heralds product placement for older films 24
vertical 3 years

Digital compositing now allows sponsored products to be inserted into Hollywood classics. Major studios say commercial titles will soon include The Sound of Sony Music, Birds Eye's Big Chill,...