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British Scientists Solve Obesity Problem

British scientists have revealed today that they have decoded the issues surrounding the obesity problems affecting all developed nations. The lead researcher held up a GCSE physics textbook to help...

0
throngsman 10.03.14 9:01pm
throngsman
Satnavs showing San José and Amarillo "ruining it for songwriters" 0
sydalg 10.03.14 8:52pm
sydalg
Ex-nun takes vow of promiscuity...

“After ten years of poverty, obedience and chastity, I’ve got a lot of catching up to do”, said Sharon Alsopp, who, until she left the Convent of the Bessed Virgin last week, was known to the...

4
Tripod 10.03.14 8:41pm
Titus
Fyffes merge with Chiquita to become top banana.

What do you mean, satire?...

1
Maverick 10.03.14 8:38pm
Titus
Kim Jong-Un tops Korean charts with (Is this the way to) Amarillo.

From the video. http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02846/north-korea-kim_2846499b.jpg...

3
MADJEZ 10.03.14 8:37pm
Titus
Science Question #53 - When I fart do I lose or gain weight?

Our diet specialist replies, 'this is not so much about farts as about political self image. Everybody farts but politicians don't like to admit it - apart from Eric Pickles, but then again, there'd...

3
throngsman 10.03.14 8:30pm
Squudge
Kim Jong-Un (Keyboards) To Form His Own Group

http://25.media.tumblr.com/43fd4de8753b6f67f9c258653faaf85e/tumblr_mkfreha74x1r8asibo1_500.jpg Eat your heart out, Keith Emerson...

3
Titus 10.03.14 8:19pm
Squudge
Bermuda triangle on holiday in the south China sea. 0
Maverick 10.03.14 8:09pm
Maverick
Malaysian Airlines considering introducing the checking of passports. 0
Maverick 10.03.14 8:00pm
Maverick
Science Question #46 - Why doesn't chicken taste like chicken?

Our science correspondent answers, 'if chicken tasted like chicken, consumers wouldn't be able to tell it apart from beef, lamb, frog or goat. So to differentiate from those meats it is made to...

8
throngsman 10.03.14 7:22pm
Titus
First-time customers struggle to find location of Sat-Nav shop.

More soon. Hat-tip throngsman...

1
MADJEZ 10.03.14 7:20pm
deceangli
New crime drama promises to be bland, unrealistic

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/af/Villainc.svg A major new crime drama is set to distort reality into an easily understood narrative and present viewers with clear black and white...

0
Peter749400 10.03.14 7:14pm
Peter749400
Tony Christie gives up, releases 'Is This the Way to the Satnav Dealer's?' 1
sydalg 10.03.14 6:52pm
throngsman
Pocket guide to party leaders

Nick Clegg - in David Cameron's pocket, David Milliband - in David Cameron's pocket after next election, David Cameron - in Nigel Farage's pocket every time the Daily Mail picks up a new reader...

0
throngsman 10.03.14 6:49pm
throngsman
A Handy Guide to Party Leaders

Leader of the Labour party. Posh chap from privileged background, never worked, best friends with…, Leader of the Liberal Democrat party. Posh chap from privileged background, never worked, best...

10
vulture1 10.03.14 6:42pm
throngsman
Jimmy Savile “has ruined things for sexual predators”

A special meeting of Equity, the actors’ union, has heard that Operation Yewtree has ‘spoiled things’ for actors who finally make it on to TV. One soap actor, who has asked not to be named,...

2
deceangli 10.03.14 6:39pm
throngsman
Korean leader confuses would-be assassins with Kim Jong Deux, Trois, Quatre etc 1
sydalg 10.03.14 5:53pm
BewsNiscuit
Finland Renamed "Foneland" in Bid to Revive Fortunes of Nokia and Eriksson 0
BewsNiscuit 10.03.14 5:40pm
BewsNiscuit
Economy Poised to be as Shite as it was in 2008

A major financial think tank believes that the UK will improve its financial status from 'Blair and Brown' up to 'Shite', the first time it has achieved 'Shite' status since 2008. 'This is a great...

2
throngsman 10.03.14 5:16pm
Electrelane
NRA urges 24-hour handgun protection with 'Glock Around the Clock' ad 0
sydalg 10.03.14 5:15pm
sydalg
Flight MH370 David Blaine questioned 0
roybland 10.03.14 5:13pm
roybland
America up in arms after rifle ad is “sullied” by the use of “art”

America’s National Rifle Association is said to be “outraged” by the recent advertisement by a weapons firm showing a timelessly beautiful murder instrument being held by some gay Italian...

2
TobiasBV 10.03.14 5:02pm
deceangli
Tim Berners-Lee "a fake identity"

On the 25th anniversary of the invention of the World Wide Web, its creator Tim Berners-Lee has been exposed as a fake identity. "Berners-Lee" was created by a pack of stray cats that hung around...

6
Andy Gilder 10.03.14 3:58pm
Wrenfoe
Gamers excited by launch of ‘Zombie Mexican Drug Lord’

As part of a clever marketing campaign, EA Games have arranged for Michoacan police to gun down one of the ‘walking dead’ and part-time notorious criminal, ‘El Mas Loco’. Despite being...

0
Wrenfoe 10.03.14 3:32pm
Wrenfoe
Feminist: Tory Aides Need "A Good Slap"

Leading feminist Germaine Permanently-Angry has outraged aides to Tory MPs by calling them "whining Mummy's boys" who need "a good slap from Matron" to sort them out. She told friends on Facebook...

1
Andy Gilder 10.03.14 3:27pm
Electrelane
UKIP / Lib Dem pact : Romanians and Bulgarians to get free cars

An unlikely alliance between the Liberal Democrats and UKIP has formed after Nick Clegg and Nigel Farage met to discuss the terms of their debates on Europe., At a joint press conference, both...

0
Not Amused 10.03.14 3:15pm
Not Amused
Kim Jong-un wins North Korean election after recount...

Kim Jong-un received an unflattering 99.99% of the vote, despite voting being mandatory in North Korea and there being only one name on the ballot paper. “Heads will roll”, the Great Leader said....

1
Tripod 10.03.14 2:29pm
Wrenfoe
Vegetarian Harman explains: "I thought they said they were peadophiles" 0
sydalg 10.03.14 1:34pm
sydalg
Eric Pickles: An Apology

The publishers of this website would like to apologise unreservedly to Communities Secretary Eric Pickles for inadvertently linking him with the Paedophile Information Exchange. We are happy to...

5
Andy Gilder 10.03.14 1:00pm
Andy Gilder
Gallagher wins gold, but Liam says he's 'still shit' 1
Electrelane 10.03.14 12:58pm
irreverendJ