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Terrorist asked "does my bomb look big in this"? More soon. 5
Al OPecia 3 years
Clinton goes down. 'Not for the first time, the bastard' says Hilary. 0
pinxit 3 years
Test closure of Thames Flood Barrier defeated by unusually large turd 2
seymour totti 3 years

As part of the preparations for the Olympic Games, a test closure of the Thames Flood Barrier was scheduled over the weekend to check on the response times in case of a terrorist incident. However,...

Economy and family at top of Queen's Speech-How much do you want for your Gran? 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Boys refuse to play with German girl, or give toys back 5
Yikes 3 years

Angela, 7, of Berlin was in tears today as two of her best friends, Nicolas and Evangelos, again failed to either play with her, or return her skipping rope and bouncy ball that she lent them some...

House of Lords reform to be followed by Cameron & Clegg reforming House of Pain 0
charlies_hat 3 years

or House of Love?...

Google unveils first driverless government 4
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

Technology giant Google has unveiled the world's first fully driverless government at a glitzy press conference at a factory in Essex. 'We have completed a two-year pilot of the new driverless...

‘My word, what a thoroughly nice young man the arresting officer was’ 0
Midfield Diamond 3 years


Brand glitch sees Launch of new Internet overnight sensation delayed to Q1 2013 0
ronseal 3 years

The creation of the next big overnight success story, following an organic and spontaneous reaction to a bloke off the street who just happened to strike a chord with the nation, is to be delayed...

American-English Defence League champions to issue new color kit in the fall. 1
wallster 3 years

Inspired by the words of The Mighty Thor...

Travolta hoping for happy ending to court action 0
charlies_hat 3 years
English Offence League plead not guilty 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Holiday organiser that sells newspapers revealed as double agent 0
Sinnick 3 years
Bean eating champion detained on suspicion of having explosive pants 1
beau-jolly 3 years
Scots diligently continuing research into doner kebab cancer cure 7
Haywood Manley 3 years
Underpants Bomber Debriefed By CIA 0
charlieworth 3 years
Frustrated suppliers unable to bill Clintons 0
bonjonelson 3 years
Cameron throws bucket of wee over Nick Robinson from top floor window of No. 10 0
Eskimo 3 years

The prime minister was today in further trouble after attempting to shoo Nick Robinson, the BBC Political editor, away from Downing Street by throwing a bucketful of urine at him from the top floor...

Human rights activists demand end to Anglian Water Board 0
Bismarck 3 years

in clerical mix-up "We have to stop them inflicting this torture on ordinary people" says spokesman...

CIA suicide bomber triple agent seeks tribunal ruling over unfair defusing 0
cinquecento 3 years
English Defence League say there is a vas deferens between them and the BNP 0
virtuallywill 3 years

no more later...

CIA reveal Al Qaeda Yemini mole is Cat Stevens 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

Spyring has broken!...

New microfibre-semtex hybrid makes incendiary panty line less visible 7
ronseal 3 years

A new to-die-for range of incendiary panty line brief bombs threatens to fly off the shelves at outlets of the Taliban's favourite shop, Martyrs and Spinsters. The range of exploding underwear, a...

Queen's Speech disappoints movie fans: "Colin Firth was much better" 0
ErikP 3 years

"This was one sequel too far." says Michael Winner...

You pays your money...... 1
Jesse Bigg 3 years

for a buffoon in London and a bouffant at No. 10...

Swedish women pose greatest airline security threat 9
A Wagonload Of Monkeys 3 years

A top security expert has warned that Swedish women pose the greatest threat to airline safety following the discovery of a more sophisticated underwear bomb. "I have very specific and creditable...

Vatican issues yet more Papal Bull [edited re-sub] 1
dvo4fun 3 years

The Papal Noncio to the UK and Ireland today spoke of his concern about some of last week’s child sex abuse cover-up stories, at a conference for childcare professionals and some unidentified men...

France ditches austerity in favour of magic beans 1
Old Hat 3 years

Deluded Socialist mental-case, and president of france, Francois Hollande is to open the magic catacombs below the Eiffel Tower and extract the magic beans of Louis from within its depths. To...

General public step in to "keep law and order" as police stage protest march 2
Scroat 3 years

Home Secretary Theresa May was said to be "overwhelmed" with offers from the public to help at the protest march planned for Thursday in central London. "It really does show that deep down, the...

Study finds nobody cares about 99% of things others post on facebook 0
Dumbnews 3 years

Even more ironic, I stopped caring about things I post...