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Zoo workers training NHS nurses 2
roybland 3 years

Zoo workers are helping to train NHS nurses in the UK, the health secretary Andrew Lansley has announced.,  , Mr Lansley said that some zoo workers could fairly be described as 'angels', so...

Apple admit to accidentally haunting millions of iPhones in latest update 0
gaijintendo 3 years

The iOS update to version 5 was tainted with the spirits of former FOXXCON employees who were suicided for leaking trade secrets. Hmm. I feel like a socialist with a fold-able table and a loud...

OCD lottery winners hand back £1m of £101m 'to make it tidy' 4
Clarky 3 years
New Blockberry helps you look stylish while not taking any calls 0
ronseal 3 years

. There's a joke in there somewhere....

Blackberry outage leaves millions feeling unimportant 3
Dumbnews 3 years
RyanAir to offer no frills colostomy surgery to frequent flyers 4
witless 3 years

Keen to upstage Virgin Rails plan to encourage rush hour travellers to cuddle, shy and retiring boss Michael O'Leary has suggested taking out all but one of the toilets on his planes, to increase...

IKEA recalls catalogue after failing to point-out Swedish children not included 3
antharrison 3 years

Furniture giant IKEA today recalled its 2012 catalogue after many potential middle-class purchasers were disappointed to discover that the five and six year old child extras used to give depth to the...

News just in via Blackberry - Queen Victoria’s coach crashes in Blackwall Tunnel 2
witless 3 years

being pursued by paparazzi...

Steve Jobs to upgrade Moses' tablets. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Campaign for Better English calls for Water Regulator to be renamed "FromWat" 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Genitally ingested alcoholic beverages blamed for an increase in minge drinking. 10
wallster 3 years
Dr Conrad Murray appointed head of NHS Reforms 0
apepper 3 years

Michael Jackson's doctor, Conrad Murray has been appointed head of the controversial NHS reforms. "He's really impressed me", said Health Secretary Andrew Lansley, "and he seems just the man to push...

Closet Agoraphobic Finally Comes Out 0
kga6 3 years

Tony Bateman, trainee assistant stationary cupboard organiser, has finally been coaxed from his cupboard refuge after a 7 hour stand-off with colleagues at the HR department of Bedford Hospital. "We...

Facebook changes delights stalkers 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Fox To Inquiry: Did You Chaps Ever See "Fight Club"? It's A Bit Like That 0
Textbook 3 years
Bomber's plan descibed as 'absolute pants' 0
spoole2112 3 years

More later...

Poll shows Hitler more popular than man who created "Go Compare" adverts 5
JohnA 3 years

Please, the blasted adverts are just insurance comparison websites, one after the other...

Lunatic fringe bomb Barnet shop - police comb through wreckage 1
vertical 3 years

might need a trim. Going anywhere nice this weekend?...

Homeopathic sex therapist tells man to give his wife 0.000000001 3
Runestone Cowboy 3 years
London rioters in jail being retrained as stock takers 0
witless 3 years

easy for them to pick up claims Liberal think tank after dismissing recycling operatives idea...

Gay Lifestyle Magazine asks Do Trans Fats cause gender confusion? 0
vertical 3 years
indecisive potholer trapped between rock and hard plaice 3
witless 3 years

help is on its way...

Underpants bomber pleads dirty 0
virtuallywill 3 years

Bold later...

Underpants Bomber Previously Commando 5
thisisall1word 3 years
Cameron - "I love the Fantastic Mr. Fox." 0
delightfullyodd 3 years

PRIME Minister David Cameron today announced that he is a huge admirer of the Fantastic Mr. Fox and reads it to his children every night at bedtime. He said: "It's a tremendous book. In it he has...

Sharp Rise in Employment of Unemloyment counters 0
Rowly 3 years

As the Jobless figures increase, this has been partially offset by the increase in the number of people employed to count them. A recently employed spokesman for the unemployment registry said "I was...

Master baker's secret bread recipes kept on a kneed to know basis. 8
wallster 3 years
Plane bomber changes plea; "my pants were on fire" 0
apepper 3 years

More to follow...

Blackberry outage; if you've any ideas, you'll have to keep it to yourself 0
apepper 3 years

The Blackberry mobile phone network has collapsed; if you've a Blackberry phone and have lost service then, send a postcard or sealed envelope to Blackberry with the telephone number of the person...

Underwear bomber -"shitting it" about going to prison 0
simonjmr 3 years