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South Wales suffering under 6 feet of draught 1
beau-jolly 3 years
Schools could hit foreign language targets by becoming French. 0
Boutros 3 years

Schools could meet their foreign language targets by including the number of pupils learning English among the total of students studying a foreign language, it was announced today. To make the...

Austerity sees Greek version of 'The Apprentice' in the firing line 3
Perks 3 years

Greece’s version of the popular business contest ‘The Apprentice’ has descended into farce following cutbacks and austerity from the producers, and claims of cheating by some of the contenders....

Village in Gwynedd evacuated over damn risk 0
virtuallywill 3 years

more friggin news later...

Greece twinned with Broke, NSW 0
apepper 3 years

More to follow...

Porn stars urged to ‘adopt a wild merkin’ 4
3 years

Hairless porn stars are being urged to ‘do their bit’ for the endangered merkin, by offering them somewhere warm to hibernate for the winter. With fewer than 80 breeding pairs remaining in the...

Cameron may face 'war hero' embarrassment at Leveson Inquiry 1
roybland 3 years

Downing Street is demanding fairly strict security for David Cameron's appearance at the Leveson Inquiry on Thursday to stop demonstrators embarrassing the Prime Minister with 'war hero' plaudits....

EU happy as Spain to borrow billions, in same strategy that failed in Greece 0
virtuallywill 3 years

100 Billion Euros, to be worth £2 Billion in 2 years...

Guantanamo Bay’s reputation as extreme bondage paradise takes a battering 0
Yikes 3 years

Fans of extreme BDSM were in shock following the release of disturbing new pictures from the Cuban base showing nothing more interesting than occasional mild shackling. “The widespread humane...

Spotty, little schoolboy, Osbourne, says......... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

."Please, sir, it's not me making the mess, it's those big boys, out there in the playgroundI think."...

Daily Mail Exclusive; "dying early can prevent most diseases" 2
apepper 3 years

The Daily Mail revealed today that dying early is an ideal way of avoiding many diseases; a medical expert explained; "Diabetes, cancer, arthritis, you name it; statistics show that the likelihood of...

High jump competitor clears customs at Heathrow 0
Nerys Hughes 3 years

Tug-of-War team pulls out...

Hosepipe use now compulsory in some areas 0
Haywood Manley 3 years
Medieval musician arrested for luting. More soon. 4
dominic_mcg 3 years
Holidaymakers airlifted from caravan holiday hell 1
BabyDinosaur 3 years

Holiday makers in Wales have been rescued by the emergency services after large numbers of them suddenly realised that caravan holidays really are that bad...

John Terry compares Auschwitz experience with winning the Champions League 6
A Wagonload Of Monkeys 3 years

After visiting Auschwitz today with other members of the England squad John Terry spoke of how it put his achievement of single handedly winning the Champions League into perspective. "Having...

Spanish footballers to bail out Spanish banks 0
Drylaw 3 years
Adverts on Newsbicuit Writers page continue to be bizarrely irrelevant 0
virtuallywill 3 years

comfort in continuity...

Queen's Diamond Jubilee enthusiasts 'now feeling like twats' 3
roybland 3 years

People who backed the Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebrations say they now 'feel like complete twats'. 'What was all that about?' said Jack Peters who helped organize a street party and wore a plastic...

London man makes heroic decision to subscribe to online edition of newspaper 0
roybland 3 years

After years of indecision, an Islington man is paying £9.99 a month for access to the online edition of a national newspaper. Sam Pierce said he was still kept awake at night wondering if he'd made...

Fry-ups Under Fire As Ministers Favour Fags 0
Duff 3 years

The Coalition is intending to implement new legislation in relation to one of the nation's best-loved signature dishes - The Full English. And if the changes are green-lighted, then from July 2013 it...

Tom Windsor promises to take action on Police Operations Names. 0
Lemon difficult 3 years

Incoming Police Regulator today slammed the falling standards in Police Operations naming as the Met revealed a raft of serious crime task forces called Operation Thingy, wordswordswords and Your...

Prince Philip leaves hospital in time to offend foreigners at Euro 2012 0
apepper 3 years

A nation celebrates as Prince Philip will be able to go to Poland and offend foreigners after all...

Manchester man provides deep insight into Euro crisis 0
kga6 3 years

Terry Jenkins of Manchester unwittingly made an enemy of most of Britain with his accurate, but unfortunate, summation of the Greek crisis when interviewed by the BBC this week. "As far as I can...

Greek debt crisis solved through sale of alphabet to Apple 1
Nick McCarr 3 years

The continuing debt and currency crisis wracking Greece appears to have been solved this week with the sale of the Greek alphabet to Apple. Western countries have long been baffled by Greece's...

Autopsy reveals Robin Gibb had lethal levels of music in his blood 9
Yikes 3 years

As yet another prodigiously talented musician passed away before his time, medical experts are becoming more vocal in highlighting the health dangers of having music in the blood. At the coronial...

Dalai Lama surprised at omission of Rio Ferdinand from England squad 2
grottymonty 3 years
UEFA gets tough on racism by sticking fingers in ears and going "la-la-la". 2
seymour totti 3 years

More firm measures soon...

Zeus, God of rain & Lord of the sky intervenes in England cricket team selection 3
grottymonty 3 years

Following the England selectors outrageous decision to leave Jimmy Anderson out of the final test against the West Indies at Edgbaston, Zeus himself has intervened to ensure no one gets a bowl by...

Austerity cuts leave Greece with 10 men 0
Not Amused 3 years