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Mandella funeral interpreter apologizes for being all fingers and thumbs 0
Scronnyglonkle 13.12.13 8:13pm
Scronnyglonkle
Kim Jong-un denies ‘airbrushing’ enemies: “We have Photoshop”... 0
Tripod 13.12.13 8:12pm
Tripod
EU to rename Coal Tit "Solar Tit". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 13.12.13 6:42pm
Al OPecia
Michael Gove bags much coveted Herod role in Parliament Nativity 4
nyarlathotep 13.12.13 5:20pm
Rootin Tootin
North Korean pays ultimate price for "sound of one hand clapping" 0
wwwiz 13.12.13 4:04pm
wwwiz
Girl Enslaved By Siblings Groomed At Disco By Young Aristocrat With Foot Fetish - 2

All together now: "[i]Oh, no, she wasn't[/i]...

38
Titus 13.12.13 4:02pm
wwwiz
Queen to appear on "Celebrity Who Do You Think You Are ?" Christmas special.

The BBC revealed today that Her Majesty the Queen has agreed to appear on a "Who Do You Think You Are ?" Christmas special. A spokesman for the BBC said today that he was delighted that the Queen had...

2
ron.bruce 13.12.13 4:00pm
vulture1
Christmas Family Rows Start Early In North Korea

The Dear Leader, Kim Jon-un, recently unfriended his uncle Chang Song-thaek and then (of course, this being North Korea) promptly had him shot, thus decisively preempting any potential disruption or...

12
Titus 13.12.13 3:11pm
custard cream
Queen “Placed Iron Filings in Nut Bowls”

The Old Bailey was in shock today when it was revealed that The Queen placed iron filings in snack bowls placed around her private apartments in order to determine which patrolling officers had been...

2
james_doc 13.12.13 2:52pm
Titus
A&E units miss 4 hour target. Rogue units have been clocking 3 hours 50 seconds 0
weematt 13.12.13 1:21pm
weematt
Cameron executes Miliband

Heard he was planning to overthrow the government...

1
farmer giles 13.12.13 11:44am
Tripod
"The History Bots" Voted Nation's Favourite Gay Porn

News that The History Boys was voted the most popular play in the UK this week was given a double dose of good news when the pornographic version, The History Bots, was awarded the same accolade at...

4
james_doc 13.12.13 9:27am
james_doc
Interpreters to be replaced by Skippy the Bush Kangaroo

Following the debacle of the Mandela memorial being overshadowed by "fake" sign language, all future international events will be staffed by Australia’s ‘favourite joey’. Skippy will translate...

1
Wrenfoe 13.12.13 9:04am
Oxbridge
Exclusive: Prince Phillip's nuts. 0
Ref Minor 13.12.13 1:00am
Ref Minor
Thamsanqa Jantjie's version of the Macarena storms up the charts 0
irreverendJ 12.12.13 10:38pm
irreverendJ
Newsbiscuit welcomes its new cookery guru Fat Bastard

Good evening satire lovers everywhere. After a hard day sniggering at the misfortunes of others more fortunate than you what could be better than a nice bowl of "Prime Minister Soup?" First assemble...

0
vulture1 12.12.13 9:01pm
vulture1
Ignore PM comment judge says. 'I WOULD as well but that's irrelevent' 0
MADJEZ 12.12.13 6:34pm
MADJEZ
Woman always dressed in fitness attire unsure what to wear in the gym 1
Dumbnews 12.12.13 6:27pm
Dick Everyman
Judge advises members of the public to ignore the Prime Minister 0
NewBiscuit 12.12.13 4:03pm
NewBiscuit
Outrage as world leaders ignore man having epileptic fit at Mandela funeral. 0
FOAD 12.12.13 3:57pm
FOAD
Shares in Domino pizza and Kit Kat soar in Uruguay as marijuana legalised. 1
MADJEZ 12.12.13 3:56pm
FOAD
Obama cancels all overseas visits

US stock markets dropped like a stone today following reports that the President had cancelled all overseas visits until further notice. News agencies were buzzing with speculation that Obama had...

0
Starchy 12.12.13 3:47pm
Starchy
Scottish Yes Campaign Revealed to be Plot by Vexillology Industrial Complex

Politicians from across the spectrum were left stunned today, as it was revealed that the entire Scottish Independence Referendum campaign has been fabricated by a consortium of flag experts and...

0
Bigglesworth 12.12.13 2:28pm
Bigglesworth
Daily Mail Review: St. Francis's Nativity "a crime against theater"

Just last week this intrepid reporter was called upon to watch St. Francis's Nursery version of the Nativity for the simple reason that his daughter was playing Mary. Despite frequent arguments with...

0
WatcherMark 12.12.13 2:11pm
WatcherMark
Simu-Lady share price plummets after CEO reveals new "talking" sex doll

"We were pretty confident with our life-like lineup of simuLadies. We can't understand why our clients have reacted so badly to this magical new technology."...

0
gaijintendo 12.12.13 2:01pm
gaijintendo
Jose Mourinho devastated not to be named as Mandela's successor 0
custard cream 12.12.13 2:00pm
custard cream
Sign-language 'just bollocks' admit the deaf. 1
MADJEZ 12.12.13 1:57pm
custard cream
Dyslexic singer apologises to audience at Mandela memorial event

Apologies to MADJEZ for reworking his idea...

1
Sinnick 12.12.13 1:45pm
MADJEZ
Jury told to ignore PM's Nigella comments...

and anything ever utter by Ed Milliband...

0
raudus 12.12.13 1:37pm
raudus
Schizophrenic signer was in two minds whether to carry on. 0
MADJEZ 12.12.13 1:32pm
MADJEZ