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Pope Francis' first speech

We have just had Pope Francis' first speech translated from Latin into English 'Hello, it's me, Francis! No, don't laugh, madam - oh all right, please yourself! And with a husband like that, I'm not...

4
John Wiltshire 17.03.13 7:54pm
nickb
Tea Party welcomes alliance with Sarkozy to form Tea Sarkozy 6
nickb 17.03.13 7:53pm
nickb
Drug resistance on the up!

The Chief Medical Officer expressed concerns over the increased drug-resistance of laughter and giggling. Recreational drugs are just losing the ability to reduce users to stumbling, giggling and...

0
hero2zero 17.03.13 7:50pm
hero2zero
Massive earthquake in Pakistan causes millions of pounds worth of improvement 15
Scoby Watson 17.03.13 7:49pm
nickb
London potholes filled in on marathon course with tar for the course 0
godly1966 17.03.13 7:49pm
godly1966
New Papacy “to be modelled on the career of Frankie Howerd”.

“Francis, that’s what I want you to call me. No. Oooh. Yes. Mmmm. Well!” Some members of the Sunday throng of worshippers in St Peter’s Square confessed to being “confused” by the...

4
nickb 17.03.13 7:12pm
nickb
Chef stripped of celebrity after admitting any old frying pan okay for omlettes

More soon (nod to ongoing topic in chat room)...

1
Nowherefast 17.03.13 3:40pm
Squudge
Papal Bull gives you wings. 0
MADJEZ 17.03.13 3:27pm
MADJEZ
Religious Art Corner (animation)

http://i830.photobucket.com/albums/zz223/pinxit2/cafespike/francispope_anim_zpscdb4ee03.gif...

14
pinxit 17.03.13 2:34pm
Midnight Dreary
Chipping Norton soup kitchen 'sets the standard' says Cameron

Prime Minister David Cameron has praised the work of Chipping Norton’s new soup kitchen citing it as a model for emergency food provision across the UK. Following recent criticism for not meeting...

5
Dick Everyman 17.03.13 1:42pm
writinginbsl
First message from Pope Francis tests positive for Papal Bull 1
AReader 17.03.13 1:12pm
sponge finger
As expected, father enrols on a golfing NVQ 7
charlies_hat 17.03.13 11:14am
Squudge
MP 'not drunk' at Commons karaoke 'has let us all down' - say MPs

The House of Commons has issued a statement reacting angrily after the arrest of Eric Joyce at the Commons karaoke night, after he denied being drunk at the time of the incident. "There is no way...

1
Squudge 17.03.13 10:48am
sponge finger
Failed search for adoptive father was Pa for the Corrs, say Irish orphans

.., Neat-O; there's no other excuse...

2
cinquecento 17.03.13 10:45am
Squudge
Volkswagen announce new, all-electric model, the, "E-up"

A spokesman explained the name was out of respect for a UK North-country expression!...

2
hero2zero 17.03.13 10:10am
hero2zero
Pope Francis admits to “Batman influence”

Pope Francis in his first of a series of candid interviews with the press let it be known that as a child growing up in the slums of Buenos Aires, his favourite pastime was dressing up as Batman....

0
bumtrinket 17.03.13 10:00am
bumtrinket
Red wine 'offers life beyond the grave' say doctors

A small daily glass of red wine can help improve the chance of life after death according to research published in the medical journal 'The Lance-it!' The health benefits of drinking moderate...

2
roybland 17.03.13 9:39am
Titus
Jobs to go, but not all

Job Centre chiefs are serious it seems about getting an area's workless into better jobs. Bosses in Dewsbury have drawn up plans to get three people into work over the next 1,000 years [check this]....

6
Mik Bulk 17.03.13 9:27am
Yikes
Vegetarian eats meaty pizza and blames everyone else

A vegetarian has annoyed pretty much everyone by buying a pizza containing meat, then refusing to take responsibility for his actions. Mr. Job S. Worth (of 1 Bureaucrat Place, T05 5ER) mistakenly...

4
camz 17.03.13 9:12am
Yikes
Vatican declares that pope emeritus will be put out to stud 2
FlashArry 17.03.13 8:50am
Tripod
Flat pack furniture kit had parts missing - honestly, you couldn't make it up 0
Smart Alex 17.03.13 1:30am
Smart Alex
Theoretical mathematicians just there to make up the numbers 4
Smart Alex 17.03.13 1:26am
Smart Alex
National Secular Society declared non prophet organisation 5
custard cream 16.03.13 9:59pm
writinginbsl
National Health Service "In Two Minds About Schizophrenia" 1
Flash! Aa-aaaa! 16.03.13 9:45pm
Tripod
Debrett's confirms that George Osborne's surname should be pronounced "As Been"

Sorry George - we love you really. Not...

0
deskpilot3 16.03.13 9:42pm
deskpilot3
The pope's new encyclical - Habebimus Malvinas

Here is the text of the pope's first encyclical, Habebimus Malvinas. Habebimus, Malvinas! Nos mos invadere in quattuor hebdomadas tempus et caedes omnis homo Jack Britannicae spumae! Nos mos...

12
John Wiltshire 16.03.13 9:22pm
Flash! Aa-aaaa!
David Cameron says "Vote for UKIP and get Labour"

To a packed conference of over 90 people he went on " Also Vote Lib Dem and the Tories will get in (cheers from audience) BUT Vote Conservative and The Monster Raving Looney Party might then be in...

0
Flash! Aa-aaaa! 16.03.13 9:17pm
Flash! Aa-aaaa!
Scientists find "Common Link That Makes People Criminals

Dr Heinrich Wolfgang Schumaker Err-Smith of University College Of Further Education An 'Ting believes he now sees the one thing criminals have in common., "It is undeniably the fault of bad...

0
Flash! Aa-aaaa! 16.03.13 9:04pm
Flash! Aa-aaaa!
Mathematicians find that eating too much pi gives you a large circumference 3
custard cream 16.03.13 7:35pm
Smart Alex
. 9
dvo4fun 16.03.13 6:34pm
godly1966