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DAILY EXPRESS: 'SUPER STORM HUNGRY FOR FLESH'

The Daily Express has urged the nation to 'brace itself' for a 'fucking massive storm'. A low pressure system is set to hit the UK coastline sometime in December and may last over Christmas and New...

3
Mr Orca 09.12.13 3:20pm
Mr Orca
Gareth Southgate announced as new world leader

We wanted JFK or Nelson Mandela and we got Gareth Southgate, say gospel singers...

0
farmer giles 09.12.13 3:09pm
farmer giles
Looking to give a caring, unique gift this Christmas?

For just £3 a month you can adopt a badger and save it from persecution., In some parts of the world these cuddly zebra faced creatures are being hunted to extinctiontheir hair revered by men of a...

0
raudus 09.12.13 2:55pm
raudus
Shock as Barmy Army sing "Mitchell Johnson your bowling is really very good" 2
AReader 09.12.13 2:53pm
AReader
Iain Duncan Smith to stand down at next election

“I’ll be better off on the dole” claimed the benefits system reform bodger, often referred to by his initials ‘IDS’. PM David Cameron paid tribute to ‘the quiet man’, who has quietly...

3
farmer giles 09.12.13 2:23pm
farmer giles
Susan Boyle Ass-burgers not selling as well as hoped admit McDonalds. 1
MADJEZ 09.12.13 1:05pm
Wrenfoe
Petrol stations stock-up to capitalise on 'last minute dad shopping'

Petrol stations up and down the country are preparing to cash in on the lucrative market of ‘last minute dad shopping’, by stocking-up on Cadbury’s Selection Boxes, dubious Peppa Pig...

5
Jesus H 09.12.13 1:03pm
Wrenfoe
Mail exclusif: Zut Alors! Nouvelles biscuit inondé par des immigrants français

plus rapidement...

2
ginty 09.12.13 12:40pm
AReader
Miracle Mandela image found in toast, chapati and sweet potato simultaneously 0
Loundshay 09.12.13 12:35pm
Loundshay
Thousands of teenagers grounded after becoming stuck in ‘sleep mode’

Many youngsters were unable to take off with their mates yesterday due to still being asleep. All attempts to wake them from their slumbers proved ineffective, leaving them stranded where they lay. ...

3
Midfield Diamond 09.12.13 12:26pm
james_doc
Josef Stalin named as Labour candidate for Falkirk.

A slight problem with all those votes cast by dead left wingers. Someone to expand please?...

2
miked10270 09.12.13 9:34am
miked10270
'Sickening’ scenes as lefties mourn dead foreign terrorist

There has been widespread anger as the British liberal elite – many of whom treated the death of the Blessed Margaret Thatcher earlier this year with complete indifference - have lined up to pay...

15
Oxbridge 09.12.13 8:00am
Yikes
TV psychic driving under influence of spirits. More soon.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-25291231...

3
dominic_mcg 09.12.13 1:21am
Ref Minor
Dalai Lama Seeks New Agent After Days Of Wall-To-Wall Mandela Coverage 0
Titus 08.12.13 10:52pm
Titus
Cameron receives huge bag of prawn crackers after Chinese nuclear plant order 5
Basil_B 08.12.13 10:12pm
deskpilot3
TV 'Psychic' breath test reveals...

he's a fraudulent twat - who can't drive...

0
raudus 08.12.13 9:48pm
raudus
Santa Franchise Sold Off By Government To Amazon

Redundancy deal for elves and reindeer still being disputed...

0
Titus 08.12.13 9:34pm
Titus
MPs fake horror at 11% payrise

Sniggering on the inside...

1
Coco 08.12.13 9:26pm
Titus
"I never saw it coming" claims car crash TV psychic.

more in the future...

2
spoole2112 08.12.13 9:15pm
godly1966
Clearasil arrested over football 'spot-fixing' scam. 1
MADJEZ 08.12.13 9:12pm
godly1966
Pundits judge "Mandela grief orgy" over quicker than your first hand job.

Now it's time...

6
rikkor 08.12.13 9:12pm
rikkor
UK Airports "back to normal disruption". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 08.12.13 7:29pm
Al OPecia
Fears grow for Santa “Christmas drop”

Contingency plans were being put in place today after concerns were raised about a possible repeat of the telephone failure which grounded planes earlier this week. Santa Claus, head of the...

0
Coco 08.12.13 4:18pm
Coco
Woman who bought fake Christmas tree haunted by eco guilt

Jenny Devereaux's purchase of a fake Christmas tree his year has left her guilt-ridden and worried that she may have tipped the planet into environmental meltdown. And the tree has split the...

0
roybland 08.12.13 3:53pm
roybland
Obituary: Nelson Mandela - 2

Nelson Mandela, the Che Guevara of the middle classes, has died in South Africa, aged 95, after a long battle against a lung infection. Born in 1918 in a stable in Bethlehem, this unassuming farm...

36
jamsieoconnor 08.12.13 2:34pm
AReader
Introspection Society should "stop navel-gazing and look outward"

More soon, if I feel like it...

0
AReader 08.12.13 2:27pm
AReader
Mandela Death Latest: He's still dead

Mandela Death Latest: He's still dead...

0
Bentley 08.12.13 1:54pm
Bentley
Shock as RSPCA discover Norton Antivirus has been killing millions of pups. 0
godly1966 08.12.13 1:47pm
godly1966
American drone strikes hit Buddhist mandalas for 'disrespecting St. Nelson.' 0
FOAD 08.12.13 12:48pm
FOAD
Advertisers ask 'Is it too soon to cash in on Mandela?'

As the inevitable squabble over Nelson Mandela's estate descends into chaos, advertising agencies have been left on tenterhooks awaiting the appropriate time to trample over his legacy. Untroubled by...

9
Wrenfoe 08.12.13 11:08am
Gerontius