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Man City's progress in european masterbating competition 'in their own hands' 0
Perks 3 years
Phone box relocation causes uproar in Sark dogging groups 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

The tiny island of Sark, population around 600, surprisingly has a thriving dogging community. Unhindered by the fact that there are no motor vehicles allowed on the island, the carefree sex sect...

US border patrols increased as Mariachi band found in Rock n' Roll hall of fame 1
3 years

US President Barack Obama has been forced into an embarrassing climb-down on border policies, after a Mariachi band was found inside the Rock n' Roll hall of fame. Hiding deep inside a philosophical...

Northern Irish women prefer C-sections so they don't have to say "vagina". 1
Al OPecia 3 years
Leveson inquiry attempts to appeal to wider audience as "The Only Way Is Ethics" 3
Ian Searle 3 years
Spot checks on teenagers reveal spots 0
nickb 3 years
Rio Ferdinand to solve more of the world’s problems via Twitter 2
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Fresh from tackling FIFA President Sepp Blatter over racism, Manchester United defender Rio Ferdinand is set to debate more weighty issues with prominent public figures. From the Eurozone crisis,...

Hello seeks injunction to stop publication of Leveson enquiry photos 0
ianslat 3 years

Celebrity magazine Hello has today sought a court injunction to prevent its rival OK! publishing photos of this week’s Leveson enquiry. ‘We’ve paid millions for exclusive rights’ explained...

I'm a Celebrity contestants claim their conversations are being listened to. 2
Ian Searle 3 years
Lower End Of Fleet Street To Cut Out Reporters......... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

..And sell toilet paper to man in the street...

Kim Kardashian's bottom blamed for economic crisis 0
Shandy 3 years

Kim Kardashian's curvy derrière appears to be the latest scapegoat for the economic crisis, as government officials have revealed that every meeting they have about the economy just turns into an...

Deer more recognisable than haggis in Scotland 0
grottymonty 3 years

Report claims that the deer is now the most recognisable Scottish wild animal...

Shock as psychic Russel Grant fails to predict the demise of his own career 0
Shandy 3 years

A wave of shock has swept the psychic world as esteemed medium Russel Grant failed to predict the slow erosion of his own pitiful career. Psychic Grant has made a living from issuing vague...

Victoria Beckham finally smiles after pout surgery 0
vertical 3 years

poutectomy?...

"What do you mean, he isn't a dwarf?!" asks stunned Merchant 0
medici2471 3 years
Mrs Alan Johnson also faces the sack 3
medici2471 3 years
Come Dine With Me voiceover to I Have A Dream speech 'may have been a mistake' 0
Oxbridge 3 years

Campaigners have admitted that, in retrospect, they should not have invited comedy voicover actor Dave Lamb to supply a series of camp and sarcastic interjections during Dr Martin Luther King's...

Problem looms over poor cloth making machines 0
apepper 3 years

Many British cloth making machines are faulty. Asked if this problem was looming a spokesman said, "That's what I've just said, cloth ears."...

Pat Sharp explains he actually said he would "dismember and burn JEDWOOD!" 0
Ian Searle 3 years

Country rallies behind him...

Atheist Pavlovian researcher launches Salivation Army. 6
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

Hat-tip to Medici...

Teenage rebel walked out after failing to upset parents 5
Midfield Diamond 3 years

Missing student Charlie Bradfield may have left home because his parents approved of everything he did, according to his closest friends. "Charlie did his best to provoke his old man and got really...

Electric cars can be charged overnight from solar cells, claims Minister 0
Ostsee 3 years
Microsoft Bankrupted By Man Trademarking The Phrase ‘Fragment (Consider Revising 2
UnoEye 3 years

The IT industry was left in shock yesterday after the collapse of the software giant Microsoft when unemployed Dave Digby from Felixstowe trademarked the phrase ‘Fragment (consider revising)’....

TV Chat Show Host Replaced By Talking Arse 0
Fray Brentos 3 years

In a drive to cut costs at the BBC, producers have been forced to pull Graham Norton off. Sorry, have been forced to pull Graham Norton off his prime-time Friday night slot., Beeb bosses announced...

Missing Scandanavian airline pilot 'just disappeared into Finnair' 5
Smart Alex 3 years
Bellringer's ASBO overturned on a peal 1
vertical 3 years

dusting out back corners of my gag store, why do camp anologists always practise at 7.30am on a saturday...

Lord Gaga Calls Time on 'Uncontrollable" Wife 0
Fray Brentos 3 years

The elaborate stage performances and headline-grabbing costumes of Lady Gaga could well be consigned to the annals of history following the discovery of her antics by Lord Gaga, 4th Marquis of...

Use of placebos can produce sugar dependence, claims BMA. 0
Griffin 3 years
Ricky Gervais not a bigot, claims dwarf 3
Sam 3 years

A high profile dwarf has defended Ricky Gervais against accusations of bigotry, before being pushed over and laughed at by Gervais himself. “Ricky likes to play around with traditional notions of...

Spanish fisherman denies he castanet 1
woody 3 years

definately no more soon...