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Trident Deterrent To Be Replaced By Eric Joyce 0
Mike Turbine-Hamilton 05.04.13 10:15pm
Mike Turbine-Hamilton
Traffic chaos as French chefs converge on roads near Aintree 0
AReader 05.04.13 10:10pm
AReader
"Unwarranted Concern" About The Number Of Bs In Britain

"Britain has just as many as Belgium, Bhutan and Zambia" said Roland Davidson, spokesman for the Toxic Chemical Corporation. "France, Germany and Switzerland have none at all, and they're doing just...

0
Titus 05.04.13 9:26pm
Titus
Children with measles easily spotted, says Chief Medical Officer. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 05.04.13 9:20pm
Titus
Osborne parking "a product of Westminster culture", says Mick Philpott 1
sydalg 05.04.13 9:15pm
1leonardo
Match.com create 35 billion "winks" in latest round of quantitative teasing 1
1leonardo 05.04.13 9:01pm
BewsNiscuit
Finish dishwasher tablets declared weapon of destruction 0
custard cream 05.04.13 8:03pm
custard cream
"Chavettes Day" scheduled for Aintree 2014 following huge success of 2013 pilot.

more chavettes soon, unfortunately...

0
BewsNiscuit 05.04.13 7:46pm
BewsNiscuit
'Surgical paralysis? - I've already had my spine removed', says Clegg 1
custard cream 05.04.13 7:42pm
Al OPecia
Terrible news for Swansea kids: first measles, then they realise they’re Welsh 0
Tripod 05.04.13 6:45pm
Tripod
Geordie Shore to be replaced by the classier Great British Shag Off, says MTV. 0
dominic_mcg 05.04.13 6:37pm
dominic_mcg
Kim Jong Un daring us to laugh at his haircut, say terrified South Koreans 0
sydalg 05.04.13 6:27pm
sydalg
Man slowly mutating into sofa described by doctors as 'comfortable' 0
Smart Alex 05.04.13 6:22pm
Smart Alex
Reward offered after Go Compare singer found stabbed to death in street

£50,000 to whoever did it...

2
baron la croix 05.04.13 6:01pm
godly1966
Local man shares his anti-technology writings on his blog 0
Dumbnews 05.04.13 5:46pm
Dumbnews
Michael Barrymore launches new swimwear range 1
victimms 05.04.13 5:08pm
reforse
Kinks claim Di Canio is just a Dedicated Follower of Fascism

sorry, i know it's dragging on a bit...

1
bonjonelson 05.04.13 4:40pm
charlies_hat
Nothing wrong with fascist principles claims Referees’ Association

Following the uproar over his appointment as new Sunderland manager, Paolo di Canio has received support from an unexpected source. The national Referees’ Association has issued a statement...

2
Midfield Diamond 05.04.13 3:30pm
dvo4fun
Bank of England Planning for Potential British Exit from Pound Sterling

Sir Mervyn King, Governor of the Bank of England, has revealed that he has been asked to draw up plans in the, increasingly likely scenario, that Britain will have to leave the Pound., Great Britain...

0
thisisall1word 05.04.13 3:25pm
thisisall1word
Di Canio refuses to talk about football, will only discuss fascism...

The new Sunderland manager won’t discuss the on-pitch exploits of his team, preferring to offer a stiff-armed salute and the prospect of “blood, sweat and tears”. When asked about next week’s...

0
Tripod 05.04.13 2:25pm
Tripod
Carlos Tevez punishment of 250 hrs playing for Man City described as very tough. 0
JoeBradley 05.04.13 1:38pm
JoeBradley
Relief as Kim Jong Un postpones war till Downton Abbey series ends 0
sydalg 05.04.13 1:17pm
sydalg
Funeral directors offer two-for-one deal in dead giveaway. 0
sredni vashta 05.04.13 12:55pm
sredni vashta
“Rogue” Bieber Announces “Second Coming”

After seemingly having come to believe his own marketing, Canadian teen pop-let Justin Bieber announced on Twitter yesterday that he is in fact the incarnated son of the Lord Almighty. @justinbieber...

0
Ablative Fabsolute 05.04.13 12:18pm
Ablative Fabsolute
‘Lager Tourettes’ formally recognised by British Medical Council

The temporary affliction suffered by lager drinkers across the country which causes their language to deteriorate rapidly during a pub session has been officially designated as a medical condition. ...

0
Midfield Diamond 05.04.13 11:34am
Midfield Diamond
HOROSCOPE 5th April 2013

HOROSCOPE 5th April 2013, By Colin the Cosmic Cockerel. ARIES. It will be cold.. TAURUS. It will be cold. GEMINI. It will be cold. CANCER. It will be cold. LEO. It will be cold. VIRGO. It will...

0
godly1966 05.04.13 10:58am
godly1966
Cameron declares welfare recipients to be new ‘axis of evil’

An influential Daily Mail article by AN Wilson declaring child murderer Mick Philpott to be “pure evil born out of welfare dependency” has encouraged the government to bring forward drastic new...

5
DustyBinLaden 05.04.13 10:50am
Not Amused
'I had sex with a chicken'

said a cockerel, yesterday. Fair enough...

1
Thewoodenleg 05.04.13 10:50am
godly1966
Take Heart

Heart surgery to restart at Leeds General after surgeons manage to complete "Operation" game without triggering the buzzer...

0
irreverendJ 05.04.13 10:36am
irreverendJ
Tevez to take up Barton's number ten HI-Vis shirt

Could play as sweeper?...

3
Nosey 05.04.13 10:34am
dvo4fun