Topic — Add New » Comments Votes Author Last Comment
Justin Welby abandons prayers for St Jude's storm as "lost cause"

More later...

0
Coco 27.10.13 5:40pm
Coco
Lou Reed mourned by only man to buy Velvet’s first LP and not start a band... 0
Tripod 27.10.13 5:38pm
Tripod
St Jude's storm reported to be suffering performance anxiety. 2
Squudge 27.10.13 4:39pm
Squudge
CERN scientists inadvertently discover 'unexpectium' - the element of surprise

Probably been done elsewhere but what the hey...

7
Idiot 27.10.13 4:23pm
Maverick
Landslide Victory for Michael Gove in Great British Fuck Off Phone Vote

The British Public have a new champion tonight. Michael scored highly in the signature round where he signed his name with a pleasingly pseudo-Latin sobriquet. Tensions rose in the technical...

3
areileen 27.10.13 2:53pm
areileen
Mastermind Chair's Footstool also arrested on pedophilia charges. More soon.

Thanks to the Swan...

5
Al OPecia 27.10.13 2:34pm
Squudge
Late inventor of doner kebab to receive "unique" cremation in tribute. 1
Andrew Alexander 27.10.13 1:32pm
Ref Minor
Hurricanes 'Not Expected' in Hertford, Hereford, and Hampshire says Prof Higgins 2
deceangli 27.10.13 12:48pm
deceangli
Agoraphobic boarders spend Christmas term indoors 1
Ironduke 27.10.13 12:36pm
AReader
Toilets theft spree. The police have nothing to go on.

Toilets theft spree. The police have nothing to go on...

9
en-hen-man 27.10.13 12:19pm
beau-jolly
Bomb Disposal Unit admit that diffusing homeopathic bomb made matters worse. 1
andhrimnir 27.10.13 12:07pm
Titus
Mastermind chair arrested in Operation Yewtree swoop

The famous black chair from quiz show, Mastermind, has been arrested on suspicion of hundreds of counts of indecent assault between 1972 and 2013. Police arrested the chair in a pre-dawn raid at...

8
jamsieoconnor 27.10.13 11:59am
Al OPecia
Warning That Forecasts Of Gales Are "A Big Wind Up" - But Up Where, is Unknown. 0
Titus 27.10.13 11:44am
Titus
Urgent Gail Warning: 'It's all Off Tonight, Gail - the Wife's Come Home Early'.

Old joke alert...

0
Titus 27.10.13 11:42am
Titus
Gales Cacelled Owing To Government Cutbacks

"We can't afford gales nowadays" said a spokesman for the PM's office this morning "At least, not on our own. If we want gales, from now on we will have to contract them out to other countries,...

0
Titus 27.10.13 11:40am
Titus
Overbearing men prepare to add 'weather' to their ever-growing list of expertise

Facebook newsfeeds and families across the UK are preparing for a barrage of obscure and questionably-pronounced weather terminology today, as thousands of men prepare to add the subject of...

0
Jesus H 27.10.13 11:18am
Jesus H
The Sun to replace page three models

The editor of The Sun announced today that the newspaper would cease to publish topless pictures of models on page three. A landmark statement said that "the time has come to move on from seemingly...

0
exigo 27.10.13 10:59am
exigo
NSA admits Cameron "not important enough" to have his phone monitored 1
Smart Alex 27.10.13 10:54am
Titus
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT - Putting the Clocks Back

People of Britain, your iPhones, Internet computers, and telly will TELL you what time it is. Stop faffing. That is all. [Brought to you by the Ministry for Common Sense]...

2
Squudge 27.10.13 10:17am
Squudge
NSA: Merkel talked in code, could have been another language

America's National Security Agency has confirmed claims that it bugged Angela Merkel's phoen for 2 years, but said it didn't understand a word. "She was talking in this, like, code or something",...

1
deceangli 27.10.13 10:15am
Squudge
Existence of God to be decided by baking contest

Professor Richard Dawkins and the Archbishop of Canterbury have announced they are going to settle their differences “like men”, with a baking showdown on live TV that'll end the God controversy...

1
sydalg 27.10.13 9:40am
deceangli
Gardener delighted to get an extra flower in bed 0
Smart Alex 27.10.13 9:05am
Smart Alex
Clocks go back: dyslexic pre-menstrual lady bit snappy after suffering from GMT

More contrived news soon...

0
Smart Alex 27.10.13 9:04am
Smart Alex
Maggie Thatcher to rise from the grave for one final hurrah on October 31 0
simonjmr 27.10.13 9:01am
simonjmr
Storm warning latest: When walking through storm, hold head up, Scousers told 0
ronseal 27.10.13 8:22am
ronseal
Saudi woman lost in desert after mistaking sheet of sandpaper for sat-nav... 4
Tripod 27.10.13 6:58am
Sinnick
Ashes of homeopath buried at sea "should create a .00000000000% solution" 0
sydalg 27.10.13 12:57am
sydalg
Kebab inventor a goner 2
Idiot 26.10.13 10:42pm
Landfill
Saudi women protest with parallel parking marathon... 2
Tripod 26.10.13 8:33pm
Maverick
Kebab inventor may be organ doner 0
Squudge 26.10.13 7:59pm
Squudge