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Sponsorship & 400m Hamburger Hurdles are "completely unrelated" claim organisers 5
NewSuburbanDad 3 years

Olympic organisers strongly denied yesterday that their newest track event, in which runners pursue a speeding wire-pulled hamburger before wrestling rivals to the death for a bite of it, was in any...

David Beckham 'disappointed' with consolation role as Olympic bag-checker 0
Catch32 3 years
English defence league take over Olympic security as G4S phone in sick. 1
The Masked Frog 3 years

A week is a long time in politics. And so is a day. A day in which we have seen the entire workforce of security firm G4S phone in sick in the morning, and in the afternoon the entire English Defence...

Home Secretary not quite 100% about where she lives. 0
rustytruss 3 years
Hornby Model Railways awarded contract for electrification of Midland mainline 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Torch relay on Isle of Wight told to "PUT THAT LIGHT OUT" 0
Tomfinger 3 years

Don't you know there's a war on?...

Olympic Village fete opens with whack the rat: Team GB take first Goldfish 1
charlies_hat 3 years

Hat tip to Button who seems to be in bed with everyone at the moment...

Chris Brown pens new porn novel 'Seven Shades of Shit' 0
bonjonelson 3 years
2012 TV spoof slammed for not even getting close to a spoof. 0
Boutros 3 years

BBC apologists have rallied round in support of the TV comedy 2012. "We briefed the writers to make it far-fetched but we simply could not have predicted cock-ups on such a grand scale. Scripts were...

Troops to get Olympics Conflict medals 2
Boutros 3 years

Soldiers serving in the militarised East London Province will be awarded medals on completion of their Olympics tour of duty, the Defence Secretary announced today. The move virtually guarantees...

50 Squirrels of Grey - an insight into Team GB Squirrel licking squad 2
simonjmr 3 years
Boris Johnson wins landslide election as London 2012 Olympic Village Idiot 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Woman arrested as 'terrorist' after not caring about Olympic torch in her street 0
kimllfixit 3 years
Olympic security guards fail "trainers are ok" test 6
NewSuburbanDad 3 years

G4S  group confirmed today it had taken on an extra 3,500 personnel to safeguard Olympic sites,  but could not deploy them due to dress code interpretation difficulties. Recruits are struggling to...

Tour de France cyclists blame P.M. Hollande for increase in road tacks 3
Tomfinger 3 years

please accept my sincere apologies. I'm 84 you know...

Isle of Wight residents shocked by Olympic Torch relay : "It's still 1948 then?" 0
FlashArry 3 years

more, but not too soon...

Future of 'World’s fastest traffic jam' is secure, says Bernie Ecclestone. 4
dvo4fun 3 years

“Of course there’s always a risk of a selfish egotist making headlines by breaking the overtaking ban, but most drivers were well behaved” said F1’s marketing supremo after reviewing...

Solar flares attacked as being "So 1970s" 0
apepper 3 years

Fashion experts, Trinny and Susannah have reacted with disdain to the increased solar activity. "Flares? No way they should be seen again."...

Isle of Wight to get steam trains. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Calls for new goal-line technology to also detect irony and sarcasm. More soon. 0
DorsetBoy 3 years

(Wish I had time to develop further. Anyone welcome to run with it.)...

MPs directed to address Bob Diamond as "Bobby Baby" at his next hearing. 0
Scroat 3 years
Soldiers Volunteer To Return To Afghanistan 16
HIGNFY 3 years

The Ministry of Defence has confirmed reports that many soldiers have slapped in requests to return to Afghanistan early rather than be deployed in London during the Olympics. Commanding Officers...

China offers 2 million security guards for free 1
gaztop 3 years

Major Yung Wong Su from the Chinese Peoples Employment Bureau has offered to send the United Kingdom two million of its unemployed Scientists to work as security guards at the London Olympic Village....

Tesco to compete with Quorn with new Disappointing Meat range 1
gaijintendo 3 years

the new Tesco Everyday Value ham slices will emulate the taste of Quorn without the need to actually stop eating meat...

Olympic Games in last minute switch to Afghanistan to improve security. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Police foil evil terrorist plan to bring their own drinks to Olympics 0
apepper 3 years

Anti-terrorist police squad members have arrested several people believed to have links with al-Qaeda. Examination of files stored on confiscated computers, indicated that they had a plan underway to...

British cyclist tests positive for talent. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Homeopaths mass antibiotic consumption in protest against conventional medicine 1
The Masked Frog 3 years

Homeopaths the length and breadth of Britain are to protest against conventional medicine today by mass consumption of prescription drugs. A spokesman from the Society of homeopaths told us " Just...

Team GB odds on for gold in relay using new rule interpretation. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Team GB are set to shock the athletic world in the 4x100 metre relay next month. While the other teams are sticking to the tradition of four runners doing 100 metres each, the British athletes have...

Whale fined for breaching new Thames Bylaws 1
ginty 3 years

A Northern Bottlenose whale has been the first person to be fined under new Thames Bylaws introduced earlier this month. Nanuq Naartok, of The Gully, Nova Scotia, spoke only to confirm his name in...