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Tony Blair books executive suite at Ecuadorean Embassy 0
sydalg 19.08.14 2:38pm
sydalg
Friends Describe Woman's Tarty Dress As 'Whoresome'.

More puns expected...

0
Titus 19.08.14 2:29pm
Titus
Waiters' wages reach tipping point. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 19.08.14 1:39pm
jimmydodger
Assange's stunt turns out to be a type after all 0
irreverendJ 19.08.14 1:11pm
irreverendJ
UK Red Tape Challenge result:- repeal the Laws of physics

The aim of the challenge was to find stupid and unnecessary rules and regulations limiting the growth of the UK economy, such as allowing vehicle engines to work at 110% just like their drivers. In...

0
rogerg 19.08.14 11:34am
rogerg
UKIP propose residency test questions to be taken from University Challenge

UKIP have unveiled a manifesto pledge to make the UK residency test more stringent for those looking to gain British citizenship. Under the UKIP proposal questions for the test will be lifted...

3
harrypalmer 19.08.14 11:08am
RobArmstrong
British Film Industry to cash in on Superhero trend

British film industry insiders today revealed that the British film industry was about to produce its own home-grown superhero franchise. 'Although we've benefited from some production work for the...

0
throngsman 19.08.14 10:37am
throngsman
Exposure to 70's entertainment and Sun journalism leads to prison suicides

The Justice Secretary, Chris Grayling, has denied claims that the prison service is in 'crisis' due to a rising population of 70's DJs and NewsCorp employees depressing existing inmates, with their...

2
Wrenfoe 19.08.14 10:22am
Sinnick
USA sends $47M to Gaza to build more targets for the Israelis

Last night US Congress agreed on an emergency package of $47 million to send to Gaza in order for them to construct better targets for the Israeli Air Force. The relentless attacks on Gaza by the...

2
bonjonelson 19.08.14 10:21am
Sinnick
Greyhound racing ends after dogs rumble winning strategy

The 7.39 at Romford last night may prove to be a turning point in greyhound racing after Artful Dogger and Sly Rascal finally rumbled how racing works. Speaking through a dog whisperer, Artful...

1
GrahamB 19.08.14 9:58am
riesler
Funniest Fringe Joke raises spirits after loss of Greatest Ever Comedian.

"Now we know we can laugh again." "Hoovers? After that, I'll never look at one without a smile" "I thought comedy had died but apparently not" "If only he had told that joke maybe he would still be...

0
vulture1 19.08.14 9:26am
vulture1
Train fares rise to 'whatever you've got left in your bank account'

The government announced today that it plans to simplify all train ticketing price schemes. Rather than the traditional annual rise of inflation plus one percent, train operators will be given access...

0
RobArmstrong 19.08.14 8:46am
RobArmstrong
Women Viewers Deny Watching Rugby ‘Just To Stare At Men’s Legs’

A new report recently issued by the National Office of Statistics reveals that, when asked, over 85 percent of females interviewed privately admitted that the only reason they watched televised rugby...

11
Jan T 19.08.14 8:30am
Oxbridge
Anna Wintour wins funniest fringe at Edinburgh joke festival.

http://i1.cdnds.net/10/16/550w_starsnaps_us_anna_wintour.jpg...

0
riesler 19.08.14 8:09am
riesler
Newsreaders rejoice as pronounceable Icelandic volcano is due to erupt.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-28843968...

0
riesler 19.08.14 8:07am
riesler
NewsSites Consider [Lie/Spin] Tag Because Many Readers Think The Reports True

After people began believing reports from the spoof site 'The Carrot' as true and so it was floated there should be a [satire] tag to warn the readers others have caught on the idea and want to...

2
Dun Dunkin 19.08.14 8:01am
bonjonelson
Labour front bench found sealed inside a container in Downing Street 0
NewBiscuit 19.08.14 8:00am
NewBiscuit
Titanic disaster may have been a Ice Bucket Challenge that went horridly wrong 2
Ian Searle 19.08.14 7:58am
Ian Searle
Coca-Cola win big sponsorship deal with Kurdish forces

In exchange for a few million pounds worth of military equipment Kurdish fighters have agreed to display the Coke logo on their camouflage jackets and finish all western journalist interviews with...

0
blacklesbianandproudofit 19.08.14 7:32am
blacklesbianandproudofit
Australian paedo surrogate dad plans to grow victims using mushroom kits

“It makes sense” said David Farnell “It’s a helluva lot cheaper than commuting to Thailand every weekend, the success rate is more than 50% and I don’t get short-changed by some slitty-eyed...

1
beckfordburger 19.08.14 7:24am
blacklesbianandproudofit
Jimmy Savile ‘introduced Cliff Richard to millions of gullible TOTP viewers’

http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/multimedia/archive/00226/4508461_Jimmy_226855b.jpg http://beforeitsnews.com/mediadrop/uploads/2013/39/33b4bd9112e8b85614fede7f1d94aa834d80f660.jpg...

1
farmer giles 19.08.14 6:38am
Squudge
Young bushmen embarrassed by 'dad rain dancing'

For centuries, the Kung bushmen of southern Namibia have known what to do if a drought threatened their crops: dance in clockwise circles while improvising harmonic chants on a flat place at the edge...

2
Oxbridge 19.08.14 6:36am
Squudge
Keyboard not found, hit any key to continue.. 0
Dumbnews 19.08.14 6:29am
Dumbnews
Wilko Johnson officially outlives all Game of Thrones characters 1
Adrian Bamforth 19.08.14 12:11am
Lang
A song for Europe - UKIP

Ding dong merrily a Thai, Met her MEP from UKIP, "Ting Tong from somewhere. Oh my", "Sorry that was a little slip" Jaaaa a a a a a aaaaaaa a a a a a aaaaaaa a a a a a aaaaaanice, Atkinson's a...

4
Not Amused 18.08.14 10:31pm
Not Amused
Royal Snub for Ant & Dec at Honours Ceremony

The infamous cheeky-chappie duo from Sunderland, Ant and Dec, have just received recognition for their [s]tiresome[/s] [s]tyreless[/s] tireless contribution to broadcasting over the last two decades...

2
Jan T 18.08.14 9:35pm
Sinnick
Hamas asks Netanyahu to take "Kick the Bucket" challenge 0
Dumbnews 18.08.14 9:24pm
Dumbnews
No contest

[size=-1] James [/size] [size=+1] Alexander [/size] [size=+2] Gordon [/size] [size=+3] 78 [/size] [size=+2] James [/size] [size=+1] Kimberley [/size] [size=0] Corden [/size] [size=-2] 35 [/size]...

0
blacklesbianandproudofit 18.08.14 8:52pm
blacklesbianandproudofit
SAS observers and advisers deployed to Iraq in sandals 3
Bigglesworth 18.08.14 8:40pm
Bigglesworth
L'assange n'est pas dans le (safe) arbre

..apologies to Ricky Gervais...

0
blacklesbianandproudofit 18.08.14 8:14pm
blacklesbianandproudofit