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1000's of Lawyers descend upon London for the Paralegal games 0
simonjmr 3 years
Tricky stick shift manoeuvre results in and Cheryl car crash 0
simonjmr 3 years
Afghans favourite to win Paralympic gold in the headless football. More soon. 6
dominic_mcg 3 years
Julian Assange To Have Sex-Change Op 1
Reg Herring 3 years

In the next few weeks Julian Assange, the well-known albino Aussie nosy parker and gossipmonger, is to undergo a special sex-change operation in the Ecuadorian embassy, leaving himself with both male...

Prince Andrew parks helicopter in disabled spaces at paralympics. 1
MADJEZ 3 years

Heard saying 'Well if a hundred disabled people turn up, I'll move it oh bugger' More soon...

Channel 4 apologise for Freudian slip as opening described as 'spactacular' 1
MADJEZ 3 years

More soon....

Nick Clegg "Awaits being new PM" at next election, denies looking for other job 0
antharrison 3 years

Lib-Dem leader Nick Clegg has announced that the challenges associated with directing the UK through the economic recession will not be too difficult when he is annointed as prime minister at the...

Philips Idowu injury doubt for Paralympics 0
custard cream 3 years
Mini voted the only British car of all time 3
quango 3 years

Or at least I think that's what it said

Paralympic signer 'hopelessly flat' claims Paralympic singer. 0
Boutros 3 years

Operatic star Denise Leigh who performed at the Paralympics opening ceremony has lodged a complaint against Deepa Shastri who signed for the singer throughout the musical number, claiming she has...

Hawking accused of miming at Paralympic opening ceremony 4
grumblechops 3 years
Previously undiscovered cheese unearthed in Cornwall 1
grumblechops 3 years

Archaeologists have unearthed evidence of a hitherto unknown cheese which is being hailed by some as the “most important discovery since Wensleydale”. The cheese is a bizarre hybrid of a...

Paralympic Squad Determined to Equal Team GB in Condom Use 0
Carter 3 years

British competitors at the London 2012 Paralympics Games have spoken of their determination to equal the stunning performance of their non-disabled counterparts when it comes to casual sex. 'Over...

Lib Dems under pressure as NEC forced to make decisions on 'stuff' 0
tedweasel 3 years
Outrage as dwarf porn moved to top shelf 1
apepper 3 years

More to follow...

Ann Romney reveals favoured sexual position to gain missionaries' vote 0
Squudge 3 years
Virgin warns 'First running west coast main line can 'only improve services'' 4
Perks 3 years

In a dispute that has now been handed over to the courts, Virgin Trains have said the awarding of the west coast main line to First Great Western opens the real threat of improvements to services. As...

Bond treated for PTSD after “Living Daylights” flashbacks 0
grumblechops 3 years

A spokesman for James Bond has revealed the Secret Service agent has been admitted to a secure hospital after suffering terrifying flashbacks, seemingly triggered by memories of a 1987 mission in...

Assad appeals for patience - “You can’t hurry genocide” 4
grumblechops 3 years

Syrian President Bashar Al Assad yesterday made a TV appeal for patience, as the state military continues to implement his plan of nationwide opinion-cleansing. Heavy shelling has been seen in...

Clegg Emergency Tax is actually a 'whip round' 0
Squudge 3 years

Nick Clegg was quick to clarify today that the proposed 'Emergency Tax on the rich' is actually a whip round. "We were just planning on, you know, passing the hat round. We promise not to ask...

British Army to disband Royal Milk Tray Corps 4
gaijintendo 3 years

"They have served no meaningful purpose since the Cold War, in the mid-eighties. We simply can't justify having a decadent regiment in the current political and financial climate." The army will now...

Assange I was in the Embassy when woman's clothes cut off in prison 0
simonjmr 3 years
Clegg - Rich should pay more tax 0
simonjmr 3 years

Nick Clegg today has announced a more controversial tax policy aimed at men named Richard, under the new leglistaion men named Richard, Rick, Rich, Dick or Dickie will be forced to pay more tax than...

Twelve held after police raid interrupts violence-crazed computer nerds 0
Midfield Diamond 3 years

Following a tip-off, police managed to prevent an orgy of violence between two vicious gangs of computer geeks in a London office last night, arresting twelve men. It is believed that all those...

County is now almost totally lion free, says Essex police chief 8
ronseal 3 years

The head of Essex Police has hailed the force's superb handling of the big cat outbreak in the county, and promised that - with the odd exception - Essex is now safe for the general public with the...

Nick Clegg announces new lion tax. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Kevin Pieterson to apply for vacant England captain role 0
custard cream 3 years
Missing: Pet Clegg 1
Perks 3 years

[u][center]Missing. Family’s Pet Clegg[/center][/u] [center][/center] A rare pet Clegg has gone...

Frying pan killer ‘inconsiderate’ claims judge 0
Gerontius 3 years

A judge at Exeter Crown Court has criticised a man for beating his friend to death with a frying pan, suggesting five minutes under the grill or even casseroled in a pot-roast would have been a far...

"Olympic style dancing on NHS beds must stop" insist top doctors 0
antharrison 3 years

Following the success of the Olympic opening ceremony, top NHS doctors are now asking patients, especially those with multiple fractures, to refrain from energetic dancing on their beds at all hours...