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Man who dreamt of being world cup ball woke up kicking himself 0
dicky37 3 years

[more soon]...

Neutrino gets speeding ticket overturned in Magistrates' Court 0
wwwiz 3 years

In a rare move, a Magistrates' Court has overturned a speeding ticket issued to a Neutrino, due to a challenge to the accuracy of a police speed gun. "I was ticking along at exactly the speed of...

UN Rules should make wars “a little less rapey and killy” 11
dvo4fun 3 years

An innovative move inspired by the great sporting heritage of International Boxing was unveiled by the UN today, following Red Cross calls for a daily two hour cease fire in Homs. “Boxing in its...

Gangsters to create 300 new jobs in Manchester 4
paddyparkinson 3 years

Manchester’s premier criminal syndicate has announced it will be opening up three hundred new positions in their local gangs in the area. The move has led to the north west economy making a small...

Man not in Film Industry shocks critics by expressing faint interest in Oscars 0
tedweasel 3 years

Must be one of them there gaysexuals...

John Lennon releases 'All we are saying is give Greece a chance" 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years

Apols if done already...

100% of public sector managers now on Linkedin 4
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years

Business related social networking site Linkedin today achieved saturation coverage among public sector manangers. The last to join, a Donald Edward Wood of NHS Borders and Wrexham, submitted a nice...

News of meat being made in labs dismissed as "Red Herring" by Vegetarian Society 0
Nails UK 3 years

Bootiful quote...

Houston death thrown into doubt that she was just "having a nap" 1
aTrumbo 3 years

The controversy over Whitney Houston's death has reignited today over a suggestion that the singer "Was having a nap in the bath" Houston, 48, was found "dead" in the bath of her luxury hotel room...

Faster-than-light neutrinos measurement could be down to Windows Vista 1
oblongscone 3 years
Best Exotic Marigold Hotel kick-starts Zombie movie craze 0
Drylaw 3 years
Further Fallout from AA Milne Downgrading 0
Nails UK 3 years

Further information has been disclosed regarding the effects of the recent downgrading of AA Milne to A Milne. - Main characters will be renamed Winnie The Poor and Christopher Robbin’, - Eeyore...

Boomerangs making a comeback 0
Haywood Manley 3 years
Doctor confused but delighted after asking furniture salesman for a stool sample 2
bonjonelson 3 years
Smithfield at centre of new bone hacking scandal 1
weematt 3 years
Woman Can’t Control Their Vagina’s Says Santorum. 2
Hooch 3 years

Rick Santorum, the new frontrunner for the Republican Nominee, has never been one to shy away from controversy but his new claim is astonishing even for him. Speaking at a public appearance he made...

Undecided topic at the world's first 'summat summit' 0
Perks 3 years
Sexy Female Psychiatrist releases report saying women objectified 'too much' 1
paddyparkinson 3 years
Stonehenge built ‘to explain offside rule to women’. 2
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years
UK numbers downgraded - PM asks for calm from 9 Downing Street 1
apepper 3 years

In a shock announcement, All UK numbers have been downgraded. £5 notes are now £4 notes, BBC 4 is now BBC 3 and the Forth bridge has been renamed the Third bridge...

Mandela stomach complaint: discharge imminent 0
3 years
Hi-speed green mode of transportation discovered, called running 0
Dumbnews 3 years
One Direction's new album will be called 'Down'. 0
hippogriff 3 years

Following One Direction's recent success, the name of their new album has been announced. It will be called 'Down'...

Whitney used as organ donor for Mandela - opening at Madison Square Garden 0
hippogriff 3 years

Whitney used as organ donor for Mandela - Madiba opening at Madison Square Garden on June 11. Long live Mandela!...

International race to bottom of ocean trench won by sack of kittens 10
3 years
Knock-on effect of RBS slump : Next season will be the last for 6 Nations Rugby. 0
Gourd Almighty 3 years

From 2014 onwards, the RBS 6 Nations Rugby competition will be downsized to the 1 Nation., Andy Robinson, the Scotland rugby coach, was delighted with the news : "As the only competing team in the...

Police already investigating first scandals at the Sun on Sunday. 0
deskpilot3 3 years

More dirty diggings soon...

Westlife Reunion to take place inside of Giant Blender 0
paddyparkinson 3 years
Police called to M&S dine in for two coq au vin disturbance 0
roybland 3 years

A £10 M&S dine in for two meal ended in violence when the diners set about each other over an argument about the coq au vin. 'I thought we'd have a nice M&S dine in for two for a tenner...

"Bwarp flomm," states man who claims ability to create new words at will. 0
Haywood Manley 3 years