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Mussel comes out as bivalve 0
cinquecento 3 years

.. more shellfish humour soon...

Man finds his dream date at a surreal fruit stall 0
Smart Alex 3 years
Internet forums in crisis after IMHO revealed to mean ‘In My Hairy Orifice’ 0
jp1885 3 years
‘Keep Calm and Regularly Check Your Prostate’ a slogan too far say consumers 0
jp1885 3 years

Charity group Cancer Research UK has come under fire from angry consumers after its latest awareness campaign: ‘Keep Calm and Regularly Check Your Prostate’, was blasted as taking the popular...

North Koreans claim rocket launch was "Titanic Tribute" 0
apepper 3 years

The North Koreans have claimed that their rocket crashing and sinking into the sea was, in fact, a carefully planned tribute to the Titanic which sank 100 years ago. "It seems very insensitive to...

Study finds that teenagers are lazy bastards. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Londoners complain about their looted TVs as analogue signal is switched off. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Punter stands to win millions on deadly bet 5
pinxit 3 years

A Woking man will be following Sunday's London Marathon with more than a little interest as he stands to win over two million pounds from the bookies if a certain runner suffers a fatality. After...

Unemployment falls by number put inside for rioting 0
rustytruss 3 years
64% of English people think 'auld lang syne' is a Burmese dissident. 0
bonjonelson 3 years
Amazon launches Rekindle for lapsed readers 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years
Snooker world championship in doubt as Blackball demands more money 0
yens123 3 years

The premier event of snooker was today thrown into disarray as reports surfaced today that the 'Blackball' has refused to take part in this years event unless her wage demands are met. Blackball is...

Your cut out and keep guide to Fracking 1
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

With Fracking all over the news, the government has sought to put the public’s fear at ease in a manner similar to the tanker drivers dispute, by changing some of terms, names and reported side...

iPhone brings an end to UK unemployment 0
clicktingstampz 3 years

UK unemployment was slashed to an all-time low of zero last night, after the Government controversially rebranded poncing around with an iPhone as a full-time career., iPhone-using twonks will now...

New "Google Glasses" help alcoholics stay on-line 0
Tom55 3 years

The new glasses, with a 2-inch square screen at the bottom, readable through up to four inches of beer or a standard double Scotch, and with standard mouse controls around the rim, permit drunks to...

Schoolboys reveal Rangers takeover hoax 2
clicktingstampz 3 years

THE proposed takeover of Rangers Football Club was plunged into doubt last night after one of the leading bidders was revealed to be two small boys standing on top of each other inside a linen...

Theresa May announces” Abu Abu Qatada I want to reach out and grab ya” 2
godly1966 3 years
A few ideas to run past you writers out there.... 0
yens123 3 years

Ive taken all these headlines from bbc.co.uk/news Breivik quizzed on extremist ties - im thinking disney characters on ties, powers ties, bow ties, kipper ties, skinny ties. ties, ties and more ties...

Secret colonial papers reveal 'fuzzy wuzzies don't like it up em'. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Jack Straw sued by son for rendition over 1997 drug arrest. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
IMF raises target for global growth by this much 5
yens123 3 years

IMF raises target for global growth by this much <------------------> The IMF has said that economic growth will grow by over an inch on most PowerPoint Presentations globally this year....

Aung San Suu Kyi's first trip abroad in 24 years to be hen weekend in Benidorm. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
36 football fans drown in mexican wave tragedy 1
bonjonelson 3 years
Laxative factory expansion could create Thousands of more Jobs, 4
Zen 3 years
17 yo/s addicted to new hazard perception test computer game 1
kga6 3 years

Following recent updates to the DVLA hazard perception theory test, young learners have found the practise CD-ROM so engrossing that many have become addicted to the format. Game developers, EA...

Spain ‘Telling on Argentina’ 9
Old Hat 3 years

Spain has warned Argentina that he will ‘tell on him’ after the rogue South-American shambles seized Spain’s favourite oil exploration subsidiary whilst Spain wasn’t looking, presumably in...

London 2012 "Expect Less" Campaign A Surprise Success 1
Textbook 3 years

The London Olympic marketing committee's unusual decision to go with "It's not going to change your life or anything" and a depiction of frowning man in a flat cap looking balefully at an ugly and...

Empire switches mobile contract to O2 amid Jedi bias allegations 4
Rizzo 3 years

Darth Vader the Dark Lord of the Sith today confirmed that the Imperial Empire have decided to switch their mobile operator from Vodafone to O2 after the company showed allegiance to the Jedi with a...

Teressa May tells commons of her intentions to deport Jack Straw to Jordan 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years
V Imp Conf IMHO 2
Iggy Pop-Barker 3 years

CEOs from CBI members (e.g. M & S, HSBC and BAe) will gather for a conference at the NEC this Saturday. Keynote speakers from the IoD, MoD and WoD are to address issues such as B2B, PPP and POP,...