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Police declare war on ruthless sculptor gang targeting scrap metal dealers 0
Clarky 3 years

Any mileage, people?...

Alan Hansen face death sentence for saying people of colour are 'coloured' 2
ronseal 3 years

Disgraced football pundit Alan Hansen, could face a death sentence - or worse - for describing people of colour as 'coloured'. In a shocking incident last night, which could see Britain kicked out...

Lloyds TSB to sell 85% of Julie Waters to the treasury. 0
nickb 3 years

Much-loved actress and comedian Julie Waters, for eight years the voice of Lloyds TSB, is to become, literally, a national treasure. Almost. The ailing bank has been forced to sell an 85% in...

Catholic church surprised that Higg's bosun required for mass 2
Smart Alex 3 years

Had previously thought that bread, wine, and incense ought to do it...

KGB polonium suspected to be involved in presumed death of Schrödinger's cat. 0
reforse 3 years
Cuts force Italian PM to begin eating imaginary apples 0
ndbrown123 3 years

Schrödinger family pet is found murdered ...and isn't 0
Smart Alex 3 years
Luis Suarez Racist Attitude Typical of Those Shifty Uruguayans Claim FA 0
thisisall1word 3 years
BNP Council Member Sacked After Dressing as Lib Dem During Stag Do 0
thisisall1word 3 years
Kraft launch a white chocolate version of its famous Chocolate Orange for Xmas. 2
reforse 3 years
City of Newcastle credit rating downgraded from BB to YI 0
cinquecento 3 years
Cameron Having A Moody....... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.His AAA lifestyle under threat...

Milliband to be questioned about ’Stalin-themed’ party. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years
Gorden Kaye sacked from Allo Allo, for being pictured with man in Nazi Uniform 0
Immunis 3 years

to reword Dominic's excellent idea...

Cast of Allo Allo to face questions about "Nazi themed" TV show. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
France’s war of words ‘is over’ says Alain Juppe. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

'Now we must just negotiate our surrender terms’ he added...

Pearly Gate modernisation programme announced 0
Midfield Diamond 3 years

Following a time and motion study by secure access consultants, entry to the kingdom of heaven is to be modernised. The Pearly Gates are to be replaced by Pearly Turnstiles, equipped with iris,...

Red-faced Hansen somewhat blue, but too yellow to apologise to 'coloured' people 3
Username 3 years
Would love to see Nick Clegg /James Cameron's pre-nup crib sheet... 1
Username 3 years PS Did wayland have a hand in writing the note?...

Shepherds complain after missing out in Bethlehem Secret Santa draw yet again 1
Stan 3 years

Flock watching shepherds were cursing their luck after leaving empty handed once again from the annual Secret Santa draw which was held at Bethlehem’s Premier No Room Inn. ‘I felt sure this was...

Wolves to strengthen back four by signing Bob Crow in January transfer window 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Disbelief as new Spanish PM omits Barcelona players from his cabinet 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Lancashire toilet paper warehouse fire wipes business park off the map 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
National Statistics confirms Eric Pickles’ waist grew 0.6% in the last quarter 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Axis of Evil to strengthen squad in January transfer window 7
ianslat 3 years

The Axis of Evil will need to act quickly to strengthen their squad when the transfer window opens again in January if they are to compete on the global stage in 2012, according to TV pundit Alan...

Celebrities endorse the Photoshop diet 0
Immunis 3 years

The latest diet craze to be endorsed by hundreds of celebrities is the photoshop diet in which hi-tech software is used to make images of the celebrity look like they are up to 100 pounds lighter...

AIG buy BMI to improve Scrabble hand 0
apepper 3 years

It's been revealed that the main purpose behind AIG's purchase of ailing airline BMI is to improve AIG's Scrabble hand; "At last, we have some more consonants and with good scores as well."...

New Earth like planets are "roasted remains" - named "Croydon" and "Tripoli 1
Al OPecia 3 years
Piers Morgan too thick to hack phones 2
apepper 3 years

Former Daily Mirror editor, Piers Morgan has admitted that he struggles to use his answering machine, let alone knowing how to hack into anyone else's phone. "I didn't know it was even possible.", he...

Liverpool players show support for Suarez by wearing white T-shirts 0
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Did they think that through at all? 'He might be a racist, but he's our racist. And the rest of us are shit, so we need him.'...