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"Fiat money" accepted in exchange for 2nd hand Cinquecento

after offer of Bitcoin payment was refused...

NewBiscuit 16.12.13 1:29pm
Trite bullshit painted on wood changes woman’s entire personality

A wooden board painted with the words ‘be happy’, ‘always tell the truth’, ‘keep your promises’, ‘help others’, ‘say please and thank you’, ‘try new things’, ‘spread...

Idiot 16.12.13 12:47pm
Nigel Farage to be dropped on the Ukraine

In a last ditch attempt to stave off closer ties with the EU, President Viktor Yanukovych has ordered Kiev protesters to be bombarded with the leader of UKIP. Aerial strikes will include the dropping...

Wrenfoe 16.12.13 12:23pm
Mandela is risen from the dead

In the biggest news scoop in a thousand years, Sky announced that Nelson Mandela had risen from the dead in the early hours of this morning., Little detail was given, but it was confirmed that...

Starchy 16.12.13 11:07am
Beyoncé's new boyfriend says he can't wait to get her home and get her dressed 0
Robopop 16.12.13 9:53am
The Queen is Dead - ish.

Well, the revolution happened quite a time ago and you missed it. Revolutionaries wiped out all the aristocracy before realizing [i]they[/i] now owned the land - so didn't bother telling anyone. By...

parrettwalker 16.12.13 9:52am
Andy Murray voted sports "personality" that ironic or what! 2
irreverendJ 16.12.13 8:53am
O'Toole to play Mandela in biopic update

Recently deceased actor Peter O’Toole has been cast as Nelson Mandela in an update of the former S.Africa president’s life., O’Toole is to play the last 10 days of Mandela’s time on earth,...

Gerontius 16.12.13 8:45am
‘And That’s Why I Don’t Bother Voting Anymore’ Explains John From Accounts

John from accounts has derisively sighed, shaken his head in despair and apathetically slung his copy of the Daily Mail onto the canteen table while declaring ‘And that’s why I don’t bother...

UnoEye 16.12.13 8:11am
O'Toole funeral signer suffered from Alcoholic Palsy claim organisers. 0
Ref Minor 16.12.13 2:03am
Ref Minor
Man In Moon he say: "This is not what I ordered" 0
Drylaw 15.12.13 11:00pm
Small green vegetable with big flavour scoops Sprouts Personality of the Year 0
ronseal 15.12.13 10:56pm
SPOTY: After a 40 year wait, Alex Salmond cums again and loses 12 stones

In 1973 a young Alex Salmond experienced his first orgasm following Jackie Stewart's success in the BBC's Sports Personality of the Year competition. Now, finally after a 40 year wait, following Sir...

antharrison 15.12.13 10:34pm
UK home insulation programme ‘lagging behind’ rest of Europe 4
farmer giles 15.12.13 10:32pm
sponge finger
China's Rabbit Moon Rover is cheap copy of Austin Metro claims former BL man

More copyright violations soon...

MADJEZ 15.12.13 9:58pm
Seven dwarves sue Rebecca Ferguson for singing 'Hi-ho-hi-ho-hi-ho'

More obscure musical posts soon...

MADJEZ 15.12.13 9:34pm
Rolihlahla joins Tinky Winky, Dispy and Po in racially integrated Tellitubbies 0
irreverendJ 15.12.13 9:29pm
Everyone that drank a pinta milk a day now dead 4
A.A.Arkwright 15.12.13 9:10pm
Sky launches 24 hour Mandela channel ahead of DIsney

Disney's plans for a 24 hour Mandela channel collapsed into disarray last night. Firstly, Winnie raised concerns that DIsney would sanitise the long, hard Mandela struggle for freedom. Then it...

Starchy 15.12.13 7:44pm
New Westminster Village reality show set to make stars of Spad, Speaker and shad

A new TOWIE style reality show is set to make stars of its stock characters, a special advisor, a speaker and a shadow chancellor of the exchequer from Westminster Village. The people in this...

ronseal 15.12.13 7:41pm
Tom Daley becomes SPOTY - after nasty outbreak of teenage acne 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 15.12.13 7:28pm
Miranda has accidental sex with chap from bistro - all future episodes cancelled 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 15.12.13 7:25pm
Nelson Mandela wins SPOTY 0
irreverendJ 15.12.13 6:05pm
Mandela Aid come to BBC1

In an attempt to ease the blow of being Mandela less the BBC have just released its programme scehdule for next week which they hope will help the 99% of the world who claim to have met the great man...

irreverendJ 15.12.13 5:59pm
Kim Jong-un admits "Christmas dinner will be a little tense"

Supreme leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, has confessed that he expects there will be something of an atmosphere at this year's Christmas lunch. "Hopefully, my cousins won't spoil the meal running...

apepper 15.12.13 5:57pm
Election Results: Your Hand is Like Ice, Your Ass is Like a Watermelon - 2

It's 8 PM local time, and Presidential polls have been closed two hours in this reporter's Mediterranean island homeland. Known to Turks as "Elin Buz Gibi / Gortun Karpuz Gibi" (Your Hand is Like Ice...

Lindy Moone 15.12.13 4:51pm
Fresh blow for Hodgson as 'Mars goalkeeper' turns out to be Polish 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 15.12.13 12:02pm
Jade Rabbit II to take 400 million surplus Chinese girls to the moon 0
Oxbridge 15.12.13 12:01pm
Turf wars: Nigella accused of prepaing cake on Mary Berry's patch 0
Smart Alex 15.12.13 12:00pm
Smart Alex
Disney launches 24 hour rolling Mandela channel

Disney say their new Channel will have a simple format - it will give everyone the chance to talk publicly about how they have been inspired by Mandela, and how grief-stricken they were when he...

Starchy 15.12.13 11:59am
Al OPecia