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Waitrose robbery – affordable food left at the store! 0
hardev 3 years

Police are investigating a “reverse” robbery at a Waitrose supermarket in Cardiff after five men reportedly broke into the store and left affordable items on the shelves…, One witness, Fifi...

Apple to charge employees for the privilege of working for them 1
Dumbnews 3 years
Bus Drivers to be set new ‘Minimum Standards of Miserableness’ 2
TheNewsWalrus 3 years

It has been revealed the Government’s new Public Transport White Paper will set out strict guidelines for bus drivers in order to drive down standards of service and comfort on Britain’s local...

Spanish economy turns corner, caídas de las escaleras. 0
andhrimnir 3 years
Church of England issues warning on dangers of not living in the past 4
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

The Church of England has warned that members of the public attempting to live in the modern world could have a detrimental effect on a ‘vastly important’ institution; namely the Church of...

Major & Milliband Leveson appearance 'could cause catastrophic charisma vortex' 2
pere floza 3 years
Apple reveals iPad 4 will feature an air freshener 2
Nunnion Splendacular 3 years

Apple has once again stolen a march on its competitors, by announcing that iPad 4 will feature a built-in air freshener. Ideally suited for use in the smallest room in the house, the breakthrough was...

Objection is Over ruled but Judge rules for Freedom in US remake of Leveson show 0
ronseal 3 years

Critics say that in the US remake of classic British drama, the Leveson Inquiry, the writers have taken some liberties with history. But the ratings for [i]Leveson DA[/i] tell their own story. And...

Elgin Marbles return to include Prince Philip, George Michael and Peter Andre 6
seymour totti 3 years

Stephen Fry is spearheading a new campaign to return the Elgin Marbles to Greece. However, knowing that this will not receive much popular support, he is keen on forcing the Greeks to take a few...

Fresh setback for Clegg 0
the bumpy 3 years

Sources close to Nick Clegg say that his special advisor has warned him against relying on a trail of crisps as a navigation aid. David Cameron usually buys him a packet before leaving him in the...

MoD complains that UK school-leavers 'lack basic human shield skills' 0
cinquecento 3 years
Ukranian officials thought English music banned 0
button 3 years
Olympic opening: Coe launches British countryside litter appeal. 4
weematt 3 years

Concern has been raised that the transformation of the Olympic stadium into a replica of the British countryside will be in jeopardy due to a national shortage in the real countryside of used plastic...

Hayward Gallery claims “Invisible” art exhibition drew massive crowd 3
Yikes 3 years

Despite widespread scepticism, it seems the Hayward Gallery’s “Invisible” exhibition - so named as all of the works by the fifty artists are invisible – will be a resounding success as a...

Ramblers demand access path through Olympic opening ceremony 7
charlies_hat 3 years
Google Street View Denies Opening The Door To Burglars 0
Duff 3 years

Google is coming under fire today and stands accused of making it easy for burglars to rob our homes once again; following new reports of a malicious code hidden in its already controversial...

Bath salts face-eating horror inspires George Romero's 'Dawn Of The Dead Radox' 3
Haywood Manley 3 years

A bit convoluted I admit...

England team visit Polish orphanage. 1
gwhj2008 3 years

'It is so sad to meet people with such little hope' said 4 year old Ivan...

Nokia research shows happy homosexuals want homophone 0
Yikes 3 years

.. or "Nokia research shows happy homesexuals like gay homophone"...

Ant and Dec Voted Two Biggest Anchors On TV 2
Duff 3 years

Ubiquitous Geordie presenting duo, Ant and Dec, have been awarded the coveted title of the nation's biggest anchors for a third consecutive year, in a poll of Radio Times readers to be published...

Nancy Cameron in failed bid to distract David Cameron from ruining anything else 2
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

Nancy Cameron has apologised to the nation after her bid to distract her father from messing anything else up by hiding in a country pub ended in failure. Although the prime minister's daughter,...

President Amadinejad and Katie Price announce wedding plans 1
bumtrinket 3 years

After much speculation is has now been confirmed that President Amadinejad and Katie Price are to be wed in a lavish ceremony in Iranian capital Tehran later this Autumn. The unlikely partnership ...

Tim Rice, Damien Hirst to Stage World's First Surrealist Musical, "Hello Dali!" 0
Iggy Pop-Barker 3 years
Broken Britain update : Champagne Charlie's leave daughter in pub 1
simonjmr 3 years
Biennial renaming of country to 'Inger-lund' underway 1
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Stirring England draw invokes spirit of ... er 1980... oh dear. 1
MADJEZ 3 years

More dullness soon...

Leveson inquiry concerned that selective amnesia may be at "epidemic" levels 0
FlashArry 3 years
Dignitas to launch 'come die with me' two for one summer promotion 7
bumtrinket 3 years

Financially struggling suicide-assisting Swiss outfit Dignitas are taking the unusual step of offering a BOGOF for their Platinum-level death-assisting service. I spoke to CEO of the company Dr...

In brief: 0
Miss Hegas 3 years

Home from trip to pub, PM looks around car and concurs 'maybe we're not all in it together.'...

BBC Denies Peston Bailout Rumours 0
custard cream 3 years

Senior sources at the BBC moved quickly today to scotch rumours that Business Editor Robert Peston is in need of a bailout. "There are no suggetions of Robert needing an 'additional line of credit'...