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NHS to move offshore in tax dodge 0
GrahamB 3 years

Following the revelation that 25 civil servants may have paid 18% less tax as a result of having their salaries paid into personal holding companies, Health Secretary Andrew Lansley today revealed...

Ticket sales for Houston soar after star’s death. 1
Babydaddy 3 years

In an unprecedented move, American Airlines have put on extra flights in the last few days as demand for tickets to Houston, Texas rocketed just hours after news of the R n B superstar’s untimely...

Luvverly Jubilee - Queen's Jubilee agenda to feature live beheadings 0
Newsquelch 3 years

Buckingham Palace have today published further details of the forthcoming Jubilee festivities. Monarchy fans queued up outside the palace gates for eight days without healthcare or sanitation to hear...

Argentine and British government 'stunned' by Falklands decision to join Jamaica 0
graciesdad 3 years

Argentine and British government officials were today said to be 'stunned' at the decision of residents of the Falkland Islands to become part of Jamaica. "In many ways it makes perfect sense" said...

Toy Story's Buzz Lightyear in London congestion charge row! 1
theadministrator 3 years

Transport For London today announced a change in its vehicle categorization policy after a review by a Commons Select Committee. The new legislation also includes Space Rangers like Buzz 'Aldrin'...

Nation enthralled as Kate does thing 20
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

The Duchess of Cambridge captivated the nation[s]al media[/s] this morning as she travelled to a place and did a thing. Wearing a stunning double crepe wool coat in sumptuous seasonal chestnut...

Huhne arrives late to court. Blames wife. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
PM talks up Scotland prior to placing on Ebay 0
apepper 3 years

PM David Cameron has spoken warmly of Scotland in an attempt to increase the number of bids for the country on Ebay. Cameron hopes to make the forthcoming referendum someone else's problem...

After success of Ian Paisley and Rangers, Pope switches prayer effort to Dawkins 0
charlies_hat 3 years

The Holy Trinity...

United Nations under pressure to break Bobby Brown’s knees 0
Peat1973 3 years

The United Nations has bowed to international pressure to convene a special committee on Bobby Brown, since the tragic death of his ex-wife, Whitney Houston at the weekend. Talentless wanker, The...

Ian Paisley moved out of intensive care, "for his own safety".... 0
theadministrator 3 years
UK asks Betty Ford clinic to withdraw clown prince Penn from south atlantic 1
ronseal 3 years

Clown Prince Penn, the former footman of Pop Queen Madonna, is to continue his controversial self promotional tour of the south atlantic. Britain has called the mobilising of the publicity seeking...

Al Jazeera launches controversial new women's midday chat show, Loose Burkas 2
ronseal 3 years

They're funny, they're sassy and they could have dynamite strapped to their chest - they've sashayed out of the bedouin and into the boardroom. Meet the cast of Loose Burkas, the new lunch time chat...

Tank Think-Tank Rethink Tank Thinking 3
Hugh Jarse 3 years

They’re the bullies in the playground of war. The menacing ne’er-do-well on the corner of Aggression Street. The burly, tattooed queue-jumper in the post office of human conflict. We know them...

Time wasting slogan chanting meeting makers could lead UK recovery says time w.. 0
ronseal 3 years

Independent research carried out by DMM (Dovetailed Marketing Messages) suggests that Britain could be sleepwalking into a triple dip recession if it cuts back on investment on meetings. The...

Cameron jets to Athens to seek vital Greek vote in Eurovision Song Contest 1
ronseal 3 years

David Cameron could pull of a coup for Britain right from under the German's noses. Capitalising on anti Euro dissent, the PM is jetting to Athens for high level talks - which could secure the key...

Wayne Rooney's racehorse to be called "Switcharooney" .. 0
Gourd Almighty 3 years

After weeks of speculation, a press conference at the Cheshire stables where Switcharooney will be trained was told, "Yeah, we're like well chuffed innit. Me an' Colleen were like sat up until the...

Royal Masturbation Fantasies Up 80% on 2010 6
SimonJJames 3 years

A recent poll has shown that of the 2000 men surveyed year on year, there is an uptick of 80% regarding fantasies involving a member of the Royal Family. The poll shows a level of interest not seen...

Argentina tensions escalate as UK deploys Duchess of Cornwall to Falklands 0
cinquecento 3 years
RAF in moustache shaving protest as derring-do budget slashed 0
cinquecento 3 years
XXX Olympiad to feature state-of-the-art water sports facilities 0
Golgo13 3 years
Sacked for being legless at work (re-post) 0
Marko 3 years

An Iranian terrorist was dismissed by bosses today for blowing his own legs off in a botched bomb job in Thailand. Cell managers dismissed Ballykissangel born Abdul ORielly as soon as they heard of...

Questions into length of Leverson Inquiry as 'Street Sweeper' gives evidence 2
Perks 3 years

As the Leverson inquiry enters it’s 23rd year, it has heard evidence from a street sweeper from Bideford. Ian Brownlow, has been telling the inquiry about his torment caused by an article in the ...

New dating site tackles disappointment by guaranteeing failure 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Fair Trade Cocaine and Heroin 2
Ironduke 3 years

just an idea, if anyone wants to run with it?...

Primary head admits licking lollipop lady 2
nickb 3 years

The General Teaching Council’s disciplinary body yesterday heard a head teacher, James Marks, 43, admitting that he licked lollipop lady June Craig, 41 a part time hairdresser. The evidence...

Ryan Air calendar cost more than advertised and didn't reach destination 2
ronseal 3 years
Delboy Throws His Three Rolex's Down The Drain.... 2
Jesse Bigg 3 years

."Too much of me, init?"...

Majority of C of E Clergy Object to Sex Before Marriage 5
Jesse Bigg 3 years

According to an opinion poll conducted by the 'Pulpit' magazine, a majority of Church of England clergy are totally against premarital sex, due to the hassle of re-arranging the altar plate just...

Suarez to apology to player he bit. Returns toe. 0
Hooch 3 years