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FA to investigate whether it could award Man United penalties in retrospect 0
ronseal 3 years

The Football Association is to investigate allegations that it hasn't awarded Manchester United enough penalties and has commissioned a study to find new sources of spot kicks. ., MORE LATER...

Harrogate man dies in Britain's worst ever Tupperware Landslide 5
seymour totti 3 years

A Grandfather from Harrogate has become the first Briton to die as a result of a Tupperware landslide. Ron Stevens, 63, was buried alive without warning by a 17ft high pile of plastic on Sunday...

Murdoch to appear before Leveson Inquiry 0
Old Hat 3 years

Lovable A-Team buffon, Murdoch, is to appear before the Leveson inquiry on Wednesday and Thursday next week. A spokesperson for the enquiry issued the following statement; "We've exhausted all our...

Breaking News: Crazy-Legs to play Syrian peacekeeping role 0
Old Hat 3 years
British arms manufacturers to sponsor Bahrain Grand Prix. 1
nickb 3 years

In a display of strength, British armoured cars, armed with British weapons will complete a “lap of honour” round the Bahrain circuit before next week’s controversial F1 race. Race Organiser ...

F1 cars to have rooves specially fitted as safety precaution in Bahrain GP 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years
F1 drivers watch safety film for Bahrain GP 0
Sinnick 3 years

Norwich City in yellow/green strip leak shocker 0
button 3 years
Fleeing Ecclestone insists mortar attack won't stop Bahrain GP 0
clicktingstampz 3 years

Formula One chief Bernie Ecclestone insists Sunday's Bahrain Grand Prix WILL go ahead, despite the track having been destroyed in today's mortar attack., Members of the Force India team were forced...

New Health & Safety rules introduced to regulate the work of Vampires 1
seymour totti 3 years

Vampires have reacted in dismay to a new raft of measures being forced upon them by the Health & Safety Executive. A spokesman for the HSE said, "For too long, the activities of vampires have...

"its a mistake" doctor tells inquest on Men at Work Flautist 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

avoided the obvious down under jape!...

Drogba's diving "a cry for help" - psychologist 0
clicktingstampz 3 years

DIDIER Drogba's pathetic tumbling acts during Chelsea's 1-0 Champions League victory over Barcelona last night were a “desperate cry for help,” according to a leading psychologist., Dr Judit...

Simon Cowell to be replaced by viewer friendlier Cyborg Cowell 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years

Dr John Jones of Cardiff University today revealed a Cybotic alternative to talent show judges such as those seen on the” X Factor” or “The Voice”, The Cyber Judge as it known can instantly...

Judge Explains Abu Qatada Ruling Means No Worries for The Rest of Your Days 1
house78 3 years
'Potato .. Quatada, let's call the whole thing off' says Home Secretary. 1
MADJEZ 3 years

Lots more of these soon...

Government complain hate clerics deportation appeals 'Abu s of process' 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Norfolk man traces family tree all the way back to his sister 8
Screenie 3 years

62 year old James Gait from Holt in Norfolk is delighted that, after many hours work, he has managed to trace his family tree back many generations all the way to to his sister, Richard. Mr Gait...

It's Anne Widdycombe or Sir Cliff for new Archbishop of Canterbury post. 0
stevebrdfd 3 years

The Church of England synod declared today the names of two candidates for the position of the next Archbishop of Canterbury. They are frumpish ex tory MP, now minor celebrity, Anne Widdycombe. And...

Girl in US Secret Service scandal gets the sack 0
medici2471 3 years
Man Down Under Now Man Six Feet Under. 2
Haywood Manley 3 years
“100 days to go”, British infrastructure warns sport-loving foreigners 1
Old Hat 3 years

British Infrastructure was enthusiastically pulsating with buttock-clenching anticipation last night, following the announcement that there were only 100 days to go before he could start shafting...

Chelsea fan claims Champions League credit after tweeting "#prayfordrogba" 4
seymour totti 3 years

Armchair Chelsea fan, Barry Nicholls, 39, has been a lifelong supporter for the last 7 years. He was unable to get a ticket for Wednesday's Champions League match against Barcelona, so thought he...

Deceased Men At Work Flautist accused of copying Amy Winehouse. 0
seymour totti 3 years
Tanker drivers to vote on action when they return from skiing holidays. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
King of Spain apologises to poor peasants, Queen offers cake. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
White supremacist group decides to drop Black Power salute. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
The Reign in Spain shoots mainly on the Plains 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Scientists who cured mice of blindness hope to sew their tails back on soon. 1
dominic_mcg 3 years
Lord Coe launches countdown to ’50 days to go’ countdown 3
3 years

With London 2012's '100 days to go' countdown firmly behind him, Lord Coe is keen to build on its success by launching a countdown to the '50 days to go' countdown. Coe has hand-picked a team of...

Traumatised woman, 19, tells of Premier League footballer hell 5
clicktingstampz 3 years

A TRAUMATISED young woman has described the horrifying moment she was treated with dignity and respect by a Premier League footballer., Wiping away tears, the 19-year-old hairdresser from Preston,...