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Twitter to reduce tweet characters by 20% tomorrow 1
NewSuburbanDad 3 years

Twitter confirmed last night that tweets would be limited to 112 characters with immediate effect, as the global economic downturn continued to depress its revenue streams.  'With the current...

"Cash in Handjobs morally wrong" says Cynthia Payne 0
ginty 3 years

Luncheon vouchers...

VISA Approved Prostitutes Will Not Accept Cash In Olympic Village - Warns Coe 0
3 years
'Cash-in-Hand morally wrong' says minister, 'should be in brown envelopes' 0
Perks 3 years
New Olympic rules to ban athletes with unfair genetic advantages 0
ajg4004 3 years

Building on regulations that prevent women with unusually high levels of testosterone from competing as women, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) and International Association of Athletics...

Hollywood veteran Dick Van Dyke is appointed Cockney rhyming slang Tsar 0
Duff 3 years

In a surprise move today legendary entertainer and honorary Pearly King, Dick Van Dyke, has been appointed as Britain's Cockney Rhyming Slang Tsar and has been charged with getting kids at East...

Bashar al-Assad tipped for Nobel peace prize 0
apepper 3 years

Syrian president, Bashar al-Assad, is the favourite for the Nobel peace prize after his decision not to gas the civilian population. People in the street paid tribute; "He is a living saint to only...

Surprise as the Nazgûl are drafted in for additional Olympic security 4
Psycadelic Squirrel 3 years
Team BG under strength after loss of Maurice & Robin. 0
MADJEZ 3 years


Pippa Middleton’s Ass To Light Olympic Cauldron 3
daneade 3 years

Organisers who promised an Olympic flame ‘wow’ moment have decided to deliver a ‘phwoar’ moment as well, as leaked documents show the honour of lighting the Olympic Cauldron will go to Pippa...

Syrian military dismisses Aurora shootings as "crude and amateurish" 0
FlashArry 3 years
spur of the moment 3 years

In a surprise move the women’s Saudi Arabian swim team has decided to boycott the 2012 Olympic Games sighting unfair rules and regulations. Sarah Shahkerkani, spokeswoman for the Saudi swim team,...

Jammed Aurora gun maker apologises, reassures customers malfunction is "rare" 2
nickb 3 years

The jamming of the rapid fire assault weapon used in the Colorado massacre is a “rare event, probably attributable to user error” said an apologetic spokesperson for Litearms Corp, which sells...

Man's phone rings during Dark Knight Rises 8
confuzzled 3 years

Many were looking forward to watching the latest installment of Christopher Nolan's Batman, but in a cinema in Portsmouth film lovers had there experience tragically ruin when an inconsiderate cinema...

Stratford shopkeeper jailed for answering telephone after '5 rings' 1
Underconstruction 3 years

An East End shopkeeper has been sentenced to five years in prison, after admitting breaching stringent trading rules around Olympic Games related intellectual property., Sixty Eight year old...

5 days to go and Boris Johnson still waiting for Team GB whiff whaff call up. 3
MADJEZ 3 years
Syria pledge on chemical weapons: will massacre everyone using guns instead. 0
Gary Baldy 3 years

Civilians in Syria rejoice after the benevolent government announce they will be massacred using guns and rocket-propelled grenades instead of chemical warfare. One Syrian was reported to have said,...

After Aurora suspect's appearance, sponsors pull Ronald MacDonald from 2012 ads 0
pinxit 3 years
Euro Crisis: Spain expels costal province. 'Costa Borrowin ruining us.' 0
pinxit 3 years
Team GB hopes in tatters, as only one in four athletes turn up for training 0
Underconstruction 3 years
Organisers regret hiring G-Force for Olympic security. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Baddum tschhhhh

Wiggins 'feared attack by cycle-path' 0
Underconstruction 3 years
Priority parking becomes most expensive paralympic ticket 0
Underconstruction 3 years

More to follow...

Dog walking to be introduced as a Demonstration Sport at London Olympics. 0
Al OPecia 3 years

The Olympic Committee, coming under heavy pressure from LOCOG and the Kennel Club, has relented at the last minute, and is to allow Dog Walking and Associated Events into London 2012 as a...

Bradley Wiggins & Team Sky to resolve Euro crisis "Straight after Olympics" 0
grottymonty 3 years

Loads more heroics soon...

Insurance Industry shocked to discover has early onset Alzheimers 0
Ian Searle 3 years

And compare ze meerkat is dyslexic...

Kennel Club defies critics by launching dog with two cocks 3
3 years

In an apparent snub to critics who claim pedigree dogs are inbred, mutated and miserable, the Kennel Club has released a 'breed standard' for a dog with two cocks. "Just look at his little face, you...

Disturbing Plastic Surgery for Pets Trend Sweeping Across United States 3
HIGNFY 3 years

Pet owners wanting to turn their pets into lookalikes of the favourite celebrities, a craze that began in Los Angeles, could be headed to the UK. Plastic surgery for dogs and cats is big business in...

WMDs don't kill people, George Bush and his Poodle kill people, says Iran 1
ronseal 3 years
Syria promises UN to pay it's dairy farmers more. 0
wallster 3 years

Another victory for international diplomacy. Nod to Medici...