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Government programme to encourage non-muslims to become terrorists

Maria Miller, Minister for Equalities, today announced a programme to encourage non-muslims to become terrorists. At a press conference today, she said: 'For too long, we have denied people of other...

3
John Wiltshire 31.05.13 1:35pm
John Wiltshire
Fireman Sam will cover Trumpton and Camberwick Green as well as Pontypandy

Due to government cutbacks, the fire services at Camberwick Green and Trumpton have been amalgamated with those in Pontypandy. There was anger in Trumpton as Captain Flack, Pugh, Pugh, Barney...

0
John Wiltshire 31.05.13 1:18pm
John Wiltshire
Deptford man has dream explored 'inception-style'

Inspired by the mind-bending Hollywood blockbuster – Inception - scientists have bravely infiltrated the layered subconscious of Dave Blanch, a forklift operative from Deptford, only to find a...

1
NorthernGravy 31.05.13 12:14pm
DraculaBranded
Pakistan Taliban elect next deputy to be blown up in a drone attack

After the death of Wali-ur-Rehman, the Pakistan Taliban have selected Khan Said as next in line to be blown up in a US drone attack. The hotly uncontested election heard impassioned speeches from...

3
johnnydobbo 31.05.13 11:48am
Wrenfoe
Google agrees to block offensive images of Home Secretary

"It's no fun at all having that old hag's fizzog pop up every time you're searching for porn," says CEO Erich Schmidt...

1
Landfill 31.05.13 10:47am
NewBiscuit
Reality TV in crisis as Britain faces ‘chronic shortage of wankers’

The broadcasting world is said to be facing a watershed moment as TV producers have been forced to admit that Britain’s’ stock of easily exploited, egotistical twats is running dangerously low....

10
TheNewsWalrus 31.05.13 10:20am
Midfield Diamond
Coalition split over moves to arm British soldiers in Afghanistan 1
baron la croix 31.05.13 9:55am
Wrenfoe
Nick Clegg disavows explorer Nick Hancock

Fears that the Deputy Prime Minister may be out of touch, were raised when Mr. Clegg suspended Nick Hancock from the Liberal Democrat Party. Mr. Clegg seemed unconcerned that Nick Hancock is a...

0
Wrenfoe 31.05.13 8:40am
Wrenfoe
Labour isn't working....

http://www.trekandmountain.com/wp-content/uploads/everest_sm-590x442.jpg, it's too busy climbing Everest. (P.S. for the benefit of our younger reader..see...

2
Son of Barnabas 31.05.13 7:41am
Titus
Moths finally twig if they come out during the day there will be loads of light 3
Smart Alex 31.05.13 7:40am
Titus
Incompatible Computer Programmers Divorce 2
Iggy Pop-Barker 31.05.13 7:39am
Titus
Fantasy football latest: Real Madrid to take on Unreal Madrid 3
nickb 31.05.13 7:39am
Titus
Australian 'Jesus' turns Fosters into lager at a wedding ceremony 3
ginty 31.05.13 7:38am
Titus
Inspectors find sea zoo 'unfit for porpoise' 4
baron la croix 31.05.13 7:38am
Titus
Research shows 8 out of 10 recycling workers are down in the dumps 2
Ian Searle 31.05.13 7:37am
Titus
After the rat on Mars, astronomers have now discovered a hamster in Uranus. 4
Son of Barnabas 31.05.13 7:36am
Titus
First civil partnership divorce ends in gay abandon 7
custard cream 31.05.13 7:32am
Titus
Hordes Of Romanian Badgers Poised To Swarm Into UK To Replace Culled Badgers 0
Titus 31.05.13 7:13am
Titus
Vintage Tupperware collector seals deal with kitchenalia museum 0
Dick Everyman 31.05.13 6:01am
Dick Everyman
NewsBiscuit latest: It's two, fifty-nine, and fifty seconds, says Speaking Clock 0
Arthur 31.05.13 2:07am
Arthur
"Want to borrow a fiver until Friday?" asks Office of Fair Trading

[Psst! Tenners available soon] ...

0
Arthur 31.05.13 1:28am
Arthur
NewsBiscuit exclusive: Honest, hard-working and kind person makes headline news

Eight-part series starts today ...

1
Arthur 30.05.13 11:42pm
Arthur
The Self-Loathing Society publishes annual list of unachievable goals.

Loads more soon. Or not...

2
sredni vashta 30.05.13 11:24pm
sredni vashta
North IKEAN meatballs reckoned to be the dog's bollocks.

Hat tip to Oxbridge...

0
weematt 30.05.13 10:27pm
weematt
Tension builds between North IKEA and South IKEA over Gnomes

The new advert for IKEA garden furniture that depicts a battle between uncaring, brutal, modernising garden owners and a group of defenceless, poorly armed garden gnomes has revealed a deep cultural...

13
weematt 30.05.13 8:26pm
Titus
Working Men's Club comedian barred when wife turns out to be a size 8 0
brownpaperreporter 30.05.13 7:49pm
brownpaperreporter
Spanish A&E manned by Bon Jovi‏

The American rock band, Bon Jovi, have agreed to support staff at the beleaguered, Hospital Niño Jesús in Madrid. "I'll Be There for You", insist the New Jersey boys, who have been juggling their...

2
Wrenfoe 30.05.13 3:49pm
Wrenfoe
RBS introduces new Food Bank App

Despite recent online glitches, RBS has decided to roll out the android version of their "Food Bank" App. Customers will be able to log in to the nearest stockpile of unwanted canned goods, and...

0
Wrenfoe 30.05.13 2:19pm
Wrenfoe
Gary Lineker suffering from advanced Affogeyosis aka Boycs-Trueman syndrome

no more, please....

0
Bertrand Twisted 30.05.13 12:54pm
Bertrand Twisted
Facebook offers comfort to "comfort women"

In an unprecedented move to avoid future litigation, Mark Zuckerberg announced that he would be asking for forgiveness across a range of sexual exploitation issues. Having already apologised to the...

2
Wrenfoe 30.05.13 11:01am
sredni vashta