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Nick Clegg to address empty Auditorium for Lib Dem conference 2
simonjmr 3 years

The Lib Dem's today have announced that Nick Clegg will emulate his action movie hero at this years Lib Dem conference and address and empty auditorium "Apparently Clint Eastwood had an argument...

Couples with 'boring sex' to be permitted more breaks under EU ruling 0
Squudge 3 years

more soon. sorry but I am going to have to do something with this one:, clicky ->...

Dyslexic man's joy short lived... 4
Smart Alex 3 years

When he realises what his girlfriend's note actually said was that she 'fancies Alan'...

Cabinet reshuffle: Ken Clarke and Baroness Warsi shift to 'Kitchen Cabinet' role 4
pinxit 3 years

Ken Clarke is stepping down as Justice Secretary and moved to become 'Minister without Portfolio but with a Trolley' by David Cameron as part of a wide-ranging reshuffle. Conservative Party co-chair...

BBC TV comedy Citizen Khan hailed as 'final proof' that time-travel is possible 11
dvo4fun 3 years

more soon. Unfortunately...

Roman documents found show ancient dispute over 'third highway' 1
Perks 3 years

Archaeologists in central London have said the discovery of Roman documents near Westminster show that transport has been a hot topic since the days when Caesar was a ruler and not just a salad. The...

Cameron promises homes fit for burglars 0
BenB 3 years
Sea World sacks over-weight trainers as 'not fit for porpoise' 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Tailor fires apprentice for not being a good fit 0
Dumbnews 3 years
New fashion trend emerges among adolescents of wearing pants at their waist 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Brave burglar Richard Rochford to be nominated for Pride in Britain award 0
custard cream 3 years
Jeremy Hunt - real name revealed ? 0
FlashArry 3 years

We are all aware of the Gideon/George Osborn name transplant for the chancellor, but evidence has come to light of another member of the Cabinet having a name change to 'improve' their image and...

Sponsors for new bravery awards sought 1
hero2zero 3 years

TV chiefs are today searching for new sponsors for “The Burglar and Thug National Bravery Awards,” ceremony to be held in November 2012, Original sponsors, HMP Adventure Holidays and Cops Catch...

Proportion of private patients among GB Paralympic Team ‘too high’ says report 1
Midfield Diamond 3 years

There was further criticism of the NHS last night when a study revealed that more than a third of the British Paralympic team had had their various medical conditions treated in private clinics; such...

Millionaires' Row, Chelsea, Straight In There To Build A Second Conservatory.... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.Would you believe?, "Gee, second conservatories could do wonders for Britain, don't you know."...

Grayling to “bring back hanging for gays and unemployed; pardon all bankers and 0
Reg Herring 3 years

Grayling to “bring back hanging for gays and unemployed; pardon all bankers and phone hackers” An unemployed gay couple living in a Bed and Breakfast are to sue Justice Minister Chris Gayling...

Extensions to terms of office up to 8 years will be allowed without elections 0
simonjmr 3 years

House of Commons extensions of up to 8 years will be allowed without elections, were unveiled today by the Coalition government. More soon...

New squatting laws could be used to remove the coalition government 0
simonjmr 3 years
Guardian Ethical Dilemma Over Whether To Call Disabled Burglars "Brave" 0
thisisall1word 3 years
Edward Milliband butches up with removal of vagina 2
Je Margarette Rien 3 years

Edward Milliband has taken heart of David Camerons’ criticque of his butchness and has asked some doctors to look into his vagina. By removing it he hopes to become a sweating, butch serious...

Planning restrictions be relaxed: airports can be added to back gardens 0
steve_l 3 years

The government wants to get planning officers "off people's backs" with a relaxation of current rules in England. For a limited period, people will be allowed to build larger extensions on houses...

Third wank of the day 'getting just a little out of hand' 3
Ironduke 3 years
Scunthorpe squirrel vows to finish the job properly next time. 2
Queen of Tarts 3 years
Norman Tebbit hailed as 'visionary force' behind GB Olympic cycling success 11
pinxit 3 years
Ugly surgeon unable to remove patients eye sore 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Tomtom blamed as Genome map leads to deadend 0
kjo36 3 years
Britain swamped with zombies as Atos send the dead back to work 4
Carter 3 years

Britain was swamped with zombies when the dead returned to work as part of the government's controversial benefits cutback. Despite death being regarded by many as the ultimate in invalidity...

An Idiots Guide to the Political Parties 9
seymour totti 3 years

Does politics confuse you? Do you really know what each party stands for? Well, sit back and relax whilst we bring you NewsBiscuits guide to the 3 main political parties in the UK. Conservatives...

Clegg promoted to new post of 'Minister for everything that's really shit' 1
antharrison 3 years

Former deputy prime minister has spoken of his delight by being promoted by David Cameron into the new position of 'Minister for everthing that's really shit.' 'When David first told me of the move...

Embarrassment at NASA as Marianne Faithful's Mars curiosity pictures published 1
charlies_hat 3 years