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Chancellor’s Budget: Independence for Liverpool

The Chancellor has today astounded critics by proposing that the City of Liverpool is to be forcibly given independence from the UK. He further announced the construction of a 20 mile wall in the...

20
Sinnick 21.03.13 5:11am
Yikes
deleted 0
Yikes 21.03.13 5:02am
Yikes
Chancellor Assists British Film Remake Industry by Scrapping Pastiche Tax

Roger Moore soon...

0
mugwump 21.03.13 1:19am
mugwump
Highways Move to keep Highways Moving

You would be forgiven for thinking that the biggest cause of delays on our roads, and cause of resultant road rage, are the increasing number of retarded drivers who insist on slowing down to...

6
Big Ben 21.03.13 12:31am
Midnight Dreary
Chancellor celebrates UN happiness day with the budget

No more soon...

2
Not Amused 20.03.13 11:58pm
Not Amused
Article found in Headline 0
Big Ben 20.03.13 11:40pm
Big Ben
James Herbert funeral to have sex scene about a third of the way through

In a poignant statement, the family of deceased horror writer James Herbert announced today that the author's funeral will contain a "full-on sex scene about a third of the way in", followed, after...

6
Midnight Dreary 20.03.13 11:19pm
Big Ben
Tom Tom ends unsuccessful endorsement deal with One Direction... 0
deskpilot3 20.03.13 11:04pm
deskpilot3
Jim Davidson arrested on comedy charges 3
AReader 20.03.13 10:53pm
Squudge
Li-Lo advised to Li-Lo on a Li-Lo

Troubled 26 year old actress Lindsay Lohan was told by her frustrated Del Air Prosecutor today “You don’t seem to understand, we’re all worried about you, and just want you well again.” To...

7
Big Ben 20.03.13 10:50pm
Big Ben
Blow to Osborne as Haiti refuses to cancel UK's debt 0
LensCap 20.03.13 10:45pm
LensCap
Pope on a Rope to make global Christmas comeback

"Soap on a Rope", that trusty 60's shower room accessory and stocking filler of last resort, is understood to have inspired a remarkable vatican enterprise just in time for next Christmas. In an...

0
BewsNiscuit 20.03.13 10:42pm
BewsNiscuit
Tearful George Osborne “enormously grateful for all the suggestions”

The Chancellor of the Exchequer spoke movingly in the Commons today about the sheer volume of helpful advice he received when writing the Budget. “Clearly, the views of constituents are useful, but...

8
dvo4fun 20.03.13 10:42pm
LensCap
Cyprus to boost honey production in "Plan Bee"

More to follow...

0
apepper 20.03.13 10:31pm
apepper
Less schools teaching grammar 2
LensCap 20.03.13 10:14pm
AReader
Michael Owen: Simply the best

“Michael Owen: simply the best. So spoke casualty nurse Steven Oakes late last night when asked to reflect on the former footballers numerous appearances in A&E throughout his career. “Oh...

4
irreverendJ 20.03.13 10:05pm
Midnight Dreary
Roles reversed as altar boy kisses the Pope’s ring 1
Gary Gonads 20.03.13 10:00pm
Perks
1p a pint cut in beer duty triggers wild celebrations all over UK 0
custard cream 20.03.13 9:37pm
custard cream
Man with nervous tic buys four houses at auction by accident 0
Gary Gonads 20.03.13 9:30pm
Gary Gonads
Diet plan promising 100% loss of bodyweight is flawed, say critics.

Nutritionists working in the United States claim a new diet plan will allow followers to lose 100% of their unsightly body weight. “Never before has a diet system been able to promise so much,”...

0
CulchaVulcha 20.03.13 8:33pm
CulchaVulcha
Osborne to impose tax on people who can't spell his name

No 'U' turn...

0
LensCap 20.03.13 7:49pm
LensCap
Budget Rating Agencies upgrade Britain from Omnishambles to Oligoshambles. 0
reforse 20.03.13 6:22pm
reforse
Fantasy Football manager to get opportunity to manage Blackburn

Blackburn today have announced that Steve Kean will be sacked immediately as managaer following the diasterous start to the 2011 / 12 Premiership season. The Indian poultry and pharmaceutical giants...

4
simonjmr 20.03.13 4:21pm
Midfield Diamond
Science news: aN element of confusion discovered in periodic table. 7
sigmund 20.03.13 2:39pm
Titus
Wine Drinkers Riot As Chancellor Announces Free Beer for The Workers 0
Titus 20.03.13 2:28pm
Titus
Government's 'Christmas Boxes' for troops will be mostly coffin-shaped 0
dvo4fun 20.03.13 1:58pm
dvo4fun
Osbourne to set budget 'Deal or No Deal" style twenty-two sealed red boxes

Voters choose which budget they want...

1
Ian Searle 20.03.13 1:39pm
Squudge
Gordon Ramsey opens new ‘swear at your table’ restaurant...

Famously foul-mouthed celebrity chef, Gordon Ramsey, has opened a new restaurant with a contemporary twist. Diners can discover, at first hand, what it’s like to work long hours for low pay in a...

9
Tripod 20.03.13 1:21pm
Tripod
Shoe found on high street 3
Truebiscuit 20.03.13 1:17pm
Lucy4
Osborne to announce joint venture between NHS and Match Attax

In an effort to increase commercial pressures within the NHS, the Chancellor, in his budget today, is set to announce a joint venture with Match Attax trading cards which will encourage operating...

4
LensCap 20.03.13 1:16pm
Lucy4