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Cameron returns to London having made the case for Scottish independence 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
British Museum unveils new collection of ancient Greek artefacts 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Isle of Wight technology company invents multi-coloured pen. 8
bonjonelson 3 years

A leading research institute on the Isle of Wight has come up with the latest in high-tech devices aimed at bolstering the island's fledgling Information Technology sector - a pen with multiple...

Australian censors ban crude oil 0
bonjonelson 3 years
Man admits to having an on/off relationship with appliance. 6
writinginbsl 3 years
Musical Theatre to be reclassified as torture by UN 1
Shandy 3 years

The hellish 'art form' of musical theatre is to be made illegal in most Western countries, it was stated yesterday. It comes as a spate of dreadful musicals have plagued theatre goers in recent years...

Queen thanks Sean Penn as she sees error of her ways and hands back Falklands. 1
MADJEZ 3 years

'It was so obvious when I heard the paparazzi-punching amateur statesman' said the monarch yesterday as she handed the islands over to Argentina. The British public and military veterans alike hailed...

Ambassador quits after one too many Ferrero Rocher gags at reception 0
hughesroland 3 years
Oscar for best flower arrangement in film goes to Florist Whittaker 0
Smart Alex 3 years
Plan to superscript punctuation raises question marks 5
apepper 3 years

More to follow<sup>?</sup>...

Huhne offers to serve ex-wife's prison sentence... 1
Smart Alex 3 years

just as long as it's to be in a womens' prison...

Thinking outside the square swallowed up by vicious circle 0
Nick McCarr 3 years
XXX Olympiad to feature synchronised rimming 1
button 3 years

Tip of the hat to Golgo for the theme...

Gay bees easy to spot explains expert as 'they come out in hives' 2
dicky37 3 years

[more soon]...

Teenager to appeal to Strasbourg over right to be bored 1
roybland 3 years

Ipswich teenager Sharon Jones is appealing to the European Court of Human Rights over what she claims is a violation of her human right to be bored under article nine which guarantees freedom of...

'Southern Discomfort' whiskey may help bowel problems 1
nickb 3 years

Irritable bowel symptom sufferers could have their tempers sweetened by a new whiskey that combines traditional down home Tenessee style distilling with the latest in rectal relief therapy. Southern...

Scotland leaves United Kingdon, replaced by Belgium 18
Zadok the second 3 years

In a stunning diplomatic coup Prime Minister David Cameron has announced the formal accession of Belgium to the United Kingdom, replacing the tired and grumpy Scottish nation. "It's been an open...

Dyson announce bag-less, no-bin, no filter cleaner 2
hero2zero 3 years

The new Dyson, “The Dyson Black” will soon be unleashed onto to market, the first to utilise Large Hadron technology. No bag, no bin, just a black hole in a tube! Final trials are now underway in...

Man who doesn't want something disappointed because opponent does. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Man's superior sexual technique fails after forgetting valentines day gift 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Man with flu goes online and diagnoses himself with cancer 1
Dumbnews 3 years
Apple board holds Seance-Ference Call with Steve Jobs to ask WTF Do we do next? 1
ronseal 3 years

Senior Apple executives are in emergy seance talks with Steve Jobs as they try to hammer out an agreement over what the fuck to do next. Jobs departed this life leaving a lot of questions...

David Cameron has a "Scottish surname" to get votes against independence 0
simonjmr 3 years

Prime Minister David Cameron has outlined he has a Scottish surname get votes against Scottish independence, he further announced that it mean "bent nose" and that ginger hair, a liking for deep...

New review site launches, "myhorrorstory.com" 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Prince Philip seized by bailiffs as Greek debt crisis deepens 0
cinquecento 3 years
Paul McCartney is giving up cannabis because of his daughter .. 0
Gourd Almighty 3 years

69 year-old former Beatle, Sir Paul McCartney, has told Rolling Stone magazine that he is to stop smoking cannabis because of his 8 year-old daughter, Beatrice. In his interview with Rolling Stone,...

NHS to move offshore in tax dodge 0
GrahamB 3 years

Following the revelation that 25 civil servants may have paid 18% less tax as a result of having their salaries paid into personal holding companies, Health Secretary Andrew Lansley today revealed...

Ticket sales for Houston soar after star’s death. 1
Babydaddy 3 years

In an unprecedented move, American Airlines have put on extra flights in the last few days as demand for tickets to Houston, Texas rocketed just hours after news of the R n B superstar’s untimely...

Luvverly Jubilee - Queen's Jubilee agenda to feature live beheadings 0
Newsquelch 3 years

Buckingham Palace have today published further details of the forthcoming Jubilee festivities. Monarchy fans queued up outside the palace gates for eight days without healthcare or sanitation to hear...

Argentine and British government 'stunned' by Falklands decision to join Jamaica 0
graciesdad 3 years

Argentine and British government officials were today said to be 'stunned' at the decision of residents of the Falkland Islands to become part of Jamaica. "In many ways it makes perfect sense" said...