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Quickie Royal Wedding Due To Tory Cuts 0
Jesse Bigg 2 years

"I do." "And I do.", Followed by meat paste sarnies all round...

British man breaks world record for time taken to get off a retail park 1
brownpaperreporter 2 years

Brian Harris, 44, was “overjoyed” when it was confirmed by the Guinness Book of Records today. After completing his shopping at 14:45 on Saturday, he eventually got out of Bicester Village Outlet...

Muslims Against Crusades ends in nil nil draw 0
ronseal 2 years

The much anticipated clash Muslims Against Crusades ended in a dull scoreless draw, as it emerged that neither side had any substance. "There weren't any crusades in evidence, and their opponents...

EastEnders “bestiality” storyline criticised. 0
ThatAndyDavisFellow 2 years

EastEnders bosses defended their new “bestiality” storyline yesterday in the face of renewed criticism from animal rights campaigners, church groups and rival TV companies who wish that they had...

Patriotic historian unfurls German flag to celebtrate royal wedding 2
antharrison 2 years
Dangerous chemicals found in olives. 4
Jonny Rockets 2 years

Scientists in England at the University of Reading have found new evidence to support the suspected theory that eating olives causes a person to become insane. The high levels of oil found in green...

Truebiscuit: Woman caught with 1kg of meth in her vagina "innocent" 5
Izziere 2 years

"I didn't know they were narcotics", she tells court. [url=http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/uae/crime/passenger-charged-after-drugs-found-in-her-private-parts-police-say-1.796839]News story here[/url]...

Warning after dolphins 'harassed' 0
Mr Payne 2 years

Jet-skiers were yesterday given a police warning after a pod of dolphins was "harassed" while swimming off the Dorset coast., Local fisherman, Tom Bunting, reported the jet skiers after seeing one...

Secret military organisation complains that not enough people applying to join. 0
dominic_mcg 2 years
Arsenal's new sackcloth and ashes kit to be revealed today. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 2 years
Argos to stay open later for royal wedding guests seeking last minute gifts. 0
dominic_mcg 2 years
Jordan takes out Inverse SuperInjunction, so she's cited in EVERY news story 2
Ironduke 2 years
Evolution outlawed in Alabama. Natural selection now prohibited. 3
bonjonelson 2 years

In a landmark ruling, the state legislature of Alabama has approved a controversial new law outlawing all forms of evolution, including all forms of natural selection. State Troopers and Park...

Daily Mail fails to mention market price of someone's house in story. More soon 1
FormerlyAlOPecia 2 years

Why do they have to do that?...

Huge Ancient Arms Cache Unearthed in Greece. 11
BewsNiscuit 2 years

More theories were emerging last night, from the Greek island of Milos, surrounding the arms find, dating from circa 130 BC being described as possibly resolving the most significant archeological...

Wenger claims responsibility for banking crisis, Japan earthquake..... 0
dannyboy206 2 years

In a surprising admission, Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has claimed responsibility for the part he played in the world banking crisis and recession. He has also admitted his guilt for the...

UK decides to stick with "Single Alternative Party". More soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 2 years
Scots launch web search engine "Froogle". Less soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 2 years
Dr Who's rectum "bigger than it looks from the outside". More soo-ooh-ooh-n. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 2 years

..thanks Simon...

Health fears for Prince Harry as unseasonably warm and sunny weather continues 0
simonjmr 2 years

As the unseasonable heatwave continues in the UK, Royal pundits have expressed fears that carrot topped Prince Harry may be the first royal best man casualty in history. A fleet of big bertha's will...

One liner? 0
Mr Payne 2 years

Crown Prince of Bahrain admits turning down Royal wedding invite as he 'couldn't sort a babysitter'...

Jesus suspended for wearing cross at work 23
Des and Stan 2 years

Jesus of Nazareth was suspended today after wearing a cross to work. Simon, also known as Peter, or Rocky to his mates, sales manager of a small collective of preachers and miracle workers, said...

Liverpool footballers and WAGs invited to royal street party 5
antharrison 2 years

Stephen Gerrard his wife Alex Curran, and the entire Liverpool squad and their WAGs have expressed their delight at being invited to a street party to celebrate the royal wedding. 'On a Friday I'm...

Concern over religious groups being given "Big Society" projects. 1
404 Not Found 2 years

Community groups have raised concerns that big society projects have been given to groups who may not be best suited to running those projects. The family planning clinic in Northampton is now...

"Quit while you're ahead son" Advises Fergie 0
Elthan_Safety 2 years

As Tores opens coconut shy as confidence returns...

Attractive woman in bikini breaks silence over unseasonably warm weather 7
Mary Evans 2 years

A size 10 blonde from Southend-on-Sea has come forward in a fetching and diminutive halterneck swimsuit to go public with her views on the unusually warm bank holiday weekend. ‘It’s really...

Dissident republicans planning a challenging Easter bomb hunt this year 1
Duncan Biscuit 2 years
Superinjunction stops police asking footballers about sexual harassment on ferry 1
Duncan Biscuit 2 years
Members of Muse deny existence of new song 'Super Massive Injunction' 0
JayGee 2 years
Cameron Accuses Local Authority Town Criers of "Oh Yez" Bias during AV Run Up 0
BewsNiscuit 2 years

Revolting Yorkshire town criers retaliate with "Oh Nay, Oh Nay, Oh Nay", lad. More soon...