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Nokia unveil the new N0M8s; the world's first 'Smart Human' 14
Perks 3 years

With the number of ‘Smart’ Phones predicted to overtake the number of people on the planet, mobile phone giant Nokia have unveiled a new product that will result in the creation of the ‘Smart...

Good feet for a big man footy logic sees first England call up for Danny La Rue 0
ronseal 3 years
Hodgson 'Crouch not selected for hoofballing reasons' 0
Underconstruction 3 years
Dalglish sacked for 'soccerballing' reasons 0
Underconstruction 3 years
Dodgy car salesman defends dropping Rio from stocklist 0
Midfield Diamond 3 years

A Kia Rio has been removed from the back of a second-hand car showroom by the new proprietor after it failed to impress him. Roy Hodgkinson of Canning Town Motors defended his decision, saying ...

Londonderry Air chosen as Ireland's entry for 2012's Rear of the year contest 0
simonjmr 3 years
Olympic Torch stuck behind tourist caravan for 2 hours in Cornwall 2
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
BBC TOTP repeat bosses arrested for justifying the course of perverts. 5
bonjonelson 3 years
BBC confirms plan to move all men's programmes to Dave 6
3 years

The BBC has confirmed that it no longer intends to show programmes that appeal directly to men on BBC One or BBC Two, and will transfer any show with a glimmer of masculinity straight to rival...

Back-of-shirt letter suppliers delighted at Oxlade-Chamberlain's selection 0
Midfield Diamond 3 years
Prophets of doom continuing to make predictions like there's no tomorrow 2
Haywood Manley 3 years
Greece offers to sell Britain the Elgin Marbles 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years
Roy Hodgson praises potential of 'brown generation'. 0
Ian 3 years

More sick as a parrot soon...

Amnesiac gynaecologist’s memory returning in “random snatches” 6
Spoinge 3 years
Greece 'making a Drachma out of a crisis' complains Merkel 1
pinxit 3 years
Britons warned not to overdo it after wild spree of Joey Barton condemnation 4
ronseal 3 years

Britain finally got to feel good about itself on Sunday, after Joey Barton's sending off released a wave of indignation and self importance that swept across England, Wales, Northern Ireland and even...

Bosnian butcher to sue War Criminal Nicknames Office. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Npower announce new 'hybrid' power station 3
Perks 3 years

Npower, the UK energy supplier has today announced it's plans to turn Didcot power station into the world's first 'hybrid' power station. The move comes as the company try to find even more ways to...

Store Manager in Liverpool 'leaves his post' following poor run of results 2
Perks 3 years

The Manager of the Liverpool branch of Maplins, Danny McKleesh, has shocked the retail world by ‘leaving his post’, which he has held for just over a year. His decision comes after a run of...

London pubs to set minimum price for alcohol of £5 per unit 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Slimming World seek venues with larger car parks 1
medici2471 3 years

more soon please...

Fenn Street School's Norman Potter to head proposed Greek caretaker government, 2
Zen 3 years
SCOTTISH ALCOHOLICS FACE BOOZE vsTHRIFT DILEMMA. 4
daneade 3 years

Penny-pinching booze-loving Scots have been backed into a corner by new price rises on alcohol., Faced with price rises on the full spectrum of Scottish jolly water, tight-fisted booze-sozzled Jocks...

Bisto kid in hitler youth scandal - 'I was only following odours' 3
Haywood Manley 3 years
Kenny Dalglish sacked for thinking Andy Carroll is a great player 0
Hooch 3 years
"Kenny Dalglish ensures me Andy Carroll is a great player" - Roy Hodgson 0
Hooch 3 years
Plans to move children's programming leaves "next to nothing" in BBC1 schedule 0
Haywood Manley 3 years

Following reports that programmes made specifically to cater for the attention spans of those under ten will be moved permanently to the CBBC and CBeebies channels, concerns have been raised that...

Writer struggles to describe incident where chicken ran round with head cut off 7
Yikes 3 years

The much awaited release of the new Emmerdale Farm novel has been delayed a further 3 months as author Lance Parkin searches for a way to describe a poultry decapitation incident in the climatic...

Lord Leveson promoted to Witch finder General 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 years
Rebekah Brooks faces trial by ducking stool 6
3 years

Amidst claims that her arrest is part of a witch hunt, it has been revealed that Rebekah Brooks will face trial by ducking stool. With drowning indicating innocence and floating being a sure sign of...