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White footballers confirm they have no problem with John Terry 0
grottymonty 3 years
Queen leads Nation in remembering the financial fallen 7
Gong of Fur 3 years

In an act of remembrance marking 25 years since the Big Bang, the Queen, members of the Royal Family and political leaders gathered at Canary Wharf to lead the Nation’s mourning for the financial...

FDA investigation triggered by bad applesauce 0
georgia 3 years

Washington state apple manufacturer Snokist had to recall several hundred thousands of cans of applesauce in 2011. The facility that processes this applesauce is now under FDA investigation. The...

Silvio Berlusconi to start "Charging for it" 1
apepper 3 years

Silvio Berlusconi, the Italian Prime Minister has responded to the downgrading of Italy's debt rating by saying that "the beautiful ladies will have to pay for my favours". Berlusconi went on to say...

Veterans to wear pansies out of respect for death of decent England performances 14
3 years
Toon Pies now 70% off all year round: was £15, now £4.50 1
kga6 3 years

Anyone else been in a Sports Direct? This is pretty much their sales strategy...

Silvio Berlusconi to be fired from cannon 0
grumblechops 3 years

Outgoing Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi today ensured he would leave office with dignity, by being fired from a cannon. In accordance with the traditions of his hometown Milan, Mr...

Reduced price Wig Manufacturer ensures customers have "less toupee". 2
seymour totti 3 years
Bogus doctor, who faked qualifications, given third degree by police. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 3 years
Wonka's Everlasting Gobstoppers are ball bearings, say Trading Standards. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
ITV Wrestling tonight: "Lord" Coe v Cry Baby Hague - No Mercy 0
Drylaw 3 years
Minor victory for capital punishment activists 0
gaijintendo 3 years

People sentenced to death by hanging are now allowed to wank during their execution...

Upset as Sunderland FC bids to buy right to St James' Park namesake 0
ndbrown123 3 years

Newcastle considering suspending Metro trains to Sunderland in response. Updates coming soon...

Mafia demand apology for being likened the James Murdoch 1
Mark66 3 years
Martians stop Russian probe because it fails immigration regulations 0
Sinnick 3 years
Single-molecule teapot hailed as being slightly more useful than a chocolate one 3
Squib 3 years

A multi-disciplinary team of synthetic chemists, biochemists and a former presenter of Antiques Roadshow today unveiled the world’s first single-molecule teapot in an exhibition at the Millenium...

Italy to transfer debts to credit cards and pay 0% interest for 6 months 3
ThunderSquid 3 years

In a last ditch attempt to rescue its beleaguered economy, Italy announced it is to transfer its debts to credit and store cards and save a whopping £12bn in interest over the next six months. It...

Tom Watson 'accidentally decapitated' with chainsaw after Murdoch inquisition 1
vertical 3 years

Tom Watson: "have you ever heard the term muerta?", Jimmy Murdoch: "I was buying cannoli at the time of the alleged incident"., Tom Watson: "You must be the first mafia boss in history who didn't...

Comet shops sold for £2 plus £37.50 for an extended warranty 9
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Sky Atlantic to show the Murdochanos: everyday wiseguy newspaper publishers 2
simonjmr 3 years

The Mudochanos is an Australian - American television drama series that revolves around the New York based media mogul and mobster Rupert Murdochano and the difficulties he faces as he tries to...

Newcastle fans to launch protest if they can find any staff that will listen 0
Midfield Diamond 3 years

Geordie fans, upset at the re-naming of St James' Park to the Sports Direct stadium, are wandering around inside the ground looking for someone to complain to. However, despite its vast size, the...

Terry and Ferdinand to release re-mix of 'Ebony & Ivory' in time for Christmas. 1
Bryan with a Y 3 years

Simon Cowell is said to be furious at the latest, cynical attempt to highjack his god-given right to be No1...

Chav Geordies 'all wi’ smiling faces, going down the Sports Direct' 1
Midfield Diamond 3 years

(variation on a theme)...

Murdoch shows his human side: blinks and coughs twice during testimony 0
Drylaw 3 years
NoTW demise threat to national security 0
medici2471 3 years

In a sensational announcement outgoing Home Secretary Theresa May has disclosed that the former tabloid newspaper the News of the World was the commercial arm of the British Security Services. "It...

Greeks not taking Euro crisis seriously as Chaka Demus & Pliers become PM 0
simonjmr 3 years

"Tease Me" More soon...

3000 illiterate chavs riot at SportsDirect Arena, expecting 'Lonsdale ' bargains 0
Bryan with a Y 3 years

Statement expected soon...

New Mel Gibson movie to be called "The Man without a Career" 0
Iamthestig 3 years
"You can't have any of this" austerity Christmas catalogue launches in Italy 0
Iamthestig 3 years
Long Term Unemployed to attend compulsory book club. 0
DavidBlame 3 years

A pilot scheme in London is having a marked effect on unemployment figures, as part of David Cameron’s ‘Big Society’ project claimants receiving jobseekers allowance for more than 18 months are...