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First winner of US X Factor named as Simon Cowell 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Teenage boy offers free thorough checking service on all UK breast implants 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Britons happier than French or Germans 3
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

as they’re neither French or German...

Alan Hansen washday confusion "can I have whites or coloureds washes?" 0
simonjmr 3 years
Man returns e-reader gift, waiting for one that reads rest of alphabet 0
Nick McCarr 3 years
LHC identifies new 'endless funding particle' 1
irregular apple 3 years
Downton’s Michelle Dockery set to top Telegraph WLTF rankings 4
Des Custard 3 years

With only a few days left to go, Michelle Dockery, who plays Lady Mary in TV’s hit period drama Downton Abbey, looks set to top the Telegraph WLTF rankings for 2011, edging out last year’s winner...

'Recipes for homeless people' good, feeding homeless people bad 0
Username 3 years while free speech would let you...

Met Office on alert for rare 'Mushroom Cloud' formation over Korea 0
MT Bucket 3 years
Huhne: Iran's bid for UK Nuclear Reactor building contract "attractive" 0
MT Bucket 3 years
Lib Dems to form a spine by sitting on each other's shoulders. 0
MT Bucket 3 years
Child born with no heart or brain survives and becomes Chancellor of Exchequer 0
MT Bucket 3 years
Kim Jong Il surprise winner of BBC Sports Personality of the Year. 0
MT Bucket 3 years
Liverpool in shock January transfer move for Terry 2
ThunderSquid 3 years

With their title hopes fading fast Liverpool are looking to strengthen their squad ready for an assault on the FIFA racism league table. A Liverpool spokesman said "We are looking for world class...

Switzerland joins embargo of Falkland shipping 0
apepper 3 years

The Central African Republic is considering it's position...

Hands claws its own arm off, to detach itself from Piers Morgan 4
ronseal 3 years
Police declare war on ruthless sculptor gang targeting scrap metal dealers 0
Clarky 3 years

Any mileage, people?...

Alan Hansen face death sentence for saying people of colour are 'coloured' 2
ronseal 3 years

Disgraced football pundit Alan Hansen, could face a death sentence - or worse - for describing people of colour as 'coloured'. In a shocking incident last night, which could see Britain kicked out...

Lloyds TSB to sell 85% of Julie Waters to the treasury. 0
nickb 3 years

Much-loved actress and comedian Julie Waters, for eight years the voice of Lloyds TSB, is to become, literally, a national treasure. Almost. The ailing bank has been forced to sell an 85% in...

Catholic church surprised that Higg's bosun required for mass 2
Smart Alex 3 years

Had previously thought that bread, wine, and incense ought to do it...

KGB polonium suspected to be involved in presumed death of Schrödinger's cat. 0
reforse 3 years
Cuts force Italian PM to begin eating imaginary apples 0
ndbrown123 3 years

Schrödinger family pet is found murdered ...and isn't 0
Smart Alex 3 years
Luis Suarez Racist Attitude Typical of Those Shifty Uruguayans Claim FA 0
thisisall1word 3 years
BNP Council Member Sacked After Dressing as Lib Dem During Stag Do 0
thisisall1word 3 years
Kraft launch a white chocolate version of its famous Chocolate Orange for Xmas. 2
reforse 3 years
City of Newcastle credit rating downgraded from BB to YI 0
cinquecento 3 years
Cameron Having A Moody....... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.His AAA lifestyle under threat...

Milliband to be questioned about ’Stalin-themed’ party. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years
Gorden Kaye sacked from Allo Allo, for being pictured with man in Nazi Uniform 0
Immunis 3 years

to reword Dominic's excellent idea...