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Westminster to give everyone more self-rule with the "Devolving Door Policy" 0
richard_n413 7 minutes

Even Greater Manchester are wanting devolution: bit.ly/ZxWqkR, The pun probably needs a lot of work...

Gordon Brown agreed to help 'No' campaign over dinner at Granita 3
deceangli 20 minutes
San Andreas accuses California of 'blame culture' 4
throngsman 33 minutes
France sell Calais to UK for £12 million in a return to the Middle Ages 0
cinnahmon 39 minutes

In a week when the English were victorious in the latest Scottish War of Independence, the UK government re-enacted another conquest from the Middle Ages and annexed the French port of Calais which...

Farage promises to take Earth out of Solar System 3
deceangli 51 minutes

Nigel Farage is in uncompromising mood. “Watch my lips. No . . . more . . . Martians”. The UKIP leader has vowed to take Earth out of the solar system unless the regulations governing asteroids...

Nationalists claim a victory in Scottish referendum 0
Jim Garner 1 hour

The world’s journalists have declared the United Kingdom the victor in last week’s referendum. But they’ve got it wrong, Alex Salmond has been quietly telling his supporters. ‘Truth is, we...

Scotland to call tenders to move Hadrian's Wall 0
Jim Garner 1 hour

Scots are looking at a big job in coping with the increase in powers and territory that was promised during the referendum. Wikileaks has revealed that England will cede its three northern...

Isle of Man offers to accept Scotland as colony 0
Jim Garner 1 hour

The Scottish independence campaign took a novel twist following the referendum. The Isle of Man has offered to grant colonial status to Scotland. “We have everything here that the Scots were...

Andy Murray apologises to British public for not being a total air-head 3
harrypalmer 1 hour

Following his last minute show of support for the Yes campaign in Thursday's Scottish referendum Andy Murray has issued a statement of apology to the British public. In his apology Murray writes...

Arise Laird Alex, Liberator of London and the Home Counties 5
Squudge 2 hours

It has today emerged that a 'ginger whistle-blower' from within M15 has leaked surveillance material and file minutes of conversations between top civil servants in the Cabinet Office and an un-named...

Cameron to use iTunes for next election 0
throngsman 3 hours

'It's clear that there needs to be change, and both sides of the Scottish border have made it clear that voters want MPs to vote only on matters that concern them and their constituents. That's why...

Scotland apologises to Thatcher over 'Pole tax' misunderstanding. 1
Ted King 4 hours
Britain unites in demanding independence from Essex. 0
Crayon 4 hours

It's the only way...

Pro independence Scots who want a fairer society reject the Barnett formula... 1
blacklesbian 4 hours

actually no they don't. Scotland £8,623 public expenditure per head, Wales £8,139, England £7,121...

Is it George Osborne behind the mask of 'The Gimp Man'? 3
cinnahmon 4 hours

The latest rumour sweeping Colchester is that none other than the Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, is the man behind the black mask of his alter ego, the fundraising rubber fetishist,...

Govt denies bureaucracy as it makes Minecraft subject to planning permission 0
throngsman 6 hours
Gorden Brown calls for a lock-in. Probably going to be popular in Scotland. 0
throngsman 6 hours
Tinsel Town denies shortage of stage names reaching critical status 0
throngsman 7 hours

'It's true to say that all the good, normal names such as John Wayne, Bruce Willis and Gok Wan have been used,' said 'resting' actor Bill Shoveitupmyarse on behalf of the Actors Guild, 'but there are...

Leaked report reveals Cameron offered last Rolo, deep fried, to get no vote 0
throngsman 7 hours
9 out of 10 Scotsmen in London still want change. 4
godly1966 7 hours
'Cameron' sounded more Scottish than 'Salmond', voters admit 0
Squudge 8 hours
Met Office warns this could be the wettest dryest September since records began 0
throngsman 8 hours
Cameron kicked to death as 'Yes' supporters try to vote with their feet again 0
cinnahmon 9 hours
God admits serious doubts over the Archbishop of Canterbury 5
Gary Stanton 9 hours

God admits crisis of faith over the Archbishop of Canterbury God is seriously wondering if Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, is the right man for the job this morning. Following the...

Jihadi John's dad admits his choice of first name for son probably didn't help 1
throngsman 9 hours
Scotland reports best make-up sex yet, rest of UK reports feeling raped 0
throngsman 9 hours
Gordon Brown's vision: blurred, if we're honest 0
throngsman 11 hours
RBS to levy customers to cover cost of 'no' vote 0
throngsman 12 hours

'We had the boxes packed and the removal firm booked,' said Ross McEwan, Group CEO of the beleaguered bank. 'The cleaners had been paid off and we finally settled the milk bill,' he added. 'We had no...

Government denies Barnet formula to determine per head costs attempt at irony 0
throngsman 12 hours
Glasgow 'very disappointed' that people had to use London riot images 0
throngsman 12 hours

'Ah dinna ken why they couldne use any Saturday night photos on Facebook,' said a Glasgow councillor, in response to reports that some Glaswegians had resorted to posting images from the 2011 London...