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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 1 year
Next week's TV highlights 0
harrypalmer 1 hour

Let’s Pole Dance for Comic Relief - Sunday 9pm BBC 2, Why watch Poldark on BBC 1 when you can watch celebrities try their hand at pole dancing as part of Comic Relief 2015. Tonight Anne Widdecombe...

Bell Pottinger "delighted" to secure Isis account 0
Drylaw 2 hours
World Fancy Dress Day a flop as kids stay at home and read books. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 3 hours
Cameron left fuming as Miliband double-dares him to take part in TV debate. 0
dominic_mcg 3 hours
Drivers to use extra 10 minutes to tell traffic wardens to f**k off 1
harrypalmer 4 hours

Drivers in England have welcomed the introduction of a new ten-minute parking leeway rule and say they will make use of the additional grace period by making V-signs and generally being abusive to...

Middle Class Book Day dominated by ennui and existential angst 4
Andrew Alexander 4 hours

Today’s 4th annual Middle Class Book Day has been declared a great success, with over 50 schools in Britain’s leafiest suburbs inviting their pupils to dress as their favourite literary character...

Media Fool Public Into Thinking That Cameron Needs Them More That They Need Him 0
Titus 4 hours
Weekly specials At Aldi for a Changing UK 2
Dun Dunkin 4 hours

Prayer mat, beheading knife and beard trimmer combo 19.99...

Problems Likely As Boy Dresses As Principal Character From The Quran 0
Titus 4 hours
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nickb 5 hours
IT journalists cock-a-hoop at new batch of Americanisms to use in their blogs 0
ronseal 5 hours
" Fly, yes ... Land, no." 0
rob box 5 hours
David Cameron offers to do pre-election debate through medium of dance 0
Smart Alex 5 hours
Hacking latest: Yentob ‘repeatedly called HMV begging for Mick Jagger’s number' 0
CulchaVulcha 5 hours

BBC Head of creationismitivity Alan Yentob said he felt ‘impaled on the sharpened rusty railings of illegal imprivacy’ after having all five of his phones hacked ‘3000 times a day’ by Piers...

Seven-strong election debate to use 'Just a Minute' format. 4
Loundshay 6 hours

Green Party unlikely to do well...

David Cameron washing his hair on night of TV debate 0
Ivan_Edwards 6 hours

David Cameron today rejected claims that he was ‘chickening out’ of doing TV debates in the run-up to the general election, insisting that he couldn’t take part in debates as he had to wash his...

Voldemort was a 'beautiful man radicalised by wizard baby', claims group 3
Adrian Bamforth 7 hours

Lord Voldemort, now revealed to be former Hogwarts student Tom Riddle, was today described by an advocacy group as a 'beautiful man', who's violent actions can be traced back to a 'long campaign of...

Isis invite UK town planners to help rebuild Nimrud 1
Robert Koch 8 hours

In keeping with strict Islamic law, Isis council have invited town planners from some of Britain’s more famous cities to redesign Nimrud town centre. We have successfully stripped out all the old...

Election debate simplified after one participant accidentally cremated 0
sydalg 8 hours
The Harrison Ford/Hans Solo flying joke amnesty thread 4
Adrian Bamforth 9 hours
Cameron agrees to TV debate with Wallace and Gromit 0
farmer giles 9 hours

… after parliamentary stop-motion proposal...

Rory McIlroy ‘sorry’ for downing Harrison Ford plane with wayward drive 0
farmer giles 9 hours

“This will always be an albatross around my neck” joked the out-of-form star, who also admitted to a hole in one of his socks “and is on a par with my worst-ever below-par run”. “It’s a...

Madonna saved by core strength and guardian angels, but mostly her large arse 0
Sinnick 9 hours
Ford aircraft wreck to become first hole of new crazy golf course 0
Bigglesworth 9 hours
MI6 Scary Insect division issues jihadi longlegs warning 2
Smart Alex 10 hours
Destroying old ruins worse then beheadings,burning alive and rapes 0
Dun Dunkin 10 hours

they really done it now...

Harrison Ford's golf handicap mysteriously doubles overnight 0
sydalg 10 hours
Harrison Ford fails to kill self off to avoid more sequels 2
Bigglesworth 10 hours

. Fedora tip to everyone else...

Kid Creole tells Annie 'I'm not jihadi' 0
Smart Alex 11 hours
Unconfirmed reports that Ford landing disrupted by screaming blonde 0
Bigglesworth 11 hours