The NewsBiscuit Writers' Room
Everything on these pages has been submitted by readers of the site and appears here unedited. Potential front page stories as well as one-liners for the ticker bar are welcome, so if you would like to write for NewsBiscuit please post your article on this submission board and then attempt to give yourself maximum votes over and over again. The most prolific and successful contributors will be considered for the coveted title of 'Writer of the Month'.
|Topic — Add New »||Comments||Votes||Author||Freshness|
|Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room||0||Nice Admin Lady||1 year|
|England seals northern border to immigrants||2||
Virgin Trains have announced the suspension of services from Glasgow Central to London Euston. Thousands of Scottish economic migrants have been marooned in Britain's northernmost wasteland dashing...
|Anglo-Spanish beer makers almost organise party.||0||
|IS threaten to destroy Minecraft sites||1||
Islamic State has declared today that UNESCO attempts to recreate the Temple of Bel using the virtual Lego game, Minecraft, would be "destroyed" by IS gamers accessing and corrupting UNESCO servers....
|UN to recreate world heritage sites in Minecraft.||0||
Just like the real thing. And no chance of vandalism by mindless tossers...
|Majority of time on facebook spent judging strangers, admits Zuckerberg||3||
|Tourist arrested after taking the waters at Bath Spar||0||
|Chilcot to return to job of updating Newsbiscuit tickers after finishing report||3||
|Sperm Bank 'crash' more of a squelch||1||
On what financial analysts are calling 'White Tuesday', the UK national sperm bank was forced to admit to a massive loss of savings and that the content of their vault was little more than 'a sticky...
|UK To Have A Referendum Option Choice Decision||0||
To avoid any suggestion of bias, the government has agreed that the public should be allowed to choose whether the wording of Britain's future continued membership of the EU referendum should be:...
|National Sperm Bank merge with HSBC to raise deposits from tight-fisted wankers.||0||
|Chilcot turns to psychic to trace report||0||
|Harry Redknapp pursued around Tesco by reporters on transfer deadline day||0||
||Midfield Diamond||10 hours|
As the transfer window closed last night, former football boss and reckless spender Harry Redknapp was followed around his local supermarket by television journalists. Keen for an incriminating...
|National Sperm Bank management vow 'to make a good fist' of the job||0||
|Vatican prepared to forgive those who voted Tory||0||
In a shock announcement today, Pope Francis has instructed priests to give Catholic voters who voted Tory at the last General Election absolution. This is part of a Holy Year commencing 8th December...
|LibDems envious of National Sperm Bank’s 9 members||2||
|Wife agrees to re-wording of "Can my mum visit?" question||0||
MTF (soon) Like this idea...
|Austrian police find van containing Von Trapp family corpses. More soon.||8||
|EU Referendum question changed to 'Dads Army' invasion graphic to tick or cross||0||
|Rugby player comes out as football fan||15||
||S J Roe||12 hours|
James Richardson, the 18-year-old fullback for Avingdale rugby club's youth side, yesterday came out as a football fan in a tearful confession to his team mates. 'We knew something was amiss; the...
|National Sperm Bank has just 9 wankers||2||
||Dun Dunkin||13 hours|
|Brazil Mayor who ran town through Nintendo DS murdered by ‘rogue Sims’||1||
||Tom Learmouth||14 hours|
Lidiane Leite, mayor of Bom Jardim, was murdered last night by the very Sims she created. Leite ruled the capital of Maranhao state from her luxury apartment, only communicating with residents...
|Netflix rebrands as Netflick||0||
|National Sperm Bank reliance on 9 donors sparksfears of liquidity crisis||0||
|Deadline Day terms added to OED||1||
"Martial Law": the inevitable price increase any English team must pay for trying to purchase a player on Deadline Day. See Ramiro Funes Mori to Everton - "Did you notice Everton announced they'd pay...
|Turks instructed to refer to Turkish Kurds as ‘Turds’ from now on||0||
||farmer giles||16 hours|
|Louis van Gaal signs 3-week-old baby for £75 million||0||
||farmer giles||16 hours|
“Besht dribbler I have ever sheen” beamed Man U supremo, who looks a bit like Robert Mitchum...
|National Sperm Shortage due to HMRC Crackdown on Cash in-hand work||0||
|Kim Kardashian's arsehole to run for president||2||
|The Electoral Commission recommends a change to the referendum question.||2||
Now reads "Should the UK not refuse to not leave membership from the EU?"...
|Palmyra to be rebuilt in London with Lego||0||
||Dun Dunkin||17 hours|
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