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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
United accept giant panda in exchange for Rooney.

Speaking at a press conference at Old Trafford, United boss Jose Mourinho confirmed that ‘want-away’ striker/midfielder Wayne Rooney had finally been offloaded to Chinese League One side Qingxin...

poopscooper 23.02.17 11:49am
Trump concerned that the next pussy he grabs isn't one 0
Sinnick 23.02.17 11:46am
‘Storm Doris’ rages in Shanklin Bingo Hall after pensioner misses Full House

Several Isle of Wight residents have been inconvenienced after Doris Trensham, 79, became ‘very cross’ at missing out on a £23 win at the Bingo on Wednesday night. Insisting that she had called...

Midfield Diamond 23.02.17 11:44am
Midfield Diamond
Trump rescinds transgender bathroom rules after confusing pussy-grabbing trip. 0
dominic_mcg 23.02.17 11:27am
Metropolitan Police now officially run by a Dick. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 23.02.17 11:23am
Dick Everyman
Trump bans transgender golden showers

Donald Trump's unhealthy interest in all things urinary has now extended to a ban on transgender evacuations anywhere 'in the vicinity' of the Presidential face. Having revoked transgender student...

Wrenfoe 23.02.17 10:35am
London Transport relief at Cressida Dick Met appointment

London Transport has voiced its relief that Ms Cressida Dick has been appointed the first female Metropolitan Police Commissioner. 'We are pleased that Ms Dick has found work as London's police...

roybland 23.02.17 9:51am
Fears Elvis may have faked own death in hope of posthumous Brit award 0
sydalg 23.02.17 9:48am
Trump: transgender toilets in line for a slash 0
beckfordburger 23.02.17 9:43am
Government Tentatively Asks Daesh To Repay Ronald Fiddler's £1m Compensation

'Er, if it wouldn't be too much trouble, chaps? '...

Titus 23.02.17 9:05am
Fury over Brits lack of diversity as Bowie fails to win some catergories.

.. thought he was a shoe-in for Best International Female., Maybe he'll get that one next year. More deification soon...

MADJEZ 23.02.17 8:38am
New child freindly fire alarm to play ice cream van jingle. 1
Al OPecia 23.02.17 8:31am
Trump Is A Fantastic President. Literally.

'The word "fantastic" is frequently used - in fact, grossly over-used - to describe someone or something favourably' says linguistics professor Lewis Morris of Bagwyllydiart university. 'When they...

Titus 23.02.17 8:24am
US tourist in Italy awed by Papal bathroom: 'Holy shit!' 0
Renrag 23.02.17 5:45am
Last words to jihadi: "Don't fiddle with that" 0
sydalg 23.02.17 3:15am
Fiddler given £1m "after heartrending rendition of 'If I Were a Rich Man'" 0
sydalg 23.02.17 3:09am
BBC.....Baby Boomers Comedy.

Barry Cryer to help launch new government 'YTS' comedy course for the over 60s.., that's the..'Your Too Senile'.. for comedy...

ron cawleyoni 22.02.17 10:42pm
ron cawleyoni
Trappist-1 sets an other-world record 0
Sinnick 22.02.17 10:28pm
Fiddler had £1 million pound in tax free isis account. 0
ron cawleyoni 22.02.17 10:26pm
ron cawleyoni
Bull run on Wall St. 0
Maverick 22.02.17 10:25pm
Nasa discovers Earth-like planet Donald Trump is on 1
Adrian Bamforth 22.02.17 10:11pm
David Bowie wins Deathtime Achievment Award at the Brits.

More good career moves soon...

MADJEZ 22.02.17 10:09pm
Trump writes cold war spy thriller titled..'Melania in Entrapment'..True story.

Plus a follow up called..'The Oppressa File'another True story...

ron cawleyoni 22.02.17 10:02pm
ron cawleyoni
Who ate to one all the pies. 1
MADJEZ 22.02.17 9:49pm
ron cawleyoni
Wardrobe malfunction at Brit Awards.

Reports coming in of 'Wardrobe Malfunction' in one of the star's dressing room., apparently..a hinge..has come loose on one of the doors, causing panic and pandemonium, as the mirror on the door...

ron cawleyoni 22.02.17 9:41pm
ron cawleyoni
Farage proves reasonable people are fascists

In an eloquent speech today, marred only by the occasional chant of 'fuck off Farage, you twat', the former leader of UKIP explained why reasonable people are actually fascists. "Listen to them....

throngsman 22.02.17 9:30pm
Simple Simon arrested at Betfair 1
Underconstruction 22.02.17 9:00pm
ron cawleyoni
Putin, Mugabe launch Donald Trump Admiration Society

Membership to be 'highly exclusive'...

Renrag 22.02.17 8:31pm
'Possibility of excellent beer' on Trappist-1 exoplanets 0
cinquecento 22.02.17 7:56pm
Pineapple Wars.

Republic of Del Monte to declare war on Iceland.warns Asda Tesco Morrison et al you are, next!...

ron cawleyoni 22.02.17 7:20pm
ron cawleyoni