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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Both Tories & Labour Deny That Proposed NHS Cuts Will Leave Nothing To Privatise

More confused allegations and denials about our Notional Health Service later ...

1
Titus 26.08.16 7:26pm
Al OPecia
Commuters 'furious' at the preferential treatment shown to Jeremy Corbyn

Commuters on the Kings Cross to York line were said to be ‘furious’ at the preferential treatment shown by Virgin Trains to Jeremy Corbyn yesterday. “I’ve had to sit on the floor numerous...

0
baron la croix 26.08.16 7:11pm
baron la croix
British towns come of age with triple-barrelled names

Cities, towns and even small villages across the UK have joined in a new craze of giving themselves updated triple-barrelled names of the kind enjoyed by Kingston-upon-Thames or even more. Among the...

20
Oxbridge 26.08.16 6:55pm
Sinnick
'Burkinis' fine if tight-fitting and made of rubber... 0
Loundshay 26.08.16 6:54pm
Loundshay
Reading Festival a Massive Disappointment, complain Librarians 4
Jodster 26.08.16 6:52pm
Sinnick
Britain Considers Banning The Burberrykini, Just To Keep Up With The French

Hat tip to Squudge...

0
Titus 26.08.16 5:57pm
Titus
Pressure mounts for Porcini to be banned from French beaches

There are calls today for a deeply threatening and inappropriate garb dubbed the Porcini (more impolitely the Cuntkini) to be banned from beaches and other places frequented by tourists after a...

0
Squudge 26.08.16 5:44pm
Squudge
Corbyn: "I told you you'd better not check the CCTV, Branson" 0
Sinnick 26.08.16 5:40pm
Sinnick
National Health Service to be rebranded National Half Service

Plans for a radical rebrand of the National Health Service make genocide look like Jaffa cakes, it has emerged. Leaked confidential papers drawn up by the Secretary for Sickness, Jeremy Hunt, show...

0
Jodster 26.08.16 4:02pm
Jodster
Virgin boss unseated by Corbyn Curse. Owen Smith gone into hiding... 0
silly billy scotland 26.08.16 2:40pm
silly billy scotland
Virgin boss unseated by Corbyn Curse. Owen Smith gone into hiding... 0
silly billy scotland 26.08.16 2:39pm
silly billy scotland
Untidy cupboard under your kitchen sink looking forward to relaxing Bank Holiday

Your untidied cupboard under the kitchen sink will enjoy yet another relaxing extended weekend chilling in its own cluttered mess, it has confirmed. The news comes despite it being priority number 1,...

0
chrisf 26.08.16 1:08pm
chrisf
Tommy Cooper exhibition at London Museum. Victoria. Albert. Albert. Victoria. 0
dominic_mcg 26.08.16 12:51pm
dominic_mcg
Owen Smith fails to find seat at Corbyn rally

Leaked video footage shows the Labour contender trying to squeeze through a throng of Corbynistas at a recent leadership event, only for Mr. Smith to produce a fake disability badge and ungraciously...

1
Wrenfoe 26.08.16 10:24am
chrisf
Daesh pissed off at inability to claim responsibility for Italian earthquake 1
sockpuppet 26.08.16 9:34am
silly billy scotland
NHS Crisis: ‘Not enough sutures for planned cuts’ 0
silly billy scotland 26.08.16 9:23am
silly billy scotland
‘iPhones Hacked with One Tap.’ Polish plumbers seek to cash in. 0
silly billy scotland 26.08.16 9:22am
silly billy scotland
Proxima-B identical to earth ‘except for one kind of liquorice allsorts.'

Scientists investigating planets that might be similar to ours have discovered a planet almost identical to planet earth, named Proxima-B. ‘Initially, atsronomers were trying to identify planets...

4
nickb 25.08.16 7:51pm
Iscariot
War between Fruit and Veg escalates as Brussels attack Apple. 2
Jodster 25.08.16 6:27pm
baron la croix
PROXIMA CENTAURI ABANDONS PLANS TO COLONISE EARTH!

"Apart from 'NewsBiscuit' and 'Mrs Brown's Boys', there is no evidence of intelligent life."...

1
silly billy scotland 25.08.16 6:19pm
satire1
Trump: 'I'm not a Bigot. Bigotory is a crime. And crime is for Mexicans' 0
silly billy scotland 25.08.16 6:18pm
silly billy scotland
Daily Mail says 'GCSEs should be made easier' as fewer get good grades 0
sockpuppet 25.08.16 5:51pm
sockpuppet
Corbyn launches new pastime for saddos - trainsquatting. 1
sockpuppet 25.08.16 5:08pm
Underconstruction
Dead man "was a bit of a shit" claims brother

The brother of a dead man has made the shock claim that he "was a right nob actually", after reading his obituary in the paper. John Rushern, 43, of Greater Manchester, was moved to make the claims...

3
andyiong 25.08.16 4:19pm
chrisf
2016 GCSE results show a 6.3% increase in meaningless statistics

The results of this year’s GCSE examinations have been published today, along with a substantial growth in the amount of irrelevant analysis about them. The volume of pointless statistics is up...

0
Midfield Diamond 25.08.16 4:13pm
Midfield Diamond
Over-eager musicians tell Scouser his ex still loves him, yeah yeah yeah

Sean Marshall, a 24-year-old apprentice bricklayer from Liverpool, was highly embarrassed earlier today when four casual acquaintances from a local band accosted him on the street and repeatedly told...

0
Oxbridge 25.08.16 4:05pm
Oxbridge
Spiders on trial over soaring fly population 0
Jodster 25.08.16 3:20pm
Jodster
Trump Pence signs missing hyphen causes stink 0
Thundi 25.08.16 12:59pm
Thundi
Farage urges Mississippi to leave the USA

More independent states soon...

0
Tammy Flugh 25.08.16 12:37pm
Tammy Flugh
Horny Ex-President Brands Burkinis ‘Provocative’ 0
Jodster 25.08.16 12:34pm
Jodster