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RSPCA warns: numbers of Manx cats tailing off 1
jimmydodger 16 minutes
Tasers for All British Policemen Dismissed As A Shocking Idea 1
Titus 17 minutes

Alternative: "Tasers For All Police: A Stunning Idea, Or Shocking?"...

Village idiots to form political party 1
deceangli 1 hour

‘We see 2015 as a unique opportunity’, said a spokesman. ‘We really can’t be any thicker or more unpopular than the usual candidates’. Stigmatised for their low intelligence, often the...

Tasers required for policing by consent insist Police Federation. 0
Ref Minor 4 hours
Goodluck Jonathan takes on Toughshit Muhammadu in Nigerian elections 3
Landfill 5 hours

More coverage from Pottymouth Paxman later…...

Indian Government launches new movie to tackle Sikh extremists - The Turbanhater 0
custard cream 5 hours
UK's 63 million porn-watching losers agree 'Boris is a power-obsessed wanker'. 0
Crayon 18 hours
Bad smell at Tesco: first the accounts and now it's the fruit squash... 0
deskpilot3 18 hours
Greek Government Recruits Former TESCO Accountants 3
Titus 18 hours
Kim Sears’ Scottishness training coming along ‘very f**king nicely’ 1
harrypalmer 18 hours

Kim Sears attempts to become more Scottish ahead of her marriage to Andy Murray appear to be well on track. Following her expletive laden attack on Thomas Berdych in the Australian Open semi-final...

Gwyneth Paltrow in genital hygiene mix-up "I was supposed to steam my veg" 0
EliK 21 hours
Repentant Putin issues "glowing tribute" to Litvinenko 5
sydalg 22 hours
Boris Says No More Bazookas to Page Three 0
Rowan van den Berg 23 hours

Boris Johnson has put The Sun newspaper in the greatest predicament in the newspaper's 50 year history. He has broken the stunning news that, following his extensive research, it turns out that...

After threats to out him, Brian Blessed pulls out of King Lear. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 23 hours
Ginola's FIFA candidacy falls at first hurdle; booked for diving 0
Gary Baldy 1 day
Holy name-calling war escalates; Boris accused of being a 'straw-haired buffoon' 0
Midfield Diamond 1 day
WAGs flock to Saudi Arabia for extra lashes 0
MikeF 1 day

Some are hoping to get stoned while they're there...

Caliphate to Chop the 'Heads' Off Porn Watchers 0
Dun Dunkin 1 day
Watching Porn to become Terrorist Offence 0
Dun Dunkin 1 day
Yew Tree House Raid on Non BBC Employee Celebrated 0
Rowan van den Berg 1 day

BBC News has been shortlisted for a Royal Television Society Award for their exuberant coverage of the 'Operation Yew Tree' raid on the home of Sir Cliff Richard, someone who was not a BBC employee....

Brian Blessed's wife says "Well, at least Gordon's alive" 0
MikeF 1 day

Cruel and premature but...

Michelin starred restaurant announces: No talking – social media only 0
jonessgl 1 day

A London-based fine dining restaurant has been the first to place a ban on real conversation. Feedback from waiting staff revealed that the majority of customers would rather do anything but talk...

Ukip to back plain cigarette packaging to leave more space for their manifesto 1
harrypalmer 1 day
Billions of innocent p0rn watchers silently fuming at Boris’ assertions 0
Iroquois Pliskin 1 day
Man attempts suicide after unsuccessful Facebook post 1
Bunbury 1 day

A 39-year-old stationer, Mark Hannigan, attempted to take his own life after a witticism he posted on Facebook received only one like. His post, which consisted of a picture of him eating a block of...

7/7 victims grateful that the Mayor of London has finally explained jihadism 0
beckfordburger 1 day
Boris Johnson: jihadis are porn-watching 'wankers' 0
Dun Dunkin 1 day

They will fit right in with the 5 pedo rings at westminster then...

Dawkins converts to Islam after stubbing big toe 0
jonessgl 1 day
Increased security in Saudi stores leaves shoplifters stumped 3
sydalg 1 day
Death row prisoner forbidden to post photo of last meal 0
jonessgl 1 day