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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Blanket ban for Russian smoke-signalling team 2
cinquecento 25.07.16 6:02pm
Iroquois Pliskin
Labour Promises To 'Send The Boys Round To Sort Out' Anyone Who Issues Threats

More comradely dialogue soon ...

Titus 25.07.16 5:28pm
Russia calls for drinking vodka to be an Olympic event

The first male to insert his penis into a potato will be the next ‘dictator’, said state–controlled media outlet Pravda, which is Russian for ‘The Truth’. Nothing to do with The Sun...

farmer giles 25.07.16 5:17pm
farmer giles
Syrian refugee suicide bomber to be deported "in installments"

More to follow...

apepper 25.07.16 5:06pm
Green awarded "Hero of Capitalism First Class only Class that matters Medal" 0
Al OPecia 25.07.16 4:38pm
Al OPecia
Nice terrorist kills 84

Can someone make this work, please? ...

Opinion Poll 25.07.16 3:20pm
Philip Green's face 'the unacceptable face of capitalism'

In the wake of the BHS pensions scandal Philip Green's face has come in for extreme criticism, as top physiognomists studying his facial features have claimed that it was always clear that he was a...

andyiong 25.07.16 2:17pm
Shot guest at Swinger party did not like double penetration 0
marlon bando 25.07.16 1:48pm
marlon bando
Hilary Clinton chooses Michael Caine as running mate. 1
MADJEZ 25.07.16 1:32pm
marlon bando
Scantily clad supermodels head to Scotland after Lynx released into the wild. 3
dominic_mcg 25.07.16 1:30pm
marlon bando
After machete attack Kebab shop in Germany says there are two new openings 0
marlon bando 25.07.16 1:29pm
marlon bando
Dover queues ideal time for summer read of chilcott report 1
Dun Dunkin 25.07.16 1:25pm
Iroquois Pliskin
Philip Green first public figure to be recognised for a Shitehood 1
ronseal 25.07.16 1:24pm
Iroquois Pliskin
Police letting Nice terrorist through the blockade takes the Biscuit 0
marlon bando 25.07.16 1:21pm
marlon bando
Poundland refusing to issue refund for BHS 0
cinquecento 25.07.16 12:47pm
Phillip Green to be stripped of chest hair, mullet.

A Commons select committee will decide whether former British Home Stores boss Phillip Green should be stripped of his trademark chest hair and mullet. It’s the first time a judicial ruling on a...

nickb 25.07.16 12:41pm
English FA Admit to Long-term Usage of Performance-Inhibiting Drugs

"Don't look at the team and brand them failures : these guys are selfless guinea-pigs in the fore-front of medical research, bettering mankind's pharmaceutical understanding" Hot on the heels of the...

FlashArry 25.07.16 12:12pm
Al OPecia
Dismay as IKEA exit turns out to be much more difficult than anticipated 5
Sir Lupus 25.07.16 11:14am
New ITV Detective Drama hero will clean up streets, hard drive

The world of TV Detective shows looks set for a new hero, with the release of ITV’s prime-time Autumn schedules today. A major new fictional drama will follow the trials and tribulations of a...

chrisf 25.07.16 11:03am
Cricket team renamed "Stan" now that "Paki" is politically incorrect. 1
Maverick 25.07.16 10:20am
'Boycie' Green Sold BHS To 'Del Boy' Chappell Says Report 0
Titus 25.07.16 7:11am
Lawyers reveal the group to most benefit from Brexit: Lawyers

Lawyers nationwide are celebrating after the part of the public that hate them the most unanimously voted for a decades long subsidy of the legal industry until all practitioners can shit gold. ...

Benvoleo 24.07.16 10:58pm
Philip Green 'Should Have Done The Honest Thing And Sold BHS On Ebay'

Or maybe 'Dominic Chappell Leaves Negative Feedback On Philip Green's Website After Paying Too Much For BHS' ...

Titus 24.07.16 10:18pm
Summer holidays start with traditional queue to get out the country 3
Dun Dunkin 24.07.16 9:38pm
Nation celebrates Froome's Tour de France win. That nation being Kenya.

Baddum tisch. Chris Froome 'I don't understand why Bradley Wiggins is more popular than me with the British public' er cos he's British...

MADJEZ 24.07.16 9:05pm
Russian Athletes To Keep Their Comfort Blankets After Blanket Ban Avoided 0
Titus 24.07.16 7:18pm
Eurasian lynx to be reintroduced to Chevening

PM also instructs broadcasters to host an It's A Knockout competition in the stately grounds...

Landfill 24.07.16 6:58pm
Something about climate change. And a terrorist attack.

And a girl with big tits. Another day's news...

Maverick 24.07.16 6:06pm
Celebrity MasterChef competitors to be eliminated by firing squad

Cooking really doesn’t get tougher than this! In a move to make the programme more competitive, Celebrity MasterChef contestants will now be eliminated from the competition by firing squad. As the...

Jodster 24.07.16 4:30pm
Terrorist 'significantly' fined for damage to hire vehicle 0
Underconstruction 24.07.16 4:12pm