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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Jesus “not Roman Catholic” says Virgin Mary. More soon. 0
Daily Express 24.06.18 7:44pm
Daily Express
Melania Trump "Fantastic in bed" says Putin. More soon. 0
Arthur 24.06.18 7:08pm
Arthur
Red Traffic Light Seeks Agenda Re-Assignment To Live Life As A Speed Camera

"Why me?" says Red. "Why do I get to be the traffic light that everybody hates and curses? Why am I always associated with risk and dangerand just about everything with a negative connotation?"...

3
Macattack1964 24.06.18 7:04pm
Macattack1964
First Saudi woman ever to drive can't find car keys

The ceremony at which the first Saudi woman in history was to drive a car has been delayed because she couldn't find the keys. After going through her handbag several times and finally tipping its...

0
YaBasta 24.06.18 6:40pm
YaBasta
Trainspotter who was hit by the Flying Scotsman was "chuffed to bits". 1
dominic_mcg 24.06.18 6:29pm
Al OPecia
Harry Kane's Panama. 0
ron cawleyoni 24.06.18 5:49pm
ron cawleyoni
New Google penis to operate without owner control

The tech giant has been criticised for the latest intrusion into people's private lives with the "self-driving" male organ which makes decisions using complex algorithms based on its owner's browsing...

1
sydalg 24.06.18 5:15pm
Name and Address Withheld by Request
Documents show that great-grandma fed five generations with no meat thermometer. 0
Jamie Oliver 24.06.18 4:45pm
Jamie Oliver
Jesus detained by immigration after accidentally jogging across Channel 0
sydalg 24.06.18 4:41pm
sydalg
Australian cricketers "grateful they didn't have to face Scotland"

The Australian captain, Tim Paine, has admitted the 5-0 whitewash by England was difficult but went on to say "At least we didn't have to face Scotland"...

0
apepper 24.06.18 4:38pm
apepper
Harry Kane Panama Hat-trick Best Cliche of World Cup so far? 2
granger 24.06.18 2:49pm
granger
Pound Land votes to leave Pound World in Pexit

More to follow...

0
apepper 24.06.18 2:41pm
apepper
Trump introduces segregation for non-Trump supporters.

President Donald Trump has signed an Executive order to formally introduce segregation of facilities for non-Trump supporters, including separate restaurants, schools, hotels, bars, hospitals,...

1
Al OPecia 24.06.18 2:40pm
Sinnick
Historic Panama win makes up for historic Suez loss. 0
cinquecento 24.06.18 2:32pm
cinquecento
Panama Panned...as England go for Gold. 0
ron cawleyoni 24.06.18 1:42pm
ron cawleyoni
'Angry swan actually did break my arm' claims Reading man

Doubt has been cast today over the adage about swans being able to break a man’s arm with their wings only being a myth. Because speaking from his hospital bed, retired plumber Alf Bassett from...

2
Chipchase 24.06.18 11:53am
Chipchase
Brexit food shortages will solve obesity crisis it was revealed today. 0
Mick Turate 24.06.18 10:27am
Mick Turate
'Reducing childhood obesity risks goalie shortage', PE teachers warn 2
cinquecento 24.06.18 10:25am
dominic_mcg
Poor communities lack drive, says Ofsted. Whatever, say poor communities. 1
dominic_mcg 24.06.18 10:20am
Al OPecia
Swiss footballers say "2 headed eagle" celebration was actually a cuckoo clock. 0
dominic_mcg 24.06.18 9:26am
dominic_mcg
Airfix Offers Theresa May Option Of A Cheaper Defence Budget

Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson, has demanded £20 billion or else he will bring Theresa May down. That is almost the equivalent of what Manchester City have paid for their defence so the Prime...

0
Macattack1964 24.06.18 9:14am
Macattack1964
To curb obesity levels, sugary snacks to be sold only at the tops of mountains. 0
dominic_mcg 24.06.18 9:12am
dominic_mcg
Ed Sheeran Duets With Loo Loo: Visiting The Toilet Twice During A Gig 0
Macattack1964 24.06.18 8:29am
Macattack1964
Pedantic Scientist: A Round Of Toast Is Not A Geometrically Correct Expression 0
Macattack1964 24.06.18 8:22am
Macattack1964
Saudi Ban On Women Drivers Ends: Audi Have Just Started Theirs 0
Macattack1964 24.06.18 8:20am
Macattack1964
Colonel Sanders Kicks Sarah Sanders Out Of His Restaurant 0
Macattack1964 24.06.18 8:18am
Macattack1964
'Don't mention the score' as Germans win...Injerry time. 1
ron cawleyoni 24.06.18 8:16am
Sinnick
McDonalds tell Theresa May..Your not welcome here..either. 0
ron cawleyoni 24.06.18 8:12am
ron cawleyoni
Dr Jane Barton offers to eliminate NHS waiting lists 0
sydalg 24.06.18 1:37am
sydalg
Coleridge interrupted writing Kubla Khan by "person from Gosport" 0
sydalg 23.06.18 10:15pm
sydalg