Topic — Add New » Comments Votes Author Last Comment
Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Paralympics : Your questions answered

As the Rio Paralympics are all set to start, your questions answered - [i]Q: When watching the olympics I liked to swear profusely at athletes as they race : is there a list of socially acceptable...

FlashArry 30.08.16 8:43pm
Oompa Loompas speak out about abuse at hands or 'cruel confectioner'

Diminutive factory workers for the Wonka confectionary brand have spoken out about dangerous working conditions and cruel treatment at the hands of Willy Wonka in the wake of the sweet maker's death....

Adrian Bamforth 30.08.16 8:38pm
Adrian Bamforth
Cameron pays pig £8.4m in 'hush money'

The UK's outgoing Prime Minister is accused of authorising millions of pounds in severance for special advisors and a collection of 'saucy livestock'. Accounts reveal pay-rises of up to 24% were...

Wrenfoe 30.08.16 8:37pm
Apple blames €13bn tax shortfall on iOS 9 bug

Apple, the world’s largest information technology company, has blamed an alleged €13bn tax shortfall on a bug in its latest operating system. After a 3 year investigation, the European Commission...

jonessgl 30.08.16 7:46pm
Wonka kids pay tribute to Gene Wilder: "He never touched me in my special place" 0
thackaray 30.08.16 7:09pm
Southern Rail to "re-introduce 119 rare trains" back into the wild 0
thackaray 30.08.16 7:06pm
Road Rage video shows man "failing" to take opportunity to knock out Jeremy Vine 0
thackaray 30.08.16 6:42pm
Reading Festival a Massive Disappointment, complain Librarians 9
Jodster 30.08.16 5:38pm
farmer giles
TV audiences ‘want more cunt jokes’ says BBC

With gags about ‘clitoris allsorts’, ‘Vulva estate cars’ and Grace Brothers asking for more ‘female ejaculations during staff meetings,’ the new series of Are You Being Served shows...

nickb 30.08.16 5:30pm
Spanking more effective than suppositories

New research suggests that constipation is better treated with spanking than suppositories. A case study of the Isle of Wight village of Whippingham, so called because of its celebrated spanking...

Jodster 30.08.16 5:29pm
Nepal ban Indian climbers who claim to have set up corner shop on Everest

The Nepalese authorities have banned two Indian climbers who claim to have climbed Everest and set up a shop. "The photos are obviously fake," said one expert, who added that the other postcards...

throngsman 30.08.16 5:19pm
Rooney to lead England football team to further defeat until at least 2018.

More useless leadership to follow...

MADJEZ 30.08.16 5:11pm
Newsbiscuit to be re-branded as Torybiscuit or Titusbiscuit.

Too many tired old anti-Labour/anti-Corbyn slurs.I'm happy to read a range of contributions but feel that previous originality has deteriorated into too much partisan propaganda. Don't expect...

paulo 30.08.16 4:35pm
Adrian Bamforth
Police officer tattoos face with the words, 'Hallo, Hallo, what 'ave we 'ere?' 0
Loundshay 30.08.16 4:28pm
Worrying about your tax bill? Follow NewsBiscuit on Facebook and Twitter instead 0
Loundshay 30.08.16 4:25pm
Rise in foot amputations caused by Labour's shooting aim. 0
JETFAB 30.08.16 4:22pm
Man vaguely remembers bloke called Dave who used to run the country.

The internet was set alight last night, as a clip of an old man recalling events from an earlier era on YouTube went viral and received over a million hits. During the ten minutes clip the man...

andyiong 30.08.16 2:38pm
Carnival Atmosphere at Europe's Largest Street Party

4 stabbings, 43 police officers injured, 90 offensive weapons seized, 454 arrests, 1000+ people requiring first aid. All together now: 'Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner, that I love'...

satire1 30.08.16 1:59pm
"But we tip really well" says Tim Cook of Apple 0
rogerg 30.08.16 1:40pm
X Factor: Judges’ comments 'must comply with principles of rhetoric' says Cowell

Simon Cowell has announced a crackdown on poorly constructed judges’ comments on X Factor, after revealing that he has sought the advice of classical Greek philosophers Plato and Aristotle to turn...

chrisf 30.08.16 1:35pm
Kim Kardashian ‘asset stripped’ by tight-arsed billionaire 0
farmer giles 30.08.16 1:22pm
farmer giles
‘All fathers are motherf*ckers’ says motherf*cking mummy’s boy 0
farmer giles 30.08.16 1:21pm
farmer giles
Mo Farrah demands knighthood 'to avoid queuing at airports '. A nation responds:

'If that wee, skinny, jumped-up Somalian shitebag tries to jump the queue at Glasgow Airport, he'll be competing in the Paralympics. He can go take a running f'...

silly billy scotland 30.08.16 1:17pm
silly billy scotland
Mark Chapman Denied Parole for Crime Against Humanity

'You fired 6 bullets, and not one of them hit Yoko. That's completely beyond redemption'...

silly billy scotland 30.08.16 12:31pm
silly billy scotland
Charlie enacts swingeing cuts as control of Wonka Factory moves to him

On news of the sad death of Willy Wonka, Charlie Bucket, now CEO of Wonka industries, announced huge and wide ranging cuts to the off-the-wall company. At 0900 this morning he gave this statement,...

SimonJJames 30.08.16 11:46am
Chocolate billionaire, Charlie Bucket, changes his name to 'Bouquet' 0
silly billy scotland 30.08.16 11:46am
silly billy scotland
Police officers with facial tattoos to wear burkhas whilst on duty. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 30.08.16 11:35am
silly billy scotland
Adam, Eve and the Snake all appeal Apple ruling

More later but contributions on this theme welcome...

Sir Lupus 30.08.16 11:33am
Microsoft claims Macintosh is also a bad Apple 0
satire1 30.08.16 11:33am
Nottingham man enraged by his new shirts

Nottingham man enraged by his new shirts “They don’t do this with any other garment,“ raged irate Nick Warren of Nottingham. “I needed some new shirts and bought three for the price of two...

Nick Warren 30.08.16 11:13am
Sir Lupus