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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Boris denies lying to the press 'as they clearly weren't there'

Prime Minister Boris Johnson has attacked the BBC and members of the British press who suggested he was lying to a man who complained about the state of NHS funding when the Prime Minister was...

7
throngsman 19.09.19 3:15pm
Terry Bunn
After Brexit, all NB Five Star Allocations Will Be Taxed 20% VAT. (BoJo) 0
umfuli 19.09.19 2:43pm
umfuli
History of 1960s to be rewritten after it's revealed "all LSD was placebo"

Septuagenarian ex-hippies are in shock today at the news that all their Sixties psychedelic experiences were the imaginary results of sugar pills and squares of lemonade-soaked blotting paper. Newly...

4
sydalg 19.09.19 2:10pm
Chipchase
Labour Activist condemns NHS for having to wait 2 days on Trolley to abuse PM 0
thackaray 19.09.19 1:46pm
thackaray
Bonsai Tree entrepreneur so successful he's moving to smaller premises. 0
NotNowCato 19.09.19 1:32pm
NotNowCato
Cameron proves he's "still got it"

Former Prime Minister, David Cameron, has demonstrated his uncanny knack of cocking things up by causing the Queen "displeasure" about revelations on the Scottish referendum. One Cameron fan wiped...

0
apepper 19.09.19 1:02pm
apepper
Employers warned to request proof of qualifications

The Head of one of the oldest and most heavily subscribed university in the UK today warned employers, would be romantic partners and the public in general, about people who falsely claim to have...

4
tonymc81 19.09.19 12:24pm
Crayon
Princess just aping her royal ancestors says expert

Fears are growing at Buckingham Palace today that pretty little Princess Charlotte, despite the immense wealth of her parents and her angelic toothless smile, may in fact be a budding criminal.,...

0
tonymc81 19.09.19 12:22pm
tonymc81
Boris Johnson's arms amputated after he rolled up his own shirt sleeves 0
Crayon 19.09.19 12:20pm
Crayon
Uproar as ‘International Talk Like a Pirate Day’ is snubbed by Cornwall

Pirates from all around the world have united in protest against Cornwall after their residents chose to speak properly, for one day only, on International Talk Like a Pirate Day. The 19th of...

0
Midfield Diamond 19.09.19 12:17pm
Midfield Diamond
Who turned the heat off Foster

A full scale search operation was underway in Northern Ireland last night involving Mountain rescue teams, deep sea divers and sniffer dogs as fears grew for the safety of the Renewable Heat...

0
tonymc81 19.09.19 12:12pm
tonymc81
NewsBiscuit subs so good yours won't get a look-in? Write for NewsB...oh bugger! 0
Benvoleo 19.09.19 11:57am
Benvoleo
Brave PM left ‘shaken’ by inadvertently meeting member of the public

Questions have been asked about the security measures surrounding Boris Johnsons, given that twice now the PM has been forced to talk to someone not from Eton. Shocking scenes show Mr. Johnson being...

0
Wrenfoe 19.09.19 11:39am
Wrenfoe
Government to insist on its fag packet back

After providing the EU with outline plans for replacing the Irish backstop, officials have insisted that their planning document be returned 'once we have fluffed it out onto the back of a cereal box...

1
throngsman 19.09.19 11:36am
deceangli
Johnson sends Baldrick to Brussels with a turnip in final throw of the dice.

More soon. Hat tip to Chipchase...

0
Al OPecia 19.09.19 10:39am
Al OPecia
John Humphrys relieved at never having to giggle through a science story again.

No more soon...

4
Al OPecia 19.09.19 10:31am
Al OPecia
‘Blackface’ or not to ‘blackface’? Hmmmm, tough one.

Some are calling it the moral dilemma of 2019, while others are saying: ‘Didn’t we sort out this $hit out in 1919???’. Either way, modern politicians seem torn between disavowing their racist...

1
Wrenfoe 19.09.19 10:16am
Sir Lupus
Boris adopts Baldrick defence: 'Deny everything'

Downing Street has sent out a communication to newspaper and media outlets today, demanding that in future all journalists and reporters invited to photo-opportunities are to dress up as car assembly...

1
Chipchase 19.09.19 10:13am
Sir Lupus
Major demoted to private 0
Max Stars 19.09.19 9:59am
Max Stars
Cameron, Blair & Dame Edna join Humphrys to give evidence at Supreme Court 0
Benvoleo 19.09.19 9:55am
Benvoleo
At the Supreme Court with nothing to do? Write for Newsbiscuit instead

asdfjawoerh...

0
Max Stars 19.09.19 9:53am
Max Stars
Struggling to get your Brexit ideas down on paper? write for NewsBiscuit instead 0
Sir Lupus 19.09.19 9:04am
Sir Lupus
Supreme Court: government case "to last until Queens Speech or 31st October"

Beginning the presentation of its case on day two of proceedings, the government has announced it intends to call 157 expert witnesses to testify before the Supreme Court. These include Prime...

1
Sir Lupus 19.09.19 9:02am
Sir Lupus
Trump to build a wall along Canadian border.. keep Trudeau out. 0
ron cawleyoni 19.09.19 8:36am
ron cawleyoni
Home Office agrees to add only 'one more fraud case' to official stats

Following the revelation that the police have been routinely failing to list fifty thousand identity theft fraud cases as crimes, the Home Office has admitted that technically the failure amounted to...

1
throngsman 19.09.19 8:12am
deceangli
Boris Johnson tells Finnish PM the dog ate my proposals 0
Ian Searle 19.09.19 8:05am
Ian Searle
'Boris election bribes now mean no decent backhander for DUP' says angry Foster

A group of Middle Ages enthusiasts laughingly claiming to be a political party, is believed to be getting increasingly more concerned over the size of bribe they can expect to be offered by Boris...

3
Chipchase 19.09.19 7:47am
Chipchase
DUP demands any deal with EU must uphold the Orange supremacy 0
tonymc81 19.09.19 6:21am
tonymc81
I don't regret Brown face photo says PM, how else could I look like a Darkie 0
tonymc81 19.09.19 5:40am
tonymc81
CBeebies breaks down Brexit & Prorogation for Supreme Court summing up 0
thackaray 19.09.19 3:46am
thackaray