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Osborne clinically dead at subatomic level 0
Tom Learmouth 1 hour

Scientists at the University of Manchester have concluded that George Osborne displays “no signs of life” in the quantum realm. They suggested that his resolute commitment to a long-term economic...

Greece asks Frau Merkel for Debt Relief with a Happy Ending 0
Ironduke 1 hour
Greek debt pile hits 1,000 Wimbledon strawberries. 0
Ironduke 1 hour
Rather a lot of fuss as Greece double faults at Wimbledon. 0
Ironduke 1 hour
Some people voted Conservative, get over it. #ToryPride 1
rlg123 1 hour

Some people voted Conservative, get over it. #ToryPride...

MFI deny responsibility for Greek cabinet collapsing. 1
PeterB 1 hour
Greece recruits Bob Geldof to lead bail-out negotiating team. 0
deskpilot3 1 hour

"Just give us the f***ing money"...

Waitrose launches Kauto Star lasagne 1
Mike Turbine-Hamilton 1 hour
We apologise for the delay. This is due to the wrong kind of train company 2
Not Amused 2 hours

Subs delayed until further notice...

Police conduct London's largest terror attack excercise at the Albert Hall 0
Basil_B 3 hours
Greece asks for new loan "because the old one worked out so well" 0
apepper 3 hours

More to follow...

Greek style bail out simulated on the streets of London 0
throngsman 4 hours

The Metropolitan police carried out a rehearsal of a Greek style bail out today. Three "Mediterranean looking" men took to the streets of London and withdrew "nearly forty quid between them" in an...

Leap Second: Women allowed to propose, just very quickly. 1
MADJEZ 5 hours
Calls For Tighter Gun Control In Tunisia 13
Titus 6 hours
Greece applies to Wonga for loan - 'Just until pay day' 0
rogerg 7 hours
Kebabs Are Made Out of Christians! 3
Dun Dunkin 7 hours
IS secretly supports Butlins 2
Wrenfoe 7 hours

By diverting their terror campaign towards international holiday resorts, the Islamic State has underlined their fundamentalist belief in ‘affordable camp sites’. Many have misconstrued the...

sms rip :-( 0
Sinnick 8 hours

Edited to be unoffensive - not my intention...

Kanye West hails musical genius of DJ 'BBC Subtitling Machine' 0
S J Roe 8 hours

Days after his polarising performance as headline act of music festival Glastonbury, Megastar rapper Kanye West has spoken about the deep admiration he has for the BBC Subtitling machine that...

James May appears at Glastonbury Festival after administrative error 0
Adrian Bamforth 8 hours

Former Top Gear presenter James May made an appearance at Glastonbury this weekend after being accidentally booked to perform on the Festival’s Pyramid Stage. Audiences hoping to see Brit...

London’s emergency services practise for Murray exit 2
Wrenfoe 8 hours

Intelligence officials have closed down sections of the UK’s capital, in order to stage a simulation of the terror conditions that will occur in the wake of the Wimbledon Champion ‘choking in the...

Greek bailout drags out for another second 0
Bagger 9 hours

The leap second which will make this the longest June for 3 years is set to give Greece more time to repay €1.6bn (£1.1bn) to the International Monetary Fund (IMF). The Greek Government was...

NRA calls for tighter controls on prayer 0
sydalg 9 hours
Boris Johnson reattaches stabilisers to bike after unsuccessful trial period 0
Tom Learmouth 10 hours
Greeks seek loan to purchase gift 0
wwwiz 10 hours
Disney bosses will turn Greece into theme park 0
Wrexfan 11 hours

International bankers have appointed executives from the Disney Corporation to run Greece., Disney spokesman Don Duk said his company plans to transform the nation's economic outlook by turning it...

Global warming fears worsen as Wimbledon fortnight set to be rain free. 0
Basil_B 11 hours
'Grexit is the word', sings Frankie Valli 1
throngsman 12 hours
British summertime to be 'most complained about' on record 2
SamSmith 14 hours

The recent and completely expected heat wave looks set to be the most whinged about since records began. The majority of the British population have experienced summer every year since they were...

Global economic markets to take a gap year 3
deceangli 14 hours

Global markets have announced today that they are ‘sick of being treated like a child’ and plan to ‘travel, develop greater self awareness, maybe learn the guitar’. Robert Peston, acting as...