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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Saudis 'Guilty, Until Jamal Khashoggi Comes Back To Life' 1
Titus 17.10.18 10:18am
umfuli
Saudi slammed as queues to be senselessly murdered lengthen outside embassies

If you want to be brutally murdered in the Saudi Embassy in Paris, you may have to wait seven hours. In Berlin, those who wish to be quietly and tragically assassinated in the Saudi Embassy there...

1
nickb 17.10.18 10:10am
umfuli
Owen Jones announced as next James Bond

Guardian columnist and militant flounce-moppet Owen Jones is set to unveiled as the new James Bond later today in a surprise move from the franchise. ‘It was something of a surprise for us too,’...

1
Skylarking 17.10.18 9:19am
cinquecento
Harry and Meghan have nits 0
Myke 17.10.18 9:11am
Myke
Concern as French vow to turn back UK dinghies and boats 0
Myke 17.10.18 9:09am
Myke
Mary Wanna sues Canadian government for nuisance sales calls 0
Myke 17.10.18 9:01am
Myke
May moves Brexit talks to Canada "it makes sense when you smoke a *lot* of pot"

More to follow...

0
apepper 17.10.18 8:55am
apepper
Cable failure affects Paddington. Bear slaps marmalade sandwich in his face. 0
Myke 17.10.18 8:55am
Myke
Owen Jones announced as next James Bond

Guardian columnist and militant flounce-moppet Owen Jones is set to unveiled as the new James Bond later today in a surprise move from the franchise. ‘It was something of a surprise for us too,’...

0
Skylarking 17.10.18 8:28am
Skylarking
Piers Morgan attacks Daniel Craig for preferring his martinis shaken not stirred 0
Mick Turate 17.10.18 8:20am
Mick Turate
Smoke Canada Dry. 0
ron cawleyoni 17.10.18 7:20am
ron cawleyoni
EuroTV announces a new series called "Ile Cannibale".

A new television series is to be launched next month by a pan European TV Network featuring an imaginary island. The series is anticipated to be aired over a period of three years. Unlike previous...

5
umfuli 17.10.18 6:44am
Gerontius
Royal foetus declared loveliest foetus by press

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex's unborn baby has been universally hailed by they world's press as a 'gestation-stage royal fit for the modern age'. The prenatal organism has been particularly...

5
Adrian Bamforth 17.10.18 6:41am
Gerontius
'Tolerance will be our credo post-Brexit' say DUP

As concerns grow across Northern Ireland's immigrant communities over what a post-Brexit landscape might look like, the DUP has said today that it's completely open to adopting any philosophical,...

0
Chipchase 17.10.18 6:16am
Chipchase
Hey Man ... Calls For UK To, Like, Adopt Canada Model After Brexit

Far out (from the EU) later, man ...

0
Titus 17.10.18 5:19am
Titus
Chinese Lifespan Increases As Fewer Become Journalists Or Visit Saudi Embassies 0
Titus 17.10.18 4:32am
Titus
Pippa Middleton gives birth to baby boy. Baby and mother's arse both well. 1
dominic_mcg 16.10.18 11:34pm
Crayon
. 0
Skylarking 16.10.18 7:14pm
Skylarking
Bercow invokes ten-year, floating retirement backstop 0
Guido Drapatolli 16.10.18 6:03pm
Guido Drapatolli
Bench-press babies or you're a faggot, men told 0
Benvoleo 16.10.18 6:01pm
Benvoleo
Microsoft's Paul Allen gets blue screen. 1
JETFAB 16.10.18 4:22pm
Titus
Piers Morgan sits down to pee. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 16.10.18 3:32pm
deceangli
PG Wodehouse to sue Rees-Mogg for plagiarism 2
deceangli 16.10.18 3:25pm
Chipchase
Calls For Death Penalty For Passengers Who Don't Move Across On Double Seats

or at least charge them double fare, for all their bloody bags and baggages ...

0
Titus 16.10.18 2:51pm
Titus
Snowflakes Say 'Naughty People Who Call Us Unkind Things Need An F Good Kicking' 0
Titus 16.10.18 2:46pm
Titus
Melania clarifies: she did care about "I don't care" jacket so wasn't lying

Melanie Trump has clarified that she did deliberately choose to wear a jacket saying "I don't care" on an official engagement earlier this year, and therefore it was true that she didn't care and not...

6
Sir Lupus 16.10.18 2:12pm
Chipchase
Peter Principle to be renamed 'The Theresa Principle'

TBH, this joke could be re-used weekly, across a wide swathe of politicians...

0
deceangli 16.10.18 1:14pm
deceangli
"It hurts our feelings when you use bags from other shops," till staff say

Supermarket checkout workers have urged shoppers to stop using bags for life from other stores as they find it too upsetting. Over the past few years, customers have been urged to reuse plastic bags...

0
Gavin Beans 16.10.18 12:50pm
Gavin Beans
Windrush generation prevented from winning Blue Peter badges. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 16.10.18 12:47pm
dominic_mcg
Getting answers from Saudis ‘like pulling teeth’ says UN 0
Myke 16.10.18 10:58am
Myke