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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
US citizens given a choice: nutcase or nutcase 0
farmer giles 31.07.16 1:48am
farmer giles
Anarchy “gone too far”, say ‘redundant’ anarchists

After recent political turmoil, anarchists are calling for calm to address concerns that they’ve become superfluous. “Without us lifting a finger the Party leaders are gone, the economy is in...

5
Benvoleo 31.07.16 1:12am
Gary Baldy
Australia to move closer to Britain following Brexit

(More-or-less TrueBiscuit) http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-36912700 'The Geocentric Datum of Australia, the country's local co-ordinate system, was last updated in 1994. Since then, Australia...

1
sockpuppet 30.07.16 10:48pm
FlashArry
Florida mosquitos found carrying Type 2 Diabetes virus

Zika mosquitos found in Florida have been found carrying a deadly strain of the Type 2 diabetes., The US Centre for Disease Control says the number of infected insects could be in the high millions...

4
Gerontius 30.07.16 10:37pm
FlashArry
Lloyds Bank rejected by Horses

As news breaks of yet more questionable moves from the Lloyds Banking Group, Horses everywhere are worried that their good reputation which they have worked so long and so hard to protect is being...

11
Jodster 30.07.16 10:24pm
FlashArry
No Jackett Required. 5
Ref Minor 30.07.16 6:19pm
Ref Minor
Prince inheritance determined by glass slipper test

A State judge has ruled that 29 separate claims to Prince's estate have not met basic fairytale plausibility; involving a combination of frog kissing and the removal of a sword from stone. All blood...

2
Wrenfoe 30.07.16 5:50pm
Jodster
British Biased Corporation unrepentant 1
Dun Dunkin 30.07.16 5:49pm
Jodster
Murderer forgets to swear allegiance to IS. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 30.07.16 4:43pm
dominic_mcg
Plastic bag manufacturers turn to prostitution. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 30.07.16 12:23pm
dominic_mcg
Plastic bag population now “at risk”...

The ‘common’ white plastic bag is now, officially, an endangered species. Barbara Flett, speaking on behalf of the RSPPB, warned against complacency. “Because we saw plastic bags everywhere, we...

2
Tripod 30.07.16 11:08am
sockpuppet
‘Several large potholes’ found in Rio Olympic velodrome cycling track

“This is wheely unacceptable” said a spokesperson “we just seem to be going round in circles with one disaster after another. After gearing up for this for four years we are now having to put...

2
farmer giles 30.07.16 11:03am
farmer giles
Heaven running out of virgins, God tells IS. More soon. 3
dominic_mcg 30.07.16 10:35am
Prime Mover
Pope leaves 3 star review for Auschwitz visit ("a bit of a downer")

More to follow...

8
apepper 30.07.16 10:09am
Opinion Poll
Scooby Doo team expose climate change tricksters

A two-man, two-woman, one-Great Dane team of young Americans has exposed the belief that the Earth’s climate is growing warmer as a result of man-made emissions of greenhouse gases, thus...

4
Oxbridge 30.07.16 10:01am
Al OPecia
Australian asks girlfriend 'Did the Earth move for you?'

More tectonic shifts soon...

1
Smart Alex 30.07.16 9:01am
sockpuppet
Mega Corp warns it may be forced to avoid all tax because of 'fears over Brexit' 0
ronseal 30.07.16 8:57am
ronseal
Planning permission for 'unsightly' wind farm at Hinkley Point rejected

More soon ...

0
Opinion Poll 30.07.16 7:10am
Opinion Poll
Hillary Clinton announces "a lorra lorra laffs" if she's elected president.

She will also see about sorting out Donald Trump with a blind date, which she will reveal with her trademark "Surprise surprise!" Donald Trump responds: "we-e-e-e-e-e-eelll she makes me wanna shout...

0
Prime Mover 29.07.16 9:50pm
Prime Mover
Scooby Doo to be re-named Scooby Does everywhere other than Norfolk 0
Underconstruction 29.07.16 9:00pm
Underconstruction
Hinkley Point to be fueled by presidental assassination attempts 0
Adrian Bamforth 29.07.16 8:40pm
Adrian Bamforth
Hordes of asylum seekers at Japanese embassy claim persecution, ball attacks

The Japanese asylum seekers claim to have been subjected to repeated incidents of persecution by individuals with smartphones as well as attacks and subsequent imprisonment in red and grey coloured...

0
dwolleba 29.07.16 8:13pm
dwolleba
Nothing as good as it used to be, says report

Everything is now shit and isn't half as good as it was before, everyone over the age of 30 has confirmed. 'It's a world gone mad" said builder, Darren Haines. 'When I was young, packets of football...

5
thatwasbeast 29.07.16 4:34pm
Jodster
Teenage hacker ‘passes Donald Trump’s tax returns to President Obama’

The hacker, who is believed to be Mexican, also passed Hillary Clinton’s ‘missing’ 33,000 emails to Donald Trump. “Hey, I like Mexicans now! Burritos and fajitas all round! Did I ever tell...

0
farmer giles 29.07.16 4:00pm
farmer giles
Greendale no longer has its own postman, Royal Mail confirm

no more post soon No more post or cats soon...

0
Not Amused 29.07.16 3:20pm
Not Amused
Delay of Hinckley Point electricity deal was a 'lightbulb moment', says May 0
Loundshay 29.07.16 2:14pm
Loundshay
So-called Islamic State commits so-called murder of so-called innocent victim

Apparently the BBC believes that prefacing any lie, deception or untruth with the words 'so-called' makes it acceptable. 'We know that so-called Islamic State is desperate to acquire the status and...

0
sockpuppet 29.07.16 1:29pm
sockpuppet
UK unclear energy policy 'confused'.

Hat tip to dominic_mcg ...

0
sockpuppet 29.07.16 12:57pm
sockpuppet
So-called Islamic State ‘just about ready for a break now’

With the school holidays in full swing IS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi today declared himself ‘just about ready for a break now. Speaking from his office in downtown Aleppo, al-Baghdadi said:...

1
Mandy Lifeboat 29.07.16 12:22pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Husband's 'Ain’t No Sunshine When She's Gone' vow upsets double negative pedant

A seemingly innocuous attempt to participate in the popular ‘7 day song challenge’ went badly wrong for Telford hand-drier sales rep Steve Vickers yesterday, after his wife, Samantha, stumbled...

1
chrisf 29.07.16 11:42am
Wrexfan