The NewsBiscuit Writers' Room
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Everything on these pages has been submitted by readers of the site and appears here unedited. Potential front page stories as well as one-liners for the ticker bar are welcome, so if you would like to write for NewsBiscuit please post your article on this submission board and then attempt to give yourself maximum votes over and over again. The most prolific and successful contributors will be considered for the coveted title of 'Writer of the Month'.
Check the following links for info: Guidelines for writers, Writer of the Month, Help with posting.
| Topic — Add New » | Comments | Votes | Author | Last Comment |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room | 0 | Nice Admin Lady | 02.12.13 11:19pm Nice Admin Lady |
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| Brexiteers still undecided on venue for piss-up Britain's increasingly uptight Brexiteers are calling on the government to hurry up and finally organise the piss-up in a brewery that they voted for over two-and-a-half years ago. However, many of... |
12 |  |
Crayon | 21.01.19 9:07am Titus |
| Brexit and the Wall: UK and US Compete in World Stupidity Championship Citizens of countries around the globe have been asked to vote for a Eurovision-style scoreboard to determine which country is the world’s biggest laughing stock at present. The UK and US have both... |
4 | |
Kimia Etemadi | 21.01.19 7:50am Sinnick |
| Motion to skin a cat reaches impasse upon discovery of more than 1 way to do it The black cat was convicted by a 52 to 48 majority of villagers after it was blamed for killing chickens, turning milk sour, the evil eye, bringing plague, and "walking about like he fucking owns the... |
2 | |
Benvoleo | 21.01.19 5:57am Candide |
| WORLD ECONOMICS: Trump’s wall threatens US electorate with cocaine price rise. | 1 | |
Newsdesk | 21.01.19 12:27am MzWibble |
| Second Referedum Ballot Form Revealed Please number your preference in order, with '1' as your first choice etc. Or the other way round if you prefer - your choice, it's a free country, thanks to those noble champions of democracy /... |
0 | |
Titus | 21.01.19 12:26am Titus |
| Trump snookered | 1 | |
Guido Drapatolli | 21.01.19 12:21am MzWibble |
| Fox: Remainers trying to kidnap Brexit I've rightfully stolen. Marks for anyone who gets the reference... |
0 | |
Benvoleo | 21.01.19 12:02am Benvoleo |
| A crap deal is better than a shit deal. Which is better than a poor deal or a bad deal... |
29 | |
MzWibble | 20.01.19 11:47pm MzWibble |
| 'Schrödinger's Catch' EU Deal Proposed: In & Not In At The Same Time Just need a transition period before opening the box, and a backstop to prevent anyone from ever being able to open it anyway. Hat-tip to apepper ... |
0 | |
Titus | 20.01.19 11:26pm Titus |
| Boris proposes bridge between Birmingham and Switzerland Boris Johnson has proposed building a bridge between "the workshop of Britain - Birmingham - and that other great non-EU country; Switzerland." Mr Johnson went on; "This will get rid of all the hold... |
3 | |
apepper | 20.01.19 11:18pm Titus |
| Scientists unsure how many ways to skin Schrödinger's cat Hat tip to Benvoleo for the train of thought!... |
0 | |
apepper | 20.01.19 11:09pm apepper |
| The key to solving Brexit: Was the Glorious Revolution an invasion? Historians have surprised the political stage by announcing a rare intervention: They have come to a conclusion with immediate relevance to the modern world. Professor Marcus Dustius Tomius revealed... |
0 | |
MzWibble | 20.01.19 10:31pm MzWibble |
| Tony Blair delighted to have calmed the Brexit debate After appearing on BBC Radio 4 in an in-depth interview on the Brexit crisis, ex Prime Minister Tony Blair was said to be 'delighted' that his words have apparently calmed the crisis. "I am always... |
4 | |
MzWibble | 20.01.19 10:24pm MzWibble |
| There's so little going on in the UK that Liam Fox gets on the news. More soon. | 0 | |
dominic_mcg | 20.01.19 9:13pm dominic_mcg |
| Mike Ashley plans to buy the UK. More soon. | 0 | |
dominic_mcg | 20.01.19 9:10pm dominic_mcg |
| That guy who always wears shorts has pushed you too far You've finally been pushed too far by that guy who lives down your road. The one who wears shorts all year round irrespective of the weather. He's now top of your your list of complete tossers,... |
2 | |
Chipchase | 20.01.19 9:08pm Sir Lupus |
| BBC under fire for sexism and racism in Celebrity Mastermind The BBC has been accused of racism and sexism in its treatment of contestant Diane Abbott MP on Celebrity Mastermind. She chose to answer questions on what she called "the magical world of numbers",... |
1 | |
YaBasta | 20.01.19 8:28pm Titus |
| Ladbrokes To Open Book On Next Country To Follow Britain Out Of EU More later - please form an orderly queue ... |
3 | |
Titus | 20.01.19 6:29pm MzWibble |
| Indiana to change name to more politically correct Aboriginalana State capital to become Fuckyoupalefaceopolis. The position of Governor will be retitled Big Chief Sitting Bullshitter. Black market ticket sellers at the annual car race (the Inca 500) will... |
0 | |
Renrag | 20.01.19 4:25pm Renrag |
| Astronomers excited by 'super blood wolf moon', the Korean super hero. | 0 | |
dominic_mcg | 20.01.19 2:28pm dominic_mcg |
| 29th March? Sorry, meant February. 30th February. | 5 | |
throngsman | 20.01.19 1:48pm Benvoleo |
| Remainians Still Convinced That It's Easier To Polish A Turd From The Inside More, for ever probably ... |
7 | |
Titus | 20.01.19 1:46pm Al OPecia |
| Norfolk woman loses no-claims bonus. | 0 | |
Newsdesk | 20.01.19 1:21pm Newsdesk |
| Trump perturbed about Rocket Ronnie. | 0 | |
ron cawleyoni | 20.01.19 1:18pm ron cawleyoni |
| Smart Tories DesperateTo Have Another General Election While Corbyn Leads Labour | 0 | |
Titus | 20.01.19 1:06pm Titus |
| Leave Means Leave Sightly, Just A Little Bit, With Conditions, Eventually, Maybe Just to make sure that absolutely everyone is dissatisfied, but all of them equally so. Yay! Ain't democracy wonderful- misgovernment of the people, by a few of the people, for even fewer of the... |
3 | |
Titus | 20.01.19 12:32pm Titus |
| Madam Tussauds says making waxwork of May unnecessary "we'll just wheel the real one in and leave her in a corner, surrounded by wet paint". More soon... |
0 | |
Al OPecia | 20.01.19 9:42am Al OPecia |
| Scottish pupils in hospital after “fresh vegetables” incident. Five pupils were hospitalised after suspected raw vegetables incident at a school in Glasgow. The pupils were taken to the local infirmary, while six others were treated with lard and later sent home... |
7 | |
dominic_mcg | 20.01.19 9:30am Al OPecia |
| Profitable Blue Monday Expected by Harmonica Salesman Harmonica Salesman Buddy Christie said January is traditionally a good month for the industry, with a peak in sales on Blue Monday, but this month sales have been high throughout, aided by Brexit.... |
0 | |
SarahTipper | 20.01.19 9:15am SarahTipper |
| US Still Ahead Of Britain In 'Chaos' Championship, Even Without Brexit Mind you, still got a long way to go to catch up with Zimbabwe, Somalia and Yemen ... |
0 | |
Titus | 20.01.19 9:09am Titus |
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