The NewsBiscuit Writers' Room
Everything on these pages has been submitted by readers of the site and appears here unedited. Potential front page stories as well as one-liners for the ticker bar are welcome, so if you would like to write for NewsBiscuit please post your article on this submission board and then attempt to give yourself maximum votes over and over again. The most prolific and successful contributors will be considered for the coveted title of 'Writer of the Month'.
|Topic — Add New »||Comments||Votes||Author||Freshness|
|Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room||0||Nice Admin Lady||12 months|
|May in passport warning to supermarket fighters||2||
||Bob Crumpett||40 minutes|
Theresa May has issued a strong warning to British citizens travelling to foreign supermarkets to fight over discounted goods., In a statement to the Commons, the Home Secretary said "the rise of...
|Cameron introduces yellow star badges for EU immigrants.||1||
The Prime Minister has announced the introduction of a bold new measure to identify and deter the increasing number of Europeans who come into Britain only to abuse the welfare system. All EU...
|Chaos on Newsbiscuit as baying mob fight over cheap jokes||2||
|Ferguson shops say "business as usual" on Black Friday||0||
more cheap jokes soon...
|Under Cameron's anti-EU immigrant worker plans...||0||
Nigel Farage's wife will be deported from the UK and not allowed to claim UK child benefit...
|David Mellor and Andrew Mitchell to bring out Christmas duet||3||
more soon <hands baton to the editorial team>...
|Black Friday chaos as shoppers at Ann Summers put all their basques in one exit||5||
||Adrian Bamforth||4 hours|
|Premier League match abandoned after no-one brings a ball. - 2||36||
Last night's Premier League fixture between Manchester United and Crystal Palace was abandoned after it turned out that neither team had brought a football with them. "We're very upset", Palace...
|Buy Nothing Day campaign splits in promotional T-shirt crisis||5||
||Sir Lupus||5 hours|
With just three weeks to go until the 29th November Buy Nothing Day, anti-consumerism campaigners are embroiled in vicious infighting over a range of clothing designed to promote the day. “We just...
|Twats go panic shopping on account of a 'black' day they never heard of before||6||
|Riots as US runs out of bullets||20||
At 1.36 Eastern Standard Time the United States of America officially declared that they had run out of ammo. The ensuing chaos has seen riots and looting in twelve major cities, as a bewildered...
|Black Day shopper brings home broken arm. More soon.||0||
||Al OPecia||8 hours|
|Ferguson police look forward to another black Friday.||1||
|Tesco ‘Gladiator’ Sale – up to 60% off for survivors||4||
Tesco have announced plans for customers to fight to the death in special arenas in exchange for significant discounts. ‘We got the idea from Black Friday’, said a spokesman. ‘At first we were...
|Pesticide retailers report record Blackfly Day sales||0||
||Midfield Diamond||8 hours|
|Boris gets tough on wheelie-suitcases||0||
||Arjan K||9 hours|
Boris Johnson’s popularity has soared after banning wheeled suitcases from the London Underground, the first in a series of measures aimed at making the city’s public transport more efficient. ...
|Johannesburg struggles to dispose of 30,000 misspelled ‘Blick Friday’ signs||0||
||Iroquois Pliskin||9 hours|
|Man who refused Oxfam donation visited by goat of xmas past||0||
||Sir Lupus||9 hours|
H/t to ronseal...
|Non-sheep agree this is a very Black Friday for the UK||0||
|Fisherman celebrates amazing Black Friday'd Eel||0||
|Riots in the Ottery St. Mary Cancer Relief Shop.||3||
||Ian Searle||10 hours|
Crowds of three people had been gathering since five to ten this morning, attracted by the price of crochet toilet roll holders being slashed to just 20p...
|Black Friday: Cameron demands compulsory queueing rules for EU migrants||0||
|Offer Wales Round-Table and Medieval Court says Carwyn Jones||0||
||Iroquois Pliskin||11 hours|
“Wales should be given similar mythical powers to Scotland” argues First Minister Carwyn Jones, as Scottish Parliament prepares to receive more hastily-promised devolutionary authority from...
|Sales spree day renamed "Black Eye Friday". More soon.||0||
||Al OPecia||11 hours|
|Scotland to be allowed to choose their own plot directions in EastEnders||4||
In yet another concession towards Scottish nationalist feelings, Westminster has announced that from Summer 2015 Holyrood will be able to take control of plot and character development in the version...
|10% off all Black Friday tick||0||
|Dyslexic to be visited by three goats over Xmas||0||
|Left wing blogger gets LinkedIn skills endorsement in Comparing People to Hitler||8||
|White Stuff celebrates Black Friday by selling 50 Shades of Grey||0||
||Ian Searle||13 hours|
|Counseling Offered To Those Depressed Who Didn't Find a Bargain||1||
||Dun Dunkin||13 hours|
"People traumatised at 'missing out' as the best bargains vanished from shop shelves can get a 1 to 1 with a therapist who will regress them into their past lives to discover the root of their...
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