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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Big Ben Bong Bung Bid Buggered

OK lots of other posts on the same theme but I'd like to think this beats other Big Ben Bong efforts. Shame, in a way, that we now have a new Commons speaker. Big Ben Bong Bung Bid Buggered By...

Titus 17.01.20 2:15pm
Pope asks God if he can be 'less Popey'

His Holiness the Pope has asked God if it’s OK to be a bit less ‘Pontifical’. A conference call with the deity and diverse angels in the realms of glory was last week held to discuss the...

nickb 17.01.20 2:08pm
Midfield Diamond
Jools Holland drafted in to replace Big Ben Bong fiasco with a Brexitnanny.

Jools Holland has been drafted in at the last minute to BBC Maida Vale studios this week to record a Brexitnanny! In place of Big Ben Bong going going gone!, Something which sent shivers down Jacob...

ron cawleyoni 17.01.20 2:08pm
ron cawleyoni
Bercow beats Harry to join Bake Off team 0
tamoshanter 17.01.20 2:03pm
Post-Christmas cycle of cheese left over/biscuits left over set to continue

Across the nation, households are struggling to finish up the stockpiles of cheese and biscuits bought for the festive season without being left with too much cheese for the remaining biscuits, or...

Midfield Diamond 17.01.20 1:57pm
Sir Lupus
No bells to listen to on 31 Jan? Why not write for Newsbiscuit instead? 0
Mick Turate 17.01.20 12:58pm
Mick Turate
No bells to listen to on 31 Jan? Why not write for Newsbiscuit instead? 0
Mick Turate 17.01.20 12:57pm
Mick Turate
Clearasil rebrands as Zitxit 0
Mick Turate 17.01.20 12:12pm
Mick Turate
Tyson Fury's Training Technique Involves Him Going Onan On Onan On 0
Titus 17.01.20 11:59am
Man who ordered 200L of Tipp-Ex on Ebay admits having made a BIG mistake! 15
Ian Searle 17.01.20 11:43am
‘Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, except me’ claims Nandy

Labour leadership hopeful and part-time Franco-file, Lisa Nandy, suggested that the best way to deal with Scottish Independence was riot shields and prison-size portions of escudellla. Responding to...

Wrenfoe 17.01.20 11:37am
Yes Minister star gives up heartbeat

Breaking news...

beau-jolly 17.01.20 11:32am
".. and the winner, by a knock-one-out, in the blue corner, is Tyson Fury" 1
Sinnick 17.01.20 11:23am
Long-Bailey: "Restore power to the people - my people, obviously" 0
Sinnick 17.01.20 11:22am
Man who told fellatio joke accused of blowing bubble entendre 0
sydalg 17.01.20 10:40am
Labour To Keep Rebecca Long-Shot In Reserve Until Jacob Rees-Smug Leads Tories

Then, Britain can re-join the Holy Roman Empire instead of the EU and the 100-years war can resume ...

Titus 17.01.20 10:34am
Bell Ends Hope For Continuing Remain Campaign

Missing hyphen? ...

Titus 17.01.20 10:27am
Bongxit 0
Mick Turate 17.01.20 10:18am
Mick Turate
Brandon Lewis granted MOT Test Centre licence

Conservative MP and Minister of State for Security, Brandon Lewis, is cock-a-hoop today after his application to the Department of Transport requesting that his car lot, Brandon’s Autos of Romford...

Chipchase 17.01.20 10:07am
Toksvig to leave The Great British Bake Off after cooling off on a wire rack 0
Ian Searle 17.01.20 10:01am
Ian Searle
Odds Are Against Gambling Companies Starting To Act Responsibly Any Time Soon 0
Titus 17.01.20 7:52am
Wife of premature ejaculator admits it gets on her tits.

More old joke rehashes soon...

NotNowCato 16.01.20 2:41pm
Old porn movies to be digitally remasturbated 3
sydalg 16.01.20 1:28pm
Dick Everyman
Francois commissions new bell to commemorate UK's EU exit

Tory Spartan Mark Francois, possibly the most ironic surname imaginable for a man who holds such strong views on Europe, has announced that as Big Ben will not be sounded to celebrate the UK's...

Chipchase 16.01.20 1:25pm
"£50K a bong?! What's it made of? Bleedin' Lalique crystal?", says Speaker Hoyle 6
Walter Eagle 16.01.20 12:39pm
Appeal for Westminster Palace Bell ends; Brexiteers gather in Parliament Square

Hat Tips to pretty much everyone...

Benvoleo 16.01.20 12:36pm
Bell Ends Remainers Campaign

Should there be an apostrophe there somewhere? ...

Titus 16.01.20 10:09am
Big Bong Theory - Scientists Sceptical That This Will Create A New Universe 0
Titus 16.01.20 10:05am
Garlic bread banned from Brexit Day Celebrations

Event organisers of the Brexit Day celebrations, which is to take place in London’s Parliament Square on 31 January, have stipulated that only proper British food and good old British entertainment...

Dick Everyman 16.01.20 8:51am
Owner of electric car finds he needs a current licence 1
Smart Alex 16.01.20 8:22am