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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Boris Offers to Buy Ireland

After being instructed by Angela Merkel to develop an alternative to the Backstop as a resolution to the Irish Border issue, Boris Johnson has announced the UK Government’s intention to buy Ireland...

james_doc 22.08.19 6:46pm
Office Of Nat. Statistics Doesn't Even Know If Anyone Else Is Coming Or Going 0
Titus 22.08.19 6:04pm
HS2 'Lacks Credibility'

Given the wildly escalating costs and doubts regarding the extent of any real need for this hugely expensive project, reductions in its scope have been proposed. 'We could save a huge amount of...

Titus 22.08.19 4:26pm
Little boy not going to a party because girl won’t sell him Tracy Island

A spoilt little brat called Donald who was invited to his friend Margrethe’s house for a party is having a hissy fit instead because she won’t sell her favourite toy to him. Stamping his feet in...

Midfield Diamond 22.08.19 4:08pm
Hot Dog concession for Saudi Pride parade post Brexit almost signed says Boris 0
tonymc81 22.08.19 3:55pm
Bury FC go first six games of season without conceding a goal

now that [i]is[/i] newsworthy, surely?...

Walter Eagle 22.08.19 2:42pm
10 Fighter Jets accompanying Royals budget flight normal service say FlyBe 0
tonymc81 22.08.19 2:15pm
Lib Dems mistake 'work- shadowing' for shadow cabinet

Putting aside a few minor details, like no votes or MPs, Jo Swinson has made the audacious move of nominating a Shadow Cabinet – which came as a surprise to the actual Shadow Cabinet. ...

Wrenfoe 22.08.19 2:03pm
Army to recruit "new" pensioners

MOD spokesman, Geoffrey Johnson, today confirmed that the army will begin recruiting "new" pensioners once the revised pension rules are introduced. "We currently recruit far too many vulnerable...

Hindari Banga 22.08.19 12:49pm
Hindari Banga
Dating app user freaks out after receiving normal message

Sarah Paulley, a beauty therapist from Chester, has finally recovered from the shock of receiving a normal message from a man on a dating app. The 22-year old was browsing the app one evening after...

KateWritesStuff 22.08.19 12:31pm
MP’s demand total ban on cars and order 650 Sedan chairs 0
tonymc81 22.08.19 11:46am
Shock as one DUP MP actually comments on an issue other than Northern Ireland

Despite holding an unhealthy balance of power and propping up Boris Johnson's minority government, pretend political party, the DUP, has never had anything whatsoever to say on any of the nation's...

Chipchase 22.08.19 11:30am
Amazon fires not available on Kindle. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 22.08.19 9:48am
Southend Beach:Couple steal a bag of stones,6 Dogs turds and 3 used condoms 2
tonymc81 22.08.19 9:33am
"Result!" says Danish PM after Trump cancels visit.

Following the row over the Greenland no deal, the Danish Prime Minister has spoken of his feelings on learning that he can no longer look forward to the Trumps as house guests. "Naturally I had to...

Sir Lupus 22.08.19 9:24am
Changing Letters To Numbers Transforms Schoolchildren's Academic Abilities

Let's try the same with hygiene standards, pollution levels, Standard & Poor's company ratings, Tripadvisor ratings and NewsBollosck star awards. In fact, there's probably a potential sub in the...

Titus 22.08.19 9:19am
Thanet District Council offers Trump cut-price deal on Dreamland 0
Smart Alex 22.08.19 6:55am
Smart Alex
Woman goes freelance to avoid wearing a bra all day

Norah Curtis, a Junior Copywriter from Weston Super-Mare triumphantly handed in her notice this morning after having an epiphany whilst in the lingerie section of M&S. The 27-year-old finally...

KateWritesStuff 22.08.19 5:21am
Planet Saved By Paying Wind Farms £Millions To NOT Generate Electricity But obvs., anyone who dares draw attention to bollosck like this is a brain-dead Climate Change Denier ...

Titus 21.08.19 11:48pm
Walter Eagle
Prince hates exploitation of human beings say Buckingham palace – Really,Really? 0
tonymc81 21.08.19 9:18pm
Donald Trump fails in bid to buy Colin Welland. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 21.08.19 7:43pm
Denmark to bait Trump with Greenland and switch for Legoland 3
Crayon 21.08.19 7:34pm
DUP says Northern Ireland has "puludugul problems"

Amid renewed political tensions surrounding Northern Ireland, the DUP's ten MPs continue to voice their particular concerns about what they seem to be calling "very serious puludugul problems". The...

Crayon 21.08.19 6:31pm
Terry Bunn
Forbes admits Johnson on wrong list - should have been highest paid movie star 0
Smart Alex 21.08.19 6:12pm
Smart Alex
Trump: "Greenland's the one in Anaheim CA, isn't it ?" 0
Sinnick 21.08.19 4:50pm
UK neglects to threaten US with no-deal

In what some are calling a classic rookie mistake of counting your poker face before the chips have bolted, the UK is telling anyone who might be listening that it really really wants to have a trade...

Crayon 21.08.19 4:36pm
Cardinal Pell wins reprieve from eternal torture after confession booth plea

Cardinal George Pell, the most senior Catholic cleric to be convicted of sexual abuse, has won a reprieve from his sentence of everlasting punishment, and will instead live for eternity in paradise...

Adrian Bamforth 21.08.19 3:44pm
Midfield Diamond
Trump says Greenland bid 404 error of judgement.

Donald Trump says Greenland bid was an error..I never really wanted any dealing, with the Prince of Denmark, in fact I’d rather have dealings with ‘Primark ...

ron cawleyoni 21.08.19 3:31pm
ron cawleyoni
British car industry to be run by Mad Max

Years after the collapse of civilization and several hours after Brexit, a lone road-warrior is to be given the task of rebuilding the UK's auto industry and fighting off marauding biker gangs. All...

Wrenfoe 21.08.19 2:37pm
Thomas The Tank Engine slams 'HS2 shambles'

The Nation's favourite tank engine, Thomas, has waded into today's HS2 review controversy slamming the proposed super railway scheme 'a cash-guzzling preposterous government white elephant, not to...

Chipchase 21.08.19 1:59pm