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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Richmond eccentric loses seat

Mr Rich Goldsmith, known as Homeless Zac, has been ousted from his seat in Richmond Park, London. It caps a personally disastrous year in which he was moved on from what he had seen as his home on...

1
immacagain 03.12.16 11:34am
Sir Lupus
China furious as Taiwan wins contract to build Mexican wall. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 03.12.16 10:33am
dominic_mcg
Fuck up man gets Abbey spot

Hat tip immacagain...

0
nickb 03.12.16 9:43am
nickb
Trump Plans To Visit Tibet & Invites State Visit From Dali Lama

[Hat tip to immacagain.] Trump continues to pull China's chain: the White House to order no more Chinese takeaways ...

0
Titus 03.12.16 8:45am
Titus
Nico Rosberg Undecided Whether To Now Lead UKIP Or Head A Child Abuse Enquiry 1
Titus 03.12.16 8:32am
Titus
'Isn't Taiwan the capital of China?' asks Trump 1
immacagain 03.12.16 8:31am
Titus
Larkin poem published to mark his rise to Poets' Corner

[u]Lines On Poets' Corner[/u] They fuck you up the Anglicans,, They fuck the west, the south, north, East Anglians,, Until you fear a mortal sin,, When a librarian sticks it in., They keep a...

1
immacagain 03.12.16 8:29am
Titus
Article 50 triggering case to be decided by European Court 0
immacagain 03.12.16 7:54am
immacagain
Government plans to clamp down on ‘unconventional’ property porn

Under controversial proposals going through Parliament, TV service providers could be forced to block access to certain forms of property porn. The move has long been demanded by traditional...

3
Oxbridge 03.12.16 6:40am
Gerontius
Town bans Christmas – to avoid offending the Welsh

There is no Norwegian spruce in the square this year. Most houses are not covered in cheerful fairy lights. The pretty independent shops lack snow scenes in their windows. Is this Islamabad? Kabul?...

6
immacagain 02.12.16 10:49pm
immacagain
Big country indicative of small penis says David Cameron - 2

H[i]ave made some small edits - with thanks to FOAD and Squudge for their suggestions.[/i] In a riposte to President Putin’s aide’s dismissal of the UK as a small country that nobody listens to,...

35
Wicked Lady 02.12.16 10:35pm
andyiong
May to ignore democratic verdict of Witney and continue with Brexit

..now people know what a shit-fest the whole Brexit thing is they have obviously changed their minds. Of course if you don't agree we will need something a referendum maybe to decide...

2
baron la croix 02.12.16 10:20pm
baron la croix
"Proliferation of fake news websites exaggerated", reports fake news website 0
Dumbnews 02.12.16 10:12pm
Dumbnews
Mumm-Ra the Ever-Living given six months to live

Mumm-Ra the Ever Living - immortal adversary of the ThunderCats - today announced that he has only six months to live. He admitted that the diagnosis had come as a shock. “Yes, I'd been pissing...

0
ItsMeJack 02.12.16 9:36pm
ItsMeJack
Resurgent Lib-Dems book second phone box for next party conference 0
Mandy Lifeboat 02.12.16 8:58pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Donald Trump says he’ll use Lego to build his border wall

Donald Trump has confirmed that the wall he pledged to build along the Mexico-US border will be made entirely of Lego. President-elect Trump said that he was persuaded a 2,000-mile-long Lego wall...

0
ItsMeJack 02.12.16 8:57pm
ItsMeJack
"Brexit" to replace "Thatcher" as excuse for all society's problems. 1
dominic_mcg 02.12.16 8:52pm
immacagain
Hosepipe Ban Extended Into December 1
Titus 02.12.16 7:58pm
immacagain
Buzz Aldrin falls ill as he learns South Pole has already ‘been done’

The second man to walk on the moon has been evacuated from Antarctica after falling ill following his discovery that he wouldn’t be the first man to reach the South Pole either. The Apollo 11...

2
UniversalExile 02.12.16 7:01pm
UniversalExile
Man fails to persuade wife that his ‘dad bod’ is the climax of human evolution

Trevor Williams, a man, has failed to convince his wife that his ‘dad bod’ is the long-awaited conclusion of human evolution. “I'm very disappointed” said Mr Williams. “A few months...

1
ItsMeJack 02.12.16 6:29pm
jonessgl
Boris does Mannequin Challenge to prove he doesn't support freedom of movement

Boris Johnson did a six hour long Mannequin Challenge yesterday in an attempt to dispel rumours that he privately supports free movement of people within Europe, a view contrary to the Government's...

0
ItsMeJack 02.12.16 5:02pm
ItsMeJack
First Brexit fatality as Spanish waiter dies to avoid deportation 1
sydalg 02.12.16 4:41pm
Oxbridge
Trump appoints actual mad dog to cabinet

More to follow...

2
apepper 02.12.16 4:01pm
Midfield Diamond
Man who stole mobile phone battery pack currently 68% charged with the offence 1
Underconstruction 02.12.16 3:25pm
beau-jolly
Granddaughter mourns Sachs. Russell Brand has a lump in his throat. 0
cinquecento 02.12.16 1:13pm
cinquecento
Delighted Lib-Dems Go Home And Prepare For Government

All they need now is for every Tory MP to quit their party, and for UKIP and the Greens to decline to stand against them in the consequent by-elections. This would leave the Monster Raving Loony...

2
Titus 02.12.16 12:43pm
throngsman
Man wishes people were watching when he DOES hit the bin

Printshop worker Alex Daniels last night protested that he DOES hit the bin, quite often actually, it's just that no one's looking when he manages it. He was speaking after using up the last of his...

0
Bravenewmalden 02.12.16 11:27am
Bravenewmalden
Russell Brand wears black armband.. made from Sachs grandaughters knickers. 0
MADJEZ 02.12.16 11:12am
MADJEZ
Sachs asked if there is life after death, says 'I know nothing...' 0
Oxbridge 02.12.16 9:17am
Oxbridge
Southgate was victim of abuse, mainly for missing THAT f***ing penalty.

More well deserved jibes soon...

1
MADJEZ 02.12.16 7:54am
Midfield Diamond