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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 1 year
Teenagers complain life not 'true to TV' 0
Renrag 2 hours
Fears for ancient site as coach-load of schoolchildren moves closer 1
Adrian Bamforth 4 hours

Schoolchildren from a South London comprehensive have entered the county of Wiltshire, and are heading toward Stonehenge, according to reports. The group, from Park Hill Juniors, Bermondsey, who's...

Tesco opens 'dementia friendly tills' 2
throngsman 4 hours

"Our new dementia friendly tills in Chester use specially trained staff," said store manager Alan Bates. "Now, instead of just asking 'have you forgotten anything today?' when a customer arrives at...

Holy Communion wine to be replaced with gay spunk and thrown in your face. 19
Crayon 4 hours
Composer of atonal music loses his keys 0
Smart Alex 6 hours
Seven countries to watch out for in this year's Eurovision 6
harrypalmer 6 hours

Austria, Following drag queen Conchita Wurst's sensational victory last year Austria have opted for more traditional Eurovision fare this time around. Singer-songwriter Lena Weber's melodic ballad...

Turkeys vote not to sever links with Christmas 4
Wicked Lady 8 hours

The leader of the Turkeys Union for Christmas (TUC), Cluck McCluskey, has said his union is considering ending its ties with Christmas. The Grand Old Bird Brain Leader (or Gobbler as the leader of...

Correction: Bankers NOT imprisoned‏ 3
Wrenfoe 9 hours

It has come to our attention, that a typographical error may have given a false impression that employees at the world's five largest banks are facing trial as a result of constant acts of...

Flamboyantly gay cowboy boasts: "I shocked the sheriff" 0
sydalg 10 hours
N Korea updates Clapton hit to 'I shot the sheriff, uncle, general...' 0
throngsman 10 hours
Finland calls up reserves on eve of Eurovision 0
throngsman 11 hours

"This is the closest we've come to war since the regional Morris dancing contest two years ago," said Vlan Slastiburger, Finland's defence minister. "We've heard their entry and it could be 2008 all...

British porn industry holds in-out debate 9
David Microband 11 hours

The British porn industry will hold an in-out debate ahead of the EU referendum in 2017. Porn stars are currently split right down the middle with many saying they could swing either way. With things...

Hokey Cokey society to hold in-out referendum 1
apepper 12 hours

More to follow...

Toddler rejects her gay mums 0
Dick Everyman 14 hours

A two year-old toddler stamped her feet in protest after realising that she has two mummies and no daddy. The shocking scene was witnessed by several shoppers in Dublin’s Nutgrove Shopping Centre...

Baker refuses to bake cake with "Worlds Greatest Dad" message 7
bonjonelson 15 hours

A baker in Northumberland is unrepentant after refusing to decorate a cake for a customer. Sonya Foolscap, 27, claims that a customer, Laura Brannigan, 19, came into the shop on Thursday with a...

Canute Claims He Can Turn Back the Tide 1
Dun Dunkin 15 hours

"I know I said this 5 years ago as well and the tide just keep coming in faster but really i can do it"...

Immigrants "clearly to blame" for Kent earthquake 2
Philip Kendall 16 hours

The combined weight of migrant workers arriving on Britain's shores is causing the country to tilt, it was revealed earlier today as areas of Kent were violently rocked by a small earthquake....

Police uncover Germanic State bomb plot near Wembley 0
Scronnyglonkle 16 hours
Deflowered Kent virgins amazed that "Earth really does move" 1
apepper 16 hours

More to follow...

Kent Earthquake: 'God venting his wrath for not voting UKIP', says Farage 2
Vespus 17 hours

While today’s earthquake, measuring 4.2 on the Richter Scale, shocked most of Kent, Nigel Farage said he was not surprised in the least. ‘It is God venting his wrath for not voting UKIP’. He...

Cameron opens EU talks with a raspberry noise 0
Wrenfoe 18 hours

The Prime Minister has begun his discussions with other European leaders, with the bold gambit of pulling his trousers down and inviting spectators to ‘kiss my pink tushie’. Many political...

Titanic: Police closing in on Iceberg - confident of arrest 1
ronseal 18 hours
National drugs service offers free cocaine to parents. 0
Sir Lupus 19 hours

Dealers across the UK were inundated with enquiries from harassed parents, after one mum posted on her Facebook page that cocaine was free to parents of small children under the "ailments due to...

Red Cross supplies held up on M25 following Kent earthquake 0
Dick Everyman 19 hours
BBC Admits Pro Israeli Bias 0
Dun Dunkin 1 day

Oi yoi and they seemed such nice boys?...

Militant Christian bakers capture Brighton and destroy historical gay sites. 5
Crayon 1 day

Reports are coming in from the southern province of East Sussex that a fundamentalist force of Christian bakers, cake decorators and cream fillers have worked themselves up into a extreme state and...

Guided Jihadi Uk Tours a Surprise Success 0
Dun Dunkin 1 day

"I didn't think anyone would turn up when I launched a guided tour of the jihadi uk locations but the bus tours have been booked out for weeks. Some group booking even dress up. Due to requests I...

Catholic Church: Same Sex Marriage okay, as long as it's not with a Protestant 2
Adrian Bamforth 1 day
Ex TV presenter cries Into Beer 0
Dun Dunkin 1 day
Catholic Church: Same Sex Marriage okay, as long as it's not with a Protestant 1
Adrian Bamforth 1 day