The NewsBiscuit Writers' Room
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Everything on these pages has been submitted by readers of the site and appears here unedited. Potential front page stories as well as one-liners for the ticker bar are welcome, so if you would like to write for NewsBiscuit please post your article on this submission board and then attempt to give yourself maximum votes over and over again. The most prolific and successful contributors will be considered for the coveted title of 'Writer of the Month'.
Check the following links for info: Guidelines for writers, Writer of the Month, Help with posting.
| Topic — Add New » | Comments | Votes | Author | Last Comment |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room | 0 | Nice Admin Lady | 02.12.13 11:19pm Nice Admin Lady |
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| Saudi Embassy Criticised For 'Sub Standard' Health & Safety Assessment | 0 |  |
Titus | 19.10.18 9:37pm Titus |
| Cleggbook suspends Nuneaton account | 0 | |
Guido Drapatolli | 19.10.18 8:56pm Guido Drapatolli |
| Botched compliment Saudi correspondent put to death following disastrously botched compliment., "Your majesty", he wheedled " May I say you are looking chipper today"... |
0 | |
interdog | 19.10.18 8:06pm interdog |
| Clegg promises no more Facebook adverts for students. More soon. | 0 | |
dominic_mcg | 19.10.18 7:09pm dominic_mcg |
| Milkman sales soar after Man Booker Prize win. Eggs and yoghurt also available. | 0 | |
dominic_mcg | 19.10.18 7:08pm dominic_mcg |
| Pampered hate preacher vacates space for The Dirty Score. | 0 | |
ron cawleyoni | 19.10.18 6:22pm ron cawleyoni |
| Kleenex Mansize name changed welcomed by..#Atchmechoo campaign. | 0 | |
ron cawleyoni | 19.10.18 6:10pm ron cawleyoni |
| Facebook recruits Clegg so it can’t influence elections | 3 | |
Myke | 19.10.18 6:00pm Standards Officer |
| Students accuse Clegg of joining Twofacebook. | 0 | |
ron cawleyoni | 19.10.18 5:55pm ron cawleyoni |
| Silvio Berlusconi saddened Facebook didn’t put him in charge of global affairs. | 0 | |
satire1 | 19.10.18 5:25pm satire1 |
| Queen's luck finally runs out after 27 years as she visits Bracknell | 0 | |
Chipchase | 19.10.18 5:19pm Chipchase |
| Porn sneaks onto mainstream TV as ‘How’s It Made?’ series do: ‘A baby’ In an effort to boost ratings, the nerdy-niche show from the something-or-other channel on page umpteen in the tv listings is producing episodes with edgier content, including: ‘How it’s made: A... |
0 | |
DavidH | 19.10.18 4:47pm DavidH |
| Yorkshire barbers accuse 'Huddersfield 20' of giving grooming a bad name. | 0 | |
satire1 | 19.10.18 4:23pm satire1 |
| Assange faces more allegations of pussy abuse. | 0 | |
satire1 | 19.10.18 4:14pm satire1 |
| Boris proposes stopping the Earth's rotation for an hour to save summertime Former Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson, has proposed an alternative to the traditional turning the clocks back in the Autumn. Calling the current system "deranged" and "entirely preposterous", Mr... |
0 | |
apepper | 19.10.18 3:57pm apepper |
| Facebook hire Nick Clegg to improve integrity and PR with young people. More soon. Although this is just a truebiscuit really... |
0 | |
Sir Lupus | 19.10.18 3:56pm Sir Lupus |
| Kleenex toilet roll rebranded ‘arse-wipes’ [Hat-tip to Mother] Toilet roll manufacturer Kleenex has announced it will label its toilet tissues ‘arse-wipes’ to remove ambiguity about its official use. The move comes after the Advertising Standards Authority... |
2 | |
Myke | 19.10.18 3:51pm Sir Lupus |
| Saudis Hackers more feared than Russian Hackers. | 3 | |
ron cawleyoni | 19.10.18 3:10pm Bravenewmalden |
| Nick Clegg hired as Chief Whipping Boy at Facebook Social Media giant, Facebook, has confirmed reports today that it only hired former Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, as Head of Global Operations, in order to be able to blame him every time they... |
0 | |
Chipchase | 19.10.18 2:56pm Chipchase |
| Abandoned bicycle wheel probably no longer needs padlock Even the most opportunist petty thief has shown very little interest in one deflated wheel, resolutely chained to railings of Crawley train station. With its misshapen form and bespoke spokes poking... |
8 | |
Wrenfoe | 19.10.18 2:46pm Gerontius |
| As Canada legalise Cannabis Trudeau tells May“You think you got Border Problems” | 0 | |
ron cawleyoni | 19.10.18 1:53pm ron cawleyoni |
| Quantum physics lets MPs lie and not lie simultaneously [have a feeling I need to hat-tip for this (?)] A game changing breakthrough in quantum physics means politicians will soon be able to tell the truth and bullshit at the same time. Scientists at the... |
0 | |
Myke | 19.10.18 1:10pm Myke |
| Farted in face Tesco worker to sue for £20M..Trump to sue Stormy for TRILLIONS! | 0 | |
ron cawleyoni | 19.10.18 11:54am ron cawleyoni |
| Owen Jones announced as new James Bond Guardian columnist and militant flounce-moppet Owen Jones is set to unveiled as the new James Bond later today in a surprise move from the franchise. ‘It was something of a surprise for us too,’... |
22 | |
Skylarking | 19.10.18 11:51am Titus |
| Man flouts 'safely remove hardware' advice on computer yet again A man has once again decided to ignore important Windows advice telling him that it is not safe to remove his portable memory stick from his laptop, it has emerged. David McBride, a marketing... |
5 | |
chrisf | 19.10.18 9:06am chrisf |
| Jamal Khashoggi emerges from embassy toilet "Sorry guys. I'd definitely give it five minutes if I were you. What?"... |
5 | |
Bravenewmalden | 19.10.18 8:36am Sir Lupus |
| Dumetella Carolinensis Flees Trump Administration https://www.cornwalllive.com/news/cornwall-news/rare-catbird-america-twitchers-flocking-2121722 ... |
0 | |
Titus | 19.10.18 7:55am Titus |
| Saudis Finally Explain Disappearance Of Jamal Khashoggi 'We have thoroughly investigated the concerns expressed by Western infidels' said Mohammed Bin Lynr, spokesman for the Saudi government. 'We were so concerned that we flew in a dedicated team of... |
0 | |
Titus | 19.10.18 7:54am Titus |
| May recruits Choudary for Brexit team | 0 | |
Guido Drapatolli | 19.10.18 7:52am Guido Drapatolli |
| I read the news today Oh boy 4,000 holes near Blackpool Lancashire. | 0 | |
ron cawleyoni | 19.10.18 7:00am ron cawleyoni |
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