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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Police 'should be neutered' in sex abuse inquiries, says Met head

Hmmmmm..Maybe a sub in there...

Gerontius 11.02.16 9:01am
Animal protection groups fail to celebrate increased squid survival 0
Adrian Bamforth 11.02.16 12:00am
Adrian Bamforth
Person reportedly takes train

A passenger has reportedly taken a train from King's Lynn to King's Cross in order to get from one place to another. ...

Gary Baldy 10.02.16 11:52pm
Gary Baldy
Liverpool owners avert crisis by cutting top ticket price to £76.99 0
deskpilot3 10.02.16 10:51pm
Twitter's 'we deny we are less popular' tweet retweeted twice 0
throngsman 10.02.16 10:03pm
Executed North Korean general may have eaten the last piece of cheese

Kim Jong-Un may have had his military chief of staff executed because he ate the last piece of Camembert at a recent lunch meeting, according to South Korean intelligence sources. Initial reports...

harrypalmer 11.02.16 8:47am
Shariah police arrest Barbie for not having burkha 0
Dun Dunkin 10.02.16 8:27pm
Dun Dunkin
Government requests World War 3 be 'postponed until 2020'

The government has defended its decision to send ships it hasn't finished decommissioning to the Baltic based on President Putin's "unreasonable behaviour". "Everybody knows that starting a major war...

throngsman 10.02.16 8:15pm
Zika latest-Foreign Office advises travellers not to have a Brazilian 0
Dun Dunkin 10.02.16 6:40pm
Dun Dunkin
MPs threaten to walk out if junior doctors don’t get back to work

Conservative MPs say they are prepared to take industrial action if junior doctors do not accept the new pay and conditions contract currently on offer., The Tory MPs say time is running out in...

Gerontius 11.02.16 8:46am
White Actors Protest Lack of Diversity at BET Awards

BEVERLY HILLS, CA— While many are currently condemning the Oscars’ snubbing of a slew of talented African American actors and filmmakers, a group of white males has sought to denounce even more...

MoroccanWisdom 10.02.16 5:39pm
Footballer offers "turf on the pitch" defence 0
cinquecento 10.02.16 4:51pm
Conservative Party '100% clean' says Conservative Party commission

The Conservative Party is 'as clean as Mister Muscle's private kitchen', a Conservative Party commission into political ethics has found. The Commission, created to address 'a context of widespread...

Daniel T 10.02.16 4:46pm
Daniel T
Brazilian hat makers in crisis talks. 0
Griffin 10.02.16 4:35pm
Kim Kardashian designated an Area of Outstanding Natural Booty

Reality star Kim Kardashian has today been recognised by the Environment Agency for the significant contribution that her ample posterior makes to the natural landscape. ‘Important features such...

Long Distance Clara 11.02.16 8:50am
Recent Shootings Part Of An Attempt To Establish A Catholic Caliphate In Dublin

More pious terrorism soon ...

Titus 10.02.16 3:50pm
German Police to beat up Syrians to make them 'feel at home' 2
Dun Dunkin 10.02.16 4:51pm
Daniel T
Joan Arma to cease trading.

More later...

virtuallywill 10.02.16 3:32pm
‘Old’ Hampshire votes for Pitt the Elder‏

In surprise twist to the Presidential primaries, voters from Basingstoke to Gosport have resoundingly thrown their support behind the 1st Earl of Chatham. Despite Pitt being absent from frontline...

Wrenfoe 10.02.16 3:26pm
Government introduces minimum height requirement to overcome teacher shortage 0
StanleyMizaru 10.02.16 2:55pm
Cubist exhibition to be sponsored by Oxo 0
sydalg 10.02.16 2:53pm
Greece Offers To Bail Out Deutsche Bank

The concern recently expressed over alleged potential liquidity problems facing the German bank changed to panic when it was revealed last night that Greece had offered to assist the troubled...

Titus 10.02.16 6:18pm
Brexit 'Will Cause Cancer' (Cameron) / 'Will Cure All Known Diseases' (Express)

More well-informed, intelligent debate soon ...

Titus 10.02.16 2:22pm
US Primaries: Americans Face Choice Equivalent To 'Corbyn or Farage?' 0
Titus 10.02.16 2:14pm
Storm Threatens To Return, 'Stronger Than You Can Possibly Imogen' 0
Titus 10.02.16 2:10pm
Transatlantic flight times increased to accommodate longer movies 0
Des and Stan 10.02.16 12:44pm
Des and Stan
'Shit actors' bemoan lack of representation at Oscars

Steven Segal, Dolph Lundgren, Stephen Baldwin, Hayden Christensen and Madonna are all boycotting this years Oscar ceremony, in a stance that shit actors and actresses are under represented in this...

simonjmr 10.02.16 12:18pm
Alien invasion of earth a success due to strike action by the Doctor 1
simonjmr 10.02.16 2:20pm
Oscar Winners to Have Mouths Taped

In a desperate bid to keep the 88th Academy Awards from overrunning, organisers have announced that in conjunction with their "thank yous" scrolling along the bottom of the screen, all Oscar winners...

james_doc 10.02.16 11:17am
Doctors prescribe themselves more money 1
Dun Dunkin 10.02.16 9:54pm