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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Irish hold whip-round for Apple

The Irish Government has pledged 13 billion Euros from its Overseas Aid Fund to help cash-strapped Apple Corp. Prime Minister Enda Kenny has described Apple's plight as 'tragic' and has vowed to tax...

deceangli 31.08.16 2:14pm
Australian immigration is happy after Johnny Depp beats Pistol and Boo to death 0
marlon bando 31.08.16 2:02pm
marlon bando
9 Jp Alzeimers die in floods GM regrets not getting more to the 1st floor 0
marlon bando 31.08.16 1:57pm
marlon bando
Southern Rail to "re-introduce 119 rare trains" back into the wild 1
thackaray 31.08.16 1:53pm
Sir Lupus
IS boss killed in dronestrike keeps salary and gets job at Southern NHS Trust. 2
MADJEZ 31.08.16 1:51pm
Sir Lupus
Chris Brown just doing his 'thang'

The popular rapper and renowned topic of conversation at women’s shelters, has been outrageously targeted by police for doing what he does best – sabotaging his own music career and scaring women...

Wrenfoe 31.08.16 1:51pm
Sir Lupus
Pub where all the jokes happened forced to close

J.D. Wetherspoon has announced the closure of the King's Arms, a historic Victorian hostelry close to Lingfield Park racecourse in Sussex. According to regional director Trevor Lawrence, a series of...

Oxbridge 31.08.16 12:47pm
Midfield Diamond
Pregnant Women Clearly Need Better Protection 0
Jodster 31.08.16 12:45pm
Corbyn applauds TFL's 'Please offer me a seat' initiative

cinquecento 31.08.16 11:36am
Sacked Capita nurse admits setting up assault course for claimants. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 31.08.16 11:01am
Spanking more effective than suppositories

New research suggests that constipation is better treated with spanking than suppositories. A case study of the Isle of Wight village of Whippingham, so called because of its celebrated spanking...

Jodster 31.08.16 10:15am
Wetherspoons introduce blue Please Serve Me badges for the socially inadequate 0
cinquecento 31.08.16 10:07am
EU Remainers huff May at Chequers 0
silly billy scotland 31.08.16 8:47am
silly billy scotland
GPO gets new sorting equipment in attempt to push the envelope. 1
Maverick 31.08.16 8:25am
Theresa May gets her tits out

The Prime Minister Theresa May yesterday offered our cameraman a rare glimpse of the family of blue-tits that have made a home in the nesting-box at the end of her garden...

Prime Mover 31.08.16 8:23am
Cameron defends £50,000 Thatcher head / pig body "sculpture" leaving present

David Cameron today was embroiled in another storm over his parting expenses. It has come to public attention that he commissioned a £50,000 "sculpture" of a latex pig complete with a Margaret...

SimonJJames 31.08.16 8:21am
Emergency services called to deal with 'fluffy dice' incident

Emergency services were called to the Bell and Talbot car park in Bridgnorth, Shropshire on the hottest day of the year after a member of the public reported seeing a pair of fluffy dice locked...

Gerontius 31.08.16 7:13am
Alien signal detected emanating from Calais. 0
Maverick 31.08.16 12:23am
Theresa May does a line of coke

The Prime Minister Theresa May let her hair down over the weekend by participating in a Coca-Cola drinking competition, where, unfortunately, she failed to be the first to drink the complete contents...

Prime Mover 30.08.16 10:30pm
Prime Mover
Paralympics : Your questions answered

As the Rio Paralympics are all set to start, your questions answered - [i]Q: When watching the olympics I liked to swear profusely at athletes as they race : is there a list of socially acceptable...

FlashArry 30.08.16 8:43pm
Oompa Loompas speak out about abuse at hands or 'cruel confectioner'

Diminutive factory workers for the Wonka confectionary brand have spoken out about dangerous working conditions and cruel treatment at the hands of Willy Wonka in the wake of the sweet maker's death....

Adrian Bamforth 30.08.16 8:38pm
Adrian Bamforth
Cameron pays pig £8.4m in 'hush money'

The UK's outgoing Prime Minister is accused of authorising millions of pounds in severance for special advisors and a collection of 'saucy livestock'. Accounts reveal pay-rises of up to 24% were...

Wrenfoe 30.08.16 8:37pm
Apple blames €13bn tax shortfall on iOS 9 bug

Apple, the world’s largest information technology company, has blamed an alleged €13bn tax shortfall on a bug in its latest operating system. After a 3 year investigation, the European Commission...

jonessgl 30.08.16 7:46pm
Wonka kids pay tribute to Gene Wilder: "He never touched me in my special place" 0
thackaray 30.08.16 7:09pm
Road Rage video shows man "failing" to take opportunity to knock out Jeremy Vine 0
thackaray 30.08.16 6:42pm
Reading Festival a Massive Disappointment, complain Librarians 9
Jodster 30.08.16 5:38pm
farmer giles
TV audiences ‘want more cunt jokes’ says BBC

With gags about ‘clitoris allsorts’, ‘Vulva estate cars’ and Grace Brothers asking for more ‘female ejaculations during staff meetings,’ the new series of Are You Being Served shows...

nickb 30.08.16 5:30pm
Nepal ban Indian climbers who claim to have set up corner shop on Everest

The Nepalese authorities have banned two Indian climbers who claim to have climbed Everest and set up a shop. "The photos are obviously fake," said one expert, who added that the other postcards...

throngsman 30.08.16 5:19pm
Rooney to lead England football team to further defeat until at least 2018.

More useless leadership to follow...

MADJEZ 30.08.16 5:11pm
Newsbiscuit to be re-branded as Torybiscuit or Titusbiscuit.

Too many tired old anti-Labour/anti-Corbyn slurs.I'm happy to read a range of contributions but feel that previous originality has deteriorated into too much partisan propaganda. Don't expect...

paulo 30.08.16 4:35pm
Adrian Bamforth