The NewsBiscuit Writers' Room
Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten
Everything on these pages has been submitted by readers of the site and appears here unedited. Potential front page stories as well as one-liners for the ticker bar are welcome, so if you would like to write for NewsBiscuit please post your article on this submission board and then attempt to give yourself maximum votes over and over again. The most prolific and successful contributors will be considered for the coveted title of 'Writer of the Month'.
Check the following links for info: Guidelines for writers, Writer of the Month, Help with posting.
Topic — Add New » | Comments | Votes | Author | Last Comment |
---|---|---|---|---|
Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room | 0 | Nice Admin Lady | 02.12.13 11:19pm Nice Admin Lady |
|
Typically, EU Responds To Vaccine Delays By Introducing Additional Bureaucracy More (bureaucracy, that is, probably not vaccine) later. '[i]Virus, Now Required To Fill In Even More Forms Before Being Allowed To Infect Anyone, Gives Up & Goes Away.[/i]' ... |
0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Titus | 27.01.21 1:46pm Titus |
EUreaucrats Stand By Breeding Tanks Of Vaccine Micro-Organisms & Shout 'Faster!' | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Titus | 27.01.21 1:37pm Titus |
'Plymouth Hoe definitely a down-the-docks prostitute,' confirms Mark Zuckerberg | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
SteveB | 27.01.21 1:27pm SteveB |
Teenager’s sock canonised by Vatican Every sperm is sacred . . ... |
1 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
deceangli | 27.01.21 1:24pm SteveB |
Boris’s quarantine plans thwarted by hotels suddenly full of incontinent tramps Faced with the prospect of becoming non-petting zoos for aggrieved travellers with as much self-awareness as a gregarious Covid particle surfing the crest of a spit-flecked “BUT I’M EXEMPT!”... |
2 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Filthy Rich | 27.01.21 1:22pm SteveB |
Pope Condemns Squirrel Contraceptives: 'Just Take their Nuts Away' Hat-tip to Wren & actually posted on behalf of Al: http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=153231 ... |
0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Titus | 27.01.21 1:14pm Titus |
HS2 Plans To Hire Protesters As Tunnel-Building Contractors | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Titus | 27.01.21 1:10pm Titus |
Boris Johnson 'deeply sorry' so many voters thought he was Benny Hill | 1 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
SteveB | 27.01.21 12:57pm Al OPecia |
Essential training module questions for Vaccinators 1. What should you do if you hear a continuously sounding fire alarm?, A) evacuate the building immediately, B) stay put, it will probably be a test, C) fetch marshmallows, stat., D) Archie... |
6 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Ironduke | 27.01.21 12:52pm Ironduke |
Second jab may be delayed until UK re-joins EU. More soon. | 2 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Al OPecia | 27.01.21 12:48pm MADJEZ |
Serial killer ‘misused apostrophes’ Colin the Cannibal, Swindon’s most notorious serial killer, has had his sentence doubled following forensic examination of his gloating notes to police. “The man’s an animal” said... |
1 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
deceangli | 27.01.21 12:44pm Filthy Rich |
Boohoo rebrands Debenhams Debut ‘A Little Mum Cry and Pelvic Floor Clench’ | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Filthy Rich | 27.01.21 12:32pm Filthy Rich |
Devout Churchgoers Dismay As Religious Leaders Condemn Covid As A Bad Thing 'We had been all been comforted and reassured by the confident belief that this plague was part of God's Great Plan and was a punishment for our sinfulness, which we could only overcome by... |
1 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Titus | 27.01.21 12:32pm Filthy Rich |
Squirrel oral contraceptive less fiddly than squirrel condoms More later... |
6 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Wrenfoe | 27.01.21 12:30pm Filthy Rich |
Boris makes heartfelt non-apology for being Boris During his 4593rd Downing Street press conference, PM and Finger Puppet in Chief for the military wing of the Tory party, Boris Johnson, was forced into making a new non-apology. The non-apology,... |
1 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
oshaughnessy | 27.01.21 12:28pm Filthy Rich |
Oh, My Old Man's a Keyworker Now here's a little story, About a front-line nurse, Ever since Covid struck, His life got noticeably worse Some people make a fortune, Others earn a mint, My old man don't earn much, In fact... |
5 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Al OPecia | 27.01.21 12:26pm Filthy Rich |
Quarantine Airbnb not so successful While the Government introduces Quarantine Hotels, plans to put potentially ill travellers in your spare bedroom have been less than popular. Airbnb plans to offer private lodgings for any... |
1 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Wrenfoe | 27.01.21 12:25pm Filthy Rich |
Equity fury as struggling actors told to improvise | 6 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Myke | 27.01.21 12:23pm Filthy Rich |
Scheme to help unemployed pirates ‘patchy at best’ admits government. | 1 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Myke | 27.01.21 12:19pm Filthy Rich |
Fronted adverbials declare independence The Fronted Adverbials Liberation Front (motto: Before Long, We Will Overcome) has declared independence from the United Kingdom in a move which has surprised civil servants and really pissed off the... |
11 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
deceangli | 27.01.21 12:17pm Filthy Rich |
Squirrels' nuts targeted | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
SteveB | 27.01.21 12:09pm SteveB |
Grey Squirrels accuse Red Squirrels of attempted genocide | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Sinnick | 27.01.21 12:01pm Sinnick |
Four Horsemen rebrand as Chinese, Kentish, Brazilian, and South African Covids | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Mick Turate | 27.01.21 11:52am Mick Turate |
Things you could do with 100k deaths 1. Invade Belgium and steal all the chocolate, 2. Put half of them in German uniforms and half in British, then recreate the first day of the Somme, 3. Build a railway to Spain... |
4 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
deceangli | 27.01.21 11:41am SteveB |
Media outlet seduces with lies then subverts with facts | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
SteveB | 27.01.21 11:20am SteveB |
Colours My Be 'Slightly Less Vivid' As Chelsea Flower Show Moved To December | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Titus | 27.01.21 11:18am Titus |
Boris channels spirit of Frank Spencer in 'doing all he can' Caretaker Prime Minister Boris Johnson has been speaking about his 'passion' for the character of Frank Spencer. "I like to wear a beret in private and blow stuff up", he told journalists. "Then I... |
2 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
deceangli | 27.01.21 10:57am deceangli |
Facebook to become a peer-reviewed journal Magdalena Skipper, Editor of Nature, can only dream of Facebook’s membership figures. The only real difference between Facebook and more mainstream science journals like Nature or the British... |
2 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
deceangli | 27.01.21 10:42am Titus |
Boris Johnson deeply sorry that people think he's useless. | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Mick Turate | 27.01.21 9:39am Mick Turate |
Government reduces UK’s climate footprint to a size 9 and a half | 0 | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
oshaughnessy | 27.01.21 9:14am oshaughnessy |
New Topic in this Forum
You must log in to post.