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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Vice Presidential Office to be replaced by Apprenticeship

Washington―If elected President of the United States, Donald Trump will abstain from appointing a vice-president and instead hire an “apprentice”, it has been announced. Mr. Trump justified...

Daniel T 07.02.16 9:24am
Daniel T
North Korea fails to launch monkey into space

North Korean rocket scientists have gone into hiding after failing to launch their glorious leader Kim Jong-un into space. The Supreme leader, affectionately known as the Great Chimp, was left...

Dick Everyman 07.02.16 9:16am
Dick Everyman
British research team permitted to edit DNA of juvenile offenders

This week, the UK Secretary of State for Justice, Michael Gove, gave his first approval to use a gene-editing tool on 10 to 17 year-old criminals . Researchers at the Francis Crick Institute will...

jonessgl 07.02.16 1:41am
Learning from Putin, Cameron's 70,000 Syrian fighters are really British troops 0
Dun Dunkin 06.02.16 10:33pm
Dun Dunkin
Cameron goes on European Grand Tour 0
Dun Dunkin 06.02.16 9:53pm
Dun Dunkin
Bill Clinton Hospitalized Following Coyote Attack, Mrs. Clinton Held For Questio

February 6th, 2016, Chappaqua, NEW YORK- Bill Clinton was rushed to an area hospital Friday after a near fatal, early morning coyote attack reports the Chappaqua Tribune Times Daily Globe Gazette. ...

Takos1021 06.02.16 9:45pm
Guernsey "too islamophobic for refugees"

"If only they'd been Nazis", says local...

apepper 06.02.16 9:34pm
Warnings that the bathroom is 'the most dangerous room in a house' 1
Dun Dunkin 07.02.16 7:47am
Al OPecia
Burglars in Sible Hedingham launch Pistorious tribute act. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 06.02.16 6:28pm
Al OPecia
'I'm not dead and never sang with Earth, Wind and Fire,' claims Michael Caine 0
medici2471 06.02.16 6:24pm
Norfolk beach debris 'The size of Whales' 3
JETFAB 07.02.16 7:52am
Al OPecia
Apartment block 'Made in Taiwan' 0
medici2471 06.02.16 2:53pm
World's oldest spoil sport puts longevity down to clean living

Victor Grevitt of Crouch End was 117 last week. Asked the obvious question about the secret of his long life, journalists were disappointed to be told that he had never drunk alcohol or smoked...

beau-jolly 07.02.16 7:48am
Al OPecia
Earth Wind Fire and Theft insurance policies expire. 4
nickb 07.02.16 7:46am
Al OPecia
Threat of Elton John causes improved train departure punctuality 0
Adrian Bamforth 06.02.16 1:36pm
Adrian Bamforth
Krishnas 30% more popular after introducing guitar solos to street preaching

Previous tourist attraction the Hare Krishnas have experienced a 30% increase in popularity after adding guitar solos to their daily street preaching parades, a move that many feel has finally...

Lang 07.02.16 8:28am
Moon Astronaut fakes death. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 06.02.16 12:29pm
Al OPecia
Norfolk council may impose parking fine on next beached whale

Following the second beaching of a whale on their shores, Norfolk County Council chiefs have announced their intention to fine the next whale that chooses to strand itself on any of their beaches to...

Stan and Des 06.02.16 12:00pm
Stan and Des
Solar powered drone goes on and on for hours. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 06.02.16 5:00pm
North Korea brings forward fake satellite launch

North Korea has brought the pretend launching of a satellite. They'd originally said they would claim the launch in 2 weeks time but following Kim Jong-Un's early triumph on an online Photoshop...

apepper 07.02.16 7:50am
Al OPecia
Sport: 2018 Tour de France to take place in Australia

PARIS, NSW—The 2018 Tour de France is to take place in Australia, it has been announced. The famous bike race will start from Melbourne on 1 July and traverse the vast expanses of the...

Daniel T 06.02.16 11:01am
Daniel T
Another fake Moon lander dies

NASA continues to refuse to admit the truth even today. “No human has ever landed on the Moon alive then taken off from the Moon alive and landed back on Earth alive” said moonlander sceptic...

farmer giles 06.02.16 9:10am
Al OPecia
'Wrong kind of trees boost global warming'.

Network Rail vindicated by the whole 'wrong kind of trees' thing...

deskpilot3 07.02.16 7:54am
Al OPecia
Volkswagen to publish annual accounts 'to clear the air'.

More sins of emission soon...

deskpilot3 07.02.16 7:56am
Al OPecia
Isis teaches Twitter jihadis to indoctrine in 140 characters or less.

Or fewer. No, less. Er, fewer. Oh sod it, I don't know...

deskpilot3 05.02.16 11:27pm
'Queen of Snapchat' disappears from view after briefly being on display 1
Mandy Lifeboat 07.02.16 7:55am
Al OPecia
Celebrity big brother

CBB 2016 finalist to be arbitrarily detained in the house for crimes against entertainment...

Augustus_the_cat 05.02.16 9:29pm
Lord Lucan death certificate goes missing

Lord Lucan's death certificate has been reported as missing. Police are appealing for witnesses...

Augustus_the_cat 06.02.16 2:46pm
Burial, Wind or Crem ? 0
Sinnick 05.02.16 8:57pm
Victoria Wood evacuated as unexploded WWII sketch discovered 0
throngsman 05.02.16 8:38pm