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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Britain comes last in European elections with nil points.

Farrago soon...

0
Squudge 26.05.19 7:35pm
Squudge
May resigns. Cable resigns. Corbyn misses the point, again 11
throngsman 26.05.19 7:33pm
Squudge
Who next? Grayling? What a jamboree of arseholes, says electorate.

more soon....

0
Squudge 26.05.19 7:31pm
Squudge
Almost Everyone Unsure Why We’ve Got Spring Bank Holiday

Almost everyone is unsure what the justification for Spring Bank Holiday is but no one is mentioning it in case it’s an administrative error and by bringing it to the attention of the bankers it...

4
SarahTipper 26.05.19 7:27pm
Chipchase
Further bungling sees Grayling excluded from Tory leadership race

It’s understood that Secretary of State for Incompetence, Chris Grayling, has missed the opportunity of joining almost everyone else in the Conservative Parliamentary Party and that consequently...

3
Chipchase 26.05.19 6:26pm
Chipchase
Cameron and May to set up business partnership 'Scarper & Botchit' 1
Crayon 26.05.19 6:12pm
SarahTipper
Most People Going to Garden Centres Unaware They Sell Plants

Most people visiting their local garden centre this Spring Bank Holiday were unaware they sold plants it has emerged. CCTV footage showed that no-one was in the outside bit apart from two staff...

0
SarahTipper 26.05.19 6:11pm
SarahTipper
'Stupid' Euro-election results reflect badly on voters, say politicians.

More pathetic excuses soon...

0
deskpilot3 26.05.19 6:08pm
deskpilot3
Hundreds of UK citizens apply for summer job in Strassburg

A few days early, but thought I'd put my pole in the sand now...

3
throngsman 26.05.19 5:24pm
Newsdesk
Boris polishes best clown shoes and dons favourite squirty-buttonhole in PM bid 6
Dick Everyman 26.05.19 5:10pm
deskpilot3
UK population survives without leadership. More soon. 4
Newsdesk 26.05.19 5:08pm
Newsdesk
Gove accuses Gove of treachery for trying to overturn 2016 leadership election

Michael Gove has launched a vicious attack on Michael Gove after he announced he was attempting to overturn the 2016 Tory leadership election result by not only supporting a second election, but...

4
apepper 26.05.19 5:06pm
Sir Lupus
Theresa May withdraws her resignation. 0
Mick Turate 26.05.19 4:56pm
Mick Turate
Post Brexit Parish Councils to be run by Village Idiots. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 26.05.19 3:15pm
Newsdesk
Diane Abbott to stand in during Rachel Riley's maternity leave 1
Guido Drapatolli 26.05.19 3:07pm
Crayon
Pro-Brexit Transport Minister Chris Grayling reroutes M20 to Beachy Head 1
Crayon 26.05.19 1:09pm
Newsdesk
Monks and nuns advised to remove habits when shopping in Finchley.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-48411735...

0
Newsdesk 26.05.19 12:46pm
Newsdesk
BBC election rules 'prevent Corporation from describing Boris as cunt'

‘We won’t be allowed to refer to Boris as a lying philandering racist cunt with a poor grasp of political detail and an absence of integrity or statesmanship,’ explained BBC Head of Policy Mike...

0
nickb 26.05.19 12:12pm
nickb
Ireland votes yes to deciminalise Impure Thoughts 2
tonymc81 26.05.19 12:04pm
Newsdesk
Egyptian construction company guilty of running a pyramid scheme. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 25.05.19 7:24pm
dominic_mcg
Pop-up Dignitas opens on Everest 0
Crayon 25.05.19 1:56pm
Crayon
Naomi Wolf's next book is on "a ghastly legacy of piss-poor historical research" 0
Al OPecia 25.05.19 12:31pm
Al OPecia
Tories united as all MPs agree to put their names forward in leadership bid.

Tories united as all MPs agree to put their names forward in leadership bid...

0
4crosses 25.05.19 12:06pm
4crosses
10 thermostats that even the manufacturers can't program 0
Dumbnews 25.05.19 11:41am
Dumbnews
Emperor confirms he bought his new clothes just over the imaginary Irish border 0
tonymc81 25.05.19 10:57am
tonymc81
Congestion on Everest at an all time high 1
Dick Everyman 25.05.19 10:52am
Newsdesk
0.27% of electorate choosing next PM definitely 'will of the people' say Tories

Following Theresa May's resignation, Tory Party members who represent just 0.27% of the overall electorate, will now select Britain's new Prime Minister. With an average age of fifty-seven, but with...

1
Chipchase 25.05.19 10:40am
tonymc81
Boris makes his first move

With the decision as to who is our next Prime Minister resting with the wider Conservative party, Boris Johnson has fired his first shots across the bow of his competition., In a letter to be sent...

0
tonymc81 25.05.19 10:30am
tonymc81
British Steel to build monument to Theresa May if they can afford some steel 0
Dick Everyman 25.05.19 9:50am
Dick Everyman
A milkshaken Farage says "Thatcher saw this coming". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 25.05.19 7:01am
Al OPecia