Topic — Add New » Comments Votes Author Last Comment
Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Wrong campaign announced as winner of EU referendum

In an embarrassing mix-up, the Electoral Commission has confirmed that Remain actually won the EU referendum after the wrong name was announced on the night. Jenny Watson, chief counting officer for...

3
The Paper Ostrich 27.02.17 1:46pm
Wrenfoe
government claims welfare safety net still strong, 'just smaller'

With a decision to exclude 'namby-pamby' welfare claimants who 'just need their bumps straightening' the government has denied it's failing those with mental health problems. 'It's not like we're...

2
throngsman 27.02.17 1:45pm
Wrenfoe
‘Stubborn stain’ just principled

A particularly tenacious furniture stain has refused to change in the face of irrefutable scientific evidence – sticking to the belief that prisons work, global warming is a myth and everything is...

0
Wrenfoe 27.02.17 1:41pm
Wrenfoe
Man who lost to Ed Miliband, now an expert on winning

With the sage advice of someone with his 'd$ck caught in his zipper', David Miliband has stepped forward to advise the Labour Party, he abandoned, on where they are going astray. Mr. Miliband was at...

6
Wrenfoe 27.02.17 11:26am
beau-jolly
La La Land confirmed as winner of Stoke by-election

La La Land confirmed as winner of Stoke by-election...

1
Duncan Biscuit 27.02.17 11:22am
Iroquois Pliskin
Scientists infer 8 Lib Dems from careful observation

Something about telescopes, laboratory conditions, time dilation...

0
Iroquois Pliskin 27.02.17 11:17am
Iroquois Pliskin
New Oscars category - Best Performance of "No, I'm glad the other guys won"

Following the debacle at the 2017 Oscars ceremony, with La La Land mistakenly being awarded Best Picture before it emerged that Moonlight had actually won, it has been decided that future ceremonies...

0
YaBasta 27.02.17 10:45am
YaBasta
Corbyn says he'd fall on his sword - except for state of NHS

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has said he'd be prepared to fall on his sword - but only if the NHS was in a better state. In a speech to the Scottish Labour Party conference in Perth, Mr Corbyn said...

1
roybland 27.02.17 9:39am
deceangli
Nuttall pledge to have 'six more goes' at becoming an MP

UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has promised his party that he is set to have six more attempts at becoming an MP. 'Following in the footsteps of Nigel,' Mr Nuttall told supporters,' I'm up for six more...

0
roybland 27.02.17 9:31am
roybland
Concern among women as man flu crosses the species barrier 1
Smart Alex 27.02.17 9:29am
deceangli
Corbyn urges party to embrace Nokia 3310 future

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has urged party faithful to embrace a 'Nokia 3310' future. In a rousing speech yesterday to the Scottish Labour Party Conference in Perth, he said that just as Nokia...

0
roybland 27.02.17 9:22am
roybland
Nokia Announce Brilliant New Phone 'With Cord, So You Can't Lose It' 0
Titus 27.02.17 8:58am
Titus
Swimming pool turd insists he is not to blame for humiliating defeat

A turd found floating in a swimming pool in Cumbria insists he is not to blame for turning people away from swimming in the pool. The 67 year old turd said he was disappointed with the negative...

4
Gerontius 27.02.17 8:43am
cinquecento
Woman paid $90 to kill Kim Jong-nam makes North Korean rich list. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 27.02.17 8:41am
deceangli
New series of Ant and Dec's takeaway puts the turd back into Saturdays 2
Smart Alex 27.02.17 8:40am
deceangli
New DNA evidence confirms that Marley did, in fact, shoot deputy.

A breakthrough in forensic science has enabled Trenchtown CID to finally solve the decade’s long mystery over who shot the deputy. Flamboyant calypso singer, Bob Marley, was jailed in 1973 for...

2
poopscooper 27.02.17 8:38am
deceangli
Scientists claim Mountain Rescue teams "ineffectual" at saving mountains

Noting that the Earth is at the end of an interglacial period that has seen the creation of many major mountains such as Mount Everest, named after the double glazing company, Mount Snowden, named...

3
throngsman 27.02.17 8:37am
deceangli
Couple plan 'holiday of a lifetime' outside their car

With Spring in the air, Brenda (68) and Bert (69) Simmons are preparing for what will be for them the holiday of a lifetime. 'We usually get in the car and drive down to the beach car park,'...

6
roybland 27.02.17 8:36am
deceangli
Oscar Ceremony Wins 'Best Script' Award With Brilliant Plot Twist

More and more and more for ever, on this one. Such as 'Oscar Judges Confirm Victories For Trump, Brexit, Corbyn and Nuttall' or 'Greece Bails Out German Economy After Audit By PwC'...

0
Titus 27.02.17 8:35am
Titus
Corbyn 'emotional' as tragic Kaufman death offers 100% unloseable by election 0
cinquecento 27.02.17 8:35am
cinquecento
Aardman's 'The Wrong Film' wins oscar. 0
No Beard 27.02.17 8:04am
No Beard
Trump Condemns Fake Oscars

[Hope I've got this right at last] ...

0
Titus 27.02.17 7:58am
Titus
'BackupYourBrain' Writer Mistakenly Declared NewsBiscuit WOM At Oscars 0
Titus 27.02.17 7:42am
Titus
Oscar Award Judging Team Revealed To Be Piss-Taking NewsBiscuit Writers 0
Titus 27.02.17 7:37am
Titus
Police thought tasered pensioner had a 'mobile missile launcher'

85 year old pensioner Ivy Grimshaw was tasered by Manchester police earlier today as she left the Arndale Centre. A spokesman said that the police unit had mistaken Mrs Grimshaw's walking frame for a...

3
poopscooper 27.02.17 7:32am
Titus
Environmentalists Protest Outside Hell Over Pollution From Eternal Flames

'It may be Hell' said Anne Dringer, spokesperson for the People's Collective For A Sustainable Afterworld 'but that is no excuse for not caring about the environment. Eternity is a long time, and...

1
Titus 26.02.17 11:51pm
Titus
Scafell Pike chosen as new call-in centre for disability benefits claimants 0
George Freeman 26.02.17 11:19pm
George Freeman
Lord Heseltine Offers To Be More Effective Opposition Than Entire Labour Party 1
Titus 26.02.17 11:05pm
deskpilot3
Tinseltown Luvvies Accuses Politicians Of Living In A Fictional Fantasy Land 1
Titus 26.02.17 9:56pm
Maverick
Germans Blacking Up for Personal Safety

Recently published statistics show that less than ten attacks were made daily against immigrants in Germany during 2016. This compares favourably with the latest available crime statistics for the...

0
JPost 26.02.17 8:52pm
JPost