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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 8 months
Putin " We forgot there was a ceasefire" 0
Underconstruction 55 seconds
Rotherham Zoo retracts statement re its 6 year old panda being pregnant 0
Underconstruction 1 minute
Brad Pitt and Angeline Jolie to Divorce 0
SimonJJames 3 minutes

In shock news following on from 'Brangelina's' 23rd August wedding, they are now to divorce, effective immediately. It is thought that they met for the first time prior to the ceremony on Saturday...

Every American child's dream present list... 0
Underconstruction 7 minutes

Dear Santa, Can you take a hint? On the twelfth day of Christmas,, My parents gave to me, Twelve, oozis oozing, Eleven Magnums firing,, Ten Ak's spitting,, Nine glocks a glocking,, Eight...

Death Cab For Cutie Cancel Rotherham Gig. 0
JETFAB 15 minutes
Tiny Beds Found Inside Giant Luxury Wasp Nest 0
SimonJJames 17 minutes

Following on from the news of a 6 foot wasp nest in an attic in Oxfordshire and the colonised bedroom, it has been found that wasps are now fashioning tiny beds for these new giant luxury abodes....

Humanitarian aid arrives in Ukraine in massive tanks 0
Adrian Bamforth 20 minutes

Despite objections from the givernment in Kiev, who protested that any aid should be accompanied by the Red Cross, the Russian humanitarian mission pressed on regardless as tanks with gun-turrets...

Doctors to tell patients "Don't be depressed, its just cancer" 0
Underconstruction 25 minutes
'Yewtree' detectives uncover group letter to 'Jihad will Fix It' 0
Underconstruction 27 minutes
1400 Rotherham girls to be stoned to death for having under-age sex 7
beckfordburger 30 minutes
looney named new England captain 0
Dun Dunkin 32 minutes
New Bogeyman- Parents say to Children "Be Good or We'll put you in a Taxi" 2
Dun Dunkin 35 minutes
'Wasps could be used to protect children in Rochdale' says May 3
Gerontius 1 hour

Wasps found in a bedroom in Winchester could be sent to Rochdale to help protect vulnerable children from the towns grooming gangs says Home Secretary Theresa May, Rochdale parents were delighted...

5000 Winchester wasps forced to pay bedroom tax. 5
Ted King 1 hour
Cameron calls for calm in the worsening Bake Off Conflict 3
Squudge 1 hour

The UN is calling for air-strikes to intervene after Diana Beard, a 69 year-old WI activist from Shropshire, was filmed taking a bearded combatant's ice-cream out of the freezer during the Great...

Einstein's debt to cricket revealed by Janji's just-released memoirs 3
Jim Garner 2 hours

KATHIAWAR, INDIA — The scientific world is abuzz with news recently released here that shows Albert Einstein formulated his Special Theory of Relativity only after a discussion about cricket. ...

England fans shocked as millionaire England players back Cook as captain 3
AReader 2 hours

England fans were shocked and bewildered as Alastair Cook's captaincy was backed to the hilt by members of the England team, all of whom depended on Cook's sayso to retain million pound a year...

Bake Off contestant cries foul after cake left out in the rain 4
harrypalmer 2 hours

Great British Bake Off contestant Ian Watters has been thrown off the show after he claimed that a fellow contestant deliberately sabotaged a Baked Alaska he had prepared for the showstopper...

Scandal Latest: Ordinance Survey Still Unwilling to put Rotherham on the Map. 0
IABP 2 2 hours

"We don't see any reason now or in the future to pinpoint exactly where Rotherham is."...

Remake of Taxi Driver To be Filmed in Rotherham 0
Dun Dunkin 3 hours

This time its the driver whose bad...

13yr Girl Admited She Wants to have Sex with Boyfriend's Cousins and Uncles 0
Dun Dunkin 3 hours

said the Judge who saw nothing wrong...

Both Cats And Pigeons Upset By Carswell Defection To UKIP 0
Titus 3 hours

More and more later ...

Ray Cooney named as new England captain 0
apepper 3 hours

The FA has denied confusion after naming 82 year old playwright Ray Cooney as England football captain...

Criminals reject calls for punishment 0
apepper 3 hours

Rotherham criminals are claiming that calls for them to be punished is a witch hunt. Mr N. Wilkins, of Keep-yer-nose-awt Terrace, said; "This is a completely unwarranted intrusion into my business....

Royal Family cyborg breakthrough - Duke of Edinburgh now redundant. 0
NewBiscuit 3 hours

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/75736000/jpg/_75736107_charles.jpg, (image from BBC) Advances in cybernetics have always been applied first to the British royal family, traditionally a...

Rotherham mini cab companies forced to re-write drivers' job description 0
RobArmstrong 3 hours

In a surprising after shock from the report on abuse of children in Rotherham, it emerged today that all mini cab companies in Rotherham were having to urgently revisit both their recruitment...

After Shooting Her US Instructor, CIA Send 9YO Girl To Be Trained By ISIS 0
Titus 3 hours

Or perhaps 'Terrified ISIS Firearms Instructors Refuse To Train 9-Year-Old Girl Sent to Them By CIA'...

Winchester Woman Acused Of Hoarding Wasps In Order To Dodge 'Unused Bedroom' Tax 0
Titus 4 hours

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-28949601 And hat-tip to Ted King...

Rotherham corner shops fear slump in sale of cigarettes and cheap vodka 0
beckfordburger 4 hours
EU to limit the 'vast emptiness of space' by 2017 9
Kevin the Swan 4 hours

Buoyed by recent success in banning sale or importing of all useful vacuum cleaners from September 2014, EU leaders are setting their sights higher from 2017. Current ruling will render the average...