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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Starbucks' 'Customise your drinks' station essentially just milk and sugar

The invitation to coffee drinkers to customise their own drinks at Starbucks is really just some sachets of sugar and 2 different kinds of milk, admitted managers at the global giant today. The...

1
chrisf 25.07.17 12:51pm
thatwasbeast
Ed Sheeran playing consistently for 24 hours not a charity event confirm Radio 1

A radio 1 listener has asked to be refunded after mistakenly pledging money to what he believed to be a charity event. Daniel James of Eastbourne had switched the radio on for a bit of background...

0
NaffLaff 25.07.17 11:19am
NaffLaff
Parent fears Chicken Nuggets could be masking low grade chicken

A group of East London mums will march to Downing Street next week, where they will hand over a petition which demands that existing standards are maintained in relation to the chicken used to make...

0
Underconstruction 25.07.17 10:59am
Underconstruction
Northerners to be given HS2 viewing gallery

A viewing gallery the size of a football stadium is to erected near Liverpool to allow the manual workers of the industrial north and their families, to view approaching high-speed electrified trains...

0
Underconstruction 25.07.17 10:37am
Underconstruction
91-year-old beauty queen smashes it in the bathing machine round. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 25.07.17 10:27am
dominic_mcg
Love Island breaks ITV2 record as audience hits 37. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 25.07.17 10:10am
dominic_mcg
Chocolate bars aren’t smaller, we’re just fatter

Manufacturers have dismissed claims that confectionery favourites have shrunk, explaining that anything would look small in our ‘big fat, sausage fingers’. The Office for National Statistics...

2
Wrenfoe 25.07.17 10:06am
Underconstruction
Fox puts 'Chlorination Chicken' on the menu 5
DavidH 25.07.17 9:31am
chrisf
Cash only in Buffet Car because f*ck you

YOU must scrabble around in the fetid depths of your rucksack for ancient coinage if you want to eat or drink on the train - and [i]f*ck you[/i], it has emerged. The announcement which came came two...

1
thatwasbeast 25.07.17 9:31am
jonessgl
In response to 30,000 unfilled NHS jobs: patients recruited to cure themselves 0
DavidH 25.07.17 9:01am
DavidH
Mad cows plot revenge if welfare standards fall 0
maxine jones 25.07.17 8:38am
maxine jones
Public Sector Workers demand their pay be negotiated by BBC stars' agents. 2
Al OPecia 25.07.17 8:13am
DavidH
Police warn criminals could hack your dog 3
DavidH 25.07.17 8:12am
DavidH
Time, not materials, 'raises happiness' admit Rolex 0
DavidH 25.07.17 8:10am
DavidH
Fox claims everyone else is obsessed with chickens 0
Underconstruction 25.07.17 6:26am
Underconstruction
Furious BBC women demand reduction in thigh gap.

A number of prominent BBC female presenters have demanded parity with their male counterparts when it comes to the distance between the tops of their thighs. The women have sent an angry letter to...

0
Jonny Shlep 25.07.17 6:11am
Jonny Shlep
Weather Presenters' pay to be based on 'wankability' factor 2
Underconstruction 24.07.17 11:30pm
MADJEZ
Parents Of Handicapped Child Demand That He Be Used For Medical Experiments 1
Titus 24.07.17 11:27pm
The Rt Rev Bishop of Rome
Royal Princes speak warmly of their mother's love of cock.

. we'll see it on Channel 5, just give it time., More soon...

0
MADJEZ 24.07.17 11:23pm
MADJEZ
Russia offers UK chlorinated Chechens 0
Smart Alex 24.07.17 10:13pm
Smart Alex
Student debt is ‘character building’

According to the tabloids, owing £90,000 before you have left home now tops Maslow's hierarchy of needs – just above feeling bloated, spam email and hangnail. University students need to stop...

2
Wrenfoe 24.07.17 9:51pm
Al OPecia
Headline writers 'in total pun exhaustion' after Fox and chicken story 1
cinquecento 24.07.17 9:23pm
Nob Lorry Rug-muncher
End of ‘Paint’ program signals death of Soviet Nonconformist Art

Anonymous graffiti and digital artist ‘Microsoft’ has said he no longer plans to work through the medium of satirical street art and Ctrl + V. Know for his subversive epigrams of post-Stalinist...

9
Wrenfoe 24.07.17 9:14pm
Nob Lorry Rug-muncher
Meteorologist admits to making it up as he goes along

A meteorologist has come out this afternoon and finally admitted to the public how he and his colleagues mostly make it up as they go along. While some assumed being a meteorologist was a technical...

0
NaffLaff 24.07.17 9:00pm
NaffLaff
Political shrinkflation - policies 15% more useless than they used to be. 0
deskpilot3 24.07.17 8:31pm
deskpilot3
BBC 4 Launch 'Fondness Allotment' 0
DavidH 24.07.17 7:47pm
DavidH
Britons celebrate their lax passport laws after Froome's Tour De France win.

The nation rejoiced after yet another 'British' sporting triumph as Kenyan Chris Froome sealed his fourth win in the classic cycling race. We have a long tradition of ignoring local talent in favour...

5
MADJEZ 24.07.17 5:33pm
Nob Lorry Rug-muncher
Google Street update to include back teeth 0
DavidH 24.07.17 5:30pm
DavidH
Tesco launch same-day deliveries with Uber and Deliveroo called Scoober Doo 0
DavidH 24.07.17 5:29pm
DavidH
Millions of viewers turn to women's cricket after their world cup win 0
Nob Lorry Rug-muncher 24.07.17 5:13pm
Nob Lorry Rug-muncher