The NewsBiscuit Writers' Room
Everything on these pages has been submitted by readers of the site and appears here unedited. Potential front page stories as well as one-liners for the ticker bar are welcome, so if you would like to write for NewsBiscuit please post your article on this submission board and then attempt to give yourself maximum votes over and over again. The most prolific and successful contributors will be considered for the coveted title of 'Writer of the Month'.
|Topic — Add New »||Comments||Votes||Author||Freshness|
|Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room||0||Nice Admin Lady||1 year|
|FIFA agrees to release corruption report details 'to highest bidder'||3||
|Party of teachers finally settles restaurant bill from 2013 Christmas lunch||0||
A group of teachers has agreed how to allocate the bill from their 2013 Christmas lunch, just in time to book into the same restaurant for their 2014 event. ‘I know it sounds like a small sum to...
|New feminist game invented. 'Snog, marry or wait 20 years and accuse of rape."||6||
Or even better all three...
|Every object to include a camera by 2020||6||
EU commissioners have vowed to outlaw the practice of manufacturing objects without inbuilt cameras. ‘What if a cretin wants to take a selfie with a stapler?’ asked a spokesman. ‘Or a dildo?...
|Kim Jong Un cuts himself shaving, head deflates with a bang||0||
|Demonisation of Enoch Powell complete. Kids believe he was same as Hitler||18||
Patriot, war-hero, MP, democrat, family man, given to expressing honest opinions but worst of all Tory, Enoch Powell's name is now used as a cheap jibe by comedians and left wing politicians while...
|Pentagon release 'Proportional Response' to Sony hack||0||
"We've infiltrated their computer network," said Chuck Geldings, speaking on behalf of the Pentagon, "and with the help of the NSA we've replaced all copies of Microsoft Office with Google Chrome. If...
|UN to intervene in Christmas card dispute||1||
UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon has called a special meeting of the UN Security Council as a result of an escalation in the long-running dispute raised by the Independent State of 32 Acacia Gardens...
|Korean leader has sex change, becomes Kim Jong Une||2||
|Retailers prepare for 'F#*k It, This Will Do' Wednesday||3||
As shoppers battle through 'Panic Saturday' when an expected £1.2 billion will be spent on festive shopping, store managers are already preparing for the next few days before Christmas Day. The...
|Animal rights campaigners claim rabbits were photoshopped for advert. More soon||0||
|Sony to release "The Interview" on Betamax. More soon.||0||
|Sony to launch follow-up film to be called "The Investigation"||0||
|"Too many Cooks" say England cricket selectors as they drop the captain||0||
|Hereford United affair 'a bit of a wind up' admits mischievous judge||2||
|"Paddington" pulled after studio boss hears growling outside bedroom window||0||
|University students ‘ecstatic’ on returning to parents’ home||3||
The nation’s university students are said to be ‘overjoyed’ to have escaped the oppression and abject tedium of government-funded piss-ups and sexual exploration, and returned home to the...
|Daily Express To Become A Newspaper - Possibly||0||
|Obama’s retaliation to Sony hack: The Interview 2 will feature Adam Sandler||0||
||Fake News Agency||18 hours|
and Brew Barrymore. More Soon…...
|Defiant Pakistani School Children Show Sony How To Stand Up To Bullies||0||
|Millions regret not saying 'Phantom Menace' insulted North Korea||1||
More to follow...
|LittleGreenMenPeace Warns 'Methane Will Cause Martian Warming'.||3||
LittleGreenMenPeace has joined the Friends of Mars in protesting about bursts of methane gas which have been detected on Mars. "This Martian-made pollution will amost certainly lead to climate...
|Obama sends back his Walkman||0||
|Queen's speech is really a nectarine, says palace insider. More soon.||2||
|FBI accuse 'Micky Mouse State' for Sony hack, Sony to sue Disney||0||
|Cinemagoers ecstatic as Sony confirms ‘Annie 2 – The Assassination’ to go ahead||0||
||Dick Everyman||22 hours|
|Archaeologists uncover Biblical-era Take a Sabbath magazine||1||
||Adrian Bamforth||23 hours|
|Critics beg Kim Jong-un to hack Night at the Museum 3||0||
|Wound up Hereford United was running like clockwork, says chairman. More soon||0||
|Women bishops to be allowed after demonstrating "killer instinct"||0||
More to follow...
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