The NewsBiscuit Writers' Room
Everything on these pages has been submitted by readers of the site and appears here unedited. Potential front page stories as well as one-liners for the ticker bar are welcome, so if you would like to write for NewsBiscuit please post your article on this submission board and then attempt to give yourself maximum votes over and over again. The most prolific and successful contributors will be considered for the coveted title of 'Writer of the Month'.
|Topic — Add New »||Comments||Votes||Author||Freshness|
|Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room||0||Nice Admin Lady||1 year|
|'So we've made a few mistakes,' say German psychologists||2||
|Election manifestos released in unbranded packs with graphic health warnings||0||
|Pro-Clarkson hackers threaten to stop BBC by bringing down Astra satellite.||0||
By firing a Corsa at it...
|Sexual Offence waiting times at Oxford A&E set to increase say NHS||0||
|Suicide bomber ‘disappointed’ by post-martyrdom virgin provision...||2||
Abdul was just 17 when he turned himself into a human bomb in a crowded marketplace. He was defending Islam against the infidels - the law of averages suggesting there might indeed be infidels...
|UKIP pledge to restore Marathon and Opal Fruits||21||
The UKIP Election Manifesto has pledged to restore the British Marathon and Opal Fruit brands as part of their campaign to reverse what they call a "foreign conspiracy [to] rebrand all our beloved...
|Commuter turf war erupts as suitcase draggers clash with Coffee Cup spillers||8||
A bitter turf war could erupt on London's train platforms, as tensions rise between rival factions. London's commuter network is a brutal rat race, and travellers have to join gangs in order to...
|Pistorius hired as consultant on cockpit safety procedure||2||
|Green Party urge Britons to vote Labour to ensure Katie Hopkins leaves country||11||
||Philip Kendall||4 hours|
The Green Party's Natalie Bennett has urged her supporters to vote Labour in the coming election following former reality TV star and professional hate-pedlar Katie Hopkins' announcement that she...
|Blair named as Middle-England Peace Envoy in ongoing Clarkson row||8||
The government confirmed today that Tony Blair is to take on the weighty responsibility as mediator in the Clarkson Crisis before the UK descends into all-out civil war. Supermarket shelves are...
|Police admit: "We failed to stop pilot's plot to move Clarkson off front page"||0||
|Sex offenders hit hard by minors' strike||0||
|Ryanair launch cheaper Single- Pilot flights - "odds on you'll get there"||0||
|Mafia hitman over-reacts when told to 'take the dog out'...||1||
|Fox News blames muslims after hearing UK parliament has been 'dissolved'.||0||
Chief Fox News Reporter writes: First they destroyed the World Trade Centre using aircraft. Now it seems the evildoers of Muslim lands have used a cocktail of obnoxious chemicals to physically...
|Gene for gullibility discovered…||0||
|Heinz and Kraft merge to make some kind of 'pink sludge'||0||
In becoming the world’s third-largest food company, Heinz/Kraft have set their goal on developing ‘an unsightly but delicious blend of tomato and processed cheese’. Kraft shares have soared by...
|Mogadishu School of Gynaecology 'making extensive cuts'||0||
||pere floza||7 hours|
|Katie Hopkins to leave UK if Labour wins; Cameron concedes defeat||0||
|Zayn leaves 1D to persue career as Scrabble word||1||
More to follow...
|Self employed man to ask himself to reapply for his job on zero hours contract||0||
After reading an impressive article in Fortune magazine, Barry Shrimpton has decided to make drastic changes at work. Inspired by the advice of Todd J Hoffman III, the global marketing evangelist...
|Confused audience walks out of Opera in middle as Fat lady was singing||5||
|As Election Approaches Cameron Seeks To Bolster Rights For Squatters||0||
||One Man And His Laptop||8 hours|
|3 blind mice, GM trial halted||1||
|Election To Be decided By which Party brings Back Clarkson.||0||
||Dun Dunkin||9 hours|
|Advert! Why not enter a medically induced coma for the next six weeks...||0||
and miss the whole dreadful election campaign in its entirety. And get Nectar points!...
|Job ad - come and "work" for us in the Public Sector!||2||
||Simon Pinkerton||19 hours|
Your local council has a number of employment opportunities, so why not apply today? It will be six months before you hear anything anyway, so what is there to lose? Why should you choose a position...
|Met Office predicts storm of 'Death of Laddism" articles as Loaded & Top Gear||4||
The closure of a lad mag and the demise of a car programme could cause the conditions for a perfect media storm, warn the Met Office. Social climate change experts have warned certain men to stay...
|Hate filled luvvies want man sacked from programme they don't have to watch - 23||84||
|Captain Slow too late to assassinate Clarkson.||0||
A top-secret file leaked from the BBC has revealed that amiable but bumbling WWII lady-boy and undercover Top Gear presenter James May botched and fluffed his way through a long-running series of...
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