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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Chinatown's police crack down on chopstick crime

Following the sharp rise in knife crime, Chinatown's police have begun a stop and search campaign - all the way from the Jade Garden to the Emperor's Palace - with powers to take-away chopsticks and...

Crayon 20.03.19 5:19pm
France's Europe Minister reveals why she has named her cat 'Brexit'

“He wakes me up every day meowing like mad because he wants to be let out, then when I open the door he just stands there, indecisive, then gives me a dirty look when I put him outside., Last week...

umfuli 20.03.19 5:18pm
No Irony Seen In Pro Cycle Racing Team Being Sponsored By Chemicals Company 2
Titus 20.03.19 5:16pm
Brexit mis-sold

Customer: Hey, that Brexit car you sold me is crap, you lied to me., Brexit man: No, No No, that’s a marvellous car, only one in the EU, you’re lucky to have it., Customer: Well the...

tonymc81 20.03.19 5:13pm
Cowardly Anonymous One-Star Fairy Advised To Seek Couselling 1
Titus 20.03.19 5:09pm
Escape to the Country in social media storm

St John and Clarissa Thorpe-Walmsley, a couple from The Cotswolds, have set a staggering new budget record of £7.9 million pounds after appearing on the BBC's Escape to the Country relocation show....

Chipchase 20.03.19 5:09pm
Brexit 'beyond May' 3
Midfield Diamond 20.03.19 5:00pm
If We Can Have The United Kingdom Of Great Britain And Northern Ireland ...

there's clearly no reason why we can't have a European And United Kingdom Of Great Britain And Northern Ireland Union. Even the flag is easy enough; just remove one of the stars and in that 30...

Titus 20.03.19 4:12pm

[repetition deleted in accordance with a ruling by the Speaker of the House of Commons] ...

Titus 20.03.19 4:12pm
No, No, This Deal Isn't Dead, It's Just Got Its Eyes Closed, It's Resting. 2
Titus 20.03.19 3:56pm
Shit Creek Paddle Company ‘liquidated’.

The company which supplies paddles that help rescue canoers and others from difficult situations which cause a public stink has ceased trading after reporting ‘turdulent marketing conditions.’ ...

nickb 20.03.19 3:49pm
Aliens Invade - Are Asked If they Support Brexit - Swiftly Decide To Leave Again 1
Titus 20.03.19 2:00pm
May: You voted for Brexit, now suffer the consequences - did I speak out loud? 0
throngsman 20.03.19 12:30pm
May's Brexit extension letter not received as Grayling forgot to post it. 0
Mick Turate 20.03.19 11:56am
Mick Turate
man rescued after 35 years alone in the jungle tells reporters,Boris is a wanker 0
tonymc81 20.03.19 11:35am
Remainers not marching for "people's vote" on a particular day

It's been announced that Remainers will [i]not[/i] be marching for what they describe as a "people's vote", but which might more accurately be called "to ignore the way those ghastly oiks voted", on...

YaBasta 20.03.19 11:30am
Love Island viewers to be offered therapy 4
deceangli 20.03.19 11:23am
Dick Everyman
Theresa May given three months OCD therapy extension

With symptoms showing no signs of diminishing doctors have recommended a further three months extension to the Prime Minister’s OCD therapy. “Unfortunately, Mrs May has not been responding to...

Dick Everyman 20.03.19 11:18am
Dick Everyman
Theresa May is a dead woman dancing says ERG MP's. 0
tonymc81 20.03.19 11:17am
Englishmen say the funniest things

If you think Brexit is rarely out of the news here in the UK, spare a thought for Europe where they hear Brexit 24 hours a day. With the UK and its politicians never out of the news, the Bars and...

tonymc81 20.03.19 10:27am
Theresa May writes to cancel Time Share in Algarve

Dear Donald, I hope this finds you well and I am writing to inform you that I want to cancel my Time Share Villa in Vale De Lobo from March 2019. As you probably know, it's been a bit difficult...

Milo Shame 20.03.19 9:37am
Bob the Builder Accused of Making Builders Appear Competent

With Peppa Pig and Fireman Sam embroiled in sexism rows, Bob the Builder has today been accused of showing impressionable children that a construction project can be delivered in time and under...

acidcirus 20.03.19 9:33am
EU Agrees With Bercow: 'Please Stop Keep Coming Back' 0
Titus 20.03.19 8:43am
Love Island viewers to be offered therapy 2
Dick Everyman 20.03.19 8:37am
Juncker Continues To Try To Explain To Remainians That Brexit Means Brexit 0
Titus 20.03.19 8:33am
Confused EU Looks Up & Says To Britain 'Oh, Are You Still Here?'

or 'EU Offers To Fetch Britain's Hat And Coat' ...

Titus 20.03.19 8:22am
London's homeless can sleep in East Enders new £87m set when its cold says BBC 0
tonymc81 20.03.19 8:20am
EU Gives Britain Extra Time But Just To Shut The Door On The Way Out 0
Titus 20.03.19 8:18am
Unelected man who got job because his father is President slates UK democracy

More to follow...

apepper 20.03.19 8:17am
Row Over Whether Extension Sought From EU Should Have 3-Pin Or Just 2-Pin Plug 0
Titus 20.03.19 8:03am