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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Saudi Embassy Criticised For 'Sub Standard' Health & Safety Assessment 0
Titus 19.10.18 9:37pm
Titus
Cleggbook suspends Nuneaton account 0
Guido Drapatolli 19.10.18 8:56pm
Guido Drapatolli
Botched compliment

Saudi correspondent put to death following disastrously botched compliment., "Your majesty", he wheedled " May I say you are looking chipper today"...

0
interdog 19.10.18 8:06pm
interdog
Clegg promises no more Facebook adverts for students. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 19.10.18 7:09pm
dominic_mcg
Milkman sales soar after Man Booker Prize win. Eggs and yoghurt also available. 0
dominic_mcg 19.10.18 7:08pm
dominic_mcg
Pampered hate preacher vacates space for The Dirty Score. 0
ron cawleyoni 19.10.18 6:22pm
ron cawleyoni
Kleenex Mansize name changed welcomed by..#Atchmechoo campaign. 0
ron cawleyoni 19.10.18 6:10pm
ron cawleyoni
Facebook recruits Clegg so it can’t influence elections 3
Myke 19.10.18 6:00pm
Standards Officer
Students accuse Clegg of joining Twofacebook. 0
ron cawleyoni 19.10.18 5:55pm
ron cawleyoni
Silvio Berlusconi saddened Facebook didn’t put him in charge of global affairs. 0
satire1 19.10.18 5:25pm
satire1
Queen's luck finally runs out after 27 years as she visits Bracknell 0
Chipchase 19.10.18 5:19pm
Chipchase
Porn sneaks onto mainstream TV as ‘How’s It Made?’ series do: ‘A baby’

In an effort to boost ratings, the nerdy-niche show from the something-or-other channel on page umpteen in the tv listings is producing episodes with edgier content, including: ‘How it’s made: A...

0
DavidH 19.10.18 4:47pm
DavidH
Yorkshire barbers accuse 'Huddersfield 20' of giving grooming a bad name. 0
satire1 19.10.18 4:23pm
satire1
Assange faces more allegations of pussy abuse. 0
satire1 19.10.18 4:14pm
satire1
Boris proposes stopping the Earth's rotation for an hour to save summertime

Former Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson, has proposed an alternative to the traditional turning the clocks back in the Autumn. Calling the current system "deranged" and "entirely preposterous", Mr...

0
apepper 19.10.18 3:57pm
apepper
Facebook hire Nick Clegg to improve integrity and PR with young people.

More soon. Although this is just a truebiscuit really...

0
Sir Lupus 19.10.18 3:56pm
Sir Lupus
Kleenex toilet roll rebranded ‘arse-wipes’ [Hat-tip to Mother]

Toilet roll manufacturer Kleenex has announced it will label its toilet tissues ‘arse-wipes’ to remove ambiguity about its official use. The move comes after the Advertising Standards Authority...

2
Myke 19.10.18 3:51pm
Sir Lupus
Saudis Hackers more feared than Russian Hackers. 3
ron cawleyoni 19.10.18 3:10pm
Bravenewmalden
Nick Clegg hired as Chief Whipping Boy at Facebook

Social Media giant, Facebook, has confirmed reports today that it only hired former Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, as Head of Global Operations, in order to be able to blame him every time they...

0
Chipchase 19.10.18 2:56pm
Chipchase
Abandoned bicycle wheel probably no longer needs padlock

Even the most opportunist petty thief has shown very little interest in one deflated wheel, resolutely chained to railings of Crawley train station. With its misshapen form and bespoke spokes poking...

8
Wrenfoe 19.10.18 2:46pm
Gerontius
As Canada legalise Cannabis Trudeau tells May“You think you got Border Problems” 0
ron cawleyoni 19.10.18 1:53pm
ron cawleyoni
Quantum physics lets MPs lie and not lie simultaneously

[have a feeling I need to hat-tip for this (?)] A game changing breakthrough in quantum physics means politicians will soon be able to tell the truth and bullshit at the same time. Scientists at the...

0
Myke 19.10.18 1:10pm
Myke
Farted in face Tesco worker to sue for £20M..Trump to sue Stormy for TRILLIONS! 0
ron cawleyoni 19.10.18 11:54am
ron cawleyoni
Owen Jones announced as new James Bond

Guardian columnist and militant flounce-moppet Owen Jones is set to unveiled as the new James Bond later today in a surprise move from the franchise. ‘It was something of a surprise for us too,’...

22
Skylarking 19.10.18 11:51am
Titus
Man flouts 'safely remove hardware' advice on computer yet again

A man has once again decided to ignore important Windows advice telling him that it is not safe to remove his portable memory stick from his laptop, it has emerged. David McBride, a marketing...

5
chrisf 19.10.18 9:06am
chrisf
Jamal Khashoggi emerges from embassy toilet

"Sorry guys. I'd definitely give it five minutes if I were you. What?"...

5
Bravenewmalden 19.10.18 8:36am
Sir Lupus
Dumetella Carolinensis Flees Trump Administration

https://www.cornwalllive.com/news/cornwall-news/rare-catbird-america-twitchers-flocking-2121722 ...

0
Titus 19.10.18 7:55am
Titus
Saudis Finally Explain Disappearance Of Jamal Khashoggi

'We have thoroughly investigated the concerns expressed by Western infidels' said Mohammed Bin Lynr, spokesman for the Saudi government. 'We were so concerned that we flew in a dedicated team of...

0
Titus 19.10.18 7:54am
Titus
May recruits Choudary for Brexit team 0
Guido Drapatolli 19.10.18 7:52am
Guido Drapatolli
I read the news today Oh boy 4,000 holes near Blackpool Lancashire. 0
ron cawleyoni 19.10.18 7:00am
ron cawleyoni