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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Bored mother-in-law demands significant role in newlyweds future

A retired and unoccupied mother has warned her 25 year-old son-in-law of 'untold consequences' if he prevents her taking centre stage in his marriage. In a carefully worded letter, received only 2...

0
jonessgl 14.02.16 12:49pm
jonessgl
Calls To Bring back Blowjob Sunday

Following the success of Shrove Tuesday and Yorkshire Tourist Boards request to bring back Kissing Friday,a number of Counties have called for the re introduction of BJ Sunday., Thought to have been...

0
tonymc81 14.02.16 10:39am
tonymc81
All public sector workers to be made MPs

In an unprecedented move the Prime Minister has announced that the current 630 constituencies were to be divided up into 245000 smaller constituencies, with every teacher, firefighter, Civil Servant...

0
throngsman 14.02.16 9:36am
throngsman
Valentine's Day to be replaced with unannounced inspections

'Basically, once a year isn't good enough', said Maria Jenkins, Chair of OFROM. 'Romance is an all-year activity. Having the inspection on the same date each year just enables men to game the system,...

0
deceangli 14.02.16 9:35am
deceangli
"British jobs for Btitish workers" pressure group headed by football managers

A pressure group headed by Arsène Wenger, Rémi Garde and Louis van Gaal, modelling themselves on Gordon Brown's famous aphorism, has been formed in the wake of the report that Nicky Morgan is...

0
Prime Mover 14.02.16 7:20am
Prime Mover
Brexit Would Cause War Says US Diplomat

An American diplomat has stated that it is essential for Britain to remain part of the EU, in order to stop war breaking out. "Look, the United Nations only allowed England and Belgium to take part...

0
Titus 13.02.16 10:57pm
Titus
Trident to be used if Russia attacks Isis supporting Turkey 0
Dun Dunkin 13.02.16 10:43pm
Dun Dunkin
Stopping 350k migration a year 'threat to national security' says Cameron. 0
Dun Dunkin 13.02.16 10:40pm
Dun Dunkin
Berlin wall to be rebuilt in 'new cold war' 0
Dun Dunkin 13.02.16 10:39pm
Dun Dunkin
US Forces secure rock and sand dune outside Raqqa

US airstrikes supported by thousands of Kurdish rebels and Saudi elite soldiers are believed to have been instrumental in the capture of a rock thrown at a F15 jet and may have been responsible for...

1
throngsman 14.02.16 8:11am
Gerontius
Brutally honest vet believes in calling a spayed a spayed 0
Smart Alex 13.02.16 9:27pm
Smart Alex
Macca writes emoji tunes for Skype ;-/ 0
throngsman 13.02.16 8:40pm
throngsman
Gunpowder plotters warn "it's no more Mr Nice Guy" 0
sydalg 13.02.16 4:55pm
sydalg
Cher lookng good for 69 but boyfriend already asleep. More soon. 3
dominic_mcg 14.02.16 11:51am
Gerontius
Shock as Jeremy Hunt’s frontal lobotomy secret is revealed

Details have emerged that the Secretary of State for Health, Jeremy Hunt was the subject of a full frontal lobotomy on his return from working in Japan in the 1990’s. The shock news reveals,...

0
Dick Everyman 13.02.16 1:15pm
Dick Everyman
Fashion house aims at overweight clientele with new Estée Larder range 0
sydalg 13.02.16 12:33pm
sydalg
Global warming caused by gravitational waves claim climate skeptics. 0
Al OPecia 13.02.16 10:12am
Al OPecia
Concern as gravity moves to online only

More to follow...

0
apepper 13.02.16 9:32am
apepper
"UK spending £100 billion on Trident is brilliant idea" - says US

More to follow...

0
apepper 13.02.16 9:28am
apepper
Local Reporter Fined ₤27000 In Toddler Football Match Fixing Scandal

February 12th, North Williamstown, NEWFOUNDLAND- Local tabloid newsman and problem drinker/gambler Elliot Cooper-Smith has confessed to fixing football matches in the high-stakes 6 year old or...

0
Takos1021 13.02.16 4:58am
Takos1021
Internet to become online-only

The Internet has announced that it is to cease publication of its daily print editions this week, while winding down its weekly editions with a view to becoming online-only by the end of the month....

3
Adrian Bamforth 14.02.16 8:05am
Gerontius
(Ignore: Double-post) 1
Adrian Bamforth 13.02.16 12:06pm
Dick Everyman
Junior doctors press government to ban hounding with Hunts. 1
deskpilot3 13.02.16 8:15am
Dick Everyman
WAR IS OVER! THUMB TRUCE DECLARED! 1
gaijintendo 12.02.16 11:56pm
Al OPecia
The Daily Telegraph to finally cease being a newspaper. 0
Mandy Lifeboat 12.02.16 9:50pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Kanye West says of wife,he made that whore famous.

Whore soon...

0
marlon bando 12.02.16 9:44pm
marlon bando
Gravity Waves Translated - Also Another Mystery Solved

Closer examination by scientists of the recently detected gravitational 'blip' from the collision of two black holes 13 billion years ago show that this 'blip' is actually a highly compressed stream...

2
Titus 13.02.16 10:49am
Sinnick
Eagles to be used to combat drones, Fleetwood Mac may also assist.

More soft rock later...

2
virtuallywill 12.02.16 9:19pm
virtuallywill
Independent says Newsbiscuit's success swayed its online only move 3
StanleyMizaru 13.02.16 2:09pm
Griffin
Online comedy site "perfectly good way to deliver messages of love" study finds

An extensive study from academics at Wembley University has found that online comedy articles with a Valentine's theme are an entirely acceptable way to publicly state feelings of love towards your...

1
DrTurmoil 12.02.16 5:00pm
DrTurmoil