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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
F@*kwit’s going home 0
chrisf 16.07.18 11:41pm
US-Russia proposed 'Joint Cyber Agreement' wins international satire award. 0
Squudge 16.07.18 11:16pm
Trump leaves Britain a scathing Trip Advisor review

Donald Trump has only given the UK one star on his Trip Advisor review of his recent visit. He criticised many aspects of this trip, including the food. “When I booked I had expected bed and...

StanleyMizaru 16.07.18 11:03pm
Airfix announces it has won contract for Typhoon replacement

'It'll be pretty neat,' said Gavin Williamson, aged eight, CEO of Airfix UK and apparently Defence Secretary. 'We're working on glueless wing joints and clip together tailplanes. If we can get...

throngsman 16.07.18 10:44pm
Elon Musk’s hyperloop to revolutionise public transport for nonces

Elon Musk’s revolutionary hyperloop transport system could enable nonces to travel great distances to find their prey, according to experts. The business magnate’s bold idea is seen as a boon to...

Gary Stanton 16.07.18 10:28pm
Gary Stanton
George Clooney eclipses Neymar as highest paid actor 1
DavidH 16.07.18 10:25pm
Double glazing firm fined for threatening to put customer's windows in. 1
dominic_mcg 16.07.18 10:24pm
Pussy Riot member with no letter i on keyboard bombarded with STD spam 0
sydalg 16.07.18 10:11pm
Coming Sooner than you think new Blockbuster..Trumpobvski &The Giant Impeachment

This has been a FBI Production...

ron cawleyoni 16.07.18 9:39pm
Putin denies having dirt on Trump

"There is no substance to the allegation that we have proof that he is a liar, a bully, brash, and a very rude man. If anyone has such evidence, we know nothing about it." said the Russian President....

MzWibble 16.07.18 9:37pm
Trump announces "America Second" policy

At a meeting with President Putin, Trump announced a new "America Second" policy, and together they announced a new "Russia First" joint policy. His suggestion to develop a "Trump First" policy was...

MzWibble 16.07.18 9:25pm
Juncker denies alcohol problem during interview - drinks five glasses of bubbly

The controversial head of the European Commission has denied that he has a problem with alcohol during an interview in which he drank five glasses of champagne. Allegations have circulated around...

MzWibble 16.07.18 9:17pm
Putin lining up Trump to replace Abramovic at Chelski. 0
ron cawleyoni 16.07.18 8:23pm
ron cawleyoni
May clarifies 'no second referendum' statement by naming date

'It's government policy to state absolutes that are opposite to plans,' stated the Prime Minister today, explaining that when she said 'Brexit means Brexit' she clearly meant 'Brexit means a...

throngsman 16.07.18 7:24pm
Putin congratulates 'sleeper agent' Trump

Dmitry Trumpski, formerly of Moscow's School for Backward Boys, has met his KGB handler in Helsinki for the first time, in order to explain why nobody has, as yet, spotted the overthrow of Western...

Wrenfoe 16.07.18 7:22pm
New 3-Way Poll: Should We Have Another Referendum: Yes / No / Let The EU Tell Us 2
Titus 16.07.18 7:09pm
Motorways Raise Speed Limit In Restrictions Which Are Unneccessary Anyway

The Highways agency explained they had taken learned from local authorities that the cheapest way to deal with road defects was to paint yellow lines around them, rather than repair them. However,...

Titus 16.07.18 6:57pm
UK's first space port books Mos Eisley Cantina Band for its grand opening. 0
dominic_mcg 16.07.18 6:53pm
"Couch to 5K" man has no idea what to do with the 4999 extra couches. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 16.07.18 6:49pm
Derbyshire Council rue the slashing of Tarantula Control services 0
DavidH 16.07.18 6:00pm
Piers Morgan seizes power and establishes his own TV channel

Breakfast broadcaster and GMB's biggest anchor, Piers Morgan, has seized power at ITV Studios and established a new channel called Morgan TV which will broadcast nothing but programmes featuring the...

Chipchase 16.07.18 3:58pm
Pussy Riot to face punishment at hands of Tory ‘Daddy’ MP. 0
ron cawleyoni 16.07.18 3:51pm
ron cawleyoni
'Racist' France team selection sparks glorious revolution

The oppressed masses of Paris rose up again on Sunday in a glorious revolution sparked by fury at the institutional racism of the France world cup win., Breaking shop windows, stealing mopeds and...

SirHarryPaget 16.07.18 1:59pm
President of Croatia wins wet T-shirt final. 0
silly billy scotland 16.07.18 1:00pm
silly billy scotland
Trump envious that Putin laid on a golden shower for France last night. 0
satire1 16.07.18 12:29pm
Putin pays tribute to Steve McLaren at World Cup award ceremony 0
Midfield Diamond 16.07.18 12:10pm
Midfield Diamond
New "Southgate" brand viagra launched:

Will get you a semi' in even the most hopeless of cases. Sorry!, Ugi...

Ugi 16.07.18 11:36am
Producers of ‘Middle-age Love Island’ give up and go home

At a no-expense-spared, fully-accessible villa on the sun-kissed Isle of Wight, a TV production crew and twenty contestants on the show 'Middle-Age Love Island' are packing their bags and going home....

DavidH 16.07.18 11:17am
Referendumainians Launch Campaign

'I was opposed to the idea of ever having a referendum in the first place, as well as to the result of the one we had, so it is only logical and entirely consistent that I should now be calling for...

Titus 16.07.18 10:40am
Viagra Denies Promoting Hard Brexit: 'No, We Said Negotiating Brexit Is Hard' 0
Titus 16.07.18 8:58am