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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 5 days
Advertisers ask 'Is it too soon to cash in on Mandela?' 8
Wrenfoe 8 seconds

As the inevitable squabble over Nelson Mandela's estate descends into chaos, advertising agencies have been left on tenterhooks awaiting the appropriate time to trample over his legacy. Untroubled by...
Pundits judge "Mandela grief orgy" over quicker than your first hand job. 3
rikkor 1 minute

Now it's time...
Boy finding porn in the woods 'delighted' with his new iPad. 1
James Pluside 1 minute

A teenager has been speaking of his surprise and joy in resurrecting the tradition of finding porn in the woods and is delighted with the iPad that it came on. The young lad was scouring the bushes...
'Sickening’ scenes as lefties mourn dead foreign terrorist 14
Oxbridge 2 minutes

There has been widespread anger as the British liberal elite – many of whom treated the death of the Blessed Margaret Thatcher earlier this year with complete indifference - have lined up to pay...
MPs To Receive Counselling On How To Cope With Grief Of Pay Rise 0
Titus 48 minutes

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-25287108...
Heart Of Darkness Reaches Kielder Forest 0
Titus 53 minutes

The horror, the horror! http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-21666483...
Cameron receives huge bag of prawn crackers after Chinese nuclear plant order 2
Basil_B 1 hour
Government outlaws fascist bastardism. 4
Ching 5 hours

Government passes new bill to protect the rights of "Fascist Bastards"., An overwhelming majority vote in parliament today recognised that, "Fascist Bastardism" will not be tolerated in the UK. ...
Coalition Government to sell off UK to France 1
zabko1961 5 hours

The decision to sell the nation's stake in the UK was confirmed this week by the financial secretary to the Treasury, Danny Alexander - recently voted Britain's most annoying ginger twat in a pub in...
Fred Goodwin & Paul Flowers Become Air Traffic Controllers 0
Titus 7 hours

http://news.sky.com/story/1179070/air-traffic-control-problem-delays-uk-flights...
Andrew Mitchell Names His Favourite Christmas Song 0
Titus 7 hours

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hI1nPd7hezM...
Malala 'a saddo loser', British schoolchildren agree 13
Oxbridge 10 hours

Schoolchildren throughout Britain are still struggling to come to terms with the acclaim accorded to Malala Yousafzai, a Pakistani school pupil and activist blogger who was shot in the head by the...
Nissan Main Dealers bemused by floral tributes. More soon. 3
Al OPecia 12 hours
Now Revealed: Mandela Left Bad Review Of Robin Island On Trip Advisor 2
Titus 12 hours
Girl Enslaved By Siblings Groomed At Disco By Young Aristocrat With Foot Fetish 4
Titus 12 hours

All together now: "[i]Oh, no, she wasn't[/i]...
Dinner party fantasist revises invite list following Mandela's death 10
antharrison 12 hours

Mike Jones, a 68 year-old car salesman from Manchester, has - for the 40th time - been forced to revise the invitee list for his 'Ideal' dinner party following the death of Nelson Mandela. 'I...
Police reveal Mandela body found in Oscar Pistorius bathroom. 1
MADJEZ 12 hours

I'll get my coat...
Salford man in hiding after admitting "I never met Mandela" 6
Kevin the Swan 12 hours

A Salford man is currently receiving specialist counselling after voluntarily admitting "I never met Mandela". Police are asking for others in a similar position to come forward for their own...
Man saying nothing about Mandela accused of being racist 1
Dumbnews 14 hours
Nelson Mandela was absolutely great 27
jamsieoconnor 14 hours

Former South African president, Nelson Mandela, who passed away yesterday, was absolutely great in every single way possible, it has been revealed. It is just difficult to put into words just how...
Nissan Main Dealer in Cape Town "Surprised and delighted" by heartfelt tributes 4
Skylarking 14 hours
Obituary: Nelson Mandela - 2 35
jamsieoconnor 15 hours

Nelson Mandela, the Che Guevara of the middle classes, has died in South Africa, aged 95, after a long battle against a lung infection. Born in 1918 in a stable in Bethlehem, this unassuming farm...
Keith Vaz clears his diary and heads for Pretoria 2
medici2471 17 hours

More next week...
Mexican thief with radiation poisonoing upset not to have developed superpowers 0
Smart Alex 17 hours
First wave of internet Mandela gags fails in mass premature e-joculation. 0
Al OPecia 17 hours

More lateronish...
Harry Enfield rues loss of last remaining accurate impersonation. 3
Al OPecia 17 hours
Ancient Manuscript Found In English Monastery Ruins….. 0
Jesse Bigg 18 hours

….Forecasts a blue-tunic group of men, greedy for power, will pillage the land and rob the poor…. Nah, could be a hoax...
Sorry - post withdrawn 2
AReader 19 hours

Nothing to see here move along...
Justin Bieber asks to be sent to prison for 27 years. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 21 hours
New photo opportunity required 1
vulture1 23 hours

Politicians, celebrities, pop-star charity fund-raisers, political correspondents, reformed gangsters, relatives, distant relatives, un-reformed gangsters, Heads of States, Heads of failed States,...