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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Untidy cupboard under your kitchen sink looking forward to relaxing Bank Holiday

Your untidied cupboard under the kitchen sink will enjoy yet another relaxing extended weekend chilling in its own cluttered mess, it has confirmed. The news comes despite it being priority number 1,...

chrisf 26.08.16 1:08pm
Tommy Cooper exhibition at London Museum. Victoria. Albert. Albert. Victoria. 0
dominic_mcg 26.08.16 12:51pm
Owen Smith fails to find seat at Corbyn rally

Leaked video footage shows the Labour contender trying to squeeze through a throng of Corbynistas at a recent leadership event, only for Mr. Smith to produce a fake disability badge and ungraciously...

Wrenfoe 26.08.16 10:24am
Daesh pissed off at inability to claim responsibility for Italian earthquake 1
sockpuppet 26.08.16 9:34am
silly billy scotland
NHS Crisis: ‘Not enough sutures for planned cuts’ 0
silly billy scotland 26.08.16 9:23am
silly billy scotland
‘iPhones Hacked with One Tap.’ Polish plumbers seek to cash in. 0
silly billy scotland 26.08.16 9:22am
silly billy scotland
British towns come of age with triple-barrelled names

Cities, towns and even small villages across the UK have joined in a new craze of giving themselves updated triple-barrelled names of the kind enjoyed by Kingston-upon-Thames or even more. Among the...

Oxbridge 26.08.16 8:17am
Proxima-B identical to earth ‘except for one kind of liquorice allsorts.'

Scientists investigating planets that might be similar to ours have discovered a planet almost identical to planet earth, named Proxima-B. ‘Initially, atsronomers were trying to identify planets...

nickb 25.08.16 7:51pm
War between Fruit and Veg escalates as Brussels attack Apple. 2
Jodster 25.08.16 6:27pm
baron la croix

"Apart from 'NewsBiscuit' and 'Mrs Brown's Boys', there is no evidence of intelligent life."...

silly billy scotland 25.08.16 6:19pm
Trump: 'I'm not a Bigot. Bigotory is a crime. And crime is for Mexicans' 0
silly billy scotland 25.08.16 6:18pm
silly billy scotland
Daily Mail says 'GCSEs should be made easier' as fewer get good grades 0
sockpuppet 25.08.16 5:51pm
Corbyn launches new pastime for saddos - trainsquatting. 1
sockpuppet 25.08.16 5:08pm
Dead man "was a bit of a shit" claims brother

The brother of a dead man has made the shock claim that he "was a right nob actually", after reading his obituary in the paper. John Rushern, 43, of Greater Manchester, was moved to make the claims...

andyiong 25.08.16 4:19pm
2016 GCSE results show a 6.3% increase in meaningless statistics

The results of this year’s GCSE examinations have been published today, along with a substantial growth in the amount of irrelevant analysis about them. The volume of pointless statistics is up...

Midfield Diamond 25.08.16 4:13pm
Midfield Diamond
Over-eager musicians tell Scouser his ex still loves him, yeah yeah yeah

Sean Marshall, a 24-year-old apprentice bricklayer from Liverpool, was highly embarrassed earlier today when four casual acquaintances from a local band accosted him on the street and repeatedly told...

Oxbridge 25.08.16 4:05pm
Spiders on trial over soaring fly population 0
Jodster 25.08.16 3:20pm
Trump Pence signs missing hyphen causes stink 0
Thundi 25.08.16 12:59pm
Farage urges Mississippi to leave the USA

More independent states soon...

Tammy Flugh 25.08.16 12:37pm
Tammy Flugh
Horny Ex-President Brands Burkinis ‘Provocative’ 0
Jodster 25.08.16 12:34pm
Yorkshire Ripper NOT Paranoid. The other prisoners ARE out to get him 1
silly billy scotland 25.08.16 11:20am
French scientists say egg-shaped planet is oeuf-like 2
Underconstruction 25.08.16 11:17am
Burkina Faso consulate in Cannes changes name to Bikini Faso 0
cinquecento 25.08.16 11:11am
Corbyn insists 'seats were occupied by Pokeman Go characters'

The spat between Jeremy Corbyn and Sir Richard Branson has hit a new high today following the release of footage from the Virgin train Corbyn says forced him to sit on the floor showing there were...

throngsman 25.08.16 10:20am
Farage: Vote for Trump and you too can beat the Poles, sorry polls 0
Major Tom 25.08.16 10:07am
Major Tom
Beach Deaths Soar as Kracken is Released 0
silly billy scotland 25.08.16 9:57am
silly billy scotland
'It is what it is' man proved wrong

After hearing designer Rob Shepherd say 'it is what it is' for the 10,000th time, his colleagues have taken to pointing out that in most cases, it can be a lot more or indeed a lot less than what it...

Bravenewmalden 25.08.16 9:52am
Extremists to bunk with Fletcher

Prisoners advocating Islamic State will now be placed in a 'special unit' under the watchful, yet benevolent eye, of Norman Stanley Fletcher. Having been instrumental in reforming 'young Godber',...

Wrenfoe 25.08.16 9:25am
Adrian Bamforth
Wizard academy looking for new staff 0
NotNowCato 25.08.16 8:31am
Shock as thermometer records hottest day of the year....

Parts of the UK are currently at a "national emergency" red alert, as the prolonged hot spell has become severe. The average threshold temperature of 30C by day and 15C overnight has been with us for...

Bagger 25.08.16 8:29am