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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Na na na ISIL I'm still going to work today!

Take that and shove it up your suicide bombing ass!...

blacklesbianandproudofit 26.05.17 7:15am
EU Trump oddly discreet: 'I've been to lots of countries, seen lots of leaders' 1
maxine jones 26.05.17 6:59am
steve smith
Turns out, Pandas have been ‘doing anal’ all along

Scientists in the reproductive physiology department at the San Diego Zoo have discovered, through the use of thermal imagining, a general predilection for ‘black and white back-door action’ in...

Wrenfoe 25.05.17 10:51pm
Manchester bombing - May pledges immediate inaction. 0
Maverick 25.05.17 9:39pm
Trump furious about leaks. Doctors say it's normal at his age. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 25.05.17 7:50pm
Theresa May wins gurning championship She had just heard Jeremy Corbyn is catching up with her in the polls. “I’ll give it to her” joked...

farmer giles 25.05.17 6:18pm
farmer giles
Rooney says he can still play for toffee 0
chrisf 25.05.17 6:07pm
Fitbit manufacturer: inaccurate measures are 'two steps forward, one step back' 0
chrisf 25.05.17 6:04pm
Man Utd wipe the floor with Ajax 3
harrypalmer 25.05.17 6:03pm
farmer giles
Lazy shoe fetishist ‘needs a boot up the backside’ 2
farmer giles 25.05.17 6:02pm
farmer giles
Over verbose criminal has sentence doubled

More to follow...

apepper 25.05.17 5:57pm
Worrying rise in eye contact during rush-hour commute

As humans seek to reconnect with our communities during particularly worrying and atrocious times, the great bastion of dehumanisation, the rush hour commute, has sadly been hit with savage attempts...

SimonJJames 25.05.17 5:54pm
M&S chief says profit fall due to British becoming less frumpy 0
maxine jones 25.05.17 4:23pm
maxine jones
Owner of warped vinyl LP wants to set record straight. 2
NotNowCato 25.05.17 4:12pm
Gay sex hunting back on the Parliamentary menu

Tim Farron has told supporters he would allow a free vote on gay sex hunting, which ‘is a tradition going back hundreds possibly thousands of years’ Farron claimed. Since being banned by Labour,...

Candide 25.05.17 3:31pm
Trump orders sacking of May for questioning over-sharing 0
maxine jones 25.05.17 2:01pm
maxine jones
Hostilities escalate as Middle Classes choose sides in Fake vs Natural grass row

Unsettling reports have reached us around the escalation and persistence of a row pertaining to the growing debate the middle classes are facing in regards to choosing either artificial grass for...

SimonJJames 25.05.17 1:59pm
Divisions as Nation's dog philosophers finally rule on who is a good boy

At the penultimate day of the National Symposium of Dog Philosophy yesterday, the atmosphere became tense as Rex, a 14 year old cocker spaniel and President of the Bilateral Association of...

SimonJJames 25.05.17 1:21pm
Manchester Police to give sensitive information direct to Wikileaks

More time-saving measures soon...

Mick Turate 25.05.17 12:44pm
Mick Turate
Vicar’s wife likes cock, apparently

The wife of the vicar in a quiet parish in the Isle of Wight is more than a bit partial to cock, it has emerged among the congregation. Angela Danielson, 39, has been married to the Reverend Keith...

Oxbridge 25.05.17 12:32pm
Crack Met Police anti terror unit has stopped three tweet plots by Katy Hopkins 0
ronseal 25.05.17 12:29pm
People who like being photographed in the garden to be taken out and shot 1
NotNowCato 25.05.17 12:25pm
Morrissey suspends being a.. oh, too late 0
Adrian Bamforth 25.05.17 10:51am
Adrian Bamforth
Pope converts to birth control 70 years too late 0
sydalg 25.05.17 10:12am
New "virtue signalling" app launched

In what's expected to be the next big thing on the internet, a Silicon Valley startup has launched an app which automatically posts to your social media that you feel appropriate and noble feelings...

YaBasta 25.05.17 8:59am
Trump Vatican visit: Pope advocates girth control 1
chrisf 25.05.17 8:41am
May explains to Trump that photobombing is not a harmless prank 0
maxine jones 25.05.17 8:16am
maxine jones
Focus On The Accuracy Of Shifting Not On The Types Of Shifting Provided By The C

Many of the facilities are offered by a particular company, who is providing the shifting facility as they have to come with a package and they needs to have all different things with them so that...

reenasharma 25.05.17 8:14am
God responds to #prayfor hashtags and sorts it all out 0
cinquecento 25.05.17 8:13am
Theresa May defends plan to scrap school dinners: "Let them eat cake!"

Critics of the Conservative's plan to scrap school dinners have raised concerns that hungry children are unlikely to give a flying fidget about the mathematical value of x; the photosynthesis of...

Crayon 25.05.17 7:22am