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I'll say one thing for Clark Carlisle - anyone that can tackle a lorry....... 3 ronseal 1 month

must be pretty fucking hard...

Truebiscuit 1 riesler 1 month

http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/feb/06/owl-attacks-joggers-and-steals-their-hats Love the comment about the superb-owl...

Truebiscuit: OK to smack your children, just not in the face ! 0 Not Amused 1 month

[url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-31163219]Pope showing his humanity [/url] I especially like The Pope said: "One time, I heard a father in a meeting with married couples say 'I...

A new low? - 2 37 Gerontius 1 month

29 of the 31 entries on the current page are tickers., Three or four are mildly amusing at best., Is this it from now on?, Nothing but shit tickers., Is that the height of ambition nowadays?...

NIBs with PICS a new dawn? 5 Dick Everyman 1 month

Just an observation ;0) Has this been done before?...

Church oppose ivf treatment over 'ethical' concerns 2 Robert Koch 1 month

Sadly, 3 way IVF wont be able to cure Anglicans of numbing stupidity...

Police to enter crime scene in Turner Prize 7 1 month

OK - so initially posted this here instead of writier's room. Sorry - first time submitting. Would delete from chat room but cannot see how. What a great start...

Views on the intrusive FP adverts 4 throngsman 1 month

There's been a number of FP adverts recently that cover the whole page and force you to scroll around to close it down. Not sure what it's for, possibly Channel 5 but maybe not - I'm too busy trying...

Forces Of Scottish State Poised To Sweep South 2 Titus 1 month

Having declared a 'Jock Hard' (usually referred to as a "J'Hard") against the soft southern infidels, the SNP now plans to establish a Caledoniphate. They have already banned music, replacing it...

Was it me, or did the site keep falling over? 9 Al OPecia 1 month
Brian Blessed pulls out of King Lear 1 Not Amused 1 month

I am sure I shouldn't laugh but I did.. can we nominate the BBC for a ticker (just to clarify, I'm not laughing because of his illness of course ! )...

Relatives of yours, Kevin? 0 Titus 2 months

https://www.dropbox.com/s/m2y3fj1f1fl08cc/Dance%20of%20the%20Cygnets.mp4?dl=0...

There has to be some mileage in the "Churches oppose three-person baby plan" 0 Al OPecia 2 months

story - "Churches turn backs on Son and Holy Ghost"? Any offers? And I see that the BBC has posted a story "[i]Brian Blessed pulls out of King Lear on doctor's orders[/i]" I'm not sure it needs any...

The Empty Chair Party - policies please 1 deceangli 2 months

Here's mine to start us off : 1. You can't be selected as an MP in the Empty Chair Party unless you've worked for at least 10 years in a real job. Examples of unreal jobs include intern, consultant,...

Vegetarian advice please - 2 56 Dick Everyman 2 months

I've invited some friends to dinner on Friday night. Two of them are vegetarians, (one is a vegan actually) so looking for a few tips to make sure I don't f**k up. Your help would be appreciated...

Nuclear scientist getting into a spin over CERN 5 Robert Koch 2 months

been waiting for days for good angle on this one. sadly still eluding me. Anyone got a funny one?...

Online tool to help comedy writers find connections and ideas 7 Dumbnews 2 months

I put together a tool to find related words and find connections between unrelated words . I find it useful to get me thinking along new lines. I built a quick proof-of-concept. See if you think it...

, 0 Dumbnews 2 months
Truesbiscuit 0 Titus 2 months

Not satire, but amusing: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-30997066 [i]Suggested captions on a postcard[/i]...

Can anyone tell me please? 14 Al OPecia 2 months

How I can get access to the "old" subs boards prior to the Big Switchover to the new ones. Have been meaning to ask for a while...

Cameron wants the DUP involved now *groan* 2 andyiong 2 months

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/jan/26/david-cameron-northern-ireland-parties-tv-debates This is an artists' impression of the TV studio on debate night:,...

UKIP - don't you just love them? 6 Scroat 2 months

They put the fun back in politics. You never quite know what idiotic thing they'll come up with next. Be honest, when was the last time just the thought of what a politician said make you chuckle...

Patriots gather to commemorate "Britain's greatest queue" 0 waffle 2 months

Commemorations take place in London today to mark the half centenary of what most historians agree to be “Britain’s greatest queue”., It is 50 years since thousands of patriots lined up...

Remember the Mike Tyson sub that went viral? 0 Scroat 2 months

Well a story about UKIP banning all foreigners from driving might be picked up by a loony somewhere. Of course it would have to be written by a loony first...

Sitzpinklers take a stand! 1 Dick Everyman 2 months

[url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-30937492]A victory for mankind[/url]...

I give up trying to satirise this. 6 Titus 2 months

http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20150112/odd-news/saudi-cleric-condemns-snowmen-as-anti-islamic.551624 I suppose some bunch of loonies will now go around trying to kill them or blow them...

Do the Royals get a worldwide age of consent guide before they travel? 4 Dick Everyman 2 months

If they don't then this feature could save any future faux pas [url=http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/what-age-consent-around-world-2802173]Age of consent around the world[/url] Mind you they'd...

None of you came to my birthday party 19 Titus 2 months

Please send me your addresses so that I can invoice each of you...

Living the dream... 2 sydalg 2 months

http://www.independent.ie/world-news/europe/teenage-boy-poses-as-doctor-in-hospital-gynaecology-department-for-a-month-30926992.html...

How the Hell do you 'sex down' a dossier? 2 Titus 2 months

Surely castration is a more accurate word for the redaction/ editing / censorship which Chilcot is undergoing?...