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Whoops. 0 cinquecento 20.03.18 7:46am
cinquecento
Newsjack Rejects - 2

Have you submitted any sketches or one-liners to Newsjack (BBC Radio 4 Extra) which they bloody-cunting-fuckly rejected? Maybe posting them here will help get that mild case of wrath off your chest,...

49 Crayon 19.03.18 7:10pm
Titus
NB's Naughty & Nice list - 2

Hi All, Our lovely Tech Guy has kindly let me borrow the keys to the back office, which mainly contains JoF's old porn stash. However, among all the cobwebs and nipples I have managed to upgrade a...

38 Wrenfoe 18.03.18 6:06pm
Squudge
Time To Tune The Prickers - Yet Again

Some of the tickers (including some of mine, but also some good, funny ones as well) seem to have been up for ages and well past their sell-by date or topical relevance. Yet once again, we appear to...

8 Titus 18.03.18 11:05am
IT Department
Food Hygiene, a genuine TrueBiscuit

Two weeks ago, I visited a Waitrose branch and was appalled by the blatant disregard for food hygiene. The Waitrose Customer Service Team tried to fob me off with a gift voucher. They addressed...

5 Arthur 18.03.18 8:23am
Arthur
John Gray, Philosopher

Interesting to hear him on BBC Radio Four's [i]Desert Island Discs[/i] this morning. As a professor at the LSE and writer for the [i]Guardian[/i] and the [i]New Statesman[/i], he is clearly not...

6 Titus 17.03.18 4:26pm
Crayon
"A Brief History of Time"

- Posted as a tribute to the great Wheelchair Warrior - One of the most stupid phrases you used to hear parroted by the chattering classes was that this famous best-selling book of Hawking's was...

13 Titus 17.03.18 1:33am
Midfield Diamond
Truebiscuit: Back up your brain, but not now.

[url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-43394758]Link to BBC News[/url]...

1 Gary Baldy 14.03.18 8:49pm
riesler
Craft of Comedy UK 2018.

Shout out for Craft of Comedy UK 2018 Venue Cymru Llandudno (Fab location), Latest info Writers Competition send in your sketches and sitcoms,to win, FREE TICKETS!, Full details on their...

9 ron cawleyoni 14.03.18 5:58pm
Titus
Blimey, was this the earliest Trump gag on NB?

http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24497...

2 Al OPecia 14.03.18 5:34pm
Wrenfoe
i will stand up to putin even if i get shooting

i will stand up to putin even if i get shooting 14.03.18 not prepared to be silent to some this won't fright may i bring to your attention violent was the strangulation before or after midnight....

0 addicted2news 14.03.18 2:12pm
addicted2news
Stephen Hawking a tribute...

Just told my elderly father-in-law that Stephen Hawking died ME: Stephen Hawking has died. FIL: Who? ME: Stephen Hawking the Cosmologistthe one in the wheelchair. FIL: Don't know him. ME: Yes...

4 Dick Everyman 14.03.18 1:15pm
Midfield Diamond
maybe not 6 Gerontius 14.03.18 7:32am
Dick Everyman
Oi Rikkor, whither Iowa?

As I've said before all my other US friends are hikers who a) stopped noticing politics around the mid-eighties and b) would vote for T.R Roosevelt every time on the grounds he seems real outdoorsy....

7 shitsu_tonka 14.03.18 7:13am
Dick Everyman
Any good ones from Ken Dodd?

I only remember his TV performances, which I have to admit I found rather weak and silly rather than funny. His live performances apparently went on for hours, and I guess may have had more edge to...

17 cinquecento 14.03.18 6:06am
riesler
'Dyslexic' jokes. - 2

There are occasional funny quips using the 'dyslexic person does something unexpected due to spelling error' device, but generally they come across as weak, and usually because the structure of the...

44 Benvoleo 13.03.18 9:29pm
Benvoleo
Wrong room 0 Al OPecia 13.03.18 8:26pm
Al OPecia
Douglas Adams Is Still Dead

Douglas Adams' original, wildly imaginative [i]Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy[/i] was utterly absurd but it was coherent. It had form, clarity and focus and was driven by its own internal logic....

4 Titus 13.03.18 12:01pm
cinquecento
Advice for Remainians / Dan Hannan Interview - 2

If you are a Remainian who is profoundly worried about Brexit and its consequences, and particularly if you are one who would like to see a second referendum, it is pretty obvious that, before any...

38 Titus 12.03.18 6:06pm
Sinnick
Have you been affected by the snow? Share your pain / experiences here... - 2

I'll kick off. Left Mid Wales for France on Friday afternoon, the A roads were a bit dodgy but safe enough, motorways clear and free from ice and snow and people were driving sensibly. Pleased with...

36 Dick Everyman 10.03.18 2:27pm
beau-jolly
Trump & N Korea

Deja vu all over again. Nice, noble, [i]good[/i] president John Kennedy took the USA into Vietnam. Nasty, criminal [i]bad[/i] president Richard Nixon took 'em out. And opened up dipolomatic...

4 Titus 09.03.18 3:16pm
Benvoleo
Poisoned Russians

In my daughter's words,"The local papers are jizzing themselves"., The local top cop announced that the case was being handed to the Met. His name tag said Temporary Chief Constable. I suspect the...

6 beau-jolly 09.03.18 2:26pm
riesler
I received an e-mailed apology

The email included: … I have been advised that my letter was delivered to you on plain paper and not our company stationary. At [i]*company name removed*[/i] we pride ourselves on our attention...

2 Midfield Diamond 09.03.18 12:24pm
Arthur
Reality funnier than satire?

Did you all see this? Primary school sorry for asking pupils to pull faces to ‘look Chinese’ for photo...

27 dominic_mcg 09.03.18 11:51am
Gerontius
If you ever need an example of the Peter Principle in action...

Look no further than Boris. I was shouting at him on the radio again this morning. He has surely reached peak incompetence. I would have thought that his hopes for The Big Job have probably gone now...

7 Scroat 08.03.18 12:14pm
beau-jolly
Which Jeremy?

Who's the bigger c**t, Clarkson or Kyle?...

11 sydalg 07.03.18 6:26am
Gerontius
More magical thinking from the Tories.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-43279177 Let Councils build affordable homes for rent, and allow Thatcher to spin in her grave...

3 Al OPecia 05.03.18 10:48pm
Sinnick
February WOTM competion - 2

Week 1 and nickb is well in the lead, but with Gero, harrypalmer and YB on his tail. A clearer image of the leaderboard with links to the first week's published subs is on the...

30 throngsman 03.03.18 2:01pm
Iroquois Pliskin
Seasonal Salutation - 2

[i]Corbyn is red, Theresa is blue, We love Europeans, But not the EU[/i]...

34 Titus 02.03.18 11:02am
Crayon
Any relation?

[url=http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/08/13/00/433496A300000578-4785518-image-a-17_1502579173113.jpg]Stanley Green, protein man.[/url]...

12 sydalg 28.02.18 10:16pm
riesler