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Happy (Nearly) New Year

Hello, my favourite bunch of old crumbs. How the heck are you all? I'm guessing the Lemmy/Bowie double-header hit this crowd hard - I trust that your most recent prescriptions have taken that all...

11 Mary Evans 18.01.16 12:36am
Leaky helmet just down to age claims Astronaut

Bollocks wrong room, just down to age....

4 godly1966 16.01.16 9:00pm
Libel laws?

Is it just me, or do we seem to be giving far too much protection to the living (particularly the rich) and far too little to the dead...

12 Wrenfoe 16.01.16 10:07am
NewsBiscuit Publishes New Tickers

Nah, only kidding. Pure fantasy ...

0 Titus 16.01.16 8:36am
Well I'm going down the pub. - 2

I haven't really done that much, but I've tidied the kitchen, done a bit of gardening, taken some rubbish to the dump and picked up the dry cleaning, so I might as well spend the afternoon in the pub...

36 Golgo13 15.01.16 6:00pm
Bowie Tributes - 2

Is it just me or do your facebook posts (by other people) show an increasing desperation to find the most obscure clip? One of my earliest memories was playing Ziggy Stardust on my sister's...

32 beau-jolly 14.01.16 3:33pm
bowie truebiscuit This spoof story, about Bowie serenading curry house patrons in Suffolk on New Years Eve was picked up and recycled as true news by Sky...

0 nickb 13.01.16 4:20pm
Massive pile of cash worried Jerry Hall might only be after the Australian

Wrong room of course...

2 Adrian Bamforth 12.01.16 9:34pm
Adrian Bamforth
Jerry and Rupe

Woman who spent 20 years fondling Mick Jagger's wrinkly old scrotum finally ends search for replacement...

0 Gerontius 12.01.16 7:00pm
UBI - works for me - 2

Great idea., Well said that man...

43 Gerontius 12.01.16 1:50pm
Here's one for Midfield Diamond

3 ronseal 11.01.16 6:33pm
Midfield Diamond
There can be only one...

site update per day at the moment. Making it quite hard to get anything published right now! I think we have approximately upwards of 40 submissions (a third of which are fully worded articles) a...

3 SimonJJames 11.01.16 5:43pm
BBC reporting at its finest

"Manchester City captain Vincent Kompany was one of those on board a charter plane which left the runway during take-off" I suspect it'll be corrected as soon as a BBC editor drops in...

2 Sinnick 11.01.16 11:18am
Adrian Bamforth
Anglican Church to continue argument over plain, milk or original digestives

someone must write this - has it been done?...

0 rogerg 11.01.16 7:57am
Stench of Cologne

C4 news this evening, Krishnan Guru-Murthy asked 'Nigel Farage, are you exploiting this?' Nigel <nods emphatically>, [awkward pause]...

2 Squudge 10.01.16 9:45am
Al OPecia
Lemmy's funeral

Any truth in the rumour the funeral directors were called 'Ace of Spades', Just askin'...

0 Gerontius 10.01.16 9:28am
Politische Korrektheit

(Dunno if that's the correct traslation or idiom, but if it isn't, blame Babelfish.) Fascinating the see the politically-correct lot in Germany tying themselves in knots over a reported mass groping...

0 Titus 08.01.16 7:31pm
Heavy Metal

Should one of new newly-created elements be named Lemmyium?...

6 Titus 08.01.16 4:31pm
Sir Lupus
BBC- No jokes allowed about Corbyn?

Barry Humphries said he was not allowed to make a joke about corbyn unless he also made one about cameron. So remember that if you want to work in the Balanced Bollocks Corporation...

7 Dun Dunkin 08.01.16 3:58pm
S J Roe
ISIS maniac was a bouncy castle salesman... surely there's a story?

I can't seem to find anyone who's worked with this angle surely there's a something there? All I can come up with is that he might have been drawn into running a mosque after making a living telling...

2 Adrian Bamforth 08.01.16 2:44pm
Al OPecia
The Labour Party - 23121314

Had to laugh. Alastair Campbell is the latest to urge caution about Jeremy Corbyn. Everyone's saying it will be a disaster if he wins the leadership election, but they seem to have forgotten the...

411 Scroat 08.01.16 12:29am
Whoopee we have a whole Top Ten. 0 godly1966 05.01.16 7:46pm
Truebiscuit - "Is that a gun in your cycling shorts..."

GMP City Centre ✔ @GMPCityCentre, Call from female reporting a male in lycra cycling shorts with an erection at Piccadilly tram stop. Patrols on route to take a look.., 4:35 PM - 29 Dec 2015...

14 andyiong 05.01.16 4:11pm
ISIS changing their name to So Called

Having not changed their name for at least 6 weeks, ISIS leaders have decreed that they will now be known as So Called. Speaking from a ditch outside Raqqa, interrupted by drones flying overhead,...

1 04.01.16 10:50pm
I'm really sorry Throngsman isn't doing his scoring any more -

I have had 5 tickers and 1 NiB in the last week!...

3 Al OPecia 04.01.16 9:07pm
Dun Dunkin
Hot veggie action

[url=]had his chips?[/url] I do hereby solemnly swear that I have not 'fiddled with' this little fellow in any way. I just got him out of the...

2 Squudge 02.01.16 10:32am
New Year resolutions

I resolve to write at least one ticker in 2016. Other resolutions:, Find and marry a rich woman., Don't drink any more - don't drink any less., um..that's it. Over to you...

16 beau-jolly 02.01.16 10:22am
'Outdoorsy types' secretly disappointed with FRANK

Whilst some people in the UK were greatly affected by FRANK there was a large group of people throughout the country who were secretly envious of their plight, one of whom was Mr. Dome Tentman from...

1 01.01.16 3:16pm
Happy Mahogany everybody...

365 days till New Year...

1 Scroat 01.01.16 9:02am
Letwin expenses included tennis court repair and aga servicing

After saying it was no good giving public money to black people because they would spend it on drugs we see what he spent the public money on...

0 Dun Dunkin 31.12.15 12:03pm
Dun Dunkin