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Slow down, you move too fast.

I hate getting this message from the forum just because I'm type quickly. Of course, I get this a lot from women too...

0 bonjonelson 13.01.11 11:56am
@Dicky37 - excellent FP, really made me LOL. 3 malgor 13.01.11 9:43am
Will someone please snuff out Greg Various?

He has not done sufficient time here to attempt to make us all feel guilty about the floods in Australia. As one of the most annoyong NB-ers ever, I can state with assurance that he has gone beyond...

7 rikkor 13.01.11 8:48am
Lars Torders
A Front Page Load of Monkeys

Well done to the prophetically initialled AWOM for popping FP and NIB cherries on the same day. Neat work...

1 wallster 12.01.11 6:24pm
Good article about downgrading the status of Pluto (for nerds). This nerd liked it, at least. Oh, my intergalactic ass hurts...

1 rikkor 12.01.11 9:30am
Zadok the second
Nice FP Oxymoron

I'll give you that one. Good work from the Newsbiscuit Editorial Team too. And Red...

2 fun and games 11.01.11 2:25pm
Comedy Museum - Now Open. - 2345

Which item would you like to put into the NewsBiscuit Comedy Museum? I'll start the ball rolling with [url=]SID JAMES CACKLE[/url] Although the Carry On...

140 Stan 11.01.11 1:17pm
Brilliant FP Skylarking

Make me chuckle on a really shite Monday morning. Thank you for raising the spirits. Excellent stuff! Proust rounded it off nicely too...

5 Scroat 10.01.11 5:12pm
Diana FP: "magisterially"???

Sirs: I was an early and ardent supporter of this FP. But "magisterially"? Maybe "majestically"? One of the small flickers of hope in the hearts of literate Americans is that British people...

11 rikkor 10.01.11 3:58pm
What is wrong with frank's Ex Elen Rives ,he leaves a tea cup out and she

scolds him .No wonder he ditched the B.h.Some wimmin just don`t know when they have it good ...

4 Malcum eggs 10.01.11 1:50pm
. 3 the coarse whisperer 10.01.11 8:51am
victory V
Gawd! In Colchester. They'll always be an England. I'm booking my trip right now...

5 rikkor 09.01.11 11:31am
Gravatar disappearing

Just re-added my pic, a lot of people's seem to have disappeared. Possibly to do with changing email address. Mabye we should have a new year/new thumbnail compo...

0 MADJEZ 09.01.11 11:09am
S 6 Malcum eggs 09.01.11 6:32am
Malcum eggs
"more soon..." archive?

Is there an archive of the "more soon" ticker headlines anywhere, or do they just vanish off into the electronic afterlife somewhere when replaced?...

2 bonjonelson 09.01.11 1:00am
Laurel & Ludy

You chaps have, to use the common parlance du jour, [i]owned[/i] the FP this week. Well done to Ronseal too, and to some people claiming to be an editorial team or something (do we have those here?)...

7 wallster 08.01.11 6:57pm
The All New Jeni B
Is david chaytor the tip of the Twatberg and should more be jailed

2 Malcum eggs 08.01.11 2:15am
Malcum eggs
Royal Wedding to feature 3D holographic Diana the peoples' projection - Wow

[creep]Ludicity, damn you, that's the best FP I've read in a [i]long [/i]time. ‘This is not in any way creepy and is exactly what the public wants.’ Pure class - award yourself a glass of red...

7 thisisall1word 07.01.11 9:25pm
fun and games
Podcast on how to get into comedy writing

I haven't listened to this myself, so I post it here with no knowledge of whether the advice is sound or not. Let me know in ten years time when you have a hit BBC1 sit-com...

2 editor 07.01.11 8:32pm
The dark side of Mr Whippy

Recent research by the WHO has revealed that worldwide, over a quarter of places in long-term psychiatric institutions are now occupied by former travelling ice-cream salesman. In over 90% of cases,...

1 georgeh 07.01.11 5:13pm
Two Jags Prescott disguises himeself as Jack Duckworth to get an Ad slot

[url=]Will the real John Prescott please floor a voter[/url]...

0 brownpaperreporter 07.01.11 1:02pm
The new cricket Nostradamus is an Australian!

[url=]10 Reasons Why the Poms Won't Win[/url] from last November., I wonder if he's related to EW...

3 Nick McCarr 07.01.11 12:54pm
Ambridge fans in backlash against Lamb Swap storyline

ewe never know...

0 Erlang 07.01.11 10:08am
Surely can't be based on fact?

0 victory V 07.01.11 9:27am
victory V
Does anybody else still buy albums and CDs or is it just me?

Surely a record collection defines you, throws a light on your life, helps you recall the highs and lows along life’s rocky highway, gives you an identity, opens up portals., I can still remember...

8 Gerontius 06.01.11 10:43pm
mr blue
Give it a rest

I can't see any of these 'jokes' about Jo Yeates making it to the ticker or FP so can you all please give up posting all that unfunny, heartless crap here? If you want to share those thoughts, stick...

12 wallster 06.01.11 11:11am
Malcum eggs
The time traveller's wife

Man marries own daughter, eventually becomes own grandfather?

2 riesler 06.01.11 6:56am
the coarse whisperer
Miliband says that VAT increase unfairly targets people who spend money. 0 deskpilot3 05.01.11 8:48pm
20% VAT is doing my head in

I've been up since 10am today trying to work out the exact VAT the company needs to pay on each double pack of washing up gloves and I'm still fucking at it. Can anyone else help? To get the old VAT...

3 thisisall1word 05.01.11 6:27pm
Does anyone have any predictions for 2011?

I've been looking at my tea leaves (a good trick when I only drink coffee) and have 'seen' the following happening this year: - The England football team will win a match but not play very well,...

6 ianslat 05.01.11 6:21pm