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November Writer of the Month Competition

Another month, another WOTM comp. Currently Wrenfoe is attempting to reassert his mug, however harrypalmer is having a strong run so it's still very early days. To view the successful headlines,...

28 throngsman 02.12.17 2:12pm
chrisf
Only 1% of geniuses can answer this teaser correctly!

You’re adrift in a lifeboat together with ten famous film stars, olympic gold medallists and British cabinet ministers. The lifeboat is overloaded and will sink. On the other hand, you need ten...

8 Marketing Department 30.11.17 7:53pm
Marketing Department
Golf Club Membership Fees

David Davis is at the golf club returning his locker key when Michel Barnier the membership secretary sees him. "Hello Mr Davis", says Mr Barnier. "I'm sorry to hear you are no longer renewing your...

28 Titus 30.11.17 7:15pm
Newscat
Funding a referendum..

It occurred to me that the likely Brexit bill divided by the number of leave voters works out about £2500 a head. Now given the passion it raises, had we punted that figure up front and charged...

5 cinquecento 29.11.17 2:43pm
Sir Lupus
BBC Radio 4, 'A Good Read'

[i]Comedians Nish Kumar and Katy Brand tell Harriett Gilbert about their favourite books. Katy's choice is the hilarious Portnoy's Complaint by Philip Roth. But does it still stand up after all these...

0 Scroat 29.11.17 1:02pm
Scroat
An FP about Effing Eastenders?

This must scale the heights of mediocracy . The Archers, just about acceptable, Rag Tag and Bobtail, bring it on, but effing Eastenders? Fuck off!...

7 ramblesid 29.11.17 7:23am
Squudge
Man Who Posted In Wrong Room On Website 'Clearly A Racist'

More righteous outrage soon ...

0 Titus 27.11.17 12:43pm
Titus
I can't stop laughing

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/347/075/6c1.jpg...

9 Al OPecia 25.11.17 7:04pm
Daddy's Little Helper
What would you put on Mugabe's leaving card?

"All the best for a rapid decline into irrelevance, senility and death?"...

14 cinquecento 25.11.17 8:21am
Titus
Please evaluate hopefully-not-racist-joke:

We're in generic Scotland:, [quote], H: Hey Tam, did you hear aboot that Zimbabwean bloodless coup?, T: Bloodless coo? Ya mean "[i]Halal[/i]"?, [/quote], The joke here, as far as I can tell, is...

7 gaijintendo 24.11.17 4:03pm
Sinnick
Poogle?

China launched a toilet-finding platform to help identify 330,000 public toilets: https://qz.com/1134600/china-launched-a-toilet-finding-platform-to-help-identify-330000-public-toilets/...

2 Dumbnews 24.11.17 10:05am
Titus
I must have been delusional to think that Brexiteers have no clue ...

glad to see the detailed Brexit Plan emerging,I knew Johnson, Davis, Gove, Fox et al were putting the complete package to the Electorate during the Referendum campaign, why I was so worried, I must...

0 Al OPecia 21.11.17 11:32am
Al OPecia
Robert on that naughty step..Right Now!!......[err wrong room oops] 0 ron cawleyoni 20.11.17 11:29am
ron cawleyoni
A wealthy reader has donated one million stars for us to share among ourselves

Suggestions, please...

4 Tinker Bell 19.11.17 11:40pm
Dick Everyman
TrueBiscuit: Tory MP Says Getting 13 Death Threats In 1 Week Is 'Very Unlucky'

Radio Four this morning - Anna Soubry, I believe it was. Bad. She actually has my sympathy. The worst I get it regularly being to to fuck off, and I think I can just about cope with that. At...

5 Titus 19.11.17 7:28pm
Titus
Do’nt know how and when to use’ apostrophe’s?

[url=https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fucking-Apostrophes-Simon-Griffin/dp/1785781413//]Stocking filler[/url] that Titus will buy for us all...

9 Midfield Diamond 19.11.17 7:20pm
Titus
Coming soon to the NewsBiscuit Chat Room: How To Do Colons

Subscribe now and get a semicolon free...

4 Proofreader 19.11.17 6:36pm
Idiot
The Now Show

Just been listening. Rubbish. Shame - it used to be good. Well compared to [i]The News Quiz[/i], it was good. Even the most mediocre writers here could do a better job ...

4 Titus 18.11.17 8:32am
Titus
TrueBiscuit. Oh dear.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/42032629 https://twitter.com/livgrantier/status/931367616119111683~/news/42032629...

0 Sinnick 17.11.17 9:47pm
Sinnick
Greggs sorry for replacing Jesus with a sausage roll

top ticker from the Beeb: [url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/41997936/greggs-sorry-for-swapping-jesus-for-sausage-roll-in-nativity-scene]Greggs sorry for swapping Jesus for sausage...

20 Sir Lupus 17.11.17 4:08pm
Sinnick
Damn 1 cinquecento 17.11.17 3:06pm
Lucy van Pelt
Fact

Why does the addition of the suffix (or is it, technically, an appendix?) 'Fact!' after statement immediately cast doubt on the veracity of that statement? Sad! ...

4 Titus 15.11.17 2:55pm
Tinker Bell
Some real life Alan Partridge goings on here...

[url=http://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/hull-troll-told-website-admin-756942]High drama on the Norfolk Broads[/url]...

2 Idiot 15.11.17 1:53pm
Adrian Bamforth
Shy, Sensitive, Vulnerable Young Would-Be Satirist Bullied On Spoof News Website

[quote]Fuck off Titus.[/quote] Who do I report this to, please? (At least no-one has tried to touch my knee. Yet.)...

5 Titus 13.11.17 5:06pm
ronseal
October Writer of the Month Competition

A good start to the month with three writers vying for pole position and a gaggle following up behind. If you want to see the list (and follow the hyperlinks to read the stories again) then mosey on...

28 throngsman 13.11.17 5:07am
Office for National Statistics
Wrong room.

At least, that's what she said...

1 dominic_mcg 12.11.17 7:46pm
Titus
Astronomers Believe Fairies Are Taking The Piss In The NB Writers' Room

Jus' sayin' ...

26 Titus 12.11.17 5:06pm
Marketing Department
Truebiscuit: Cat owners now checking their pets' arses...

[url=https://www.indy100.com/article/a-woman-found-donald-trump-in-her-dogs-ear-8040191]Woman found Donald Trump in her dog's ear[/url]...

1 Dick Everyman 10.11.17 8:11am
Titus
Nigella...

For my money, probably the most irritating person on television at the moment. Her latest series of cookery programmes is mind-numbingly awful. All the poncing around in her dressing gown and...

6 Scroat 09.11.17 12:52pm
beau-jolly
Truebiscuit: James Corden to be voice of Peter Rabbit

You know, the character who eats lettuce...

0 Oxbridge 08.11.17 4:48pm
Oxbridge