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Man-Knitting. Be confident. Reclaim the art and relive your Scout days.

Something for that key-ring, a lanyard for the penknife. A wrist loop for the torch. Put the kettle on, make a pot, settle down and 'just do it'. The stuff's all on Amazon and can be delivered to...

19 16.04.11 4:04am
I made a bread crumb stuffing for haddock tonight.

Bread crumbs, lots of butter, more salt than you would think, sauteed onions and garlic (not too much), tarragon, lemon juice (a lot), and something tomato. The tomato can be chopped, tomato paste,...

21 rikkor 15.04.11 7:17pm
Chicken comes before egg.

Hence the smirk...

0 OldThingy 15.04.11 6:42pm
Hybrid cars 'live longer' - report

AA spokesman describes research as 'idiotic'...

0 15.04.11 6:36pm
Re today's FP: Is it just me....? - 2

Or are we (collectively, not just satirists) giving the Lib Dems a ton of grief for compromising their principles, while giving the Tories an easy ride for never having any in the first place? And...

44 Oxbridge 15.04.11 4:02pm
Khadafy and Charlie Sheen inked to costar in Al Jazeera sitcom.

The Al Jazeera television network announced today that it would start producing its first situation comedy, and they had signed Mouammar Khadafi and Charlie Sheen as its leading men. This press...

0 Tom Sarvay 15.04.11 1:43pm
Tom Sarvay
Old news

Channel 4 news was just on, but then Mrs Q noticed that the kids had paused Hollyoaks earlier for tea and we were indeed hearing old news. She's put the end of Eastenders on instead, but to be honest...

2 QorbeQ 14.04.11 6:41pm
Now. Some people think British people are a bit crazy. I wonder why?...

3 Scroat 14.04.11 12:01pm
MODERATOR - CAN YOU PLEASE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS[center][i]"Acclaimed equalities campaigner still...

11 13.04.11 3:48pm
One of the best FPs for ages

Topical, witty, germaine, and very funny. Laugh out loud stuff I thought. And some class tickers too...

6 Scroat 13.04.11 1:37pm
Mary Evans
Fine FP Gengho

Good jokes and parallels, rounded off by correct spelling of Middlesbrough...

8 Des Custard 13.04.11 10:01am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Has the Daily Mail ripped off a Newsbiscuit idea?

Just seen this on the Daily Mail web site

2 ronseal 13.04.11 7:14am
"I don't believe it" time If they plan to add iodine to salt, is this the same salt that chip shops are being advised to hide under the counter???...

1 riesler 12.04.11 2:24pm
Sometimes you just don't have to make it up. Great name for a Secretary, to boot...

2 FormerlyAlOPecia 11.04.11 9:30pm
be reasonable
Rikkor, is there life after Glenn Beck?

Now the Glenopocalpyse has happened and he has been given the push is there anyone else waiting in the wings? You have a much better class of extremist nutter in the US, they are deeply...

19 shitsu_tonka 11.04.11 6:43pm
be reasonable
Do you suppose that Gbagbo is hoping that his Special Adviser is going to

come up with an escape plan?:

0 FormerlyAlOPecia 11.04.11 4:10pm
Corgi win rights to produce Royal Wedding action toys

Wrong room sorry haven't posted anything for months and even this isn't that good. Hisstigness...

0 Iamthestig 11.04.11 3:16pm
Hoe do you undo a sub?

Just posted the same sun twice. 3 times if you count the previous version. I've learnt to edit but how do you withdraw. I guess I could edit it down to nowt but is there a better way?...

9 beau-jolly 11.04.11 11:30am
Oh dear, I agree with Rikkor

I was going to concur with dear rik in the writers' room but that would have moved the Pulp fiction sub out of its inevitable obscurity...

4 beau-jolly 11.04.11 11:21am
What ever happened to?

Anybody know?...

2 Basil_B 10.04.11 9:13pm
Great FP

I know it was written by proper people and all that so this may read as a mild toady, but I thought it was splendid. Had me cringing in recognition. My Dad still insists on referring to his...

0 shitsu_tonka 10.04.11 6:45am

Just noticed that on the firefox tab for this page it says 'newbiscuit' not news. Just thought someone might want to know, not sure who though...

1 Screenie 09.04.11 9:44pm
Amazing Royal Wedding Twaddle.

You should see the stuff that "respectable" newspapers and journals are publishing here. I think the writers just sit down at their keyboards and let fly with whatever improbabilities come to mind....

2 rikkor 09.04.11 7:08pm
Thank G-d we are killing socialized medicine here...

before it even gets started. If we don't, Canadians with money who require routine surgery will have to fly to Venezuela instead. As it is, they cross a bridge to Detroit, which is only slightly...

2 rikkor 09.04.11 6:03pm
Nick Clegg caption competition Any offers?...

3 Scroat 09.04.11 8:01am
Whoever edited the Top Gear piece did a brilliant job!

I'm liking what you did, mysterious man or woman behind the scenes. Now go out and enjoy the sun! Or indeed The Sun. (There's a column by Jeremy Clarkson in there on Saturdays)...

0 ronseal 09.04.11 6:46am
I met a single woman on

who states in her profile "I love to get stoned." What do you suppose that means?...

4 rikkor 08.04.11 10:58pm
Spoken in jest

There is a saying that many a true word is spoken in jest. Reading some of the topics on Newsbiscuit It is sometimes hard to tell in some reports, where truth departs from funny fiction; which in...

2 OldThingy 08.04.11 7:02pm
Does anyone want a cement mixer? You have to pick it up though.

My friend's buggered off, and left me to clear out his lock up. Does anyone needs any roofing or guttering materials? Or wood? Tools? You can have the cement mixer free, as the wheel's a bit...

15 ronseal 08.04.11 6:53pm
Is it me...

or does Portuguese sound a bit Eastern European? Any enlightened soul like to comment? (Unlikely around here, I know, but worth a shot)...

5 FormerlyAlOPecia 08.04.11 6:52pm