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My son who

lives with his mates in a student house was alarmed to see a mouse in the kitchen yesterday, so he went to a hardware store to see if they sold mouse poison. "Sorry mate, but we do sell rubber...

23 antharrison 26.12.11 2:40pm
Hoops McCann
Merry Christmas!

Best wishes for a merry Christmas and happy holidays to all the NB-ers. And, special thoughts for HRH the Duke of Edinburgh who is not well...

12 rikkor 26.12.11 1:30am
Seasoned Gruntings

As I ask fellow Biscuiteers to join me in remembrance of the birthday of the saviour of mankind, Sir Isaac Newton who brought us Gravity, without which we'd all be floating endlessly in space...

2 tedweasel 25.12.11 6:38pm
Al OPecia
I know this is the place to be cynical at all times but...

Merry Christmas Fellow Biscuits! I like it here and it makes me happy. You're all quite strange and nasty - keep up the good work...

21 shitsu_tonka 24.12.11 8:48pm
The All New Jeni B
Xmas drinks - 23

Are there any plans for newsbiscuit drinks this party season? I've just been paid a small fraction of the money the government owes me, so can happily avoid financial ruin and bankruptcy for another...

80 fernandomando 24.12.11 3:20pm
Badly decomposed body found in vicinity of earlier missing persons report

Forensics are on scene, initial reports they are trying to figure out why this person has horns...

0 pogie 24.12.11 1:29am
Bleak Old Shop of Old Toss

Did anyone else cringe to see what a bish BBC2 made of this? Bleak Expectations was such a treat on the steam wireless. Same writer, starrier cast but somehow...

4 Clarky 23.12.11 7:59pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
What story have you written this year that sank without a trace...

.. but, in a fairer world would have made the Pulitzer committee refocus on satirical-parody, and ring you up the day it was posted?...

6 Username 23.12.11 3:44pm
Do People still listen to podcasts? Advice required please

I have an idea I want to work on and would like to ask for advice. I want to make short 5 minute podcasts along the theme of a comedy soap opera set in a housing estate in Glasgow.Something along...

5 Limmy 23.12.11 1:07am
Love the 2013 calendars NIB

Well done, Stan...

1 rickwestwell 22.12.11 3:16pm
Great FP on dictators, ianslat

You missed out Mugabe, who's always off sick at the moment...

2 Sinnick 22.12.11 10:31am
Job vacancy, short term Christmas contract.

Whilst on a training flight early this morning, tragedy struck the revered figure, known in many parts of the world as Father Christmas or Santa Claus. It is understood that Santa had been whooping...

1 Newbie 22.12.11 8:04am
Tell loved ones they're fat

[url=]Tell loved ones they're overweight this Christmas[/url] Even if they're not. Just for a laugh...

2 ianslat 22.12.11 12:51am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Boris Buses

Now I may be a hick from the sticks, and I may despise public transport (which is OK, because there isn't any around here), but I like the look of that new Boris Bus. I know from my work for a bus...

10 21.12.11 3:29pm
Son of Barnabas
TrueBiscuit: Kim Jong-il - he was a lovely man

This Guardian piece reads like the best any of us have come up with here! [url=]"Lovely man"[/url]...

0 Son of Barnabas 21.12.11 3:26pm
Son of Barnabas
How is the orange bucket doing..?

Someone posted a picture of a rather lovely orange (?) bucket a few months ago., Is it possible to see an updated photo?, Sorry to say I can't remember who posted the pic, but it was lovely...

0 writinginbsl 21.12.11 1:32pm
Bloomin 'eck-I didn't know about this... an amazing response to an arborial issue...

6 writinginbsl 21.12.11 8:44am
Son of Barnabas
I wonder if they have a policy on wanking in the International Space Station?

The thought arose from another thread. I believe pipes are used for collection of various effluents so they don't go floaty floaty around. But these people are up there a long, long time...

19 Ironduke 20.12.11 8:29pm
Kim Jong Il has cashed in his chips

He won't be missed will he? Won't be a case of "Long live the Kim". Sent his country to the brink of ruin. Mugabe must be next...

2 Nick McCarr 20.12.11 4:34pm
A Country Fresh Christmas to everybody!

And a Happy New Year. And greetings for the Winter Equinox on Wednesday. May your leeks grow long and your tomatoes plump...

2 Scroat 20.12.11 10:17am

1) would be nice to say goodbye to jackwang 2) the inbox of editor & admin both appear to be full. Technical problem ?...

0 Sinnick 20.12.11 9:28am
Tory Council Asks Russia To Crash Rogue Satellite Onto Its Council Estate

The Conservative Council of Buckingham has caused uproar by making a formal request to the Russian Government to direct its runaway Phobos satellite - filled with toxic material, and due to make...

0 1066steve 20.12.11 8:51am
loving Jackwang's Moncler contributions this morning

seldom have I felt to strong and unaccountable an urge to buy a reddish jerkin...

0 cinquecento 20.12.11 8:47am

Anyone else manage to get that story about the BBC no longer going to use the term punchline but 'shared comedic experience line' before they pulled it offline? Encourages violence or soemthing....

1 Username 20.12.11 12:45am
the coarse whisperer
Good old Daily Mail!

[url=]Non Story![/url] A better headline would have been 'Girl spends about...

6 ianslat 19.12.11 10:40pm
Truebiscuit Reminds me of the old gag. "Do you like Dickens?" "Don't know, never been to one" I'll get me...

0 riesler 19.12.11 8:47pm
I'm not sure what's more worrying

[url=]That this story is front page news[/url] or the leadline which starts 'THE showbiz world was...

2 wallster 19.12.11 4:46pm
Dear Editor

Has there been a 'leap day' that no one told me about? There seems to have been an FP somewhere between yesterday's sharply-observed knives one and today's miraculous Bible one. I'm confused, but...

6 Des Custard 19.12.11 1:12pm
Top Ten For The Year?

Perhaps the eds or some of the more diehard users might be able to collate a list of the top ten NB stories of the year? I can't be arsed raking through them all to do it myself but I wouldn't mind...

4 Textbook 19.12.11 10:35am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Masterchef FP

Fine FP, Duff Typo: maybe one of the 's' in "dissappeared" could disappear...

2 Sinnick 19.12.11 8:50am