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Sex and good grammar

Got this in my emails this morning and thought I'd share it. Sex And Good Grammar For all my grammatically correct friends. On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife., The...

1 Major Clanger 05.01.12 3:43pm
Midfield Diamond
I see the Met Office have issued an amber weather warning due to high winds.

Have I missed out on some national meteorological education programme? Should I (e.g.) take my roof down and store it somewhere?...

6 dvo4fun 05.01.12 12:32am
Police station thefts 'astonishing' "Greater Manchester Police was the worst hit, with thieves taking a £10,000 patrol car and £30,000 private vehicle. Among the more unusual stolen items were...

2 simonjmr 05.01.12 12:20am
Happy New Year Biscuit Barrel

I hope you are all painting your towns red, or whatever else befits your political allegiance. I have been in my pyjamas since 6.30pm, which is indicative of the wild NYE awaiting me. Ooooh,...

19 Mary Evans 04.01.12 1:48pm
Son of Barnabas
I`ve found christwire

[url=]Here.[/url] I dont think I would have twigged right off that it was a parody if I hadnt known from the redirect so nicely done is the satire. Hilariously, most of the...

0 the coarse whisperer 04.01.12 12:39pm
the coarse whisperer
am I the only one disappointed by the NB 'fish4dogs' banner ad..

.. which I assumed was promising a novel sporting activity...

0 cinquecento 03.01.12 12:41pm
I have an obnoxious braggart for a father-in-law.

please could you share your best tips for pissing him off? Believe me, the 'BMW erectile dysfunction' story was a great start...

26 Ironduke 03.01.12 12:13am
the coarse whisperer

How's your head?...

1 dvo4fun 02.01.12 7:13pm
Festive drinking.

OK what did you good folk drink over Christmas?, I must confess that I brought home a good bit of my stock and didn't get around to opening a lot of it. Possibly because I live in a pub and...

23 beau-jolly 31.12.11 4:31pm
Sweary iPhones

I bet no-one ever copies this idea in every phone shop and supermarket in the country...

5 31.12.11 4:01pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Bonjo, great FP! 1 rikkor 30.12.11 5:24pm
I had been thinking of sending some money to Action Aid**

Because their TV ad before Christmas was so specific - 5069 kids at risk. I have to admit that, with all that Turkey to cook and eat I didn't get on with it straight away and now I'm glad that I...

19 dvo4fun 30.12.11 4:28pm
Outstanding media witch-hunt against Clarkson.

Couldn't resist the Daily Star headline so checked out 'Racist Clarkson..' [url=]Nazi Clarkson[/url] An in depth and unbiased...

3 MADJEZ 30.12.11 2:34pm
Embarrassing (and true) Christmas stories

I have 2 to kick it off 1) We seem to have several hundred gifts received via Amazon for the next generation of Sinnicks. These arrive in boxes. So, they need recycling in the blue bin. Therefore,...

10 Sinnick 29.12.11 10:35pm
Nice FP, Quillie

I must admit that I was dead set against enjoying the original, but it was a real page-turner. Had to put snobbishness aside for once...

0 rikkor 28.12.11 4:42pm
Great FP, Golgo

I'm more concerned about the quantity of booze empties in my recycling, not the posh names...

1 rikkor 28.12.11 12:00pm
Hope everyone is having a lovely festive time

That's it! Love to all, you bonkers - but on the whole fabulous - people xxx...

5 allmyownstunts 27.12.11 11:17pm
Congrats on scoring the Christmas No.1 slot Quaz.

It was a cert from the off...

6 The All New Jeni B 27.12.11 10:20am
Why is Noel Fielding playing Ceasar in Gladiator?

Never noticed the resemblance until now, imagine Fielding but stockier and with a hair cut. I keep expecting him to call for Bubblegum Charlie or Bollo to come onto field in the colosseum battle...

0 Quaz 27.12.11 1:06am
where am I

Wedding dresses! What’s all that about. Has newsbiscuit been taken over by bride magazine?, now they have all gone I must of been seeing things...

1 godly1966 27.12.11 12:02am
My son who

lives with his mates in a student house was alarmed to see a mouse in the kitchen yesterday, so he went to a hardware store to see if they sold mouse poison. "Sorry mate, but we do sell rubber...

23 antharrison 26.12.11 2:40pm
Hoops McCann
Merry Christmas!

Best wishes for a merry Christmas and happy holidays to all the NB-ers. And, special thoughts for HRH the Duke of Edinburgh who is not well...

12 rikkor 26.12.11 1:30am
Seasoned Gruntings

As I ask fellow Biscuiteers to join me in remembrance of the birthday of the saviour of mankind, Sir Isaac Newton who brought us Gravity, without which we'd all be floating endlessly in space...

2 tedweasel 25.12.11 6:38pm
Al OPecia
I know this is the place to be cynical at all times but...

Merry Christmas Fellow Biscuits! I like it here and it makes me happy. You're all quite strange and nasty - keep up the good work...

21 shitsu_tonka 24.12.11 8:48pm
The All New Jeni B
Xmas drinks - 23

Are there any plans for newsbiscuit drinks this party season? I've just been paid a small fraction of the money the government owes me, so can happily avoid financial ruin and bankruptcy for another...

80 fernandomando 24.12.11 3:20pm
Badly decomposed body found in vicinity of earlier missing persons report

Forensics are on scene, initial reports they are trying to figure out why this person has horns...

0 pogie 24.12.11 1:29am
Bleak Old Shop of Old Toss

Did anyone else cringe to see what a bish BBC2 made of this? Bleak Expectations was such a treat on the steam wireless. Same writer, starrier cast but somehow...

4 Clarky 23.12.11 7:59pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
What story have you written this year that sank without a trace...

.. but, in a fairer world would have made the Pulitzer committee refocus on satirical-parody, and ring you up the day it was posted?...

6 Username 23.12.11 3:44pm
Do People still listen to podcasts? Advice required please

I have an idea I want to work on and would like to ask for advice. I want to make short 5 minute podcasts along the theme of a comedy soap opera set in a housing estate in Glasgow.Something along...

5 Limmy 23.12.11 1:07am
Love the 2013 calendars NIB

Well done, Stan...

1 rickwestwell 22.12.11 3:16pm