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Falklands 2 Starring Sean Penn

The ex husband of Pop animal Madonna has announced at a sparse but highly excitable press conference in Buenos Aires the title of his new film., Falklands 2 will see Penn take the lead role as Major...

1 don rubber 04.04.12 8:19pm
North vs South Korea football match abandoned after keeper is hit by missile

FIFA President Set Platter has pledged to do everything in his power to ensure lifelong bans for those responsible for the incident which led to South Korea goalkeeper Kim Yip being carried from the...

0 Underconstruction 04.04.12 3:36pm
Hamlet Drinking Game

Tried to combine the joys of drinking, acting and barding. As Biscuits thrive on being funny and drunk all suggestions for rounds and how to make it better and more mirthsome will be gratefully...

2 shitsu_tonka 04.04.12 2:20pm
To settle the Falklands/Malvinas dispute once and for all...

[quote]Let's have a re-run of the infamous 1986 England v Argentina game.and we fingerprint the ball after each goal?...

3 Milesfromnowhere 04.04.12 1:26pm

Someone help me out here - I don't understand the concept of a technocratic government. As far as I can tell, when public confidence in the elected government has fallen so low, they cart them all...

1 Zadok the second 04.04.12 7:53am
Caption competition?, Every time I look at the picture for today's front page I wonder what has been said to make them all laugh so much: "and...

28 Psycadelic Squirrel 04.04.12 7:26am

Counting up the first page in the writers' room and over half the subs have no rating or comments. Are people on here not funny? Is nobody reading other peoples work? Are people reading but not...

41 Perks 03.04.12 7:13pm
There's Wally

Always found these books a frustrating read - have come up with a similar concept for the 'I want this now' generation,...

19 thisisall1word 03.04.12 12:34pm
Dickens or Shakespeare
New US cop show stars the Old Etonian Police Department: West and Lewis OEPD

Dominic West and Damian Lewis are no ordinary maverick cops who don't do things by the book. Because as they walk the tightrope of crime on some of America's meanest streets, each of them is carrying...

1 ronseal 02.04.12 11:05pm

Honestly, what have you got to do to get a front page!!!...

10 grumblechops 02.04.12 9:49pm
I've lost my funny

chorus: you never had it in the first place Now, as a mere browse through any of my posts may show you, my 'funny' wasn't exactly a rampant throbbing V8 supercruiser, more a gentle putt-putting...

20 Ironduke 02.04.12 4:02pm
Stand up for the 2 liner and how many letters are allowed in a ticker?

Is NewsBiscuit missing out on the majority of our best humour? We are reminded that the 2 liner doesn't fit the format. Write a headline, a 1 liner, or go away and write at least a NiB (>2 lines +...

5 weematt 02.04.12 11:27am
'US coastguard helping hurt crew'

Headline on the BBC website: seems a bit harsh. I know people with yachts can be a bit annoying, but there's no need to rub salt in the wounds...

4 01.04.12 10:27pm

Hattip to Godly1966's Shakespearean take on Millet's "now is the winter of their discount-tents" Just how well would Shakespeare fare in advertising and product endorsement? Sadly, but not...

11 Username 01.04.12 7:30pm
Ed! Help! Watch spam!

It's everywhere! Seems attracted to Mr Spongeshaft for some reason...

1 01.04.12 10:13am
Misleading headline... Very disappointing to find that there's no place for our deceased stalwarts of screens big and small....

5 The All New Jeni B 31.03.12 8:39pm
Do Watson and Oliver make anyone else

want to deep-fry their own head as a more humorous alternative to squandering 30 minutes of one's life on this utter pish? Very annoying for two reasons: 1) It's really annoying 2) It inevitably...

24 Mary Evans 31.03.12 1:16pm
Parent Biscuits, you may have shat out a genius

Is your kid an annoying little twerp who won't shut up? According to science (well, what some mad Americans think is science) that means they are a super-evolved being. Check out the list of reasons...

12 shitsu_tonka 31.03.12 12:07am
Francis Maude: A cock or what? Apologies to non-UK chaps

His suggestion today that, in the light of possible strikes by fuel tanker drivers, motorists might consider keeping the odd gallon of unleaded in a jerry can at home. Seems to me that either i)...

8 dvo4fun 30.03.12 6:17pm
Following right on from worst lyrics

[url=]What were they thinking?[/url], Which one do you have in your collection?...

7 beau-jolly 30.03.12 4:25pm
Horse conveniences straight at your door!

It empty? You [url=]hate it[/url]? Throw it a dogging way. Don’t tanker fret it all night in...

18 youbuyitnow 30.03.12 4:10pm
How posh do you have to be to decant your petrol before using it ?

[url=]Woman suffers burns decanting petrol in kitchen.[/url]...

3 MADJEZ 30.03.12 2:39pm
Cette page est laissée intentionnellement vide 8 bonjonelson 30.03.12 2:04pm
Mandy Lifeboat
‘dull and derivative’

Thought I’d post this in here as if I post it on the article where comment/tag resides then it’ll keep getting tediously bumped in and around new material and that’s good for anyone. Anyway,...

8 Qoxiivi 30.03.12 12:49pm
To flounce or not to flounce - a Shakespearean view

To flounce, or not to flounce, that is the question:, Whether 'tis easier in the mind to suffer, The comments and suggestions of outrageous contributors,, Or to take offence against a mass of...

3 seymour totti 30.03.12 10:07am
This IS a flounce


0 writinginbsl 30.03.12 8:34am
This isn't a flounce either.

That's all. As you were...

0 wallster 30.03.12 7:48am
Anyone been up the garage having a panic buy?

Was it fun? Personally I have neither license nor car and cycle everywhere like a smug ponce, but on Facebook am reading stories of queues at the pumps that are quite intense. There has been shoving...

7 shitsu_tonka 30.03.12 7:04am
Happy Birthday Guv'nor

We'll all be round the Newsbiscuit offices later to give you the bumps...

10 wallster 29.03.12 4:47pm
Admin query regarding unsubscribe

I want to cancel the daily news email that I get from newsbiscuit. Could anyone advise how I can do this? (I've changed email address and I want to stop you sending it to the old email.)...

3 Nails UK 29.03.12 2:08pm
Nails UK