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Desert Island Discs

Following Dumb's post in the other place and my semi-drunken, late-ish night reply, how about your desert island discs?, 10 tracks (or fewer) with (very brief)reasons...

1 beau-jolly 06.04.12 2:28pm
I've just finished the "Hunger Games" trilogy...

and all I can say is what a disappointing ending. The first book was good and the film was an excellent telling of the story with all of the implied menace and fear that saturates the lives of the...

5 JohnA 06.04.12 12:22pm
134 million reasons why its "Bye bye Rangers" We dinna hardly ken ye...

2 JohnA 06.04.12 9:10am

Is it too controversial to say that if pandas are that crap at reproducing then evolution dictates they should become extinct. They failed to do the deed yesterday because her tail got in the way at...

21 ianslat 06.04.12 8:34am
Slimmers World's calorie points system proves higher power 0 alanthetortoise 06.04.12 8:04am
Ed - March WoM

Not that I'm in any way in the running, especially as there STILL isn't an incessant gob-shite category, but when will this be announced? Or are you waiting until tomorrow for tax purposes?...

2 The All New Jeni B 05.04.12 11:10pm
The All New Jeni B
Spit and Polish

has Ed been too hasty in removing all the Polish spam? for all we know those posts could have been absolute comedy gold, and just wanted a bit of translating...

5 pere floza 05.04.12 2:03pm
Anyone rang that Polish advert for Zadzwon Pod at the top, as I need a plumber

The cartoon Character in it looks like a Chigley Chav, has Newsbiscuit been outsourced to Eastrern Europe...

0 Scronnyglonkle 05.04.12 12:51pm
Panda's keepers to try WKD next. 'Works with teenage girls' says expert. 3 MADJEZ 05.04.12 11:08am
My TV shame

Saw about half a minute of Samantha Brick being interviewed this morning on Lorraine. I think she perhaps perceives herself as being more attractive than she really is...

5 Scroat 05.04.12 10:53am
Scary Weirdoes

Do you know that ditty by Mitch Benn where he looks in the mirror and realises that he is that scary weirdo on the bus?, I've just looked back over my posting history and would like to apologise...

5 beau-jolly 05.04.12 7:22am
Falklands 2 Starring Sean Penn

The ex husband of Pop animal Madonna has announced at a sparse but highly excitable press conference in Buenos Aires the title of his new film., Falklands 2 will see Penn take the lead role as Major...

1 don rubber 04.04.12 8:19pm
North vs South Korea football match abandoned after keeper is hit by missile

FIFA President Set Platter has pledged to do everything in his power to ensure lifelong bans for those responsible for the incident which led to South Korea goalkeeper Kim Yip being carried from the...

0 Underconstruction 04.04.12 3:36pm
Hamlet Drinking Game

Tried to combine the joys of drinking, acting and barding. As Biscuits thrive on being funny and drunk all suggestions for rounds and how to make it better and more mirthsome will be gratefully...

2 shitsu_tonka 04.04.12 2:20pm
To settle the Falklands/Malvinas dispute once and for all...

[quote]Let's have a re-run of the infamous 1986 England v Argentina game.and we fingerprint the ball after each goal?...

3 Milesfromnowhere 04.04.12 1:26pm

Someone help me out here - I don't understand the concept of a technocratic government. As far as I can tell, when public confidence in the elected government has fallen so low, they cart them all...

1 Zadok the second 04.04.12 7:53am
Caption competition?, Every time I look at the picture for today's front page I wonder what has been said to make them all laugh so much: "and...

28 Psycadelic Squirrel 04.04.12 7:26am

Counting up the first page in the writers' room and over half the subs have no rating or comments. Are people on here not funny? Is nobody reading other peoples work? Are people reading but not...

41 Perks 03.04.12 7:13pm
There's Wally

Always found these books a frustrating read - have come up with a similar concept for the 'I want this now' generation,...

19 thisisall1word 03.04.12 12:34pm
Dickens or Shakespeare
New US cop show stars the Old Etonian Police Department: West and Lewis OEPD

Dominic West and Damian Lewis are no ordinary maverick cops who don't do things by the book. Because as they walk the tightrope of crime on some of America's meanest streets, each of them is carrying...

1 ronseal 02.04.12 11:05pm

Honestly, what have you got to do to get a front page!!!...

10 grumblechops 02.04.12 9:49pm
I've lost my funny

chorus: you never had it in the first place Now, as a mere browse through any of my posts may show you, my 'funny' wasn't exactly a rampant throbbing V8 supercruiser, more a gentle putt-putting...

20 Ironduke 02.04.12 4:02pm
Stand up for the 2 liner and how many letters are allowed in a ticker?

Is NewsBiscuit missing out on the majority of our best humour? We are reminded that the 2 liner doesn't fit the format. Write a headline, a 1 liner, or go away and write at least a NiB (>2 lines +...

5 weematt 02.04.12 11:27am
'US coastguard helping hurt crew'

Headline on the BBC website: seems a bit harsh. I know people with yachts can be a bit annoying, but there's no need to rub salt in the wounds...

4 01.04.12 10:27pm

Hattip to Godly1966's Shakespearean take on Millet's "now is the winter of their discount-tents" Just how well would Shakespeare fare in advertising and product endorsement? Sadly, but not...

11 Username 01.04.12 7:30pm
Ed! Help! Watch spam!

It's everywhere! Seems attracted to Mr Spongeshaft for some reason...

1 01.04.12 10:13am
Misleading headline... Very disappointing to find that there's no place for our deceased stalwarts of screens big and small....

5 The All New Jeni B 31.03.12 8:39pm
Do Watson and Oliver make anyone else

want to deep-fry their own head as a more humorous alternative to squandering 30 minutes of one's life on this utter pish? Very annoying for two reasons: 1) It's really annoying 2) It inevitably...

24 Mary Evans 31.03.12 1:16pm
Parent Biscuits, you may have shat out a genius

Is your kid an annoying little twerp who won't shut up? According to science (well, what some mad Americans think is science) that means they are a super-evolved being. Check out the list of reasons...

12 shitsu_tonka 31.03.12 12:07am
Francis Maude: A cock or what? Apologies to non-UK chaps

His suggestion today that, in the light of possible strikes by fuel tanker drivers, motorists might consider keeping the odd gallon of unleaded in a jerry can at home. Seems to me that either i)...

8 dvo4fun 30.03.12 6:17pm