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First time novel from NewsBiscuit writer

Congratulations to Toasts_Not_Ghosts aka James Mylet whose first novel is published today. Toasts has been a contributor to NewsBiscuit for many years and he credits this site with kick-starting his...

13 editor 06.10.11 12:46am
Quaz
Previously on Newsbiscuit...(and now on The Onion)

Afternoon all. Now I know it's easy to come up with the same comic idea as someone else -- often with a frighteningly similar take -- with no knowledge of the comparable work. I've done it myself...

7 nealdoran 05.10.11 11:30pm
Quaz
Trawling through the archives I stumbled across this...

http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/03/27/grand-prix-halted-police-pull-over-lewis-hamilton-for-having-a-flash-car-069/ And would just like to say that it's absolutely bloody brilliant...

2 Vertically Challenged Giant 05.10.11 10:55pm
dvo4fun
Heseltine’s looking well...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/worldnews/8808630/The-Duchess-of-Alba-85-one-of-Spains-richest-women-marries-a-man-24-years-younger.html not sure about Maggie, though...

2 John Ffitch-Rucker 05.10.11 10:07pm
shitsu_tonka
Are you sick of Internet bulies kicking sand in your face? You need a Bullworker

Does anyone remember those Bullworker adverts? Or indeed the bullworker itself? Wouldn't it be great if you could have a keyboard you could squeeze at both ends, so you could surf the internet,...

3 ronseal 05.10.11 8:43pm
FlashArry
Is there occasionally a banner at the top of this site advertising 'Fish dating'

I swear I saw one out of the corner of my eye just as I clicked off the page, can't make it come up now though...

18 Screenie 05.10.11 7:04pm
godly1966
In case you missed it - Daily Mail runs with Knox appeal rejected story

http://www.journalism.co.uk/news/daily-mail-criticised-over-amanda-knox-guilty-story-/s2/a546216/ hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

4 thisisall1word 05.10.11 11:26am
Tammy Flugh
A return to traditional values...

with a nice, silly FP. Bravo!...

4 riesler 05.10.11 11:00am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Multi tasking extremes

apparently some twat driving on M27 was nicked for using his laptop and writing answers to popmaster while drinking coffee and indicating. I get confused if asked a question while cutting up a...

3 vertical 05.10.11 10:23am
bonjonelson
Today's FP

A different story, but reminiscent of http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2008/11/30/woman-eats-banana-in-public-place-without-feeling-self-conscious-416/...

3 fun and games 04.10.11 9:06pm
The All New Jeni B
Moral Maze: Is it ever okay to black up?

Am going to a Batman party and rather than join the ranks of many Batmans, Jokers and Harley Quinns thought I'd be different and go as Lucius Fox as played in the last two films by Morgan Freeman....

13 shitsu_tonka 04.10.11 6:11pm
The All New Jeni B
Eds. Ticker has the i before the e.

But 'conceived' doesn't...

2 exigo 04.10.11 5:23pm
exigo
Never a cross word - 2

Anticipating a slow day on Monday I decided to have a crack at the Telegraph criptic but finished it in 2 hours - most unlike me!, It got me thinking: You clever folk can, I'm sure bang one off...

57 beau-jolly 04.10.11 3:48pm
beau-jolly
Who dun it? Fuckin’ Poirot, that who.

For the past few weeks I’ve been amusing myself on tedious car journeys by listening to old Poirot tapes. It strikes me that, in more cases than not, the arrogant little Belgian bastard comes up...

3 beau-jolly 04.10.11 3:14pm
simonjmr
Glad I found this place. - 2

Hi. My name is Richard and I have rubbish in my head...

33 RJWinter 04.10.11 12:52pm
Scroat
Well done Screenie!!! 5 Al OPecia 03.10.11 8:11am
Screenie
So...it turns out my partners are a bunch of cnuts. Come and make me smile.

A frothing smorgasboard of vile insults to hurl would be very welcome...

28 Ironduke 03.10.11 6:43am
dvo4fun
Lunar surface damaged by space vehicles....

.Sore Moon...

1 nickb 02.10.11 8:20pm
dvo4fun
Immortal, invisible god Ernie Wise - missing Songs of Praise comedy tapes found 0 nickb 02.10.11 8:26am
nickb
ARE SUBS FUNNIER IF THE HEADLINE IS UPPER CASE?

Or more a sign of mental unusualness? I AM GOING NOW, I NEED TO DO A POO...

7 02.10.11 8:05am
nickb
oops, wrong room. Move along please 5 beau-jolly 01.10.11 4:08pm
rikkor
Buy a Moncler jacket

Don't ask me why. Just do it...

7 rikkor 01.10.11 8:54am
nickb
FP picture - Solihull looks like a nice place.

Worth a visit?...

4 Stan 30.09.11 7:10pm
Qoxiivi
Crap 50 year conservation project. They're nuts.

So they have spent 50 years clearing the rhododendron bushes from Brownsea Island in an effort to help the red squirrel species grow and thrive again. 50 years! So this is a pretty big project,...

9 SpankyMonkey 30.09.11 2:00pm
beau-jolly
Well this was quite a suprise

http://www.gap-system.org/~history/Biographies/Tits.html He's responsible for describing the "Tits Group" and the "Tits-Koecher" construction...

1 Al OPecia 30.09.11 1:12pm
rikkor
Ig Noble awards

In case you haven't spotted them already BBC summary:, http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-15117051 Ig website:, http://www.improbable.com/...

0 Sinnick 30.09.11 6:43am
Sinnick
Hurrah!!!

I'm a grandad again! Just thought I'd let you know (pauses to light cigar)...

14 riesler 29.09.11 6:41pm
shitsu_tonka
'Man mauled by shark in South Africa 'ignored warnings'

Actual BBC news headline. Surely you can't be 'mauled' by a shark. Chomped up to bits, yeah, but mauled?...

9 Screenie 29.09.11 3:04pm
vertical
Horoscopes

I swear I saw somewhere, possibly in a guidelines to submission or something although I can no longer find it, a suggestion of horoscopes., I like horoscopes., Can we do horoscopes?, horoscopes....

16 Screenie 29.09.11 11:28am
AvidReader
Anyone watch Milliband?

I just can't force myself to give a toss. Not a very intelligent approach to politics I know but there it is...

2 shitsu_tonka 28.09.11 9:28pm
Al OPecia