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Darwin Awards Contender.

Yesterday, the main street of my little suburban town was completely cordoned off., Some apology for a sentient being found an old mortar on a hill in Dundee, drove the 5 miles to Broughty Ferry...

19 The All New Jeni B 13.01.12 4:33pm
The All New Jeni B
Cameron in Saudi to discuss security and trade ties?

King Abdullah doesn't wear a tie, sack the Researcher David...

0 tedweasel 13.01.12 3:35pm
Just read the office manager FB...

Quality. Lovely little switch-around...

0 Qoxiivi 13.01.12 12:33pm
Is Thatcher Dead?

The blogoshpere is all of twitter, but I can't find a truly legit media source. Can it be? Has she passed away? If so good luck to all of you as you write your subs on it...

6 shitsu_tonka 13.01.12 11:30am
Richard Desmond Live

I may be a tad sensitive but RD's appearance before the Leveson enquiry had me watching through my fingers. "Don't misunderstand me, I'm not trying to minimise what we said in the Daily Express...

3 dvo4fun 13.01.12 8:27am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Groupon story edits

Couple of slight mistakes. My emphasis: ‘I managed to survive the whole experience – it was very disappointing,’ said Bertie Jones, 81, from Daventry. ‘Though to be fair, when they saw I...

2 bonjonelson 13.01.12 12:35am
Happy birthday dvo4fun

Would have got you a card signed by us all, but my personnel shopper got arrested in henley so this is the best I could do at short notice...

17 Perks 12.01.12 6:19pm
Scottish independence

Is it just me, or does Alec Salmond's argument sound a bit like a leg saying that the right to be amputated is something for the leg to decide on its own, without consulting the head or the rest of...

12 Zadok the second 12.01.12 4:38pm
Author's query

I'm writing a book about Jeanne d'Arc tentatively titled "Road to Rouen". I am seeking unpublished letters, manuscripts, tweets or graffiti referencing the soi-disant Maid or Orleans. No fats or...

23 rikkor 12.01.12 3:24pm
Food for thought

Following on from the restaurant-based comments in Rikkor's thread, I wondered what was the most disgusting thing you chaps had ever eaten in a restaurant., Mine is definately the chopped up pig's...

22 beau-jolly 12.01.12 2:34pm
Major Clanger
Beyoncing baby girl for Jay-Z 5 beau-jolly 12.01.12 12:18am
The green thing.

This was posted by distant relative on her facebook page; I think it’s worth sharing., Checking out at the supermarket recently, the young cashier suggested I should bring my own bags because...

22 John Ffitch-Rucker 11.01.12 11:10pm
NIB problem

[url=]Currently in the NIB slot[/url], then compare...

5 malgor 11.01.12 10:30pm
newsbiscuit editorial team
A Bad conductor

Button's recent "Incompetent Orchestra" sub reminded me of this joke.. There was once this second-rate orchestra led by a second-rate director. In the orchestra was this guy on the cymbals who...

3 Major Clanger 11.01.12 12:58pm
Ed Milligram

You have to admit, he's a bit of a lightweight...

5 Scroat 11.01.12 10:32am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Quality FP on synchronised swimming, immunis

Many "LOL" moments [last para seems to be right-justified - typo or symbolic ?]...

0 Sinnick 11.01.12 10:24am
Attention All Biscuiteers. If not already done, do read waylands tech savvy sub

for the laugh of the year so far. Honest, I've just read it again...

7 dvo4fun 11.01.12 9:58am
pere floza
What the f*ck is going on? - 2

Why does Anthony Arsehole-Thompson get let off with a caution for shoplifting in my local branch of Tesco? Signs in the store say Shoplifters will be prosecuted. If I pinched a bottle of wine and...

31 Scroat 10.01.12 5:30pm
High speed rail link to cost £16.4billion (£28billion first class)

More rail fares to follow...

0 apepper 10.01.12 3:44pm
ill give this a miss

2 godly1966 10.01.12 8:49am
Son of Barnabas
Happy Birthday Steven Hawkin

Now here's a funny thing. Hawking was "too ill" to attend a symposium to celebrate his 70th birthday so a recorded message was played instead. Does anyone else see a slight edge of irony in this?,...

9 beau-jolly 10.01.12 8:45am
Son of Barnabas

Whoops I have just accidently clicked on a banner add and purchased three Filipino women, I’ve only just sent back two Chinese women I accidently bought before Christmas the postage was a fortune...

3 godly1966 09.01.12 11:38pm
Does anyone else get the giggles from this Evening Standard headline...?

"Sex shop boss: Licences are a strain on our bottom line"...

0 kimllfixit 09.01.12 2:46pm
Clowns trying to find alternative employment

I can picture in my head a sitcom/film/sketch where a clown who never takes his costume off is trying to find a new job, or just going about every day activities. But I can't think where it was from...

9 Vertically Challenged Giant 09.01.12 8:29am
Honda hybrid vehicle

The new Honda hybrid is getting a lot of advertising on telly at the minute, but I'm not sure it's that practical. For starters, while the new fuel is carbon neutral, it can be hard to get hold of...

4 08.01.12 11:17pm
Football: Liverpool to consider appeal against verdicts in Stephen Lawrence case

Spokesman: The authorities appear to have completely ignored Lawrence's own role in the case and the verdicts seem to have been based purely on the evidence presented in court. Would you like a...

0 Gnome 08.01.12 12:59pm
Cameron opens mouth and inserts foot

One day he's going to say something shocking about Jews, I just know it. [url=]Dingus[/url]...

1 shitsu_tonka 08.01.12 7:37am
FP, both NiBs, and the first line of the ticker

Any chance of putting my first ever FP up as an archive one too so I can have the set?? Then I'll take a screenshot of the page and piss off for a bit to actually get some work done...

6 Vertically Challenged Giant 07.01.12 9:50pm
Well I never...

A pornographer named Peacock. What are the chances?,

1 John Ffitch-Rucker 07.01.12 6:47pm
Oi Rikkor, whither Iowa?

As I've said before all my other US friends are hikers who a) stopped noticing politics around the mid-eighties and b) would vote for T.R Roosevelt every time on the grounds he seems real outdoorsy....

6 shitsu_tonka 06.01.12 11:54pm