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what a day of sport!

England thrash the aussies at cricket, Wiggins gets a yellow top, pseudo-brit and all-around good guy Webber wins the grand prix, and Federer takes some upstart to tennis school. Awesome! Does it get...

1 09.07.12 7:30am
Murray mint sales plummet as punters prefer Swiss chocolate

The hurry to buy the so-called “too good to hurry” mint appears to be over as it was announced today that Swiss chocolate has won the coveted Wonkerdom trophy for the 7th time, and is so...

2 MiddleofJowhere 08.07.12 8:24pm
Mr Target
Cookies crumble

The latest cookie-directed advertisement on my email site: No-Dig Pipe Installations - Guied Auger Boring, Directional Drilling, Pipe Ramming, Moling, , What sort of a girl do you think I am?...

1 Nails UK 08.07.12 6:42pm
Mind boggling.

THe following is culled from a Guardian dating website:, [i]Who I'm looking for Not looking for one night of forgetful bliss but many nights of getting to know the world through one anothers eyes....

23 Thor 08.07.12 6:03pm
Go on, Andy! Or not, I really don't care.

Anyone glued to the goings on at SW19?...

5 shitsu_tonka 08.07.12 2:55pm
Are you at the poncy Henley Festival?

If so, can you ask them to turn it down?...

1 Scroat 08.07.12 8:19am
Middle aged divorcee likes long haired hippies

Its cold and wet today so just for fun (honest) I thought I'd take a nose (for purely research reasons) at the This is Dorset lonely hearts. I was surprised at how many "social drinkers" I...

4 beau-jolly 07.07.12 8:50pm
Makes i Laaarf!

I just bloody well love this! [url=]Ok 'fess up, who...

8 beau-jolly 07.07.12 8:15am
Going camping next weekend.. - 2

for the first time since Cub Scout Camp 40 years ago. Any advice, apart from "don't"...

33 Al OPecia 07.07.12 6:38am
'Gove opens time portal at Glastonbury Tor'

‎Michael Gove the self styled education secretary plans on gathering the whole country in a field outside Glastonbury and marching them two by two through a time trench conjured by the wizard...

11 boleroscaramanga 06.07.12 2:47pm
Breaking Norfolk news!

Sorry all, I've had to remove the story as the link was messing up the page size...

4 button 06.07.12 10:28am
‎'PM announces new flagship scheme for university leavers, vagrancy'

David Cameron announced today that an exciting new opportunity was being launched to tackle the epidemic of youth unemployment, the coalition will be opening thousands of positions as hobos all over...

0 boleroscaramanga 05.07.12 6:02pm
‎'Mcguinness set to play cruel practical joke on Queen at tomorrow's prom'

Marty Mcguinness having been bet ten dollars by his jape loving best pal Gerry Adams, has invited dowdy new girl Queen Elizabeth to the prom at stormont tomorrow. The plan is after a slow dance he...

0 boleroscaramanga 05.07.12 6:00pm
‎'Shadow cabinet eat banker in party drug cannibal holocaust'

In a grizzly new twist to the ongoing banking scandal Ed Miliband and Ed Balls were found chewing on the hollowed out corpse of barclays chief Bob Diamond in the early hours of this morning. 'Ed and...

0 boleroscaramanga 05.07.12 5:58pm
‎'Shock as Joey gets back together with Dawson'

Hollywood was in a frenzy last night after James Van Der Beek appeared outside Tom Cruise's ufo held a ghetto blaster above his head and started playing the hits of Dido whilst weeping uncontrollably...

0 boleroscaramanga 05.07.12 5:55pm
Eric Sykes RIP 9 medici2471 05.07.12 4:20pm
PLEASE Can we have the edit deadline lifted - 2

This six hour deadline is crazy, it's nowhere near enough – in fact, do away with it all together., Give folk the chance to edit their work whenever they like - the quality of subs would rocket.,...

31 Gerontius 05.07.12 4:03pm
Worlds Largest Fondue...

[url=]You bring the bread[/url]...

0 The All New Jeni B 05.07.12 11:04am
The All New Jeni B
Higgs Boson is likely to be announced tomorrow morning by Cern ..

.. gives you a few extra hours to work out some new headlines...

8 Not Amused 05.07.12 10:54am
Not Amused
Archive sub today a gem from Paper Ostrich

National Trust’s multi-million electronic tagging project...

0 dvo4fun 05.07.12 9:21am
50 shades of chav

posted by someone called thejollyroger on the Telegraph comments. Never mind 50 shades of Grey,, Here's 50 shades of Chav… Even though he only had one tattoo I yearned for him to fill those...

0 Thor 04.07.12 9:47pm
I'm not racist but...

Got some tropical fish today. Me: I'd like two Pakistani loaches, please., Pet Shop Chap: You can't say that! We call them Yo-Yo loaches., Me: Why?, PSC: Pakistani loaches is racist., Me: But...

19 shitsu_tonka 04.07.12 7:45am
Famous last words - 23

Not being morbid or expecting to need this anytime soon but have you ever concidered what you would like your last words to be?, The sad likelihood is that most people's last words are likely to be,...

61 beau-jolly 03.07.12 6:10pm
Al OPecia
Has Ed Miliband got a [new] scriptwriter?

I thought he was quite funny today. Come on - own up. It'll all come out eventually so why not make a clean breast of it now and save the rest of the class a lot of bother?...

0 dvo4fun 02.07.12 7:53pm
Lovely Usain Bolt FP piece today

Much more like the imaginative and marginally surreal stuff of old. Good one Yikes...

3 wallster 02.07.12 7:26pm
Wimbledon - There's a celebrity get me out of here.

Did you see the blood curdling sycophantic celebrity intro sequence at Wimbledon? Rugby, Soccer, Athletics, Cricket, Golf, Question of Sport celebrities and even the armed forces drooled over by Sue....

2 weematt 02.07.12 1:27pm
Overheard at Tesco, Henley

"They haven't got any mint for the Pimms!" Not so much overheard, as the whole store heard her. Why, don't, you, just, do, us, all, a, favour, and [size=48]Fuck off![/size]...

13 Scroat 02.07.12 12:24pm
50 shades

I've finally been drawn to wonder WTF is "50 shades of grey". So, wikipideia notes it is an erotic novel featuring BDSM. Still confused, I look up BDSM, to be told "not to be confused with DBMS...

3 Sinnick 02.07.12 8:06am
Pardon ?

Alan Shearer, at the end of the footie: "You have to remember that these players have an unbelievable amount of sex, I mean success". Just reporting...

0 Sinnick 01.07.12 8:59pm
Today I have purchased a new vaccum and food mixer

I'm a reasonable man, so I'm nipping off for a swift gentleman's wash before Mrs Duke pays her dues. Don't expect any sparkling prose from me for the rest of the evening...

5 Ironduke 01.07.12 11:20am