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Film sequels that never happened - 23456

Snow White 2: Dances with dwarves, The Sound of Music 2: Revenge of the Von Trapps, The Taking of Pelham 123 2 You get the idea - over to you...

163 Smart Alex 17.12.12 6:20am
Planes in Spain land badly in the main....

or something

6 button 16.12.12 8:27pm
Ooh, I'm the only one here. I could take off all my clothes and run around naked

Hold on, that's how I got the injunction...

5 dvo4fun 16.12.12 4:46pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Tyson denies sex change.

It's actually got to Tyson himself. [url=]Incredible[/url]. I guess now we'll see a slew of subs...

7 Qoxiivi 16.12.12 3:51pm
Dearth of Christmas TV adverts?

Is it me or is there a dearth of Christmas adverts this December? I miss the Woolworths ones. They don't make them like this anymore ...

2 Dick Everyman 15.12.12 11:40pm
The Paedo Pool

Ok. I discussed this with my legal department, and we have come to the conclusion that it is not in the best interests of Newsbiscuit, myself or any jailbait-hunting celebrities for us to try and bet...

19 bonjonelson 15.12.12 9:57pm
Neat-o 9/12/12

The subject is "comic relief"., Post as a sub in Writers' Room with a link here if you hope to get it published or here in the Chat Room as a NOD (Neat-o direct) if it does not fit as a sub.,...

18 weematt 15.12.12 4:52pm
Newsbiscuit virtual Secret Santa - 23

It's that time of year again when, if you work in an office, you'll probably be asked to pick the name of one of your colleagues out of a hat and then buy them a present they'll probably think is...

67 ianslat 15.12.12 11:41am
(another) US shooting

with guns - 28 dead, without guns - 21 injured, Guns - making your massacres better since...

0 Yikes 15.12.12 4:37am
Global chain tossers

Starbucks. How very fucking gracious of you. No Corporation Tax for 3 years and then a "we've listened to our customers" paltry £20m over 2 years If I offered HMRC an eighth of what I should send...

22 brownpaperreporter 14.12.12 4:58pm

Have I missed it for November? Or has it not been announced yet? Or is the announcement being held back because the winning sub was written in the early 1400s and it might kick off again?...

6 Vertically Challenged Giant 14.12.12 4:02pm
If you haven't had a look already......

0 button 13.12.12 8:41pm
Utter Bollocks. "big tits" is my guess - what's yours?...

8 Al OPecia 13.12.12 8:16pm
"Engine room to Captain Kirk. Spam filters down; dilythium crystal stock low!" 3 dvo4fun 13.12.12 1:53pm
I would like to donate this as the new Newsbiscuit server, where can I send it? Can't be any worse than the current one...

3 Gaz 13.12.12 10:59am
Spam of the day!

Behöva överväga innan durante squirt tan behandling...

3 Dick Everyman 13.12.12 9:15am
Dick Everyman

[url=]I don't remember those questions![/url] Are there some other special places Biscuiteers may know of which this report may have overlooked?...

0 beau-jolly 12.12.12 3:04pm
I think the BBC site has overdosed on Daily Mails.

All the tickers about the 2011 census results for England and Wales seem to have been written with Daily Mail readers in mind. There's [url=]Census Shows...

1 The All New Jeni B 12.12.12 8:30am
Great FP today Perks

I missed it in the writers room. 5 stars!...

1 button 11.12.12 11:20pm
"Gutted, shattered, heart-broken" DJs to be "hung, drawn, and quartered". HRH.

"Gutted, shattered, heart-broken" DJs to be "hung, drawn, and quartered". HRH...

8 olddoc 11.12.12 7:07pm
Al OPecia
Trimphone sub 0 antharrison 11.12.12 8:40am
Self Assement tax return deadline looms...

1 BillyBitzer 10.12.12 11:57pm
Bloody Hell. What happened there then?

I [almost] had to go and tidy up my study...

5 dvo4fun 10.12.12 11:16pm
Unmarried middle-aged uncle FP – correction

Ed, Please could you correct “examination” in third paragraph to read “exclamation”? Cheers, Stan xxx...

1 Stan 10.12.12 9:05pm
Anyone see the Sunday Times did their own updated version of this?

0 simonjmr 10.12.12 10:10am
Is suicide the ultimate heckle?

Bad taste, I know (that's why I haven't turned it into a sub) but I was wondering, what's the ultimate heckle? If a 'comedian' or 'funny Australian' does a slightly shit joke, what would be the best...

8 09.12.12 10:53pm
Neat-O Judgement [directive NO 2.0 #12/2012]

Magic carpet The Neat-O came under threat this week. It was hijacked by a Royal foetus, climate change, more DJs in the limelight for one reason or another, a Roman earring (as worn by whores so...

3 malgor 09.12.12 9:40pm
Midfield Diamond
Neat-O 02.12.2012

The Neat-O challenge for this week is: magic carpet Submissions which are unintelligible out of the Neat-O context, eg, Acme pig cart turns into flying rug, can be posted directly in this thread....

14 malgor 09.12.12 12:38am
A query

"‘Inspired by Starbucks’ self-employed UK builder goes Fair trade" NiB today I notice I've reverted to 'guest' status. Is it necessary to maintain a certain hit-rate? Not complaining - just...

6 dvo4fun 09.12.12 12:21am
Nurse who took prank call about Kate Middleton has died - 2

A tragedy that will no doubt lead to some very serious media discussion about comedy over the next few days. How long before it is suggested that the media follow Leveson type guidelines on what can...

43 Carter 08.12.12 11:33pm
Al OPecia