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Happiness is...

Moving all your birthday beer in to the office so the kids don't drink it, and finding your Swiss Army knife (with bottle opener) in your pocket. And an empty glass in your hand. 1 Speckled Hen, 1...

17 Scroat 26.03.12 8:02pm
The All New Jeni B
Worst Song Lyrics - 2

I was unfortunate enough to be in a garage the other day where Radio 2 was on, and apart from the misery of hearing Jeremy Vine, I then heard Billy Joel's "Leningrad" and I am now stuck with the...

50 Quaz 26.03.12 6:10pm
The All New Jeni B
The Queen is a surprise contestant on Britain's Got Talent ...

The Queen is a surprise contestant on Britain's Got Talent, doing a fart version of the National Anthem. Prince Philip was heard to say "The old girl's caused a right stink with the judges" but Lord...

7 PiRacy 26.03.12 12:22pm
Hoops McCann
Now even easier - book your PM dinner online

0 bonjonelson 26.03.12 11:34am
"No evidence that Eric Pickles had donors for dinner" more later........ 1 Bismarck 26.03.12 11:06am
Oh dear daily mail

Spot the freudian slip in the caption under the first picture [url=]in this article[/url] . I'm...

1 Perks 25.03.12 4:26pm
Dear Biscuits, one and all, - 2

I'm off to Belgium for Uni in about, ooooh, 5hrs and sleep is elusive., I probably won't have much of a chance to pop in this week, so do try to behave., I expect to see this place just as tidy as...

37 The All New Jeni B 24.03.12 11:31pm
A bit of culture

Went to the cinema last night to see a live satellite broadcast of the Royal Ballet's Romeo and Juliet at the Royal Opera House. It was fantastic. The music, Kenneth MacMillan's interpretation, the...

18 Scroat 24.03.12 5:36pm
Truebiscuit - Borat spoof anthem played at games

Love it !, [url=]Wrong anthem played for Kazakhastan athlete[/url] Lets hope they don't speak English as these are the lyrics. Kazakhstan greatest...

1 MADJEZ 24.03.12 10:02am
Al OPecia
JoF on the Beeb!

John O'Farrell was on Newsnight book review (is that what it's called?) with his new book. A sniffy bint complained about it, but agreed with everyone else that it's funny. So there you have it. If...

0 24.03.12 12:17am

Dear fellow newbiscuiters! I can hardly believe my luck and want to share my good fortune with you all! I have copied below the email I received yesterday, as I am sure you will all want to cash in...

7 Son of Barnabas 23.03.12 9:03pm
Have you seen this? - 2

A friend, knowing my pedantic tendencies, sent me this., I'm not sure that "epidemic" is the correct word either...

43 The All New Jeni B 23.03.12 4:17pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
God and Mary trying for new baby 2 Matthuselah 23.03.12 12:58pm
Son of Barnabas
Unfortunate quote from Tulisa over the sex tape

'I've never been the type - regardless of being in the public eye - to sit down and keep my mouth shut about anything'. No, Tulisa, indeed. Perhaps you should have done though...

1 Oxbridge 22.03.12 4:11pm
Going to a....

vinyl only party on Saturday (stop sniggering at the back)so we have to bring fave old albums. I'm thinking compilations any suggestions what stuff might make the party erswing...

19 Hoops McCann 22.03.12 12:43pm
Dear George Osborne...

Why did you keep referring to 'rich people' in the third person during your budget speech...

0 Scroat 22.03.12 12:38pm
Can anyone condense this into a ticker?

"Overwieght, heavy-drinking, middle-aged, smoker overcome by feeling of self-satisfied smugness as another top athelete's heart bursts."...

9 beau-jolly 21.03.12 6:57pm
Another Freegle classic

From someone called Beckybaps - really. Hi there, in desperate need of a breast pump since husband dropped mine this, weekend and it no longer pumps! Can collect anytime. Thanks!...

8 Scroat 21.03.12 4:28pm
Cancer man's bladder is replaced by robot at Bristol hospital

Real header from BBC today. Who needs NewsBiscuit?, Surely an old football would have been cheaper?...

0 weematt 20.03.12 2:35pm
I take it you've all read this - - 2 I'll be taking down and dusting off my copy of HHGttG this weekend in honour...

32 The All New Jeni B 20.03.12 12:39pm
Son of Barnabas
Yet another fine FP, ludo 0 Sinnick 20.03.12 10:13am
At last! The front page, sort of

Just saw a story (Ryanair/Dam busters) on the front page. Based on my redundant autopilot submission. Long way from the original - but that I suppose that's news business., (Dear editor person,...

3 weematt 20.03.12 8:01am
So now Dr Rowan Williams is standing down as ABofC,

Will he go back to touring with Jethro Tull?

5 The Nage 16.03.12 10:59pm
Every little helps!

5 beau-jolly 16.03.12 10:42pm
Is this for real?

[url=]Horse available to hack, twice a week, Chipping Norton![/url]...

0 weematt 16.03.12 4:01pm
Red, that picture was a private sitting...

never intended for use on Lucy's super FP. I feel violated...

2 Mary Evans 16.03.12 2:22pm
The Paper Ostrich
I prefer my Florence & Fred trainers

They're very comfy and reasonably priced to boot...

1 The Nage 16.03.12 7:42am
Zadok the second
hack/spamming in progress

User dersfer is currently hacking/spamming old posts here and in writers room...

8 weematt 16.03.12 1:29am
Really annoying adverts.

I’ve noticed that ever more websites are using those ‘scrolling advert’ things at the edges of the webpage - the sort that scrolls down so the user can never be free of them. Do any of you...

8 John Ffitch-Rucker 15.03.12 4:33pm
The Obamas

You would, wouldn't you?...

2 shitsu_tonka 15.03.12 4:03pm
The Nage