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Crap jobs

we have a FLOODING Minister? (Richard Benyon MP - hiliarious jobtitlesrus) is there a 'a bit blowy Minister' too?...

0 Squudge 24.12.12 1:05pm
Ed, couple of tweaks on the Blue WKD FP!

Cheers for running it, but there's a couple of tweaks needed: 'Bottles of Blue WKD [s]is[/s] are' and the entire last line isn't supposed to be part of the sub! It was just a promise I wasn't going...

6 24.12.12 11:59am
Lynn Truss says...


2 BillyBitzer 24.12.12 10:44am
Des Custard
Thank you...

To whoever it was who came up with this little gem of a phrase. On Christmas morning I will wake up and this will pop into my brain, and cheer me up. DECK THE FUCKERS!!!...

2 Scroat 23.12.12 5:32pm
Narrow Hodo

Is this a Japanese building site term?...

0 Jesse Bigg 23.12.12 4:16pm
Jesse Bigg
Team NewsBiscuit - About time we wrote a self-help book together

Chinese spam getting you down?, Unsure which brand of budget Ugg boot to buy?, Like to set a place at the table for your semi-automatic milspec assault weapon?, Born in a manger, no crib for a...

1 Username 23.12.12 3:38pm
Don't say you weren't warned

[url=]I'm looking at you Smithy[/url]...

6 Perks 23.12.12 3:32pm
The All New Jeni B
Latest NEAT-O Result

Oh dear. I fear this post may have have been adversely influenced by far too much Wadworth's Dray Bells and Sharp's Doom Bar, followed by that Argentinean Malbec I had in the cupboard which was far...

4 Midfield Diamond 23.12.12 3:29pm
Zimbabwe Standard publishes NewsBiscuit story as fact

25 editor 23.12.12 11:50am

just had a wasp a WASP land on my ear while I was trying to sleep. No more sleep for me. anyone got tips on removing nests, if I have one?...

14 Squudge 22.12.12 5:41pm
The All New Jeni B
Halle Berry House For Sale After Thanksgiving Brawl Between Fiance & Ex-Boyfrien

Halle Berry House For Sale After Thanksgiving Brawl Between Fiance & Ex-Boyfriend Halle Berry's Hollywood Hills home is reportedly on the market, and news of the quiet listing broke less than a...

0 walthammercer 22.12.12 3:30am
Unlikely cultural events.

Midnight Express, yep that's right the Oliver Stone film about a chap in a Turkish prison in which good times are most definitely not had, is being turned into a ballet. ...

9 Carter 21.12.12 10:30pm
Christmas cards

Just wondering what your funniest cards have been., I just got one with an image of Jesus and the caption "Its all about me!" Inside: me, me, me! I laughed my socks off. There's also the far...

6 beau-jolly 21.12.12 10:11pm
The All New Jeni B
Christmas lights

5 godly1966 21.12.12 6:45pm
NEAT-O 17/12/2012

After much deliberation, the subject of the Neat-O this week is inserts stupid pause like those that TV presenters use to supposedly build up tension but in fact they just make people shout 'get on...

24 Midfield Diamond 21.12.12 1:00pm
Midfield Diamond

'When I'm President' by Ian Hunter, What has been your favourite so far?...

29 Gerontius 20.12.12 9:53pm
Can you spare 10 minutes?

Enjoy this with your first cocktail of the evening., When I was young I thought this man was mad., Now I am approaching advanced middle age I can see that it's everybody else who is mad., National...

28 Gerontius 20.12.12 5:13pm
Al OPecia
US child killings - my view on the subs and postings - 2

I know that this is a satirical site and can test the boundaries of acceptability and taste. That said I would be disappointed if NB turned into Sickipedia or its equivalents (which I do not read...

42 antharrison 20.12.12 10:58am
Christmas Venn Diagram

Old as the hills but I love it!,

3 beau-jolly 20.12.12 7:15am
TrueBiscuit all the way from Herefordshire

Hereford nightclub to celebrate the end of the world 3:53pm Monday 17th December 2012 in Local News RECORD spinners from the county’s corners will converge at a Hereford nightclub - even if the...

4 Oxbridge 19.12.12 3:33pm
Great FP, LD Clara! 4 rikkor 18.12.12 8:31pm
Sourcing medical 'aids'.

[url=,c9348516]Vibrator cures constipated tortoise[/url], I wonder...

8 Ironduke 18.12.12 2:49pm
We Breed Them Odd Up Here...

[url=]Just wanting to get the fork home[/url]...

13 The All New Jeni B 18.12.12 7:59am
So, what do we think "The Baby" should be called ? - 2 44 Sinnick 18.12.12 7:10am
Gun laws

To avoid the debate starting in t'other room, what is the solution? Arming teachers sounds (and is) mad but does anyone have a better idea? Guns are out there and you can not put the toothpaste...

27 beau-jolly 17.12.12 9:16pm
NB's Virtual Christmas Party !!! - 2

Ok, everyone else is having a jolly party nowadays (Clegg excepted), so maybe we should too. Don't know why it's not been thought of before. Anyone and everyone invited, just the obvious rule that...

51 Sinnick 17.12.12 2:14pm
Neat-O Episode 4

Here we go again. A journey through some of the best one-liners, News in Brief and FP length subs the internet has to offer. But as with all journeys, this one starts with the CHECK-IN So as...

22 Perks 17.12.12 2:05pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
November Writer of the Month – Ludicity

Many congratulations to Ludicity who wins his 171st Writer of the Month award after his excellent story, 'Jeremy Hunt to open world's first placebo hospital', was NewsBiscuit's most-read in November....

8 editor 17.12.12 1:04pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Neat-o 9/12/12 - THE RESULT

This week's neat-o certainly revealed the in depth capability of our regular neat-o contributors to handle the subject of “relief”. Most contributors had a good grasp of that. Not everyone seemed...

6 weematt 17.12.12 8:10am
Film sequels that never happened - 23456

Snow White 2: Dances with dwarves, The Sound of Music 2: Revenge of the Von Trapps, The Taking of Pelham 123 2 You get the idea - over to you...

163 Smart Alex 17.12.12 6:20am