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The customer is not always right 8 beau-jolly 4 years

Just had a lady from come in and say "This shop is called Shaftesbury Wines, so are all the wines from Shaftesbury or are they foreign 'cos I don't like foreign wine" FFS! The last person to ask me...

Does anyone give a fuck about the Olympics? 23 shitsu_tonka 4 years

Just listening to earnest debate on the radio about the riots and what effect it could have on the Olympics. I couldn't give less of a toss about two weeks of skipping and jumping and all that and...

Dear Debs 3 Screenie 4 years
Great FP Mr Frodo 2 Scroat 4 years

It's all in there. Nice one...

E-petitions 1 Corrigan 4 years

I followed the link for the bring back hanging e-petition advertised on the home page. Some of the petitions are quite amusing. Anyone can start one, so it's a bit of a haven for cranks., The...

Barbara Mandrill 2 rikkor 4 years

Wayland, great FP! http://www.barbara-mandrell.com/...

Glorious twelfth 11 Zadok the second 4 years

Just been reminded that the season for shooting grouse and ptarmigan (what?) opens today. Why is there a 'season'? What happens if you shoot a ptarmigan (eh?) out of season? And - natch - anyone...

This made me smile 4 writinginbsl 4 years

Quote from a judge as reported in the DM today.. 'Nobody forced you to get drunk and pick up the violin'...

Made meatballs tonight 0 rikkor 4 years

Makes a huge difference if you use the beef/veal/pork mix instead of just beef. The veal should be particularly dewy-eyed to make the best meatballs. I bake them in the oven, then drop them into my...

Bloody post it notes 6 charlies_hat 4 years

Anyone seen the "Peckham Peace Wall" ? - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-14495327 - All of the post it notes are held up with a bit of masking tape - The proliferation of useless post it notes that...

The Onion has started charging, it seems. 6 Golgo13 4 years

Has anyone else been shown the green screen? Seems if you look at more than 5 pages in a 30 day period, you get invited to pay $29.95 for an annual subscription, or $2.95 for a month of Die Zwiebel...

Nappy Slapping 1 pinxit 4 years

Just wanted to say that's a most excellent pic on today's FP. Congrats red...

I am off on jollybobs! 10 4 years

Just saying. Thought I'd start an uncontroversial thread. I haven't chosen 'travel sweets' yet...

WHen it was revealed that the Seals that killed Bin Laden were themselves killed 16 guffaw 4 years

weeks later,did the phrase "there is a God after all" pass thru your mind ?...

Sweet biscuits 3 Mary Evans 4 years

It is young Stranglewank's first birthday tomorrow and as I was wading through some of her baby crap, I found all the lovely messages you good people wrote when I announced her arrival. You really...

Jusr found an old Bugatti on a plot of land barely covered up and open to the el 9 guffaw 4 years

elements it is still in one piece as far as I can tell anyone hazard a guess of how much it could be worth http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaOHC88RKaU...

Pup Pimping Update 2 25 The All New Jeni B 4 years

I'm delighted to tell you that today we welcomed 7 live pups, and sadly 1 dead into the world. We have 1 white boy and 2 black boys, and 2 white and 2 black girls. All happy, healthy and feeding...

Great FP today 2 theumpire 4 years

Felicitations to The Paper Ostrich - and 5 stars to go with them. I shall stay well away from Westminster this afternoo if there are going to be 650 MPs on the rampage...

Cameron and Boris to appear on Pointless 0 Warrenpeace 4 years

David Cameron and Boris Johnson are to appear as a team on the BBC Show POINTLESS to test the limits of their pointless knowledge., A spokesman for No 10 said "Both are reputed to be skilled in the...

Anyone catch Zoe Williams on Newsnight last night? 0 Scroat 4 years
Love the flash ad at the top of the FP screaming at me to bring back hanging... 0 The Return of DroleNoel 4 years

Looks like we're back in the 60's. Perhaps tomorrows will be pro-segregation, or workhouses for the poor...

Many of today's looters will never have heard of the Trumpton Riots 0 ronseal 4 years

So I urge you to join this spoof hashtag (but treat it in all seriousness, so as to attract the eye of the looting community) #trumpton try also #trumptonriots I want da yoot to set their sites on...

Bloody Boris Johnson 8 Scroat 4 years

I was half asleep when he was being interviewed on the radio this morning, but he seemed to say something about a generation of kids with a high sense of entitlement or something similar. Has he...

Rikkor deciding what we can and can't write moratorium - 2 59 Oxbridge 4 years
Dear underclass feral rioting types... 2 shitsu_tonka 4 years

stop talking about 'the feds'. This is not the United States, there are no feds. You are not in an episode of The Wire, you are a nasty little bastard pointlessly buggering things up for everyone...

Well this is interesting... 2 4 years

[url=http://www.bitterwallet.com/is-stella-artois-really-launching-a-new-lager-called-wifebeatre-no/47707?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+bitterwallet+%28BitterWalle...

Riot confusion 27 shitsu_tonka 4 years

Why do people use a riot as an excuse to loot their local branch of Currys? Surely if you find yourself in the middle of riot then your first instinct is to very quickly get somewhere where it is...

Feel badly about your riots. 8 rikkor 4 years

We have them all the time here, usually after sporting events or floods (looting). It's just that America is so vast, they always seem rather spread out over space and time. Won't help your tourism...

How do I choose an ISP? 2 Scroat 4 years

My broadband access has been very flaky over the past month or so, but the last straw was a national outage from Friday until yesterday. So I've decided to bite the bullet and change Internet...

London glazier firm, under investigation of Blackberry Messaging offences. 0 Erlang 4 years

More pane later?...