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Merry Christmas from Rikkor. 12 rikkor 27.12.12 11:52pm
Would we allow vets or animal shelters to get away with this?

[url=]and yes, I have a friend who is a nurse...

6 Squudge 27.12.12 6:38pm
New contributor fails to think of anything funny to break in forum

Did you see what I did there?, It will only work for a short time anyway, but no worries if you didn't as it just confirms that I regularly fail to live up to the miserably low standards I set...

6 danster 27.12.12 10:12am
Failed festive rap song attempt

I attempted to scribe a Christmas Rap song, or C.Rap song as it may be better described., But having had no response from Dizzee Rascal or Slim Shady when I offered my lyrics to them for a festive...

3 danster 27.12.12 10:07am
it was time to test her wings in a way they'd never been tested before

I first thought this was a new version of Claire Raynor's old adverts...

0 27.12.12 8:01am
Own up who broke it? 1 godly1966 26.12.12 11:25pm
Spot the performance ....

Over the top, camp, not quite leading actor, Smut, innuendo, Some obvious jokes to groan about No, not Carry On, its the Panto season. I saw Dick Whittington at Oxford, good gig they even got the...

4 brownpaperreporter 26.12.12 10:45pm
Take it back for a refund

That new server Santa brought from Comet - did it have dodgy batteries?...

0 Squudge 26.12.12 8:20pm
BBC to launch We-Player . . .

. . . to broadcast Queen's Speech...

1 theumpire 26.12.12 10:41am
wrong room

Schoolboy error ....

0 Yikes 26.12.12 10:27am
Merry Christmas everyone

Great to see so many new biscuits popping up in the last year, and wonderful to see the old site actually getting some publicity in the real news world - great work everyone. To all biscuits new and...

4 rickwestwell 25.12.12 7:57pm
The All New Jeni B
funny food translations...

[url=]food translation[/url]...

1 writinginbsl 25.12.12 7:55pm
The All New Jeni B
I hope 'Elf & Safety exec are involved in this one..

[url=]bad elfs[/url]...

0 Squudge 25.12.12 5:46pm
Warmest Season's Greetings for JohnA

2 Al OPecia 25.12.12 10:44am
Al OPecia
'Rebecca' on 'MatureDating' targetted advert is apparently only 3 miles away.

As I don't recognise the name from the village I suppose she might be a quadraped. Or perhaps 'a traveller', so I could get the driveway tarmacced as well...

4 dvo4fun 24.12.12 10:00pm
TrueBiscuit! Nasa plans to lasso asteroid to turn into space-station

[url=]Nasa's crazy plan[/url]...

1 Stan 24.12.12 1:34pm
Crap jobs

we have a FLOODING Minister? (Richard Benyon MP - hiliarious jobtitlesrus) is there a 'a bit blowy Minister' too?...

0 Squudge 24.12.12 1:05pm
Ed, couple of tweaks on the Blue WKD FP!

Cheers for running it, but there's a couple of tweaks needed: 'Bottles of Blue WKD [s]is[/s] are' and the entire last line isn't supposed to be part of the sub! It was just a promise I wasn't going...

6 24.12.12 11:59am
Lynn Truss says...


2 BillyBitzer 24.12.12 10:44am
Des Custard
Thank you...

To whoever it was who came up with this little gem of a phrase. On Christmas morning I will wake up and this will pop into my brain, and cheer me up. DECK THE FUCKERS!!!...

2 Scroat 23.12.12 5:32pm
Narrow Hodo

Is this a Japanese building site term?...

0 Jesse Bigg 23.12.12 4:16pm
Jesse Bigg
Team NewsBiscuit - About time we wrote a self-help book together

Chinese spam getting you down?, Unsure which brand of budget Ugg boot to buy?, Like to set a place at the table for your semi-automatic milspec assault weapon?, Born in a manger, no crib for a...

1 Username 23.12.12 3:38pm
Don't say you weren't warned

[url=]I'm looking at you Smithy[/url]...

6 Perks 23.12.12 3:32pm
The All New Jeni B
Latest NEAT-O Result

Oh dear. I fear this post may have have been adversely influenced by far too much Wadworth's Dray Bells and Sharp's Doom Bar, followed by that Argentinean Malbec I had in the cupboard which was far...

4 Midfield Diamond 23.12.12 3:29pm
Zimbabwe Standard publishes NewsBiscuit story as fact

25 editor 23.12.12 11:50am

just had a wasp a WASP land on my ear while I was trying to sleep. No more sleep for me. anyone got tips on removing nests, if I have one?...

14 Squudge 22.12.12 5:41pm
The All New Jeni B
Halle Berry House For Sale After Thanksgiving Brawl Between Fiance & Ex-Boyfrien

Halle Berry House For Sale After Thanksgiving Brawl Between Fiance & Ex-Boyfriend Halle Berry's Hollywood Hills home is reportedly on the market, and news of the quiet listing broke less than a...

0 walthammercer 22.12.12 3:30am
Unlikely cultural events.

Midnight Express, yep that's right the Oliver Stone film about a chap in a Turkish prison in which good times are most definitely not had, is being turned into a ballet. ...

9 Carter 21.12.12 10:30pm
Christmas cards

Just wondering what your funniest cards have been., I just got one with an image of Jesus and the caption "Its all about me!" Inside: me, me, me! I laughed my socks off. There's also the far...

6 beau-jolly 21.12.12 10:11pm
The All New Jeni B
Christmas lights

5 godly1966 21.12.12 6:45pm