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I'm not Spartacus either.

A few months ago I was accused of being RRRRGarrry by Bongojohnson and his little mate. Now some brave, anonymous tagger is accusing me of being Saltire. Saltire hasn't been seen on here for a while...

9 greg various 29.11.11 6:26pm
reforse
Why I don't understand money

An American tourist checks in at a little hotel in the south of France. He pays $200 for his room. The hotelier nips round the corner and pays off her bill at the grocery store. The grocer goes...

10 Scroat 29.11.11 3:58pm
greg various
Are we all too nice to each other?

As I look in the writers room, a huge number of posts, most of them amusing, but not outstanding, have five stars. Are we all being too generous? If you receive less than five stars from someone, do...

22 bonjonelson 29.11.11 12:44pm
No Beard
Probably the best of the lot

Gary Bailey, Gary Neville, Gary Pallister, Gary Cahill, Gary Thomas, Gary McAllister, Gary Mabbutt, Gary Speed (capt), Gary Lineker, Gary Owen, Gareth Bale, Sub: Andy Gary...

3 Gerontius 29.11.11 12:25pm
Sinnick
A propos of nothing: What's on Hannibal Lector's i-pod?

Anyone who had a heart, etc um, stuck at one song...

16 Username 28.11.11 6:21pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Old Dentist FP & Stupid Robots

Just browsing through some archives while eating my lunch, and this nearly resulted in it ending up all over my laptop:...

3 Vertically Challenged Giant 28.11.11 5:49pm
The All New Jeni B
Attention Writers in Scotland...

Free money available http://www.bbc.co.uk/writersroom/opportunity/writers_projects_2011.shtml...

3 editor 28.11.11 5:31pm
The All New Jeni B
Dear Predatory spammer

[eye wateringly funny letter, which pierces the presumptuous ego, of even the most reptilian spammer, goes here.] Best wishes,, Me Can't remember what I was going to say now...

0 Username 28.11.11 6:11am
Username
outstanding artwork, Red!

Amazing stuff, and you've done two of them! Love the fat orangutang. Looks a lot like me, in fairness...

7 27.11.11 1:25pm
ianslat
Liked the 'Lord Gaga' NiB

But I reckon this one by ronseal was first, and imho, better:, [url=http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=24361#post-66177]I don't think my wife IS better known than me, retorts Lord Gaga[/url]...

0 rickwestwell 26.11.11 11:07pm
rickwestwell
FAO: GB SQUIRREL LICKING SQUAD...

Please see what we're up against for next year., This is serious stuff, and I don't know if the GB Squirrel Lickers are up to speed. Squirrel Wars, www.youtube.com...

10 The All New Jeni B 25.11.11 10:58pm
The All New Jeni B
Real life overtakes News Biscuit , with Willy headline

The lat­est entry from retaW con­sists of a series enti­tled WILLY*, and with a scent com­bin­ing a sweet and bit­ter choco­late with fresh mint it is not hard to see where the name is derived...

1 Greysetter 25.11.11 8:55pm
greg various
Love the front page, today....

But despite the cogent basis for satire, I have to admit that the picture makes me feel Christmassy and makes me want to buy shit...

3 SingingHinny 25.11.11 3:29pm
SingingHinny
Braille in pointless places

I'm vaguely aware that Braille is some sort of special writing that helps deaf people read or something, but I'm a bit baffled by where it turns up. I've just seen it on the numbers on a vending...

16 Vertically Challenged Giant 25.11.11 8:40am
Username
Well done Immunis - Great FP 8 Al OPecia 25.11.11 12:11am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Brilliant name!!

Here's a local news story, about some very brave police officers who helped disarm a knife-wielding attacker. Now read the names of the officers, and tell me whether you read the first officer's...

2 The All New Jeni B 24.11.11 4:08pm
Son of Barnabas
Must be a sub in this for fuck's sake

Mr Justice Bean http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-15816761...

8 Scroat 24.11.11 3:18am
Username
NEVER look at your old backup CDs

I just found an old backup CD of mine dated 3rd June 2000, and on it is a word file containing notes for a screenplay I was trying to write (dated 15th September 1999) One of these notes simply...

11 bonjonelson 24.11.11 12:14am
FlashArry
Sign of the times

http://i194.photobucket.com/albums/z38/dcoxell/303762_10150313765828303_9171233302_8287273_1708360573_n.jpg...

1 Scroat 23.11.11 12:59pm
It has amazed me the amount of stick that "technocrats" are getting..

..at the moment, due to the suggestion that they might run some economies. Since a technocrat is someone who is expert in an area and bases their decisions on evidence why is it preferable to have...

16 Al OPecia 22.11.11 9:48pm
riesler
Hugh Grant at Leveson enquiry

Turned on TV BBC 24, to watch over the ham sandwich lunch, and found HG's evidence absolutely compelling and even had to abandon plans to dig the garden; which you may well imagine was a severe blow....

6 dvo4fun 22.11.11 9:23pm
Ironduke
Spanish fisherman denies he castanet

Spanish fisherman denies he castanet...

0 woody 22.11.11 9:05pm
woody
Wonderful letter in today's Metro

From someone who revealed that they keep the Metro newspaper for one year, and then leave the outdated copies on public transport in order to baffle and confuse...

3 fernandomando 22.11.11 5:16pm
SingingHinny
Darkbill. Killer FP. 0 Scroat 19.11.11 11:29pm
Scroat
How to resign

Dear Auntie News Biscuit, I've quit my job. Though I've done it verbally I now have to write a formal letter of resignation which is something I've never done before. I was wondering if you could...

20 shitsu_tonka 19.11.11 5:13pm
dvo4fun
This is fun

In Google, type in Google gravity and click I'm feeling lucky Similarly Google sphere...

1 Scroat 17.11.11 6:09pm
andhrimnir
How long were you reading NB before you plucked up the courage to register and

start posting? I was just pointing out on the writers room that having been reading NB for a few years i know comedy names don't go down well. It reminded me that I started coming here having read...

22 button 17.11.11 11:57am
charlies_hat
Burlesconni to Replace Blatter in FIFA Top Job

Burlesconni to Replace Blatter in FIFA Top Job...

0 No Beard 17.11.11 8:10am
No Beard
Newsbiscuit In Real Life

[quote]MOSCOW — Four days after reminding distinguished visitors to Moscow — over dinner — that Russia can destroy the U.S. in half an hour or less, Prime Minister Vladimir Putin was named the...

6 Textbook 17.11.11 7:55am
Al OPecia
Like the JD FP Golgo

But let's not forget those upbeat JD tacks like "Interzone", "Novelty" or "No love lost". I'm always first on the dance floor to those, usually alone...

0 Quaz 17.11.11 12:35am
Quaz