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I've lost my funny

chorus: you never had it in the first place Now, as a mere browse through any of my posts may show you, my 'funny' wasn't exactly a rampant throbbing V8 supercruiser, more a gentle putt-putting...

20 Ironduke 02.04.12 4:02pm
ianslat
Stand up for the 2 liner and how many letters are allowed in a ticker?

Is NewsBiscuit missing out on the majority of our best humour? We are reminded that the 2 liner doesn't fit the format. Write a headline, a 1 liner, or go away and write at least a NiB (>2 lines +...

5 weematt 02.04.12 11:27am
Oxbridge
'US coastguard helping hurt crew'

Headline on the BBC website: seems a bit harsh. I know people with yachts can be a bit annoying, but there's no need to rub salt in the wounds...

4 01.04.12 10:27pm
rikkor
ABardCalledBill.com

Hattip to Godly1966's Shakespearean take on Millet's "now is the winter of their discount-tents" Just how well would Shakespeare fare in advertising and product endorsement? Sadly, but not...

11 Username 01.04.12 7:30pm
Iscariot
Ed! Help! Watch spam!

It's everywhere! Seems attracted to Mr Spongeshaft for some reason...

1 01.04.12 10:13am
Perks
Misleading headline...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-17557581 Very disappointing to find that there's no place for our deceased stalwarts of screens big and small....

5 The All New Jeni B 31.03.12 8:39pm
Golgo13
Do Watson and Oliver make anyone else

want to deep-fry their own head as a more humorous alternative to squandering 30 minutes of one's life on this utter pish? Very annoying for two reasons: 1) It's really annoying 2) It inevitably...

24 Mary Evans 31.03.12 1:16pm
ronseal
Parent Biscuits, you may have shat out a genius

Is your kid an annoying little twerp who won't shut up? According to science (well, what some mad Americans think is science) that means they are a super-evolved being. Check out the list of reasons...

12 shitsu_tonka 31.03.12 12:07am
theumpire
Francis Maude: A cock or what? Apologies to non-UK chaps

His suggestion today that, in the light of possible strikes by fuel tanker drivers, motorists might consider keeping the odd gallon of unleaded in a jerry can at home. Seems to me that either i)...

8 dvo4fun 30.03.12 6:17pm
godly1966
Following right on from worst lyrics

[url=http://blog.tastebuds.fm/worst-album-covers-of-all-time/]What were they thinking?[/url], Which one do you have in your collection?...

7 beau-jolly 30.03.12 4:25pm
cinquecento
Horse conveniences straight at your door!

It empty? You [url=http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg683/scaled.php?server=683&filename=giantmicrobes1.jpg&res=medium]hate it[/url]? Throw it a dogging way. Don’t tanker fret it all night in...

18 youbuyitnow 30.03.12 4:10pm
How posh do you have to be to decant your petrol before using it ?

[url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-17560534]Woman suffers burns decanting petrol in kitchen.[/url]...

3 MADJEZ 30.03.12 2:39pm
cinquecento
Cette page est laissée intentionnellement vide 8 bonjonelson 30.03.12 2:04pm
Mandy Lifeboat
‘dull and derivative’

Thought I’d post this in here as if I post it on the article where comment/tag resides then it’ll keep getting tediously bumped in and around new material and that’s good for anyone. Anyway,...

8 Qoxiivi 30.03.12 12:49pm
Sinnick
To flounce or not to flounce - a Shakespearean view

To flounce, or not to flounce, that is the question:, Whether 'tis easier in the mind to suffer, The comments and suggestions of outrageous contributors,, Or to take offence against a mass of...

3 seymour totti 30.03.12 10:07am
Sinnick
This IS a flounce

harrrummmph...

0 writinginbsl 30.03.12 8:34am
writinginbsl
This isn't a flounce either.

That's all. As you were...

0 wallster 30.03.12 7:48am
wallster
Anyone been up the garage having a panic buy?

Was it fun? Personally I have neither license nor car and cycle everywhere like a smug ponce, but on Facebook am reading stories of queues at the pumps that are quite intense. There has been shoving...

7 shitsu_tonka 30.03.12 7:04am
beau-jolly
Happy Birthday Guv'nor

We'll all be round the Newsbiscuit offices later to give you the bumps...

10 wallster 29.03.12 4:47pm
writinginbsl
Admin query regarding unsubscribe

I want to cancel the daily news email that I get from newsbiscuit. Could anyone advise how I can do this? (I've changed email address and I want to stop you sending it to the old email.)...

3 Nails UK 29.03.12 2:08pm
Nails UK
'Patsy lover' David Cameron defends VAT on zero-rated Nick Cleggs

The PM spoke highly of patsies yesterday, saying how much he enjoyed them, especially those containing scapegoat...

0 3zincold 29.03.12 9:45am
3zincold
please ignore, wrong forum.

deleted wrong forum...

1 kondorish 29.03.12 12:24am
kondorish
Memory mattress called as key witness in MP's main residency expenses scandal

In a landmark case which is already been labelled 'Silentnight Witness', a super-king size memory mattress is today expected to give evidence against a Tory MP accused of spending less than 10 nights...

1 Underconstruction 28.03.12 10:34pm
FlashArry
Wonderful 'Old Lady' archive story

One of my favourites. This one by the same author is well worth a read too: http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2007/09/29/drunk-admits-you-know-more-about-this-than-i-do-214/...

1 Vertically Challenged Giant 28.03.12 5:42pm
dvo4fun
.

Blatant 'wrong room' idiocy...

0 Qoxiivi 28.03.12 12:10pm
Qoxiivi
How hard can it be to make beer?

By a stange quirk of fate, I accidently live in and share the liability for the lease on, a Free House on the Dorset border., We have 4 garages out the back, one is full of logs, one is full of oil...

26 beau-jolly 27.03.12 9:21pm
Fancier logo/website needed

Just a suggestion to give this website a more professional look. It looks dated now, though it is certainly functional. Perhaps a simple new logo is enough for now, and a website redesign can come...

17 Dumbnews 27.03.12 7:56pm
The All New Jeni B
Let that be warning, don't post under the influence.

Not that I condone the idiot but it does seem a bit inconsistent that if you make some dumb-arse racist comments on Twitter while under the influence they'll try you within a fortnight and send you...

0 MADJEZ 27.03.12 3:50pm
MADJEZ
anyone hear Peter Serafinowicz on 6music?

Caught a bit of his show in the car. It started with 'pirate wogan': Terry performing on an urban pirate radio show. Definitely worth digging out on iPlayer: very funny and a great impression!...

3 27.03.12 8:53am
Happiness is...

Moving all your birthday beer in to the office so the kids don't drink it, and finding your Swiss Army knife (with bottle opener) in your pocket. And an empty glass in your hand. 1 Speckled Hen, 1...

17 Scroat 26.03.12 8:02pm
The All New Jeni B