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Overheard on Chelsea Flower Show programme.

Alan Titchmarsh 'This bonsai tree is 40 years old, it took several burly men to lug it through the crowd' Er.. So it's a giant bonsai tree.. so it's A TREE !...

0 MADJEZ 25.05.12 7:44pm
MADJEZ
Man in a suitcase.

[url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-18177069]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-18177069[/url] Knowing, as we think we might, that there are some chaps out there who enjoy a bit of extreme onanism; names...

8 wallster 25.05.12 5:58am
wallster
Has this been done?

Seeing Cheryl Cole kissing a man in a wheelchair on TV this morning set my warped mind off on one and I rapidly came up with the idea of a story about her (or any other attractive female celeb for...

11 Oxbridge 24.05.12 11:31am
wallster
Poking the loonies with sticks

[url=http://www.all-things-zany.com/funnylinks.html]How many can you stand?[/url] It's a beautiful day so the High Street is dead. I'm going to waste some time seeing if I can find an even bigger...

14 beau-jolly 24.05.12 9:18am
Thor
Caption Competiion Time

As ever, untold fortunes for the best https://p.twimg.com/AtVYzk7CEAARX_5.jpg...

18 thisisall1word 23.05.12 12:15pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Chronic pain under-treated - NICE

The BBC main news page is showing the above text as a link to:, http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-18166176 I can't help hearing in the style of the Fast Show jazz man ....

1 Not Amused 23.05.12 11:52am
beau-jolly
Opening lines

Whilst on me hol's I borrowed [actually I brought it home with me] a copy of 'Encore Provence' by Peter Mayle, from the holiday location library. I would like to propose the opening paragraph: "I...

25 dvo4fun 23.05.12 8:11am
Sinnick
The lovely Rebekeh...

Why has no-one dubbed this Gingergate? Is the G-word getting a little non-PC???...

17 Scroat 22.05.12 11:49pm
bonjonelson
Spam Suggestion

One forum I'm a member of has the policy that your first three posts only go public once they've been approved by a mod and it is made clear that that will happen whenever the mod can be arsed and...

22 shitsu_tonka 22.05.12 2:31pm
beau-jolly
My favourite review from a brilliant site

http://www.uhpinions.com/hair-removal-gel-creme-3/ Just genius...

2 JohnA 21.05.12 12:36pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Wonderful archive story today.

Original and surreal. And that's all I have to say on the matter...

7 wallster 21.05.12 12:29pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
At last a sense of proportion.....

An essay setting out Jeremy Hunt's likely explanation to the Leveson Inquiry has been banned by Michael Gove as 'not a suitable subject for sixth formers'., It has been pointed out to Mr Gove that...

0 quackadoom 21.05.12 11:35am
quackadoom
JoF Watch: Question Time tonight!

Just sayin'. On BBC1, in glorious HD, equipment permitting. 10.30pm...

11 18.05.12 5:03pm
saltire
To the nice admin lady - Second News in Brief wrongly credited

The News in Brief about the Royal Enclosure appears to have been credited to Skylarking rather than to me? Any chance of a correction?...

1 Nails UK 18.05.12 2:47pm
admin
All aboard the comedy train.

There must me mileage in this surely. Any suggestions?, [url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-18050473]Your contributions?[/url]...

8 beau-jolly 17.05.12 7:20pm
bonjonelson
Clintons give 3,000 staff their cards 0 Underconstruction 17.05.12 10:41am
Underconstruction
Hodgson 'Crouch not selected for hoofballing reasons' 0 Underconstruction 17.05.12 10:28am
Underconstruction
Rebekah Brooks - witch-hunt

You couldn't make it up...

9 Scroat 16.05.12 5:59pm
dvo4fun
The power of positive thinking

If you use firefox and you type 'noel edmonds ' (with the trailing space) into the google search box, the list of suggestions starts with noel edmonds death I imagine people keep searching this day...

1 bonjonelson 16.05.12 5:44pm
Ironduke
new satirical blog for higher education

Hi, There's a new satirical blog about UK Higher Education, encroaching managerialisation, and that sort of thing, that's started doing the rounds with some good write-ups Not sure how newsbiscuit...

0 JDeS 16.05.12 3:02pm
JDeS
Magicslim weight-loss purposes

One of the funniest things on here. "Our ears have lots of points” really? Are we all Vulcans?, "Few people can deny the temptation of food, especially greedy girls.” Ain’t that the truth...

3 16.05.12 2:57pm
beau-jolly
Great FP PO

Nice one. I f***ing chuckled!...

2 Scroat 16.05.12 2:44pm
beau-jolly
Hollande's plane hit by lightning

Thor?, What have you been up to ?...

2 Sinnick 16.05.12 11:27am
Thor
Quote of the year

[i]"I am not so sad that I have to cash in on somebody else's misery!"[/i] That's Derek Acorah refuting claims he'd said that Madeleine McCann is dead. Source here:...

0 Haywood Manley 16.05.12 9:42am
Haywood Manley
Personality appraisal - heroes and zeroes

Try this. Make two lists, with ten people in each. The heroes list is people you respect and admire. The zeroes list is people you loathe and detest. If you do this you can learn a lot about...

6 Scroat 16.05.12 7:40am
Dickens or Shakespeare
disappointing Occupy protest

..in the City today - I was all geared up to watch some crusties rucking with the Bill, but they mosied in at lunchtime, sat around for an hour and buggered off again when it got a bit cloudy...

1 cinquecento 15.05.12 5:10pm
dvo4fun
Perverting the cause of justice...

Reckon Rebekah Brooks and her husband will go down for it or will Dave pull a few strings to keep his friends out of jail? Yes, I absolutely believe that the Prime Minister is a corrupt fuck who...

7 shitsu_tonka 15.05.12 2:21pm
Ironduke
Captions, please

"Don't worry, you'll get used to losing" http://i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/224264/slide_224264_935586_free.jpg...

22 Sinnick 15.05.12 10:19am
kimllfixit
. 0 Yikes 15.05.12 9:27am
Yikes
Beware the snakes of sin !

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-18067653 I particularly like his reason for being at Walmart The purchase of mulch "was intended for his marijuana plants, which Mr Craig said he was...

0 Sinnick 15.05.12 9:02am
Sinnick