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I'll 'ave a 'arf - Help!

I've got this little catch phrase running through my head - "I'll 'ave a 'arf" - said by a little, flat capped character called, I think, Jacko, in a TV sitcom many years ago. What programme was it...

16 theumpire 21.01.13 8:45am
The All New Jeni B
Grrrr wrong room. 9 charlies_hat 20.01.13 11:28pm
Ironduke
BBC NEWS 24

Reporter standing outside in the snow. Just in case we don't know what snow looks like. "This is the worst snow in this region since the winter of .. 2010." So more snow than in the last two or...

6 dvo4fun 20.01.13 11:24pm
Ironduke
Wrong room, it's catching 2 godly1966 20.01.13 7:09pm
The All New Jeni B
Now then, now then, guys & Tweenies

You couldn't make it up [url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-21108337]Tweenies in Jimmy Saville sketch[/url]...

0 MADJEZ 20.01.13 5:52pm
MADJEZ
"Putting my Affairs in Order"

Quote from a friend: "I think it's about time I put my affairs in order. So here we go:, Alice, Jane, Tracy, Lizzie, Lizzie's younger sister (can't remember her name), Clair, Tracy (a different...

0 Titus 20.01.13 10:12am
Titus
Freeways Organization employs SmartWater to prevent cable connection robbers

Nah. Roll on fibre-to-the-cab. Or even fibre-to-the-home. That'll screw the thieving pikey bastards...

5 19.01.13 11:36pm
The All New Jeni B
F*cking love the FP today

Well done Dusty. I was offline yesterday (snow day - i.e. I was out in it instead of in enjoying Tinternet). I particularly love how the Ed has artfully plonked it, stopping with the f*cking f*ckers,...

2 Squudge 19.01.13 9:20am
WWII lard washed up on beach - honest

Thought at first it was Anne Widdicombe [url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-21079285[/url]...

3 Dick Everyman 18.01.13 5:44pm
The All New Jeni B
Just watching Question Time

That Caroline Flint's a bit thick, isn't she?...

4 18.01.13 5:12pm
Gerontius
. 5 house78 18.01.13 11:56am
Scroat
50 shades of meh

How many shameless cash-in titles can you come up with? I'll kick off with "50 shades of hay" - rugged farmhand barn action...

26 NewSuburbanDad 18.01.13 9:23am
riesler
Sarah is 4 miles away.

She's alright actually. And 4 miles isn't far. That's like, Bexleyheath or Dartford. Or Farningham. I have just put my car away though and it's really cold. And the snooker's on. I mean, it's only...

7 Qoxiivi 18.01.13 8:15am
The Real Rebecca
Anyone else waiting for Lance?

Starts in 24 mins on cyclingnews.com but not sure what that will add...

0 antharrison 18.01.13 1:06am
antharrison
Lovely FP from Midfield today 9 dvo4fun 17.01.13 7:41pm
button
Spooky Shop Voucher

mrs 4fun's mother gave me a multi-retailer gift voucher for my birthday last week and two of the firms have already gone tits-up. If any of you play the bear market, or it may be a bull market ...

5 dvo4fun 17.01.13 6:56pm
French posts seem to be popular so I thought I'd try one

Renseignements que nous recueillons, Notre but principal dans la collecte de renseignements personnels est de vous fournir une expérience sécuritaire, souple, efficace et personnalisée. Cela nous...

8 Son of Barnabas 17.01.13 5:24pm
Not Amused
Truebiscuit - Software developer 'Bob' outsources own job to China

Classic! Think this was done on NB awhile back - probably give the guy the idea!...

1 Yikes 17.01.13 3:16pm
dvo4fun
Horse "special"

Could we just have an all-horse edition, with every story horse related? There's enough stuff, I would have thought, inc in the archive. JUst search "horse"...

1 nickb 17.01.13 3:15pm
Tripod
There are too many French letters in this forum ! 0 MADJEZ 17.01.13 2:01pm
MADJEZ
Sacre bleu! I feel better for that!

It was like being (with) Brigitte Bardot for a brief 15 seconds!...

0 Son of Barnabas 17.01.13 1:12pm
Son of Barnabas
NB’s educational qualities

I recently did a quiz of the year. I thought I would be shit because I don’t really pay attention to the news, but it turns out that seeing a flood of one-liners on every topic that dominates the...

9 Vertically Challenged Giant 17.01.13 3:25am
rikkor
cock.

Juvenile schoolboy error...

9 16.01.13 10:30pm
godly1966
Have William and Kate made a baby? - 2

According to Popbitch (never wrong) the palace is soon to announce that Kate's up the duff. So if you're going to do a sub about it maybe now's the time to get writing...

32 shitsu_tonka 16.01.13 9:40pm
Squudge
The Joy of Sex

I love my students. A verbatim quote from one of their essays, analysing sexuality in 'Emma': 'Jane Austen describes passion, feelings and seduction, which are more powerful and tempting than to...

3 Mary Evans 16.01.13 8:21pm
charlies_hat
Muslim Matrimonials

banner ad now appearing at the top of my page - anyone want to start the ball rolling on this one? (takes cover)...

2 medici2471 16.01.13 5:15pm
Lens Cap
Newsbicuit/Daily Mash et al threatned as Daily Mail expands into fake news

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2262149/Belgian-woman-67-picking-friend-railway-station-ends-Zagreb-900-miles-away-satnav-disaster.html Hilarious. And to think they crowed about Chinese...

1 stalinetta 16.01.13 4:45pm
Not Amused
Sorry, touch of the Waylands 3 Perks 16.01.13 2:50pm
Perks
Man checks freshness of Tesco burgers - and they're off!

I bought this from facebook. I think it's funny...

1 Idiot 16.01.13 2:32pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
HELP NEEDED. What makes a good tictoc headline for the front page

I notice that some of the the tictoc headlines in the writers' room get used in the tictoc bar on the top right of the front page. What makes a good tictoc headline. I ask because there are a lot...

20 Lens Cap 16.01.13 1:52pm
Lens Cap