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If a person asks you to see the movie "Ted",

first, throw acid into your own eyes, then stuff your ears full of cotton. You will be safe then...

1 rikkor 20.07.12 5:35am
Made London Broil for dinner.

Vy. inexpensive cut of meat, marinated for a few hours, has to be cooked rare. Do you all just call it "Broil"? Just wondering...

1 rikkor 20.07.12 5:33am
OMG. There are some real nut jobs out there

This is great fun: But then go to this link, which discusses the significance of the number plate on the milk float

6 Scroat 19.07.12 5:35pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Thanks all, from Rikkor.

Hey, the great Jeni B. told me that some of you have been trying to contact me. (And, not about money I owe you.) The sad news is that my German shepherd Rikkor (AKA LVR) died last week. We had 11...

27 rikkor 19.07.12 2:12pm
New Definitions - 234

I've long been a fan of the Uxbridge English Dictionary round in I'm Sorry I haven't a Clue and have idly come up with a few of my own over the years. Here's some if anyone's interested.. Albino: ...

108 Haywood Manley 19.07.12 10:40am
Haywood Manley
More efficient Olympic events

As one with little stomach for watching people run around, it occurs to me that the marathon actually includes all the other running events within it. If they simply noted whoever was in the lead at...

12 cinquecento 19.07.12 8:33am
I may say some words at the funeral of one of the nicest men I've met

And it set me thinking. At the funeral of (M) a wonderfully eccentric [doolally] colleague, her last manager spoke and told a story about when M had worked for Benefits Agency or somesuch. Asking...

14 dvo4fun 19.07.12 7:22am
It's all quite in here tonight

Like a pub the day after a drunken fight resulting in a couple of people getting barred...

11 Perks 19.07.12 4:46am
Mileage in this anyone?

Thought about doing a story about having an Orange mobile account if you were of the Green persuasion in Northern Ireland. Anyone? Like being scared of being kneecapped when the phone bill arrived....

1 Scroat 18.07.12 9:01pm
Desert Island Discs: Aung San Suu Kyi

Any suggestions...

9 Nerys Hughes 18.07.12 1:39pm
Has NB affected reading / watching news for anyone else ?

I seem incapable now of reading / watching / hearing any news without immediately trying to think if there is an angle somewhere, I'm not sure it's healthy...

6 charlies_hat 18.07.12 12:44pm
dvo, your inbox is full

Can you delete some of the hatemail? Cheers!...

5 18.07.12 6:48am
So, they've pulled the plug on me old mate Junket 56

Good luck to no-one then?...

20 Tomfinger 17.07.12 11:08pm
Biscuit Beers

Come along now, boys. It's been far too long. And I'm guessing not many of you hear that very often. Let's have an Olympic sesh - last train sprint, 10m vomit - you know you want to Been busy with...

18 Mary Evans 17.07.12 8:36pm
Have the Olympics happened? Did we win?

There's not much about it in the media so I've lost track of the story...

0 shitsu_tonka 17.07.12 7:25pm
Cassetteboy strikes again

Well, I'm only 6 months out of date: My favourite is still his take on The Apprentice...

1 Sinnick 17.07.12 6:20pm
Newbie standing awkwardly in corner pretending to admire pattern on the carpet..

Hi satiriczars Geniune thanks for comments on my first two postings. It's encouraging to get feedback from such a talented bunch. Will you be my new friends?...

11 Actual Size 17.07.12 5:47pm
Just so you soft southerners know what you are missing up north...

[url=]Something pretty to stave off the rain.[/url]...

8 SingingHinny 17.07.12 5:33pm
Who imagined that special Olympic traffic lanes...

was a good idea? Has London traffic thinned-out, and London drivers become more pleasant than the last time I visited?...

2 rikkor 17.07.12 4:31pm
Humiliating shambles? I'm the right man for the job

dear me his hair looks well though-good at organising SOMETHING...

0 writinginbsl 17.07.12 3:29pm
Everytime I see a reference to G4S I read it as G-Force - anyone else...

remember Battle of the Planets ? I'm sure Spectra are a big threat to the Olympics...

1 charlies_hat 17.07.12 1:56pm
an inspiring lad...just in case this is of interest to anyone

[url=]2011 in the mud[/url] just came across this loads of mud AND a massive whip at the end great commentary too bless...

5 writinginbsl 17.07.12 1:13pm
50 shades of Glasgow!/pages/50-Shades-Of-Glasgow/1583838971755387 Rogered more times than a walkie talkie is my favourite I think...

1 Psycadelic Squirrel 17.07.12 10:50am
Psycadelic Squirrel
Hello, is this the right room for a chat?

Hello good honest folk. Anyone notice the site down today?...

6 Boutros 17.07.12 7:04am
Jon Lord, Deep Purple, RIP

I played several Deep Purple tracks this pm, before I heard this news...

2 Sinnick 16.07.12 10:25pm

[url=]lost for words[/url] i note with some concern that mr hate has downloaded some 5000 pictures in the last 30 days...

18 writinginbsl 16.07.12 9:06pm
David Beckham 'disappointed' with consolation role as Olympic bag-checker

Oops, sorry, wrong forum...

0 Catch32 16.07.12 6:03pm
Judge's verdict

'The Crown say that Mr Terry responded by aiming the words “fuck off, fuck off, yeah, yeah and you fucking black cunt, fucking knobhead”, and possibly one or more other words, at Mr Ferdinand. ...

14 Ironduke 16.07.12 9:54am
Kitten Cam

It's a live stream of seven kittens in a box and sometimes their mum. You'll either find it adorable or better yet be able to convince someone in your life that you are slightly less of a git by...

20 shitsu_tonka 16.07.12 8:49am
a whole afternoon and evening processing client complaints - 2

my particular favourite being a full page of petulant uninformed whinge, summarised as 'We feel conned by your practice. We brought our dog in having eaten slug bait, we didn't know what sort but he...

37 Ironduke 15.07.12 1:49pm