Topic — Add New » Comments Author Last Comment
Archive sub today a gem from Paper Ostrich

National Trust’s multi-million electronic tagging project...

0 dvo4fun 05.07.12 9:21am
dvo4fun
50 shades of chav

posted by someone called thejollyroger on the Telegraph comments. Never mind 50 shades of Grey,, Here's 50 shades of Chav… Even though he only had one tattoo I yearned for him to fill those...

0 Thor 04.07.12 9:47pm
Thor
I'm not racist but...

Got some tropical fish today. Me: I'd like two Pakistani loaches, please., Pet Shop Chap: You can't say that! We call them Yo-Yo loaches., Me: Why?, PSC: Pakistani loaches is racist., Me: But...

19 shitsu_tonka 04.07.12 7:45am
cinquecento
Famous last words - 23

Not being morbid or expecting to need this anytime soon but have you ever concidered what you would like your last words to be?, The sad likelihood is that most people's last words are likely to be,...

61 beau-jolly 03.07.12 6:10pm
Al OPecia
Has Ed Miliband got a [new] scriptwriter?

I thought he was quite funny today. Come on - own up. It'll all come out eventually so why not make a clean breast of it now and save the rest of the class a lot of bother?...

0 dvo4fun 02.07.12 7:53pm
dvo4fun
Lovely Usain Bolt FP piece today

Much more like the imaginative and marginally surreal stuff of old. Good one Yikes...

3 wallster 02.07.12 7:26pm
dvo4fun
Wimbledon - There's a celebrity get me out of here.

Did you see the blood curdling sycophantic celebrity intro sequence at Wimbledon? Rugby, Soccer, Athletics, Cricket, Golf, Question of Sport celebrities and even the armed forces drooled over by Sue....

2 weematt 02.07.12 1:27pm
dvo4fun
Overheard at Tesco, Henley

"They haven't got any mint for the Pimms!" Not so much overheard, as the whole store heard her. Why, don't, you, just, do, us, all, a, favour, and [size=48]Fuck off![/size]...

13 Scroat 02.07.12 12:24pm
andhrimnir
50 shades

I've finally been drawn to wonder WTF is "50 shades of grey". So, wikipideia notes it is an erotic novel featuring BDSM. Still confused, I look up BDSM, to be told "not to be confused with DBMS...

3 Sinnick 02.07.12 8:06am
cinquecento
Pardon ?

Alan Shearer, at the end of the footie: "You have to remember that these players have an unbelievable amount of sex, I mean success". Just reporting...

0 Sinnick 01.07.12 8:59pm
Sinnick
Today I have purchased a new vaccum and food mixer

I'm a reasonable man, so I'm nipping off for a swift gentleman's wash before Mrs Duke pays her dues. Don't expect any sparkling prose from me for the rest of the evening...

5 Ironduke 01.07.12 11:20am
Gerontius
Know any good tax avoidance schemes?

With the K2 scheme coming under scrutiny I wondered if anyone had any other good wheezes to legally avoid paying taxes., I get around paying income tax by earning bugger all. I once had the brief...

19 beau-jolly 29.06.12 8:05pm
Ironduke
Piers Morgan brings worst ratings to CNN prime time slot in 21 years

A real headline from the Telegraph web site. Made me laugh anyway...

3 rustytruss 29.06.12 4:45pm
rustytruss
as the newly washed duvet of hope submerges slowly into the green pond of time..

i wished id used more clothes pegs (and not sited the pond under the washing line) *sigh*...

4 writinginbsl 29.06.12 9:05am
writinginbsl
Intelligent Life?

Just got this email: "Dear Alex, Intelligent Life is the luxury lifestyle and culture magazine from The Economist, now published six times per year. It covers the arts, style, food, wine, cars,...

8 29.06.12 9:04am
writinginbsl
Please, please make it tied-together bed sheets?!

[url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-18621232]Acme prison[/url]...

10 The All New Jeni B 28.06.12 8:29pm
allmyownstunts
Camford Bottom reopens and confuses drivers

[url=http://www.thisisdorset.net/news/9783081.VIDEO__Canford_Bottom_junction_reopens___but_drivers_are_left_confused/?ref=mr]I kid you not[/url], This is one of the most read and shared articles in...

7 beau-jolly 28.06.12 5:53pm
dvo4fun
I think that we should start collecting favourite online reviews.

Like this. http://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R231U4ZG0YDNHD/ref=cm_cr_pr_viewpnt#R231U4ZG0YDNHD...

11 Al OPecia 28.06.12 2:04pm
Genghis Cohen
Crimestoppers

[url=http://www.cityoflondon.police.uk/CityPolice/Contact/]Barclays Thieves and Fraudsters[/url]...

1 medici2471 28.06.12 11:38am
nostra da mouse
Today's FP. Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Hahahahahahahahahahaha...bonk.

(*sound of Maz falling off chair in giggling fit, wishing she'd had the facility of both hands to break her fall). Nice one, Wayland. You dirty little doughnut. My favourite train-related smut since...

4 Mary Evans 28.06.12 8:35am
Oxbridge
Grrrr - wrong room..... schoolboy error. 1 charlies_hat 27.06.12 10:32am
wallster
Capello is Rooney’s father

well that is what it appears like from today's side by side pic in Telegraph http://www.telegraph.co.uk/...

0 Yikes 27.06.12 9:08am
Yikes
NiB typo!

The current NiB has 'apocalpse' in the title. Is it a new fruit drink?...

2 26.06.12 2:36pm
Jimmy Carr - grown up or lost his balls? - 2

On disabled servicemen "Say what you like about the servicemen amputees from Iraq and Afghanistan but we're going to have a ****ing good Paralympics team in 2012." On Down’s syndrome kids " Why...

30 medici2471 26.06.12 1:36pm
beau-jolly
BBC got there first

In a feature article, the BBC report that a very rare species of bat, the "Grey Long-Eared Bat", has just been discovered for the first time in Wales. Quite exciting if this is the sort of thing that...

0 Sinnick 26.06.12 1:33pm
Sinnick
Alan Partridge is back!

It's on Sky Atlantic. I was worried it would be a bit tired, but I've not laughed so much in ages. Two handfuls of sausage meat, please...

4 26.06.12 12:53pm
Duff
You're all bastards.

Not you lot, obviously...

9 wallster 26.06.12 11:23am
butagirl
Royal Handshake Sponsorship Concerns

With thousands of people are lining the streets in Belfast, waiting to greet the Queen, concerns have been expressed about the over commercialisation of her Diamond Jubilee - presented by De Beers...

0 custard cream 26.06.12 10:37am
custard cream
Newsbiscuiteer hides out on forum to avoid excruciating football match

Its pure masochism I tell you...

13 JohnA 26.06.12 8:25am
cinquecento
“NATO meet over Turkish jet."

Guardian headline. Beat that, David Blaine...

0 Thor 26.06.12 8:24am
Thor