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Contact Nice Admin Lady - newsbiscuitnalATgmailDOTcom 0 Nice Admin Lady 7 months
How to edit your profile, add an image, and change your password 0 Nice Admin Lady 10 months
Welcome to the Chat Room 0 admin 4 years
Advice for potential comedians, from Paul Merton 1 Sinnick 1 hour

He's having a laugh: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-29739883...

Buggah, dun it again 0 throngsman 1 hour
Jimmy Carr Q Awards Pistorius jokes. 2 MADJEZ 6 hours

Since I had to hunt a bit to find what the fuss was. [quote]In his speech Carr began talking about long queues when needing the toilet, adding: ‘So frustrating. All I’m saying is I can see it...

Yerp 8 NewBiscuit 20 hours

Seems like the good Monsieurs Junckers & Barroso have devised a plan to bring about a way of pushing united kingdom off the EU train. The simultaneous : "No you can't have any renegotiation of...

Ticker alert: isn't it 'tamagotchi?' 1 Ted King 20 hours
Has Writer of the Month award died? - 2 37 Lens Cap 1 day

I remember when the Writer of the Month award added a little bit of fun to proceedings and gave people the additional motivation to write. It was the pinnacle of writing for Newsbiscuit. You worked...

Starting the 'Write for NewsBiscuit' ticker challenge - 238910 296 Kevin the Swan 1 day

Day 1 - 19th Feb, running low on palatable rations 'Sat on your skis at Sochi? Write for NewsBiscuit' 'Watching Torvill & Dean win again? Write for NewsBiscuit'...

Genius 1 Al OPecia 1 day

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Fe30WINlTg&feature=youtu.be Who is your favourite?...

What's the latest on the Dead Pool? - 23222324 709 The All New Jeni B 2 days

Surely someone's got Prince Philip as a dead cert?...

How do I send a pic? 8 Jim Garner 2 days

I gotta nice picture to go with my Ryanair story just posted, but my softwear (and my ignorance) only lets me send it as an attachment to email. It's a picture of my arse. Actually, all you...

Police searching for missing Renee Zellweger 0 patb 3 days

Los Angeles Police Department today launched an appeal to find the Oscar winning actress, Renee Zellweger. The star of "Jerry Maquire" and "Bridget Jones's Diary" has not been seen for many months...

Is this one of you lot? 6 Ted King 3 days

[url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-29689505]Clown[/url]...

Writers' challenge 19 bonjonelson 3 days

We haven't had one of these for a while, a challenge to get a particular phrase or word into a submission. So I'm starting it off with this one: Any anagram of the name 'Newsbiscuit' Or, if you...

Longer sentences for internet trolls 11 gillie 3 days
HIGNFY - come on, own up 9 riesler 3 days

Just watched last week's on iPlayer. When Sue Perkins held that gun to her head, who shouted at the screen "Go on, do it!". We all did...

What's your least impressive celebrity encouter stories? - 23313233 965 bonjonelson 3 days

Have you met a really unimportant celebrity? How did it turn out? Who has the best story from the least exciting celebrity? Here's my entry - I once had Sunday lunch at Guru Josh's house, roast...

Speeding Clarkson 7 gillie 4 days

Following the news that Jeremy Clarkson has been caught speeding, it has been announced that speed cameras will now be called 'Clarkson Cameras'. Presumably because they can crop up anywhere,...

Political Shitspeak 29 Crayon 4 days

I'm working on a piece about a politician who exceeds their weekly cliche target by making a statement that is just one long and completely vacuous sentence. Obviously, for the piece to work well,...

'muff said 0 Iroquois Pliskin 5 days

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-29641990...

Longer sentences for internet trolls 1 gillie 6 days

Internet trolls will now have to do longer sentences. In addition, they will be banned from using commas and semi-colons. Their sentences will now have to be as long as a paragraph...

NewsBiscuit Assortment Calendar 20 Crayon 6 days

NewsBiscuit Assortment Calendar Photographs of biscuits tastefully arranged in an appropriate environment alongside a beverage and accompanying newspaper, periodical, TV news channel, programme or...

USA Credit Crunch 2 gillie 6 days

America's Credit rating on the World market has plummeted after President Obama's credit card was rejected. A Whitehouse spokesman was quick to point out that although the card failed it was made of...

John Finnemore 1 Titus 1 week

Recently enjoyed the start of his new series on Radio Four. The world he creates in his lunatic imagination often seems more credible than the real one - bit like this place. He'd fit right in...

Headlines 6 deceangli 1 week

A few of mine have been edited out of existence, and I notice that today's lovely piece about Freudian slips lost the line about 'being kicked to death by toffs', which I felt was strong. I'm always...

I see the tickers have got stuck again (sigh). 13 Titus 1 week

Presumably Our Noble Masters have - again - forgotten to appoint anyone to update them. C'mon, O Masters - please?...

Genuine news that an American was locked inside a branch of 'Waterstones' 0 gillie 1 week

It is amazing what retailers have to do now to promote sales. The gentleman held hostage refused to comment on what books he had read but it is thought that they were in the 'Legal Advice' section.,...

Could 'So-Called' be used elsewhere? 15 ianslat 1 week

So IS / ISIS / ISIL are now being called 'So-Called Islamic State' by the Beeb. It's an approach that could be applied in other areas as well. I've thought of a few examples, but I'm sure there are...

Andy Murray Crowns Himself New Head of SNP 1 jb1 1 week

Still riding high off the aftermath of his #indyref tweet, Andy Murray has voted himself in as the new SNP leader, despite having left Scotland nearly a decade ago. With the old leader Alex Salmond...

Given that most politicians would tongue a tramp's ring for a scent of power 6 Ironduke 1 week

What's the odds on a Liberal in a Tory winnable area defecting prior to the election? 'I had some power, and I liked it' as Katy Perry might say Danny Alexander? Brian Laws?...

Oops 3 Al OPecia 1 week