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Contact Nice Admin Lady - newsbiscuitnalATgmailDOTcom 0 Nice Admin Lady 4 weeks
How to edit your profile, add an image, and change your password 0 Nice Admin Lady 4 months
Welcome to the Chat Room 0 admin 4 years
Dear Ticker Editor: I know you do a thankless job, but... 6 Des Custard 5 hours

the 'Violence statistics' one-liner takes as its starting point the real headline that recorded violence has fallen by 12%. The joke, which possibly only Spartacus appreciated, involved turning the...

I wasn't going to do this.... 4 throngsman 6 hours

But today's ticker practically begged me, so I'm jumping on the 'I wrote a book' bandwagon as well. My eighth novel, Assassin, is published on the 1st May and is available for pre-order on Apple...

bugger - sorry, wrong room 4 throngsman 7 hours
giving yourself stars 11 vulture1 10 hours

I suspect I might have accidentally awarded myself some stars. No really. Is this possible or have I been taken over by aliens?...

MUFC FFS 11 Scroat 12 hours

In the car, listening to the radio yesterday. Radio 4: bla bla bla Manchester United manager bla bla bla Radio 2: bla bla bla Manchester United manager bla bla bla Radio Berkshire: bla bla bla...

What's the latest on the Dead Pool? - 23202122 638 The All New Jeni B 21 hours

Surely someone's got Prince Philip as a dead cert?...

What's your least impressive celebrity encouter stories? - 23282930 873 bonjonelson 1 day

Have you met a really unimportant celebrity? How did it turn out? Who has the best story from the least exciting celebrity? Here's my entry - I once had Sunday lunch at Guru Josh's house, roast...

Starting the 'Write for NewsBiscuit' ticker challenge - 234 108 Kevin the Swan 1 day

Day 1 - 19th Feb, running low on palatable rations 'Sat on your skis at Sochi? Write for NewsBiscuit' 'Watching Torvill & Dean win again? Write for NewsBiscuit'...

If you've forgiven Neal Doran for his last book, you might want to know... 1 Mary Evans 1 day

that the next one, Not What They Were Expecting, is out today. Precocious bastard...

Morning TV 0 Scroat 1 day

This is a comment on the Guardian website about Good Morning Britain, ITV's new breakfast programme. The writer is suggesting how this slot should be filled. Do away with ITV breakfast television...

Replacement Bus Service Introduced As Four 'Top Ten' Posts Go Missing 9 Titus 1 day
Brussels claim UK government subsidy as offshore wind farm 0 Robert Koch 1 day

I hadn't the nerve to put it in the Writers room...

did privatization give the post office irony? 2 throngsman 2 days

Postie just delivered this month's Which? with cover headline 'What's in your takeaway?' under a clear wrapper. Other item delivered - a Dominoes menu...

I knew someone who bought a nuclear shelter with a money back guarantee. 0 Al OPecia 2 days

Doesn't seem so silly now...

Is it me, or is the 'top ten' a tad misleading? 16 throngsman 2 days

I know it's picky, but....

Pot, Kettle 2 Kevin the Swan 2 days

someone make something of this, please:, [url=http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/david-cameron/10778137/David-Cameron-faking-Christian-convictions-suggests-Alastair-Campbell.html]Can Campbell...

Twat 3 bonjonelson 3 days

Did I tell you how much I hate the 'too fast' message here?...

I done a book 21 exigo 4 days

Some of you may well remember my formerly-prolific sprinkling of one liners on this site. I've been rather quiet on here lately, and I'm rather pleased to announce the reason why. Here's my debut,...

Fools and their follies 2 andyiong 5 days

I had thought [url=http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=71405]this[/url] piece a little far fetched at the time but, as usual, the ECB have gone much further down the route of killing irony...

Truebiscuit 1 charlies_hat 5 days

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-27078782 http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28002#post-77366...

new biscuit legal dept 8 Robert Koch 6 days

Why has the following article been removed?, http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2013/02/26/stars-out-in-force-at-this-years-vatican-awards/ have we received correspondence from the Vatican heavies?...

The Mouse That R̶o̶a̶r̶e̶d̶ Squeaked 19 pinxit 1 week

Just thought I'd share an interesting 48 hours I've had over at Twitter with a large company attempting to censor a satire of them, under the pretext of copyright. The skit involved was extremely...

Insensitive 2 Titus 1 week

It would be insensitive and grossly offensive to post a story "S Korean Ferry Joins Hunt For Missing Airliner" on the Writers' forum, so I won't...

DLT hahahahahaha! - 234 118 beau-jolly 1 week

I've just been looking for the old thread (April time?) where I got a bit of stick for suggesting DLT was a wrong 'un when he was accussed of indecent assault. I was, quite rightly, pulled up for...

I am Nice Admin. Lady! 6 rikkor 1 week

Oh, sorry. No, I'm Spartacus, not Nice Admin. Lady...

When Satire Goes Wrong 3 andyiong 1 week

Probably best to lay off Kim Jong-un for a bit…, http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-27038723...

A pat on the collective back 3 NewBiscuit 1 week

Occasionally someone posts about how the whole NewsBiscuit site is going to hell in a handcart and it was much funnier in the good old days etc. But I just put up some old shite in the writers room...

oops sorry folks 6 Robert Koch 1 week
Any idea why Shell stations across the country are run by Sri Lankans? 6 custard cream 1 week

I travel a lot and invariable find this when filling up at a Shell station. Is it a massive franchise operation?...

Fake Designer NewsBiscuit Mugs 10 Titus 1 week

I wonder how many readers might be interested in forming a syndicate to commission the manufacture of a batch of NotNewsBiscuit mugs, bearing some slogan such as "I didn't want to win a NewsBisuit...