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Swiftify launches featuring only Taylor Swift songs
New music streaming app Swiftify has launched, dedicated entirely to the music of Taylor Swift. Users can listen to songs from a vast library of albums - albeit most of them feature the same songs just with different cover art - and explore music from the many genres which Taylor has toyed with over her multi decade career. Swiftify Chief Exec Bradley Brady said, '90% of all music streams are of the top 1% of artistes, and 50% are of Taylor, probably. So we figured just cut

Sir Lupus
1 hour ago


Tories to replace MPs with AI Robots
NewsBiscuit has discovered a secret Conservative programme to phase out humans as MPs and replace them with Cyber MPs, using a...
hokeyloki
5 hours ago


Israel claims they and Hamas 'were on a break'
With strikes and gunshots again heard in all across Palestine again, an Israeli spokesperson has claimed today that they and Hamas, 'were on a break.' 'It’s all fine, we were on a break,' said Ben Bronten, an IDF official. 'We took some time out to see if we were over it all, and clearly we’re not. We both still have a lot of pent-up emotion, and that is going to come up in unexpected gunfire and missile strikes sometimes.” He went on to point out that sometimes truces were

simonjjames
5 hours ago



ModelMaker
8 hours ago


Army relieved that Andrew is no longer Duke of York
Army Top Brass are pleased that the 'prince' will not be able to use 10,000 soldiers for needless yomps up and down hills any more. An army spokesman said, 'this was a gross misuse of trained professionals, marching these troops up to the top of a hill, for no reason other than to march them down again. And simply to confirm that when they are up, they are up. Madness. Sheer, bloody madness.' Major-General Headly-Smedley-Landrover-Smyth was quoted as saying, 'We are glad
BillClay
8 hours ago


Those stolen Louvre national treasures in full
'Mon Dieu!' wailed a curator from the Louvre. 'These jewels swiped from our museum were literally unique. 'Just think, these Philistines took Brigitte Bardot's cat flap. How can we ever replace a national treasure like that? 'And they stole Sir Stephen Fry - a British national treasure which was on loan to us from King Charles. They must have cut him up into pieces to get him through the Louvre window. 'Quel dommage! Such damage! They will probably end up being sold for

Jeremynh
1 day ago


Massive search underway after last piece of Liz Truss’s credibility ‘goes out of window’
A huge police search was under way for Liz Truss’s credibility after the final piece of it was said to have gone out of the window at...

ChrisF
1 day ago


Satan to give up his titles over Epstein connections
The Prince of Darkness is giving up his titles, including the Mammon Demon of Greed, following 'discussion with the King.' In a statement, The Former Angel of the Abyss said that the 'continued accusations about me distract from the work of stealing, killing and destroying.' Beelzebub will remain a prince, but will cease to be The Lord of the Flies, as well as giving up membership of a group of demons known as Legion, the oldest and most senior order of the underworld. Lucife

Ian Searle
1 day ago


Caption Competition: Friday 24th October
The Comments Section is currently closed. Please wend your way to Facebook https://www.facebook.com/NewsBiscuit to enter. The closing date for the competition will be Friday night or when our Editor 'gets their arse into gear'. The winner will be selected in a frustratingly arbitrary and capricious way. The Judge’s verdict is final and has probably been influenced by bribery. Late entries will be late. The winning caption will be posted and preserved on Newsbiscuit, with the

Kit Caboodle
1 day ago


Birmingham bin strike now a tourist attraction
The Birmingham bin strike is well into its eighth month, but it's not all bad news. Several enterprising companies are offering 'bin strike experiences' and guided tours of the main locations. Colin leads the 'Apocalypse Now' tour, which is popular with residents and visitors alike. 'It's not too serious,' he says. 'No-one wants to be lectured about typhoid and dysentery. 'We ask our guests to put on Hazmat suits for the tour, and we give them Geiger counters and a mallet fo

deskpilot
1 day ago


Prince Andrew to stand back, again
I have decided to stand back from using certain titles, so henceforth I and the press won't be using 'Randy Andy' anymore. 'His former Royal Highness Randy Andy' is included. I am also ditching my remaining Royal patronages including Pizza Express. My Royal endorsement for Sure deodorant will remain as a necessity as I have, thankfully,learned how to sweat again. I will renounce my attendance at Christmas lunch with the King and will be tucking in at the Hungry Horse in Winds

Throngsman
2 days ago
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