Reform UK has abandoned plans to protect Britain’s borders with a 30-foot wall of cake after bakers warned it would be “vulnerable to rain and surprisingly easy to eat through”. The party insisted the barrier could be built entirely from British flour, eggs and “absolutely no foreign jam”. Nigel Farage dismissed concerns about its structural integrity as “Two-Tier baking”. Plans to switch from Victoria sponge to fruitcake were abandoned after a Home Office study found the wal

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The errors sometimes made by AI chatbots are a deliberate feature, according to a spokesman from Uberdork, which produces the Gerard app. ”Sure, these things have access to the whole internet, along with tools to help them distinguish trustworthy sites from Fox News. In theory, they could be 100% reliable. “But we also want them to be relatable, like having a chat with a friend. And we all have that friend who may know a fair amount about some things, but doesn’t admit it whe

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Provider of information to woke snowflakes, Channel 4 News, still thinks what unfunny clowns do and say in their bids to become Britain's Silliest Prime Minister is actually news. No self-respecting fully paid up Conservative member even acknowledges the existence of Channel 4, never mind watch its news output. The only known incident where it happened was in 2019 when Gerry SaintJohn-Smythe from Bournemouth accidentally pressed the wrong button on his remote control, later c

Eighteen-year-olds will be able to buy half-price train tickets for most services when railcard rules are changed later this month, the Department for Transport (DfT) has announced. The Government said the measure would be paid for through increased train ridership, with more people being able to access the discounted fares thus enhancing the overcrowding experience. The rail minister claimed this, ‘common sense change is exactly what passengers should expect from the railway

Following their bravura appearance at the World Cup Final – which included Animal making out with Madonna off-camera – FIFA has confirmed that its current head, Gianni Infantino, is to be replaced by Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy from the Muppet Show. Infantino’s position had become untenable after his scheme to sell stakes in the World Cup to private investors met with widespread criticism. It is the first time the organisation has had shared leadership and the first time t

Famous for his floppy hat and directionally labelled gardening footwear, the 80 year old mirth maker has finally stopped saying ‘Come ‘ere, there’s more’ because, quite clearly, there isn’t. Born, probably, in Northern Ireland, Cricket turned his attention to comedy after a tour of duty as chief entertainment officer and Libyan go-between for the People’s Front of Ulster, and a short stint as bass player in Belfast punkers Stiff Little Fingers during the mid 70s, failed to ra

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