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Social media is on fire with allegations that the BBC hasn't reported anything about the crisis in Iran, despite running several separate news articles every day since the demonstrations started.  They are also accused of not reporting anything about the situation in Gaza, despite running articles daily since last year.



'We admit that some reporting is difficult,' said a BBC spokesman, adding, 'as both Iran and Israel won't allow correspondents in, and those that do sneak in tend to get shot', he said. 'I ran to tell you because is real.'



Critics grudgingly agree, but point out that the BBC hasn't announced the upcoming General Election, to be debated next week where the government, despite having a huge majority, is going to roll over and vote to pull the General Election forward by at least three years.  The BBC agree that they haven't reported that piece of news but defended themselves by pointing out that whenever the next election does occur they have told the country who to vote for. Repeatedly.



'The UK's official foreign policy is for the Prime Minister to hold President Trump's coat and grin while he beats up all the smaller nations in the playground,' said a Downing Street spokes-toady.


'As well as that, he'll supply all that's left of Britain's armed forces - a rusty fleet auxiliary ship and a couple of Cessnas - to help Trump nab international shipping in the north Atlantic.


'All the while, we'll be pleading with Bully Boy Trump not to flick the ears of countries we like, such as Greenland, and plunder its natural resources.


'Not that Trump would take a blind bit of notice of us, given that natural resources mean money and money is the one thing Trump understands.


'Serving as sidekick to this nasty, vain, increasingly demented ignoramus is Britain's place in the modern world and Sir Keir is rightfully ashamed - I mean, proud - to have led us here.'


Image: WixAI


US Secretary of Defence Pete Hegseth today assured Americans that the military was ready and equipped to capture the rolling green hills of Greenland.


'Our proud fighting men have been supplied with the latest in mobile attack units, perfect for dealing with all the tall grass and small patches of mud that Greenland’s terrain can throw at us.' a spokesman in sandals and aa Hawaiian shirt told gathering reporters.


'We have made sure troops will be able to deal with any hay fever or small cuts caused by the lush verdant hills by issuing plasters and antihistamines as standard.' He added.


Hegseth went on to describe the army’s standard issue cargo shorts and sunglasses for combating the beating sun on Greenland’s idyllic ranges.


When asked if there would be any considerations of protecting the invading force from extreme cold in the depth of winter, the spokesman replied, 'No, you’re thinking of Iceland. Clue's in the name.'


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