World hoping Iran less psychotic than USA & Israel

President Trump is basing his strategy, on the hope that Iran will NOT do what the US/Israel has been doing. Straight from the 'please-turn-the-other-cheek-so-I-can-get--a-really-good-thwack-at-the-other-one' school of diplomacy. As one aide pointed out: ‘It’s not WWIII if the other side forget to respond.’

This puts the Iranian Regime in the unenviable position of having to be the bigger man, while having the $hit bombed out of them. The US was clear: ‘We will not tolerate the proliferation of nuclear bombs and wanton destruction in the Middle East, unless it is done by us, or our mates in Tel Aviv.

‘Iran needs to be grateful that we are breaking every international law, just to free them. Free them from their oil reserves that is.’

Photo: https://unsplash.com/@me_is_jesse

Trump aims for Nobel Peace Prize by causing Armageddon

White House officials were quick to confirm that President Trump's decision to involve US Forces in bombing Iranian Nuclear Sites was all part of his plan to win the Nobel Peace Prize.

'The Romans said, "if you want peace, prepare for war,'" said Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt in a rare moment of lucidity yesterday. 'The President is well-prepared for conflict and the potential death of many across the world is a sacrifice he's willing to make. Once the dust settles and there's an inability to have any future military engagements because we've been returned to prehistoric times, the Nobel committee will have no option but to give him the Peace Prize. That's the difference between the former short term thinking of Presidents like Barack Obama and Joe Biden, and strategists like Donald Trump.'

The US Department of Defense confirmed it is planning for retaliation from Iran and the possibility of Nuclear Armageddon, and already planning for any post-apocalyptic gaps by stockpiling iodine pills, potable water, and big planks with nails in them.

With all modern communication methods likely to be destroyed in World War III, it's unclear how news will reach Washington DC from The Nobel Committee in Stockholm. However, it is also rumoured the US Government is asking all winners of a place in the Boston Marathon Ballot to report to West Point Military Academy immediately.

photo: Photo by Luke Jernejcic on Unsplash

Trump wants swimming certificate because Obama got one

United States President Donald Trump has expressed surprise that he hasn’t yet been presented with a swimming award, despite no evidence that he can swim. Critics say that he just jumps in feet first and thrashes about, creating massive waves.

Hardly driven by jealousy over former President Barack Obama’s swimming certificate for calmly negotiating his way through troubled waters, Trump claims to have warranted a similar prize four or five times. He says that he hasn’t been given the credit he deserves for wading in all around the world, especially in India and Pakistan. However, the Indian Prime Minister said that it was he who successfully reached the other end, and it was nothing to do with the US President.

Other world leaders have praised some of the strokes that Trump has pulled. In particular, Russia’s Vladimir Putin has expressed admiration for the US President’s front and back crawl techniques. And Israel’s Netanyahu has vowed to work with Trump on his entry into the pool with a massive bomb.

image from pixabay

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