The school of two children recently injured while fetching a pail of water from up a hill was guilty of not adhering to health and safety regulations, it has been revealed.

Despite having completed all the compulsory training in the area of health and safety, the children’s teacher, Mrs Curran, failed to carry out a full risk assessment before sending the children up the hill.

An alarming loophole in the advertising laws was exposed this week when a West Midlands school announced it has begun placing adverts on its pupils. The children are having popular brand names tattooed on their forehead, which is bringing in much needed revenue for the cash-strapped school.

‘It’s the perfect fundraiser,’ said John Ghent Headmaster of the Wolverhampton comprehensive. ‘It only came to light when our media studies class discovered that despite all the restrictions for advertising to children there were no rules about on children.’ Some adverts are even written in reverse, so the pupils read ‘Coca-Cola’ in their bathroom mirror first thing in the morning.