Ever been sick of some other girl having first dibs on your possession? Ever wanted to surgically remove any previous joy your ‘worse half’ has had with anyone other than you? Then ladies, you need new History-Sweep!

As when your boyfriend deletes his internet browsing history just before you come over to his place, History-Sweep is a service we provide where all knowledge of previous experiences with dirty slut whores is removed.

Has he ever worn a costume of just a blindfold and a ball cock?...With History-Sweep, consider it erased!

Has he ever had a three way with two girls just slightly prettier and slimmer than you? Erased!

Has he ever dared to play kiss chase when he was 6, even though he was the overweight kid and could only chase down the girl with the artificial leg? Erased!

Our staff of jaded ex girlfriends are only too willing to track down these female offenders and explain to them, in no uncertain terms, that your boyfriend did not exist before you were around, and we will, for an extra fee, hypnotize your boyfriend to remind him he only first noticed his penis after you wore those high heels and that top which people your size probably shouldn’t wear.

Rest assured these devil women will no longer contact your man, as they will know who you belong to. In extreme cases, hair pulling will be enforced should you take out our ‘Gold’ package.

So don’t delay, for a trouble free relationship where all insecurities are removed, try our new History-Sweep today!