A small village in South America was thrown into chaos when the local volcano unexpectedly erupted, devastating most buildings with an unstoppable lava flow. However, local officials were relieved to report no children died in the disaster.

"We've lost about two thirds of the village, including all our village elders," one of the inhabitants said, "but thankfully, no children were harmed." His neighbour concurred, saying, "I've lost my husband and my six brothers and sisters, but I'm just glad that my three year old son wasn't hurt."

Newspapers around the world are currently debating whether to report the event, as they are finding it hard to come up with a good headline. "I mean, normally we grab everyone's attention by putting something like 'Volcano Erupts, Five Children Dead," one editor said, scratching his head bemusedly, "but this time every child has survived. I mean, how are we supposed to report on something like that? It'd be easier to just forget about the whole thing."

Rumours that a journalist for one of the local newspapers tried to bribe one of the survivors into tossing one of the children into the still moving lava flow to get a better headline remain unfounded at this point in time.